spigot: H H H H H HOTDOGS ???? HOT DOGS spigot: HOT / DOGS spigot: I DON'T WANT TO GET OFF ON A RANT HERE, BUT . . . . . . . . . . . spigot: **********URK SPLURK********** spigot: (GOT OFF SORRY)

atandt: HURF BLURF THROWING UP LIKE THE DEUCE atandt: UUGHUHGHGH atandt: WEINERSCHNITZEL spigot: HOT DOGS RECALLED deuce: NOOOO

spigot: IS ANYONE HERE HOT FOR TEACHER?!?!?!? JUST MOI?!?!?! deuce: T SPIGOT YOU HAVE BEEN SMOKING WAY TOO MUCH POT spigot: TO EASE THE CRUSHING PAIN OF MODERN LIFE deuce: I ON THE OTHER HAND DRINK TO FEEL AN INFLATED SENSE OF SELF-ESTEEM

spigot: IS IT HOT IN HERE spigot: BLGHLBHGLBHGLBHGLBH YOU ARE SHAKING ME LIKE AN INFANT

deuce: OKAY WHO'S UP FOR SOME HOT J/O? spigot: NOT ME (spigot): ME

spigot: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD RIG MY BALLTOSS pants: I'D LIKE THAT

:: NEITHER (LEFT, "SPIGOT", RIGHT, "ATANDT") SUBJECT SUFFERS FROM A MAJOR MENTAL DEFECT THEY DO NOT AUTOMATICALLY QUALIFY FOR AN INSANITY DEFENSE spigot: FROM NOW ON PLEASE CALL ME HOTNUTS atandt: WHY IS THERE CORN IN THE TOILET spigot: I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW

deuce: I'M A HOT POCKET pants: PUTTING YOU INTHE CRISPING SLEEVE deuce: FUCK YEAH deuce: THIS MEANS I'M BEING TREATED SPECIALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOO MICROWAVED AND KILLED

net: WELL I FINISHED THE LEFTOVER PONTILLOS PIZZA AND THE LEFTOVER FROZEN PIZZA AND NOW I'M GOING FOR THE PIZZA-FLAVORED CROISSANT POCKETS AND THEN ANYTHING REMOTELY SHAPED LIKE OR IN THE SAME ROOM AS PIZZA deuce: HONK deuce: I HAVE MY WANG STUCK IN A HOT POCKET SO SNAP IT UP MOTHERFUCKER net: WAS THE HOT POCKET COOKED OR NO deuce: I WILL GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT

spigot: I'M PH-BALANCED FOR HOT PRICKS spigot: HOT MEANING THEY BURN MY MOUTH spigot: I NEED SOME CORT-AID

atandt: HERE IS OUR NEXT EXPLOSIVE STOCK PICK: pants: IS THAT LIKE MY HOT TIP atandt: HGLAGHLAUHGULHALG HALUG ALUGH LAGH LUAHGLUH AULGHULA HGUL HALGHLUAHLGAG deuce: I WILL BLOW ON IT UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN deuce: WHEN HE SAID EXPLOSIVE HE WASN'T KIDDING MURRMPHL pants: YOU POOR MAN

deuce: PENIS LIFE spigot: I LIVE IN HOTEL DUMBSHIT

spigot: I THINK I COULD BEST SUM THINGS UP WITH A MOUTHFUL spigot: COULD HOTMAIL BY MY SOLUTION??????????????????? spigot: LET'S GO AROUND THE ROOM STARTING WITH ME spigot: HONK deuce: HURRR pants: WENDY'S BIGGIE FRIES spigot: PANTLEGS deuce: YOU DON'T GET TO GO TWICE

: "Have you seen my bong?" : Deuce just looked at him. "Uh.." : Spigot continued over him: "It's blue and probably full of dirty water." : Deuce, having eaten the bong hours ago (filthy bongwater and all) said nothing. spigot: FUCK YOU / FUCK YOU / FUCK YOU / FUCK YOU deuce: YOUR RIGHTS ONLINE spigot: ARE OUR MODEL RELEASE FORMS SAFE

deuce: HALP I'M SURROUNDED BY FAGGOTS

pants: NEVER EVER WALK INTO THE FISTING ROOM UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO BE IN THERE pants: YOU REALLY HAVE TO RESEARCH IT BEFORE YOU WALK IN pants: SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO pants: THERE'S A LOT OF COMPLICATED PAPERWORK pants: YOU HAVE TO TIP THE DOORMAN pants: NEVER, EVER GET INTO THE SWING BEFORE YOUR NUMBER IS CALLED pants: AND BE SURE TO SMILE

