spigot: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME AT CLUB TUG YOU HAVE TO TUG

spigot: HOLY SHIT THE MARS ROVER FOUND MORE CLUMPED-UP DIRT CLODS spigot: CAN WE GET SOME $4BILLION 100000X100000 HIGH-RES BLACK AND WHITE TIFFS OF THE DIRT CLUMPS spigot: DID THE MARS ROVER LAND IN FRESNO IS THAT WHY RADIO SIGNALS TAKE SO LONG deuce: FRESNO IS DEEP IN A GRAVITATIONAL WELL SO RADIO SIGNALS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY DELAYED

pants: YOU'RE THE DUKE OF NEW YORK !!!! YOU'RE A NUMBER 1 !!!!!!! pants: WON'T ANYONE ATROCITY ME pants: NATURE TEACHES US THAT IRAQI MEN WILL CLUSTER TO HUMP AND KISS IF LEFT UNATTENDED FOR TOO LONG

dick: YES IT SEEMS TO ME THAT DISTRIBUTED COMPUTING IS A SOUND IDEA BUT WHY MUST IT ALWAYS END UP WITH MY HEAD IN YOUR LAP?!?!! deuce: I AM DISTRIBUTING THE HURT deuce: YOUR 56-BIT FACE spigot: WHAT KIND OF AN ARCHITHG*$() dick: I HAVE REJECTED CLUSTERING IN FAVOR OF DAISY CHAINING

pants: HI THERE atandt: HEY BABY atandt: WHAT COLOR PANTIES ARE YOU WEARING pants: FOUR atandt: CMYK PANTIES? pants: D9D9D9 atandt: HOT deuce: DUDE THAT'S GREY atandt: GREY LOOKS GOOD ON HIM atandt: THO THEXY deuce: I'M GOING TO TOOL YOU BUT GOOD

atandt: T DEUCE BE MY SMOOTH BUDDY spigot: T DEUCE BE MY CO-SYSOP deuce: T ATANDT AND SPIGOT DO NOT PRESSURE ME

spigot: I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING TO COMPARE BONERS deuce: I'M HERE FOR YOU spigot: AND CONTRAST CITING SPECIFIC EXAMPLES FROM MY NUTS pants: WE COULD MEASURE THEM spigot: WE COULD USE A SPECIAL CHALK THAT SUCKS DICKS deuce: DOY pants: GIVE THEM CHALK OUTLINES spigot: OR MARKERS pants: ALL THE WHILE CAREFUL NOT TO POKE OUR EYES OUT deuce: MARKERS CAN'T SUCK DICK STUPID pants: OR RUN WITH THEM deuce: CHALK PROBABLY CAN DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH COAXING AND ALCOHOL IS INVOLVED pants: (PSSST DEUCE YOURE THINKING OF ME) deuce: T PANTS OH

deuce: WHAT HAPPENS IF I INJECT THIS COCAINE INTO MY DICK : PANTS STANDS BACK deuce: KABOOM

deuce: I ATE POT ROAST AND COCKBEETLE

pants: OMG COCKHENGE pants: ALL THAT SUCKING AND FUCKING

pants: JUST MOCK THE COCK deuce: GLHGALHGALHAG deuce: HOW DOES YOUR COCK LIKE TO BE MOCKED pants: WITH YOUR MOUTH deuce: I SEE pants: YOUR GODDAMN GAY MOUTH deuce: ANGRILY OR HAPPILY OR WHAT pants: TEAR IT OFF pants: BUT pants: I'LL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU pants: YOU'RE THE DETAILS MAN pants: MAKE MAGIC, BABY deuce: I SEE

net: ARE YOU GUYS GAY net: BECAUSE IF YOU ARE I COULD REALLY USE SOME COCK OVER HERE pants: I AM NOT SURE (SPINNING AROUND IN CIRCLES TRYING TO CHECK MY OWN TAG) deuce: WATCHING, WAITING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO STRIKE net: RIGHT UP ME

