BONEQUEST

EPISODES: A-Z

No. Date   Title / Dialog Players Tags
1,485 10/23/2002 -24 (garbled) 1992 lowercase r dot
spigot: !1239048 spigot: IOASHDF90234T\\HGU90BFSD spigot: WHORES
spigot
#aids
#august
#lowercase
#nonstandard-title-panel
#russian
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
6,460 10/25/2016 :duck:
deuce: THERE'S NO FUCKING EMOJI FOR DUCKS
deuce
#conspiracy-duck
#deuce-solo
#emoji
#urinal-background
7,974 1/17/2021 "it"
deuce: FOLKS I PUT THE "IT" IN "SHIT"
deuce
#deuce-solo
#folks
#it
#orange-background
#segway
#shit
#single-panel
2,229 12/5/2004 (chorus) my favorite bonghit is bonghit number uh
pants: THE SONG GOES: pants: BONGHIT NUMBER ONE / BONGHIT NUMBER TWO pants: BONGHIT NUMBER THREE / BONGHIT NUMBER UH
pants
#bonghit
#marijuana
#original-song
#pants-solo
#singing
#woodring-room-background
2,880 9/16/2006 (fuck or fight) or (fistfuck and strangle)
pants: ENDLESSLY GRABASSING ESCHER STYLE pants: THEY SAID, "COME ON DOWN, HAVE SEX WITH AS MANY CANE TOADS AS YOU WANT," atandt: I THINK THEY WERE SERIOUS pants: THE FIGHT OR FUCK REFLEX atandt: UNCALLED FOR pants: OR WAS IT FISTFUCK AND STRANGLE pants: DO YOU KNOW atandt: WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#cane-toads
#fighting-irish-pose
#fourth-wall
#fourth-wall-pants
#huffy-pants
#mc-escher
#mountain-background
#toad
1,487 10/25/2002 (long black smear)
atandt: THANKS FOR THE HAND ME DOWN FLASHBACK YOU TALENTLESS FAT FUCK pants: NOT THIS AGAIN atandt: THANKS FOR THE HAND ME DOWN FLASHBACK YOU TALENTLESS FAT FUCK pants: STUCK IN A LOOP HUH atandt: THANKS FOR THE HAND ME DOWN FLASHBACK YOU TALENTLESS FAT FUCK pants: I'D SUCK YOUR DICK BUT I'D RATHER TAKE YOUR WALLET OH HELL LHBAGLUHLBAG
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#deja-vu
#fighting-irish-pose
#flashback
#huffy-pants
#mousehole
#nonstandard-title-panel
#repetition
#talentless-fat-fuck
#woodring-room-background
1,488 10/26/2002 (series of faces)
spigot: DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I'M PROUD TO LICK DICK atandt: THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID WHEN YOUR WIFE WAS AROUND spigot: FUCKING WAVE THE STRIPES AND STARS atandt: THAT CERTAINLY ISN'T WHAT YOU SAID IN THE ALLEY spigot: IT TAKES TWO TO LICK DICK (RUNNING OUT OF STEAM) atandt: "GANGS OF NEW YORK" OPENING DECEMBER 25 !!! DRINK PEPSI
atandt
spigot
#atandt-spigot
#christmas
#december
#dicklicking
#gangs-of-new-york
#nonstandard-title-panel
#pepsi
#pride
#woodring-field-background
5,091 12/22/2012 [4~
deuce: I HEAR YOU deuce: XCVZ47\ODDA deuce: [4~GODDAMMIT.
deuce
#deuce-solo
#yellow-background
5,368 9/26/2013 {{{{
spigot: NEED A J/O BUDDY DURING MY NE[obscured] PORTLAND, OREGON spigot: HHH STEAM NOISES
spigot
#abstract
#oregon
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,628 2/7/2020 @!#?@!