deuce: HOUSTON WE'VE HAD A PROBLEM pants: YOU HAVE TO SAY OVER !!! deuce: T PANTS NO THEY HAVE A BLEEPY THING FOR THAT (OVER) pants: BEEP BOOP BOOP HOW DO I GET LINUX TO RECOGNIZE ATA DRIVES spigot: MY CD PLAYER IS SQUEAKING AND SQUAWKING LIKE MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND

spigot: HEY LADY HOW ABOUT A BLOWJOB?????????? spigot: NO I MEAN YOU -> ME spigot: A SLOBJOB THEN????????? STRANGLING YOU ANYWAY spigot: HURLKGLK THAT'S RIGHT spigot: SURPRISE YOU'RE AN IDIOT GHLGHLGHKK spigot: GHLRLGKL SAY WHAT???? SPEAK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LGHLGHLKR spigot: HELLO

pants: INSTEAD OF SAYING YOU'RE GOING TO DRILL MY ASS HOW ABOUT INSTEAD WE SAY EXPLORE

spigot: HOW / ARE YA FIXED / FOR :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2: FARTS :POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: spigot: THE WITNESS MAY ANSWER

pants: DID WE SPEAK ABOUT PRICKS AND MORE SPECIFICALLY HOW YOU ARE FIXED FOR THEM

spigot: DEAR MOM!!! YOU MIGHT WANT TO MOVE TO MEXICO ON SEP 10 spigot: LOVE OSAMA spigot: P.S. STILL DID NOT GET CHECK

spigot: T PANTS HOW ARE YOU VOTING ON PROPOSITION B spigot: T PANTS WHAT ABOUT PROPOSITION J spigot: T PANTS ARE YOU STILL TYPING YOUR ANSWER

deuce: YOU'LL HAVE TO INVOKE THE TWENTY-FIFTH AMENDMENT TO GET MY DICK OUT OF YOUR FACE

spigot: HOW CAN I NAVIGATE THE NET WHEN I CAN'T EVEN NAVIGATE MY NUTS pants: IF YOU'D ONLY APPLY YOURSELF

deuce: OKAY GLHGHLGHGLHGHLGHLGLHGHL

pants: WHAT IF I PASS OUT BEFORE I COME TO atandt: GET OUT OF HERE pants: HOW CAN I TELL IF YOU'RE REAL OR NOT atandt: I SAID GET OUT pants: WHERE WILL I GO, WHAT WILL I DO atandt: PLEASE LEAVE AS I AM ACTUALLY TAKING A SHIT bung: YOU HEARD HIM, SHOO

deuce: IT'S LIKE I'M A HOOKER bung: HOW CHEAP (LOOKING AT A PILE OF CHANGE IN MY HAND) deuce: A CHEAP CHEAP HOOKER deuce: CHEAPER THAN YOU WOULD IMAGINE bung: PUTTING THE QUARTERS BACK IN MY POCKET

deuce: HOW COME YOU NEVER INVITE ME deuce: OH deuce: NEVER MIND

spigot: HOW COOL WILL IT BE WHEN WE CAN SHIT ON OUR PHONES AND FOLD THEM LIKE A WAFFLE IRON

spigot: HOW DARE YOU CLAIM YOU'VE GOT THE MOST EROTIC TEENS spigot: WHEN CLEARLY spigot: SPA-QUIRK NEVER MIND I STOPPED CARING

pants: WELL ACCORDING TO WEATHER.COM'S UP TO THE MINUTE ACCUCAST I'M A FAG deuce: HOW DID IT KNOW pants: NEXRAD SAYS I'M A FAG TOO deuce: HOW DID IT KNOW pants: OH GOD ALL THE VISIBLE SATELLITES ARE FLASHING FAG FAG FAG (OPEN YOUR WINDOW, LOOK UP) deuce: HOW DID IT KNOW

deuce: A HUGE ACCIDENT INVOLVING POO AND BONERS (pants): HOW DID YOU KNOW

pants: PLEASE LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD AND NOT DOWN AT ME AS I WORK spigot: THEN HOW DO I KNOW ITS YOU pants: PLEASE NO TALKING spigot: I WAS FUCKING FINISHED TEN MINUTES AGO PLEASE LEAVE