spigot: *PSSST* CRACKLE pants: UHHHHHHHH COCK ZOMBIE BUHHHHHH I HEAR AND OBEY HUHHHHH

pants: ARE YOU HERE FOR THE COCKBOT TRYOUTS lobster: UH

pants: ARE YOU HERE FOR THE PART OF THE COCKBOT uncredited robot: MY FACE HURTS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY uncredited robot: GET YOUR GODDAMN GAY DICK OUT OF MY FACE uncredited robot: FUCK THIS PLACE pants: THE RECEPTIONIST CAN VALIDATE YOUR PARKING

pants: T COCKBOT HANG ME WITH THIS BELT UNTIL I ALMOST CHOKE TO DEATH (BUT DO NOT RELEASE ME UNTIL I SPURT) THEN REPEAT THIS PROCESS UNTIL I USE THE STOPWORD THAT I DON'T TELL YOU uncredited robot: I DON'T UNDERSTAND deuce: LEAVE THE POOR COCKBOT ALONE pants: WELL IT PASSES THE TURING TEST pants: THAT'S ALSO WHAT DAD AND THE MAILMAN SAID

pants: HLGAHALGHLU AHGLUHGLAG deuce: BLAGHALUGAG HULBAGHAG pants: T DEUCE I WILL KONK MYSELF ON THE HEAD AND CALL MYSELF SILLY deuce: T PANTS CAN I ASSIST YOU IN ANY WAY pants: T DEUCE I CANNOT SEE (COCKBLIND) deuce: T PANTS COCKFLASH

spigot: WELL COCKMOUTH.GIF WAS EXACTLY AS ADVERTISED deuce: T SPIGOT TRUTH IN ADVERTISING IS A WONDERFUL THING spigot: MARKING FIXED & CLOSED

deuce: SAY IT SOFT AND IT'S ALMOST LIKE PRAYING

spigot: COCKS PEOPLE spigot: I DON'T LOG IN FOR NOTHING

spigot: COCKS AND BALLS spigot: A DUET OF PLEASURES deuce: SHUT UP

pants: COCKS deuce: AGREED pants: DANCING deuce: YES deuce: WE MUST

spigot: LET'S HEAR IT FOR SPIGOT EVERYONE COME ON spigot: WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN'T SURPRISE ME AT MY DOOR WITH COCKS AND GAYNESS spigot: I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO REOPEN OUR DISCUSSION ABOUT HOW GREAT I AM AND HOW BIG MY WANG IS

spigot: JESSICA SIMPSON SINGS LIKE SHE'S GOT COCKS ****AND***** SOCKS IN HER MOUTH pants: DROWN ALL SINGLE MOMS

pants: COCKS spigot: WHAT deuce: I SAID COCKS spigot: WHO spigot: WHERE spigot: WHEN spigot: GIMME

deuce: I SAID COCKS deuce: I MEAN SOME SERIOUS COCKS GOING ON AROUND HERE spigot: HOLD ME deuce: I CAN'T WRAP MY ARMS AROUND YOUR BIG BUBBLY LIPS (spigot): UNDERWEAR

deuce: COCKS deuce: COCKS I SAY pants: I CAN'T HEAR YOU UNLESS YOU KNOCK deuce: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM

deuce: STOCK OPTIONS PLEASE spigot: COCKS ARE UP FIVE POINTS deuce: BUY LIKE CRAZY deuce: EITHER THAT OR SELL spigot: IN FACT MY OWN PERSONAL STRATEGY IS TO SELL THEM WHEN THEY'RE POKING AT ME AND THEN BUY THEM ALL UP AFTER THEY SPURT

deuce: I OPENED THIS NOTES FILE TO TAKE SOME NOTES BUT I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY WERE NOW net: T DEUCE TAKE A MEMO net: COCKS net: DICKS net: AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN net: CC: PANTS net: . (THAT MEANS I'M DONE) deuce: DO I LOOK LIKE SMTP TO YOU MOTHERFUCKER