spigot: i'll bet at chevron q*bert pumps gas with his mouth and then pulls out and sprays gas all over the car
spigot
#car
#chevron
#gas
#lowercase
#nonstandard-title-panel
#qbert
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#video-games
#woodring-stairs-background
6,222 2/25/2016 *)y&8888888888
pants: MINK IS EDDIE DANE'S BOY
pants
#millers-crossing
#nuggh
#pants-solo
#urinal-background
8,300 12/8/2021 ***all***
spigot: YOU DON'T HAVE TOLICK ****ALL****THE DICKS !!!!!! spigot: JUST THE ONESYOU WANT TO****LICK**** spigot: ALL OF THEM
spigot
#dicklicking
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,786 7/13/2020 ***people***
spigot: I MISS ACTUALLYHANGING OUT WITH****PEOPLE**** SAID ONLY FAGS
spigot
#asterisks
#covid-19
#fags
#social-distancing
#spigot-solo
#woodring-den-background
6,434 9/29/2016 *foomp* flour sack explodes
pants: YOU'VE REALLY MESSED UP EVERYTHING JEAN-CHARLES pants: SUCKIN' IT deuce: SUCK IT _WITH FEELING_ THIS TIME pants: ARE WE GOING DOWN TO POUND TOWN deuce: WE'RE GONNA BUNNY THIS BONNET pants: FUCK YEAH WE ARE deuce: TRIP THIS FANNY dick: POLLY WOLLY DOODLE IN MY FACE deuce: LET'S MAKE THIS CANDLE pants: SOUND OFF deuce: SKEDADDLE pants: YOU OLD KNICKERBOCKER
deuce
dick
pants
#deuce-dick-pants
#deucegrin
#foomph
#huffy-pants
#jean-charles
#urinal-background
#weird-pants-face
6,035 8/8/2015 *plonk* whoops
atandt: *PLONK* atandt: WHOOPS atandt: HARD TO KEEP MY BALLS IN THIS CUP deuce: CONCUR
atandt
deuce
#atandt-deuce
#balls
#physical-comedy
#plonk
#stage-magic
#woodring-stairs-background
2,377 5/2/2005 /dev/null
atandt: THE MISSIONARY POSITION ozone: ON AND ON ABOUT "LOWERING HIM INTO /DEV/NULL AND NOT LETTING GO THIS TIME" atandt: EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT hanford: FANBOY SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE FUNBOY hanford: ARE YOU SURE THIS IS LEGAL atandt: JEFFREY!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU JEFFREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
atandt
hanford
ozone
#atandt-hanford-ozone
#fighting-irish-pose
#green-background
#jeffrey-dahmer
#punctuation
#unix
2,692 3/13/2006 +bites +clamps
pants: THE BONG LOOKS SAD ozone: DOES IT BITE pants: BITES AND CLAMPS ozone: THAT CAN'T BE GOOD FOR BUSINESS pants: NO MORE MUTANTS
ozone
pants
#bites-and-clamps
#bong
#mousehole
#mutant-registration
#ozone-pants
#title-mismatch
#woodring-room-background
4,583 6/29/2011 $1.40
deuce: ALL THE NICKELS YOU CAN SWALLOW pants: TWENTY-EIGHT NICKELS, THEN
deuce
pants
#coinage
#deuce-pants
#money
#nickels
#white-background
8,035 3/19/2021 1 2 3
spigot: ON THE COUNT OF THREE EVERYBODY LICK MY DICK spigot: ONE spigot: HANG ON I CAN'T GET IT UP spigot: FUCK THIS
spigot
#counting
#dicklicking
#erectile-dysfunction
#feet-above-floor
#filler-panel
#impotence
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
7,746 6/3/2020 1 newborn baby
deuce: HUHHHHHHHHH 1 BACON ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER + 1 LG. CURLY FRIES = 1 NEWBORN BABY
deuce
#deuce-solo
#fatness
#jack-in-the-box
#poo
#porn
#sienna-background
1,345 6/7/2002 1-186 not covered
deuce: 187 - HOMICIDE pants: 188 - HOMOS IN THE TOILETS AGAIN (GET THE HOSE, THE HOMO HOSE THIS TIME) spigot: $1.89 - SEEDLESS GRAPES
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#list
#police-codes
7,619 1/29/2020 1,000 popes
spigot: if i had two popes i'd probably leave one at work just to have it there pants: and I hope the popes are represented by people of color who are also queer or trans allies spigot: or leave one in the car pants: hope rhymes with pope spigot: can we make it three popes pants: anime with gay
pants
spigot
#anime
#gay
#k-mart
#pants-spigot
#poc
#pope
#spigot-points
#the-two-popes
#title-mismatch
#woodring-stairs-background
7,137 10/5/2018 10,000 dicks
spigot: t deuce would a "fag" do this: (sucks ten thousand dicks, gets aids)
spigot
#aids
#cocksucking
#deuce-spigot
#not-gay
#single-panel
#somber-deuce
#woodring-room-background
210 5/4/1999 10:18 pm