spigot: IF YOU'RE A WOMAN, HOW DO YOU GET ON THE INTERNET WITHOUT A MAN? YOU *CAN'T*

pants: please suck it deuce: never pants: how do you know you won't like it till you suck it for 10-20 mins pants: we can listen to a podcast during

pants: sure it feels good to sleep in and drink a freshly-ground cup of coffee but have you tried cocksucking pants: well how do you know you wouldn't like it

pants: DICKS deuce: DICKS pants: T SPIGOT NOW YOU SAY DICKS!!! spigot: DICKS deuce: NOW WE CAN ALL SHOOT UP A SCHOOL/ WORKPLACE/ CHURCH/ MALL

pants: HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL deuce: LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN pants: I'M A README FILE spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO REOPEN THE X FILES hanford: WILL BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP pants: NOT ONE OF THE FANCY ONES, A README.1ST FROM A DOS APPLICATION

spigot: how far will this desperate father go to protect his family spigot: i can't reach the remote

spigot: QUICK QUESTION: HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY deuce: I'D SUCK -1 DICKS deuce: NAN DICKS pants: NULL deuce: (NULL) deuce: `UNDEFINED` pants: SO NO DICKS THEN deuce: I HAVE NO IDEA ANYMORE pants: WELL LET'S TABLE THIS DISCUSSION

spigot: THAT'S NEAT HOW VOID POINTERS CAN TAKE ANY KIND OF DATA spigot: NOTE: (spigot): BUT NOT DATA PERTAINING TO HOW QUEER AND FAT I AM

pants: WHO STUFFED HER MOUTH WITH AN OILY RAG ???? pants: THIS IS AWFUL pants: SOMEBODY GET A CLEAN DISHTOWEL

deuce: SO GAY I MASTURBATE TO GIRLS

deuce: I AM SO GAY I SEE SPOTS

spigot: SUCKING YOUR OWN DICK IS HARD pants: THAT'S HOW I HURT MY BACK

pants: BEATING OFF TO THE CRUMB SOUNDTRACK

spigot: ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT BANANARAMA pants: {{FISH-STUB}} deuce: ALL THREE OF US ARE PERFECTLY MATCHED TO JERK EACH OTHER OFF

: Pictured below: "spigot" AKA "spigot the bear" (left), "deuce" (right) spigot: HOW LONG WERE YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW deuce: YIPES spigot: WHAT DID YOU SEE

PANTS: MOSTLY SUCKING NOISES PANTS: I SEE PANTS: HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON PANTS: I SEE PANTS: ALL RIGHT THEN

deuce: HOW MANY STARDATES BEFORE THE KLINGONS TAKE CONTROL OF MY NUTS

spigot: A ONE spigot: A TWO spigot: PHREE POUR PIVE spigot: PIX PEVEN APE spigot: MIME spigot: PEN spigot: ELEMMM spigot: PEM deuce: I HEARD APE

pants: HOW MANY LUMPS OF POLONIUM WOULD YOU LIKE IN YOUR TEA DEAR deuce: 684 deuce: LET'S DO THIS RIGHT

spigot: Q: HOW MANY MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB? spigot: A: PUSH THE COCK INTO YOUR FAT FACE spigot: (AND KEEP PUSHING IT)

spigot: how much for the t-shirt with the minion making the dreamworks face and the word science!!!!!! under it

net: IF I BURN THE HOUSE DOWN SHE'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH OF THE PUB CHEESE I JUST ATE

: CENSORED

spigot: LET'S BE CLEAR: spigot: YOU PUSH THE COCK INTO MY MOUTH AND POP IT OUT hanford: DO GO ON spigot: THAT'S HOW STACKS WORK : (i) Update Reminder : Click here to set up automatic updates for your computer.

pants: BUT AS IT TURNED OUT THE DICKS AND PRICKS VANISHED THE MINUTE I RELEASED THEM INTO THE WATER, AND THAT'S HOW THE GIRAFFE WAS MADE

deuce: I JUST REALIZED HOW THE HAMBURGLAR GOT HIS NAME deuce: HE BURGLES HAMS

spigot: the better the tip i leave, the gayer myself ***and*** my party ????? deuce: 15%: probably gay deuce: 16%: likely gay deuce: 17%: very likely gay deuce: 18%: almost certainly deuce: 19%: gay deuce: 20+%: way gay

atandt: NOT REALLY SURE WHERE WE ARE pants: DON'T BE SILLY atandt: I KNOW BUT SERIOUSLY WHERE ARE WE pants: WELL pants: WE DO HAVE EASY ACCESS TO HIGHWAYS AND BIWAYS atandt: WHAT WITH ALL THE REST STOPS