pants: MUST WE LICK THE DICK LIKE SO

deuce: HELP ME LEARN THE WAYS OF THE GAYS spigot: PHO TOILET spigot: I'M A COCKSUCKING COWBOY WITH A BIG HAT spigot: WHO NEEDS EXTRA ATTENTION AROUND THE DICK AND BALLS AREA spigot: AND SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HTML

pants: i am the beatoff queen deuce: confined to the beatoff pen pants: cocksucking in the data center.wav

pants: WHY CAN'T WE REFORM COCKSUCKING LAWS !!!!!!!! pants: OH pants: OH SUCH A LAW deuce: GAHGLAHGLGH

spigot: HERE WE ARE !!! I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T JUST ANOTHER TRICK TO GET YOU INTO THE TOILET pants: (SNIFF) IT'S BEAUTIFUL pants: NOW THAT WE'RE HERE WHAT SHOULD WE DO spigot: LAHGULHAULGAG deuce: BLAUGLHAHGLBAG pants: AHGULAGUL

pants: I AM CAUSING YOUR XTERM TO SCROLL BWAHAHAHA pants: THE CHIEF CAUSE OF THE SCROLLING: ME deuce: THAT IS JUST PLAIN INCONSIDERATE pants: I, ALONE

pants: LITTLE DID I KNOW... (TRAILS OFF) pants: WHAM POW ZAP PUNCH KICK KISS SLURP DUH BARF pants: IT STARTS NOW pants: THIS ENDS HERE pants: EXCUSE ME BUT MY EYES ARE UP HERE (PULLS DOWN TROUSERS) pants: DOES THE THING pants: ACCUSED BUT NEVER ADMITTING IT pants: SIRS, MA'AM (PLEASANTRIES, TOILETRIES)

deuce: "ZESTY SAUSAGE IN MEAT SAUCE" IS NOT A PARTICULARLY SAFE CODENAME

deuce: MY CIA CODENAME WAS TUCKUS

deuce: MY NAME IS CODE RED pants: I AM LIKING FOR YOU TO HAVE THIS INFOS !!! ME CHINESE spigot: SQUIRP SPLORP PLOP SO MUCH FOR VIOLIN LESSONS

pants: WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU TAKE ME FOR

spigot: CHRIST JESUS pants: YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT pants: LET ME GET YOU A DRINK WITH ABSOLUTELY NO ROOFIES IN IT

bung: SOME GIRL WANTS A JOB AT JERKCITY deuce: ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE HER ONE (DOING DISHES, ETC.) dick: DON'T FORGET MAKING COFFEE deuce: DING deuce: WAIT deuce: I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT QUALITY ASSURANCE ENGINEERS DID

pants: BEATING OFF INTO pants: A COFFEE CAN BECAUSE pants: EVERYTHING ELSE IS FULL

spigot: i don't drink coffee in the morning cause i don't want to be up all day

pants: BONEQUEST FROM THE AIR (A COFFEETABLE BOOK) pants: SIGN MY PETITION TO FORCE SONY INTO RELEASING THE FIRST SEASON OF SPIGOT THE BEAR ON UMD pants: ALWAYS GET THE MONEY FIRST!!!!!!!! OTHERWISE YOU'RE A STUPID, STUPID WHORE deuce: WHAT THE

spigot: GIMME A C pants: C spigot: GIMME AN O pants: O spigot: GIMME A J pants: J spigot: GIMME AN H pants: H spigot: GIMME A G pants: G spigot: GIMME AN L pants: L spigot: GIMME A U pants: U spigot: GIMME A B pants: B spigot: GIMME A B pants: B spigot: GIMME AN L pants: L spigot: GIMME AN H pants: H spigot: GIMME A U pants: U spigot: GIMME A G pants: G spigot: GIMME A G pants: G spigot: GIMME AN L pants: L spigot: GIMME AN E pants: E spigot: WHAT DOES THAT SPELL pants: HOLD ON A MINUTE pants: COJHGLUBBLHUGGLE!?!???? pants: WHAT YOU YOU MEAN MY TIME IS UP pants: I PUT FOUR QUARTERS IN THE SLOT spigot: PARK N SUCK