atandt: HELLO FAGGOTS atandt: IT'S TIME FOR THE ATANDT SHOW deuce: BEGIN atandt: <SFX: SOUND OF PANTS DROPPING> atandt: THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING atandt: <SFX: CLAPPING> deuce: THIS PLAY SUCKS atandt: T DEUCE THIS IS NO PLAY THIS IS TRUE LIFE TV deuce: THIS PLAY SUCKS
atandt
deuce
#minecraft-background
6,955 3/30/2018 10:34
spigot: KCBS BEATOFF TIME IS 10:34
spigot
#beatoff
#broadcast
#ecu
#high-res
#masturbation
#negativland
#neon-grid-background
#radio
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
367 10/4/1999 100,000 pyramid
spigot: UH spigot: UH spigot: THINGS THAT ARE BLUE spigot: THINGS YOU SUCK ON spigot: UH spigot: THINGS YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH spigot: PASS deuce: THINGS THAT CHOKE YOU AND TURN YOU BLUE deuce: THINGS THAT FORCE YOU TO SUCK THEM AFTER YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUS spigot: I SAID I WOULD PASS spigot: YOU'RE COSTING ME THE ENTIRE $100,000 PYRAMID
deuce
spigot
#mountain-background
6,097 10/9/2015 100% of 100%
pants: WARM AND DRY pants: I'M THE BEST AT WHAT I DO pants: WHAT I DO ISN'T VERY SANITARY
pants
#100-percent
#pants-solo
#red-background
#title-mismatch
7,157 10/25/2018 150 years
spigot: we knew about black dongs and z-shaped dongs spigot: but 150 years had to elapse before stephen hawking understood black, z-shaped dongs deuce: then black, Z-shaped dong radiation deuce: and finally with the help of Bekenstein black, Z-shaped dong entropy spigot: i had to look up the dates of their respective tenures spigot: cause i was going to say it took 10,000 years deuce: don't be silly that's longer than the age of the Earth spigot: or as popeye would say .. the age of the oith
deuce
spigot
#astrophysics
#creationism
#deuce-spigot
#dongs
#hospital-background
#jacob-bekenstein
#popeye
#spigot-points
#stephen-hawking
5,355 9/13/2013 18 or abused
spigot: WELL THEN EITHER YOU'RE 18 OR ABUSED spigot: WHERE'S MY I SURVIVED A RODNEY BLAST T-SHIRT
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#porn
#woodring-room-background
3,389 2/12/2008 1976
: Deuce (left), Spigot (right) deuce: 1976 deuce: THAT'S A YEAR AS WELL AS A NUMBER spigot: I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT
deuce
spigot
#caption
#deuce-spigot
#frog
#grapes
#photo-background
#sfw
#spurty-frog
#stage-directions
#uncategorized-mosaic-background
7,979 1/22/2021 1984
pants: SUCKED A DICK pants: ORWELLIAN STUFF
pants
#cocksucking
#orwell
#pants-solo
#starbucks-background
#weird-pants-face
1,117 10/22/2001 1997
pants: SOMEBODY TURN THE RECORD OVER IT'S JUST GOING HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS SKIP HISS CLICK THANK YOU
pants
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
7,097 8/26/2018 1up sound
deuce: hi I'm pants from BoneQuest deuce: wanna learn how to lick dick??? (1up sound) deuce: then Dig Dug sounds for 45 minutes
deuce
#bonequest-hi-fi
#character-mismatch
#deuce-solo
#dicklicking
#dig-dug
#drunk-deuce
#nuff-said
#video-games
#woodring-stairs-background
4,655 9/9/2011 2 3 7
deuce: JERKCITY TWO THREE SEVEN, DESCEND TO FLIGHT LEVEL ONE SIX HUNDRED, EXPEDITE deuce: RECIPROCAL TRAFFIC, I REPEAT, DESCEND TO FLIGHT LEVEL ONE SIX HUNDRED, EXPEDITE deuce: JERKCITY TWO THREE SEVEN, PLEASE RESPOND deuce: JERKCITY TWO THREE SEVEN, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL deuce: [MUFFLED] I THINK WE LOST THEM
deuce
#atc
#deuce-solo
#radio
7,396 6/20/2019 2 big 2 fail
deuce: my dong is too big to fail deuce: not because it's actually big (it's tiny) but because so many investors have put so much money sflksf h4t kherf dfslkfse rfsdfoijhs f4tr9084fg sfdkg skldfsjefsdf
deuce
#deuce
#deuce-solo
#dong
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#financial-industry
#woodring-room-background
234 5/27/1999 2 mins
atandt: OKAY I DON'T GET THE NEW BONEQUEST AT ALL spigot: NOT LOOKING YET atandt: GIVE ME 2 MINS deuce: YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS AND THEN I CALL THE COPS
atandt
deuce
spigot
#woodring-room-background
7,802 7/29/2020 2 wishes left
pants: FARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: NEVER pants: I WANT TO DIE deuce: I DO NOT WANT YOU TO DIE pants: YOU HAVE 2 WISHES LEFT deuce: FUCK