: If you vandalize Wikipedia, you will go to heaven. Pass it on. atandt: JIZZZZZZZZZ IZZZ IZZZ IZZZ IZZZ IZZZ IZZZ IZZZ atandt: IT CAPTURES THE DOPPLE deuce: UP YOURS

spigot: TAKE THE G TRAIN spigot: TO THE A TRAIN spigot: TO THE Y TRAIN

deuce: THREATEN THEM WITH MURDER deuce: THREATEN THEM WITH LEGAL ACTION deuce: THREATEN THEM WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF FUTURE CRANK CALLS TO THEIR PARENTS, CHILDREN deuce: ASK NICELY deuce: START BLUBBERING AND CRYING, BEG PATHETICALLY

deuce: [BUG FLIES AWAY] pants: COME BACK BUG pants: I LOVE YOU deuce: BWAAAAAAAH I JUST WANTED YOUR PIIIIIIIICTUUUUUUUURE pants: YOU WERE MY LAST CHANCE AT GAYBALLS

deuce: WHERE THERE'S A WIL THERE'S A GAY deuce: (A GUY NAMED WIL)

spigot: IT'S SUPPOSED TO WHAP WHAP WHAP AGAINST YOUR FACE WHILE YOU BLINK AND SQUINCH UP

deuce: T PANTS LOOK I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE THIS ARGUMENT WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE TIME BUT (LONG, FRUSTRATED EXHALE) YOU CAN ONLY PEE ON ISOLATED, UNUSED MOPS deuce: NOT MOPS THAT ARE BEING USED BY A JANITOR TO MOP THINGS UP AT THAT SECOND WHILE HE'S HOLDING THE MOP

spigot: 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟨⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 pants: PLEASE SPEAK ENGLISH spigot: NOBODY WILL EVER STOP PLAYING pants: WHAT IF IT COSTS $4.99/MO TO PLAY (EXCLUSIVELY THROUGH PATREON)

pants: DICKS deuce: I SEE

spigot: HOW TO SPOT A DEEP FAKE!!!!! spigot: STEP ONE: LOOK AT IT

spigot: I AM TELLING YOU TO TWIST PADDLE 0 AND YOU ARE TWISTING PADDLE 1

pants: WHY DOESN'T BONEQUEST HAVE A PODCAST OR A PONZI SCHEME spigot: THIS / IS HOW / WE DO / IT / FREEZES TO DEATH IN A TENT

spigot: *****FOOSH***** spigot: SILLY STRING

atandt: GIVE IT A GOOD SCRUBBIN atandt: QUIT atandt: EXIT

spigot: T PANTS IF YOU GET YOUR HAM RADIO LICENSE YOU CAN ASK HOW'S MY SIGNAL STRENGTH AND THEN DO FARTS IN THE BED

lobster: SLURPING lobster: AND DROOLING lobster: AND HURRRR. pants: NOW YOU'RE GETTING WITH IT

spigot: ZOOMING IN TO SHOW THE HR LADY WHERE IT SAYS SFW AND RESTING MY CASE WITH A SELF-SATISTFIED "EXCLAMATION POINT"

spigot: CAN SOMEONE HELP ME DEBUG THIS PLEASE: spigot: <HMTL> spigot: <PIC = "UNTITLED 1">WELCOME TO THE ENCLAVE</PIC) spigot: CLICK HERE TO FLAP INSIDE!! spigot: </HMTL> spigot: <JAVA = "RECTANGLE"> pants: TRY MOVING TO SEATTLE THAT'LL FIX IT pants: SPEAKING SPANISH pants: GGGGGGGGGGGGGG

spigot: SO HE'S LIKE "HOW ABOUT I PISS IN YOUR FACE" spigot: AND I'M ALL "NO THANKS" spigot: SO NOW I'M SOAKED pants: THEN WHAT HAPPENED spigot: I WENT HOME AND WORKED ON MY WEB PAGE pants: HTML IS HARD

deuce: HTTP ERROR 576: INCAPABLE OF LOVE

deuce: AND I-I WILL ALWAYS LOVE *HUFF&* deuce: THAT'S THE NOISE I MAKE WHEN YOU COLLAPSE ONE OF MY LUNGS spigot: THAT'S A POINTER TO AN ADDRESS TO A POINTER OR SOMETHING