pants: LOOK HOW ME SEXY pants: NOW YOU GOT THE JUICE pants: PRYING THE GUN FROM HIS COLD, DEAD HANDS ONLY TO REPLACE IT WITH MY DONG

pants: SURELY I WILL LOSE POWER LATER deuce: I WILL BE YOUR ALTERNATE POWER SOURCE (COLD FUSION) deuce: T DEUCE YOU FARTING IN A TEST TUBE IS NOT COLD FUSION deuce: T DEUCE SCREW YOU NAZI deuce: T PANTS COULD YOU HELP MEDIATE PLZ pants: I

deuce: MY HANDS ARE COLD deuce: WARM THEM WITH YOUR HEART deuce: I MEAN YOUR ENTRAILS deuce: SO YEAH YOUR HEART

effigy: RAPPER MC LYTE FILES FOR DIVORCE AFTER 3 YEARS OF MARRIAGE deuce: MY TIME TO SHINE deuce: AND SHE MET HER LAST HUSBAND ON MATCH.COM deuce: I KNOW WHAT TO DO deuce: I GOT THIS deuce: CLICKS GRINDR

spigot: SILENTY I DUNK MY NUTS INTO THE COLD TOILET WATER HMMM URRRRR

spigot: 5 MINS TO 4:20 SO I BETTER FINISH MY WINE spigot: T PANTS WILL YOU JOIN ME ON THE STEPS OF THE FERRY BUILDING FOR A BIG OL' BONGHIT pants: I'M NOT FALLING FOR THE OL' "FERRY BUILDING" TRICK AGAIN pants: SPLOOSH!!! THE COLD UNCARING WATERS OF THE BAY

spigot: FOLKS IF I DON'T LICK DICK THIS COLLAR BOMB'S GOING TO GO OFF!!!! spigot: CAN YOU PLEASE PLACE YOUR COCK IN MY MOUTH????? spigot: JUST PRETEND I'M NOT WEARING A COLLAR BOMB

pants: all these collar bombs are making me hungry for pizza

spigot: BIRTHDAY SUIT spigot: PANCAKES spigot: SOME OTHER RANDOM WORD THAT'S FUNNY

spigot: LOOKING FORWARD TO PLAYBOY'S GIRLS I GAVE A BLACK EYE TO AND THEN TOOK MONEY FROM

pants: WHICH PIPE IS THE ASS PIPE spigot: I PUSHED THE BUTTON FOR WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A DIRTPIPE MILKSHAKE BUT MAYBE IT NEEDS ANOTHER NESPRESSO CAPSULE pants: MUMMMMMMM WHIRRRRRRRRRR DOWN THE BLOCK AND AROUND THE CORNER AND THEN UP THE RIVER TO LOOK FOR COLONEL KURTZ spigot: WHY DID HE ALWAYS DRESS LIKE A LADY AND NOT WANT TO BE IN THE ARMY ANYMORE pants: HE WAS VERY SENSITIVE

deuce: BONERS FOLKS: COME AND GET 'EM pants: TOO COLD FOR BONERS pants: NO WAIT THERE IT GOES pants: NEVERMIND