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#farts
#genie
#jean-charles
#trick
#wishes
#woodring-stairs-background
2,981 12/31/2006 200 years of jerkcity
spigot: ARE YOU THERE GOD?!?!?!? spigot: IT'S ME SPIGOT deuce: ZZZZZ spigot: CELEBRATING 200 YEARS OF JERKCITY
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#judy-blume
#sfw
#sleep
#title-mismatch
#woodring-stairs-background
2,510 9/12/2005 2020
deuce: BY 2020 TOUCHING OTHER PEOPLE WILL BE A DEATH SENTENCE spigot: THEN BY GOD I'M GOING TO JERK OFF
deuce
spigot
#covid-19
#deuce-spigot
#eerie-predictions
#masturbation
#mousehole
#social-distancing
2,930 11/8/2006 2039
pants: DO YOU THINK BRITNEY AND K-FED WILL GET BACK TOGETHER atandt: DON'T THEY KNOW JERKCITY ISN'T DUE TO END UNTIL 2039 pants: I THOUGHT WE WERE STOPING ON JANUARY 19 2038 atandt: THE DATE KEEPS GETTING MOVED INTO THE FUTURE SOMEHOW pants: LET MY PEOPLE GO atandt: DOWN IN FRONT
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#bible
#britney-spears
#end-of-bonequest
#fighting-irish-pose
#huffy-pants
#january
#sfw
#tribble
#woodring-field-background
6,257 3/31/2016 21918.1457401762.f0b44dd0310152b1d85188330803b17f
pants
#behind-the-scenes
#macintosh
#osx
#python
#title-mismatch
3,453 4/16/2008 2fiab
deuce: TWO FAGS IN A BLANKET spigot: THURSDAYS pants: ON UPN 44 (CABLE CHANNEL 12)
deuce
pants
spigot
#blankets
#deuce-pants-spigot
#television
#thursday
#woodring-stairs-background
8,072 4/25/2021 3-point turn
spigot: GOTTA BACK IN WITH A 3-POINT TURN AND PARALLEL PARK MY SPLATTERY SPLURTS spigot: BEEP spigot: BEEP spigot: BEEP
spigot
#beep
#die-trying
#filler-panel
#grey-background
#sfw
#sfx
#spigot-solo
#toilet
3,000 1/19/2007 3,000
spigot: HALUGHULAHGLUAHG pants: GHLAUHGULH deuce: EVERYBODY SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO MASTURBATE pants: WHEN IS BONEQUEST GOING TO END ANYWAY hanford: UH hanford: JULY 2026 pants: CAN I GO HOME AFTER THAT hanford: SURE pants: I'M TOTALLY GOING TO BEAT OFF WHEN THAT HAPPENS
deuce
hanford
pants
spigot
#anniversary
#woodring-field-background
2,968 12/18/2006 322c3220 3 PERFECT 2c3239 3000
deuce: WE SHOULD FIND SOME WAY TO HOOK YOU UP TO A GENERATOR AND HARNESS YOUR COCKSUCKING ENERGY deuce: YOU DON'T DEFY THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS BUT YOU COME AWFULLY CLOSE deuce: A NEAR 100% PERFECT COCKSUCKER pants: TELL MOM ABOUT FIRE
deuce
pants
#100-percent
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#energy-crisis
#science
#woodring-field-background
8,009 2/21/2021 33 1/3
bung: LETS ALL PUT 45 RMP RECORDSON OUR DICKS AND SHOOTSOME ALBUM COVERS!!!! spigot: I CAN'TGET IT UP spigot: PLUS I'M OPERATINGAT 33 RPM bung: 33 1/3 spigot: YES BUT ISPELLED RPMRIGHT
bung
spigot
#bung-spigot
#dicks
#erectile-dysfunction
#mountain-background
#music
#spelling
#vinyl
8,089 5/12/2021 3some
pants: MY WIFE AND I NOTICED YOU FROM ACROSS THE BAR spigot: COULD WE GETSOME MOREBREADSTICKS PLEASE
pants
spigot
#bar
#bread
#coy-pants
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#single-panel
#threesome
#urinal-background
#wife
842 1/14/2001 4:20
spigot: I JUST TAPE THE CONTROL KEY DOWN AND EVERY MENU IS CONTEXTUAL !!! I'M A WOMAN pants: WHAT ABOUT THE OPEN-APPLE KEY
pants
spigot
#context
#keyboard
#macintosh
#marijuana
#open-apple
#pants-spigot
#women
#woodring-field-background
2,734 4/25/2006 40 miles to the opposite rim
atandt: CHILDREN UNDER AGE 7 MUST BE ACCOMPANIED BY AN ADULT ozone: EACH ONE IS ABLE TO SUPPORT MORE THAN 13 TONS deuce: AND YOU CAN SEE HOW BIG IT REALLY IS deuce: AND TOGETHER STRETCH FOR ALMOST 1/4 MILE atandt: 2.5 TIMES MORE THAN MOUNT EVEREST (THE HIGHEST POINT ON EARTH) ozone: THIS SUPER-IMPOSED OUTLINE OF THE UNITED STATES ozone: WILL GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF ITS SIZE atandt: IT'S 370 MILES WIDE AT THE BASE deuce: AND OVER 100 FEET IN LENGTH ozone: AND OVER 75,000 FEET AT THE TOP atandt: BUT THAT'S 40 MILES TO THE OPPOSITE RIM ozone: AND THAT FIGURE INCREASES EACH YEAR atandt: 23 FEET IN HEIGHT