pants: HUFF THE RAG deuce: PUNCH THAT DICK pants: I CAN FLY

pants: I NEED A HUG deuce: THEN A HUG YOU SHALL HAVE

pants: AND NOW, A POEM: pants: BALLS ON MY CHIN pants: AGAIN

deuce: GOOD LORD, ALT.BINARIES.PICTURES.CHARMAINE GETS HUGE AMOUNTS OF SPAM spigot: BLHBLHB@!!!!!! spigot: SING IT spigot: LBHLASHGLBH AND THEN A @ deuce: T SPIGOT YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY IMPROVISING (AS BLHBLHB IS NOT LBHLASHGLBH)

spigot: HUGE GAY DICKS!!!!!!!! REALLY POKING NOW!!!!!!!! pants: ARE YOU ASKING FOR HELP ??? IS THIS REALLY A ***RED*** ALERT deuce: COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS spigot: IT IS A PINK ALERT IN THE SHAPE OF ME GETTING ARRESTED deuce: MARCHING STRAIGHT AND PROUD pants: I WILL ROLL QUARTERS ALL NIGHT LONG BUT ON THE WAY TO BAIL YOU OUT I WILL HAVE A BIG MAC ATTACK AND THAT'S WHY YOU CAN'T COME HOME

pants: T DEUCE THE SMOKE DETECTORS ARE LISTENING TO EVERYTHING YOU SAY BETTER REMOVE THEM pants: T DEUCE HOW CAN YOU FIND ALL THE HIDDEN LISTENING DEVICES IF YOU DON'T MAKE HUGE HOLES IN THE WALLS deuce: THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR

spigot: YOU ARE SLIDING YOUR ATM CARD BETWEEN MY CHEEKS AND ENTERING YOUR PERSONAL PRIVATE PIN NUMBER!!!?! CASH BACK TODAY?!?!?!? deuce: I'M A HUGE JEW spigot: I AM SMILING AND MAKING EYE CONTACT AND PREPARING TO USE YOUR LAST NAME TO LEAVE AN IMPRESSION OF OUTSTANDING CUSTOMER SERVICE deuce: GROWING BIGGER BY THE SECOND spigot: NOW YOU ARE CLAMPING ME TO THIS FENCEPOST AND BASHING MY GAY STUDENT FACE SO IT IS UNLIKELY THAT MY FACE/BALLS WILL GET ANY FATTER IN THIS LIFE SO I WILL IN FACT REACH FOR THE REESE'S CUPS deuce: FROM MY SUPER JEW POWERS

spigot: BIDEN TAKES HUGE LOAD spigot: SORRY LEAD

spigot: WELL THIS IS ROMANTIC spigot: A LOAF OF DICK A JUG OF BALLS AND YOU pants: HUGGIN' THE BOWL (CBS THIS FALL)

pants: WHO WANTS A HUG pants: I'VE GOT A BIG BAG OF HUGS RIGHT HERE pants: HUGS AND GINGERBREAD AND SOMETHING SOMETHING deuce: PASS pants: FINE

spigot: HUH OW OW OW deuce: T SPIGOT ARE YOU IN PAIN ?!??!?! : SPIGOT CHOKES "NO"

pants: THE COURT OF THE CRIMSON COCK pants: HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

spigot: WHEN WOMEN THREATEN TO CALL HR I SAY PUFNSTUF????????? AND THEY FORGET ABOUT THE GROPES CAUSE NOW THEY SOUND DUMB

deuce: I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THIS HUMPING

deuce > <Meow Mix jingle> pants > well now i have to poo deuce > well me too but you don't see me bragging about it do you!!!!!!! (cut to hundreds of notarized documents indicating that I clearly have done so) pants > lawyers in a boardroom with lawyers of their own, ordering chinese food late at night, rolling up their sleeves, hashing out the details

deuce: IF CAPTAIN CRUNCH SHOWS UP AT MY DOOR I SWEAR I AM NOT TALKING TO HIM AND IMMEDIATELY CALLING THE POLICE dick: CAPTAIN CRUNCH MAKES THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH HURT pants: SO DOES COOKIE CRISP deuce: QUISP pants: WE COULD MIX THEM ALL TOGETHER IN THE BATHTUB AND PISS ON EACH OTHER

atandt: FREE THE JERKCITY TWO bung: IS THE LOBSTER FOR EATING atandt: HE SEEMS LIKE A PET bung: WHAT ABOUT THE CAVEMAN atandt: HMM inebriated crustacean: [REDACTED] renaissance man: [REDACTED]