.(spigot): GOD / BLESS / *BLAM* .(spigot): BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM AND SOME FOR YOU BITCHES BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM .(spigot): COME AND GET IT BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM CLICK CLICK CLICK (TOSS) BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM

spigot: BUH HUH I CAN BE FUNNY SEE LOOK WITH MY MAGIC pants: MAKE THE TIP OF MY DICK VANISH spigot: SAY GOODBYE TO SPIGOT (FOREVER) pants: COME BACK WITH MY TIP OF DICK

deuce: HELLO THERE deuce: CAN I READ YOUR HOWTO/FAQ pants: WELL HI pants: YES COME CLOSER spigot: HOT COFFEE COMING THROUGH

spigot: COME ON KIDS EVERYONE INTO THE PORN VAN TO MEXICO deuce: HURBLE BURBLE

pants: COME ON TUGGING YOUR SLEEVE pants: A FABULOUS VACATION SPOT INDEED pants: WRITING HOME ABOUT IT pants: COME ON NOW LET'S GET IT ON AND GET IT GOING pants: I LIKE ARRIVING FASHIONABLY LATE BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS

spigot: DO TRANS PEOPLE JUST NOT CARE THEY'RE FUCKING UP MACHINE LEARNING

pants: BE GAY WITH ME spigot: AND THEY'RE OFF spigot: [LONE RANGER THEME]

pants: COME OUT FROM UNDER THERE AND BE GAY WITH ME spigot: CAN I JUST PLEASE BE GAY FROM HERE TODAY pants: I CAN'T FIT IN THERE WITH YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU (OH ALSO YOU I DIDN'T SEE YOU BACK THERE HI HOW'S IT GOING)

spigot: I'M WEARING FAT PANTS AND CHASING SKIRTS deuce: COME OVER

deuce: HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND JERK ME CRAZY

spigot: SPACE IS NOT JUST EMPTY AIR FOLKS, IT'S A SQUISHY SOAPY SQUIRTY SPURTY FOAM AND YOU CAN SEE IT WHEN YOU COME OVER TO MY HOUSE

deuce: WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE NOW THAT YOU CALLED MY DICK "CRINKLY" pants: I THINK YOU NEED TO COME TO TERMS WITH YOUR CRINKLY DICK deuce: THAT IS JUST SO UNACCEPTABLE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN pants: JUST TUCK IT BETWEEN YOUR LEGS deuce: I CAN BUT ONLY WHEN EXTREMELY FLACCID pants: RIGHT, WHEN IT'S HARD THERE'S NO CHANCE THAT'LL HAPPEN pants: EXCEPT WITH A HAMMER deuce: RIGHT pants: OR CHOMPY TEETH deuce: A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

spigot: SO I THINK HEINEKEN'S MY FAVORITE SCI-FI AUTHOR WHO'S ALSO A BEER

spigot: COME TO THINK OF IT I THINK WE COULD ALL USE A NUT RUB pants: ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DOLLOP OF JIZZ IN MY ESPRESSO

spigot: 1010101101001010101010 spigot: COME WITH ME ON A TRANCELADELIC EXCURSIONAL ODYSSEY OF ELECTRONICA!!!!!! spigot: BEEP spigot: DOOP spigot: HURRR deuce: I'M MENSTRUATING

spigot: I'M A BAY AREA HOOKER deuce: THOUGHT SO deuce: COME WORK FOR ME spigot: I'M ALL SPURTY (12:37PM) deuce: I CAN CURE YOU OF THAT

spigot: WHY THERE'S THE DEUCE, MAYOR OF SMARTSVILLE deuce: GET OFF ME spigot: HI DEUCE deuce: THIS INSTANT spigot: QUESTION, IF I -- deuce: GRR FOAMY GRRRRR spigot: HOIF OW GOD HOLY PROPS AND PORN pants: GET OUT I SAY spigot: HONKING AND PUSHING pants: THE COMEDY CLOSET IS FULL

spigot: WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY TO THE CHERRY PIE spigot: HOW ARE YOU FILLING spigot: WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY TO THE CARROT CAKE spigot: YOU'RE DUMB AND ALSO GROSS

spigot: OKAY LADIES AND GERMS COMEDY HOUR spigot: I JUST FLEW IN FROM CHICAGO spigot: BOY IS MY MOUTH TIRED spigot: THANK YOU deuce: I DON'T GET IT pants: I DO pants: I WAS THAT MOUTH