atandt: 23 FEET IN HEIGHT deuce: AND YOU CAN SEE HOW BIG IT REALLY IS atandt: 23 FEET IN HEIGHT ozone: HANDSOME FUNCTIONAL DESIGN ozone: HAS BEEN COMBINED ozone: WITH TRADITIONAL BEAUTY AND ELEGANCE deuce: AND YOU CAN SEE HOW BIG IT REALLY IS atandt: AND THAT FIGURE INCREASES EACH YEAR atandt: AANNDD TTHHAATT FFIIGGUURREE IINNCCRREEAASSEESS EEAACCHH YYEEAARR deuce: RUGGED, EASY-TO-CLEAN PLASTIC LAMINATES deuce: ARE USED ON ALL THE deuce: COUNTER, CABINET AND WALL SURFACES ozone: THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS THE FLOORS THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING ozone: THE FLOORS ON WHICH YOU ARE WALKING
atandt
deuce
ozone
#balls
#dj-rapekit
#drunk-deuce
#overlong
#remix
#repetition
#somber-deuce
#title-mismatch
#url
#woodring-stairs-background
8,493 6/19/2022 49ers playoffs
pants: I AM WATCHING THE BIRTH OF THE UNIVERSE, THE DEATH OF OUR SUN AND SPORTS pants: I SEE EVENTS SO TINY AND SO QUICK THAT THEY CAN SCARCELY BE DESCRIBED AS HAVING EXISTED AND ALSO SPORTS pants: MAKING MY OWN LIFE IN A DISTANT GALAXY SO I MAY OBSERVE MICROBES EVOLVE INTO HIGHER LIFE FORMS TO HAVE 11 PLAYERS ON THE FIELD AT ONCE pants: WATCHING THE POCKET COLLAPSE AS THE QUARTERBACK IS SACKED pants: POUNDED INTO THE GROUND deuce: YOU ARE DOING FINE SIR
#49ers
#deuce-pants
#football
#mountain-background
#sfw
#watchmen
494 2/2/2000 4AM bonghit
spigot: TIME FROM MY 4AM BONGHIT deuce: BEER ME !!!!!!!!! GLAHAHGLAHAGUBUABUB spigot: WHOOPS !!!!!!!! MY ASHTRAY JUST GOT EMPTIED RIGHT OUT ONTO THE SIDEWALK TWENTY FEET BELOW ME spigot: I'D BETTER CLOSE THAT WINDOW !!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: OOPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BEER BOTTLES ???????????????? deuce: IT'S REALLY 4AM ISN'T IT spigot: SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HGGHUGLHGUGHUGULGHL deuce: OBVIOUSLY WE THREE ARE UNLOVED spigot: WE THREE KINGS spigot: WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN deuce: IN CORPUS SUCKUM
deuce
pants
spigot
#ashtray
#beer
#bonghit
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#laughing-deuce
#marijuana
#woodring-room-background
929 4/11/2001 5:05 showing
atandt: I AM GOING TO SEE THE 5:05 SHOWING OF HOLLOW MAN BECAUSE I THINK IT WOULD BE COOL TO RAPE A GIRL WHILST INVISIBLE
atandt
#atandt-solo
#kevin-bacon
#rape
#woodring-room-background
5,330 8/19/2013 500
deuce: TIPPECANOE AND TYLER TOO pants: I LIKE IKE AND DICK
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dick
#ike
#nixon
#photo-background
#politics
#spigot-pins
6,814 11/10/2017 729
: Left: "pants" (angry) : Right: "deuce" (angry) pants: OH FUCK IT AHUGLAHGLUAHGLUAHG LUAHGLUAHGLAHGLA HGLAHGLAHGLAHGL (NINE TIMES NINE TIMES NINE) deuce: MATH IS HARD deuce: (SO AM I)
deuce
pants
#boner
#caption
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#fat
#huffy-pants
#math
#stage-directions
#woodring-stairs-background
4,452 1/28/2011 73's to ya
spigot: NORA ALPHA MOONSHINE WHISKEY METHAMPHETAMINE HUSTLER spigot: 73'S TO YA!!!!!! spigot: HOLPTH GURF MY TEETH FELL OUT
spigot
#alcohol
#bonequest-hd
#drugs
#ham-radio
#hustler
#mouse-cursor
#radio
#spigot-solo
1,964 2/17/2004 7t fffffffffffffffffffffffff
pants: WELL I WAS EXPECTING CANDY pants: INSTEAD I GET BLOOD AND GUTS AND HAIR AND WELL JUST GUNK pants: EATING YOU ANYWAY HUALGHALBGLUAGHBLSO 8DBLUG AUGOAB ATYGD9D }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} GOD FUCKING DAMN SHIT
pants
#candy
#food
#god-fucking-damn-shit
#pants-solo
#punctuation
#woodring-room-background
2,978 12/28/2006 8 boxes to my face
spigot: APPRECIATING THAT POPTARTS ARE 8 TO A BOX spigot: AND EIGHT BOXES TO MY FACE spigot: ALL MY JOKES ARE AVAILABLE ON CASSETTE
spigot
#comedy
#poptarts
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,084 5/7/2021 850 line function
pants: HI I'M AN 850 LINE FUNCTION THAT DOES A LOT OF THINGS BUT NONE OF THEM WELL spigot: COM PU TOR
pants
spigot
#computer
#line-noise
#modem
#no-carrier
#pants-spigot
#programming
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-den-background
4,840 3/26/2012 9'k9.
spigot: GONNA LIVE BLOG ME BEATING OFF spigot: L/ spigot: ; spigot: 9'K9. spigot: =-]-K
spigot
#blog
#masturbation
#spigot-solo
8,497 6/23/2022 900
pants: 900 DICKS deuce: LET'S CALL IT AN EVEN 1000 TO ACCOUNT FOR SPILLAGE
#accounting
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#purple-background
6,210 2/9/2016 900 dicks
pants: REM COPYRIGHT (C) 2016 JERKCITY pants: 900 DICKS pants: 1000 GOTO 900
pants
#basic
#bonequest-hi-fi
#pants-solo
#woodring-field-background
5,416 11/22/2013 90gu3w qj3wg
spigot: S9-23 spigot: 90GU3WQ]3WG spigot: HELP SMURSHING
spigot
#hi-fi
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,325 1/2/2022 99 bottles
spigot: 99 BOTTLES OF DICK IN MY MOUTH deuce: HA spigot: CAN YOU AT LEAST WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH THE JOKE BEFORE YOUR DUMB LAUGHTER spigot: 99 BOTTLES OF DICK spigot: YOU CHOKE THEM DOWN AND POKE EM AROUND spigot: 98 BOTTLES OF DICK IN MY MOUTH spigot: 98 BOTTLES OF DICK IN MY MOUTH spigot: 98 BOTTLES OF DICK spigot: YOU CH spigot: DECEASED
deuce
spigot
#death
#deuce-spigot
#dick
#joke
#laughing-deuce
#singing
#woodring-room-background
312 8/11/1999 999999
spigot: TO CALCULATE HOW MANY DICKS I'VE LICKED YOU'D NEED ONE OF THOSE HILARIOUS WEB PAGE COUNTERS THAT KEEPS SPINNING AND FLIPPING OUT OF CONTROL WITH THE NUMBERS APPEARING TO RACE UPWARD TO INFINITY BUT REALLY ONLY GETTING TO 999999 BEFORE RESETTING TO 000000 pants: AS THE PACMAN DOES NEAR THE ENDGAME spigot: I DON'T WATCH DOCTOR WHO YOU IDIOT
pants
spigot
#dr-who
#nonstandard-title-panel
#urinal-background
#video-games
6,147 11/30/2015 a 30 min documentary on the making of
spigot: T PANTS BY THE WAY I AM GIVING A 5-STAR REVIEW ON YELP FOR THE DEUCE TRIBUTE STRIP spigot: DO WE NEED A 30-MIN DOCUMENTARY ON THE MAKING OF deuce: KEEP ME OUT OF THIS HOMOSEXUAL GAYNESS
deuce
pants
spigot
#death-and-return-of-deuce
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#stray-dot
#tribute
#urinal-background
7,216 12/23/2018 a 5-biter
pants: i'm going to wear a tie and start eating it until my neck breaks pants: hompth hompth hompth hompth hompth criiiick pants: it's a 5-bite tie pants: i could do it in 4 but i don't want to seem thirsty
pants
#homph
#newmans-own
#pants-solo
#physical-comedy
#sfw
#tie
#woodring-stairs-background
4,523 4/20/2011 a b = b a
spigot: ICE CREAM CONE TITS (EVEN SHAPED LIKE A DOWNVOTE) deuce: T SPIGOT IF [A, B] = 0 THEN A B = B A spigot: SHOULD I /R/ASKSCIENCE WHAT KIND OF MATH THE DINOSAURS DID
deuce
spigot
#commutator
#compatible-observables
#deuce-spigot
#ice-cream
#math
#noncommutative-algebras
#reddit
#urinal-background
7,922 11/26/2020 a b g
spigot: A ALWAYS spigot: B BE spigot: G GOBBLING spigot: :TURKEY: ALWAYS BE GOBBLING
spigot
#acronym
#brown-background
#emoji
#glengarry-glen-ross
#sfw
#sienna-background
#spigot-solo
#thanksgiving
#turkey
6,489 11/25/2016 a baby changing station
spigot: IF I SEE A BABY CHANGING STATION IN ANY OF MY MEN'S ROOMS I'M GOING TO TAKE AIM AND SPLURK OR SPLORK OUT A SPLUTTERY SHIT WITH A LOT OF FANFARE deuce: HOW DO YOU AIM A SHIT deuce: IT JUST KIND OF FALLS/SPRAYS WHERE IT WANTS spigot: CHRIST JESUS YOU'VE HAD 40+ YEARS TO LEARN THOSE SECRETS
deuce
spigot
#christ-jesus
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#secrets
#shit
#targeted-shitting
#urinal-background
8,098 5/21/2021 a baby giraffe
spigot: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A GIRAFFE pants: IT’S A BABY GIRAFFE
pants
spigot
#animals
#giraffe
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#single-panel
#yellow-background
6,763 9/18/2017 a balanced breakfast
spigot: FOLKS YOU CAN'T JUST LICK DICK IN THE MORNING, YOU NEED A BALANCED BREAKFAST spigot: I'M ASKING YOU AS A PUBLIC FIGURE TO SHOEHORN YOUR DICKLICKING INTO THE EARLY AFTERNOON HOURS, OR EVEN THE AFTERNOON, MID-AFTERNOON, LATE AFTERNOON, EARLY EVENING, EVENING, TRADITIONAL NIGHT AND LATE-NIGHT HOURS spigot: COCKSUCKING JUST DO WHENEVS (THIS LEADS TO A CONVERSATION ABOUT TWILIGHT, DAWN AND DUSK)
spigot
#breakfast
#cocksucking
#dicklicking
#folks
#psa
#scheduling
#spigot-solo
#white-background
4,774 1/17/2012 a bear named spigot
: SPIGOT SIGHS : SPIGOT WAITS A BEAT : SPIGOT THROWS UP
spigot
#bonequest-hi-fi
#caption
#red-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#spigot-the-bear
#vomit
3,155 6/23/2007 a bear named spigot
spigot: LUHHHHHHHHHHH HUHHHHHHHHHH spigot: I'M A DUMB PISSFACE spigot: I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
spigot
#pissface
#spigot-points
#spigot-solo
#spigot-the-bear
#woodring-room-background
5,487 2/5/2014 a beautiful day in the neighborhood
deuce: T SPIGOT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD / A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR A NEIGHBOR spigot: WOULD YOU BE MINE spigot: WOULD YOU BE MINE spigot: ACTUALLY COULD YOU BE MINE spigot: I GUESS I NEVER FULLY PROCESSED 9/11
deuce
spigot
#9-11
#deuce-spigot
#mr-rogers
#singing
#white-background
7,355 5/10/2019 a beautiful haiku
pants: beating off into pants: a coffee can because pants: everything else is full
pants
#beating-off
#deja-vu
#haiku
#orange-background
#pants-solo
7,655 3/5/2020 a beautiful princess
deuce: I'm a beautiful princess deuce: GLHGLHGLGHHLGHLHGLHGHGHGH HORRIBLE ANTIBIOTIC DIARRHEA
deuce
#antibiotics
#deuce-solo
#diarrhea
#princess
#woodring-field-background
3,118 5/17/2007 a beautiful world
deuce: A BEAUTIFUL GAY WORLD pants: INDEED IT IS pants: DEAR LORD PLEASE TAKE MISTER BUNNY UP TO HEAVEN deuce: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH pants: BUNNY HEAVEN
deuce
pants
#bunny
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#simpsons
#woodring-field-background
8,074 4/27/2021 a big breakfast
spigot: THAT IS WHEN HE FINALLY ADMITTED THAT HE WAS AT THE LOCATION WHERE THE WOMAN HAD SPOTTED HIM, BUT SAID HE ONLY PULLED OUT HIS PENIS TO PLAY WITH IT AS PART OF THE DIGESTION PROCESS AFTER HAVING A BIG BREAKFAST. deuce: ISN'T THAT ALWAYS HOW IT WORKS spigot: IT'S NOT SEXUAL ASSAULT IF YOU SNEAK IN ONE KISS
deuce
spigot
#big-chungus
#current-events
#deuce-spigot
#mountain-background
#penis
#police
#sexual-assault
#somber-deuce
6,231 3/5/2016 a big can-do
pants: SLAM THE TOILET SEAT SHUT ON MY WANG deuce: THAT'S A BIG CAN-DO
deuce
pants
#can-do
#deuce-pants
#dong-slamming
#empty-auditorium-background
#genital-mutilation
#uncredited-character
#wang
4,269 7/26/2010 a big hat
spigot: I'M A COCKSUCKING COWBOY WITH A BIG HAT WHO NEEDS EXTRA ATTENTION AROUND THE DICK AND SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HTML
spigot
#big-hat
#brokeback-mountain
#cocksucking
#cowboy
#deja-vu
#dick
#haberdashery
#html
#spigot-solo
4,594 7/10/2011 a big joke
spigot: SERIOUS COCKS WAITING FOR ME IN THE STUDENT LOUNGE spigot: OKAY GUESS THE FLYER WAS A BIG JOKE spigot: GUESS I'LL TRUDGE ON OVER TO THE CAFE D'NUTS
spigot
#black-background
#cafe-d-nuts
#mouse-cursor
#spigot-solo
3,561 8/2/2008 a big man
pants: T DEUCE DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN WHEN YOU MAKE ME DRINK FROM THE TOILET pants: T DEUCE DOES IT deuce: T PANTS FRANKLY YES
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#toilet
#woodring-field-background
7,398 6/22/2019 a big metal box
pants: i have polio deuce: here's a big metal box to live in
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#hospital-background
#iron-lung
#polio
#sfw
#single-panel
609 5/26/2000 a big red snapper
spigot: I WENT ON A FISHING TRIP WITH FIVE GUYS AND CAME BACK WITH A BIG RED SNAPPER spigot: IT SAYS SO NEXT TO MY REFERENCES, HOME PHONE pants: I'M A FUCK PUPPET
spigot
#fuck-puppet
#pants-spigot
#red-snapper
#woodring-field-background
7,563 12/4/2019 a big wide world
deuce: shake yo titties pants: an unknown number of stupid little titties deuce: unspecified but almost certainly not zero and probably not exactly one pants: it's a big wide world of titties out there deuce: beyond that, unknown pants: so many titties
deuce
pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#ice-cube
#math
#titties
#woodring-field-background
1,973 2/26/2004 a bird yeah
pants: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE IT UP ON DEMAND YOU DUMB WHORE pants: YOU ARE A GODDAMN VENDING MACHINE WAS RE: OR ELSE pants: I DON'T NEED TO DEHUMANIZE YOU YOU'RE ALREADY A TOOL LIKE THE BOTTLE OPENER OR THE BONG
pants
#bong
#lowercase
#misogyny
#pants-solo
#vending-machine
#was-re
#woodring-room-background
863 2/4/2001 a bj from someone far away
spigot: NOW STEPHEN HAWKING IS SAYING BLACK HOLES ARE NATURE’S GLORYHOLES AND YOU CAN GET A BJ FROM SOMEONE WAY FAR AWAY spigot: I CAN’T REALLY UNDERSTAND HIS SPEECH THING
spigot
#blowjob
#filler-panel
#spigot-solo
#stephen-hawking
#text-to-speech
#woodring-stairs-background
5,838 1/23/2015 a bouquet of love
deuce: T PANTS WOULD YOU LIKE A BOUQUET OF LOVE pants: T DEUCE I WON'T BE FOOLED AGAIN deuce: OH YES YOU WILL pants: ALL RIGHT BOUQUET ME
deuce
pants
#boner
#bouquet
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#love
#mountain-background
1,907 12/23/2003 a brand new wang for xmas
pants: T DEUCE I WOULD LIKE AN XMAS PRESENT deuce: T PANTS HOW ABOUT A NEW WANG pants: T DEUCE THIS ONE IS FINE (IT JUST NEEDS SOME PAINT)
deuce
pants
#christmas
#deuce-pants
#dick
#woodring-stairs-background
6,703 7/15/2017 a bride of christ
spigot: T PANTS WILL YOU DO ME A SIMPLE KINDNESS AND MAKE A LIFELONG VIRGINITY PLEDGE TO JESUS AND BECOME A BRIDE OF CHRIST pants: T SPIGOT BURSTING INTO TEARS
pants
spigot
#jesus
#pants-spigot
#pledge
#religion
#single-panel
#urinal-background
4,103 2/4/2010 a brief intermission
spigot: I NEED TO BE JERKED OVER HERE
spigot
#hi-fi
#jerking
#spigot-solo
642 6/28/2000 a bright shiny angel
spigot: I'M A BRIGHT SHINY ANGEL OF GOD, SENT DOWN FROM HEAVEN TO LICK DICK IN THE TOILET !!!!!! spigot: GLORY BE
spigot
#bonequest-hd
#dicklicking
#religion
#spigot-solo
#toilet
#woodring-stairs-background
952 5/5/2001 a broken dream
deuce: WHAT DO YOU MEAN LEONARD NIMOY IS JEWISH?
deuce
#deuce-solo
#hi-fi
#jews
#single-panel
#star-trek
#woodring-field-background
6,474 11/8/2016 a bug that scares my friend
deuce: WHY IS "THE PRICE IS RIGHT" THEME SONG GOING THROUGH MY HEAD pants: A DONG deuce: A QUEER deuce: A FEMALE QUEER deuce: GAY deuce: A POCKET FULL OF COCK pants: :NOTES: deuce: BEE deuce: A BUG THAT SCARES MY FRIEND deuce: BAA deuce: THE SOUND THAT A SHEEP MAKES deuce: NOT EVEN TRYING TO RHYME pants: :MUSICAL_NOTE: pants: T DEUCE DICKS deuce: I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR A SECOND
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#do-re-mi
#drunk-deuce
#earworm
#emoji
#huffy-pants
#rhyming
#singing
#somber-deuce
#the-price-is-right
#the-sound-of-music
#urinal-background
#weird-pants-face
4,386 11/20/2010 a celebration of sorts
pants: HALGUHLAGHULAHULGHALG pants: FUCK YEAH pants: GAHLAGHLAUHGLUAHGULAGAG
pants
#cocksucking-noises
#diaper
#pants-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
2,306 2/20/2005 a celebration of women
spigot: CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLONK BONK URF MACE RAPINGS
spigot
#mace
#misogyny
#rape
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
6,712 7/24/2017 a chorus line
spigot: A CHORUS LINE OF PISSING DICKS spigot: CAN A MAN GET A DOO-DAH deuce: THE DICKS ARE KICKING THEIR LEGS IN SYNCHRONY (WHILE PISSING)
deuce
spigot
#camptown-races
#deuce-spigot
#piss
#sad-deuce
#somber-deuce
#woodring-field-background
7,179 11/16/2018 a class act
deuce: I'LL TAKE MY SWEET TIME THANK YOU pants: GETTIN' AROUND TO GETTIN' AROUND pants: t deuce my sweater has patches on the elbows deuce: you are a class act deuce: a real dame
deuce
pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#nu-urinal-background
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
7,343 4/28/2019 a class act
pants: i drink piss from a glass deuce: because you're a class act
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#elegance
#incest
#piss
#single-panel
#white-background
7,870 10/5/2020 a clear progression
:: SO IT GOES pants: PLEASE DO THE NEEDFUL pants: I SAID PLEASE deuce: SAYPRETTY PLEASE deuce: WITH SUGAR ON TOP deuce: AND A SLICEOF AIDS deuce: A SLAB OF AIDS pants: I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING pants: (THE THEMES AT PLAY) deuce: A DOLLOP OF DICK deuce: SLICE, SLAB, DOLLOP deuce: IT'S A CLEAR PROGRESSION AND THE RESULT IS [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
deuce
pants
#aids
#caption
#deja-vu
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#feet-above-floor
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#needful
#somber-deuce

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