atandt: RUGS NOT DRUGS atandt: CAN YOU PREFIX THINGS WITH [OFFTOPIC] THANKS atandt: LET LOVE OPEN THE DOOR

atandt: COMET atandt: IT MAKES YOU VOMIT atandt: SO HAVE SOME COMET atandt: AND VOMIT atandt: TODAY

pants: HIM AND THE REST OF NORTH AMERICA pants: SHUT UP pants: NO YOU SHUT UP

pants: EXCUSE ME SIRS BUT pants: MY FRIEND IS IN A >>>WHEELCHAIR<<< pants: COMIN' THROUGH

pants: LOL BONEQUEST.SUBSTACK.COM AM SERIOUS WRITER PERSON NOW spigot: STREAM IT ON PEACOCK

pants: NOW LET'S YOU AND ME TALK DICK pants: PRETEND THIS IS THE MYSTERY MOUTH deuce: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM deuce: THE MAGICAL MYSTERY MOUTH pants: IS COMING TO TAKE YOU AWAY

spigot: ***sob*** why can't someone dab on them haters????? spigot: seriously though where are all the hater dabbers spigot: coming up: a complimentary dab from me personally to all the haters out there hating spigot: HURRRNK spigot: i threw my back out

pants: do you want to stand around and look bored while i try and gather enough enthusiasm to masturbate deuce: fuck yes!!!!! pants: we'll be right back after these messages

spigot: BONEQUEST, TUESDAYS AT 10 ON KBHK TV44 CABLE CHANNEL 12 pants: SPIGOT GETS A VISIT FROM AN OLD ARMY BUDDY. DEUCE IS MOLESTED. (TV-14) spigot: WHY IS DR. DON ROSE HONKING THAT LADY'S TITS

spigot: COMPARE AND CONTRAST DICKS AND PRICKS pants: MY MOUTH IS NOT A TEAM PLAYER spigot: HOW AND WHY ARE THEY ALIKE/ DIFFERENT spigot: CITE SPECIFIC EXAMPLES FROM THE STALLS, TOILETS TO SUPPORT YOUR THESIS

spigot: SOME DAYS I CANNOT GET UP OFF THE FLOOR pants: OTHER DAYS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO

pants: B-BUT IF WE STRANGLE HER SLOWLY IT WILL TAKE LONGER !!!

spigot: TORN BETWEEN TWO BONERS spigot: SORT OF JUST SMOOSHED spigot: IN BETWEEN THEM spigot: IN THE MIDDLE IS WHAT I'M SAYING spigot: BETWEEN THEM atandt: THAT CAT DOES NOT SOUND RIGHT

pants: HUHHHH GET THAT THING OUT OF MY ESOPHAGUS spigot: UNCONSCIOUS GAYNESS

pants: IT'S HOT IN HERE ozone: THEN TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF IT

pants: ASCII CHILD PORN ???? spigot: THESE PANTS ARE LIKE A CHEAP HOTEL IN THAT THERE'S NO BALL ROOM

pants: WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME (CUFFED, WATCH YOUR HEAD, VAN SPEEDS AWAY)

spigot: COMPLETE SILENCE spigot: SUDDENLY A DONG RANG OUT

spigot: YOU AND YOUR BIG SCIENCE WORDS ABOUT POO spigot: HONKING pants: AND THE OSCAR GOES TO

pants: DON'T HATE THE WIENER HATE THE GAME (THE WIENER GAME) deuce: THE WIENER GAME IS A PROBLEM, ADMITTEDLY deuce: BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THE WIENER IS COMPLETELY BLAMELESS pants: NOBODY IS REALLY SURE WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

spigot: FOLKS IS THERE ANYTHING AT ALL AT DISNEYLAND THAT ISN'T COMPLETELY BORING bung: THE BATHROOM OVER BY BEAR COUNTRY JAMBOREE

pants: JUST PLEASE GET UP AGAINST THE WALL WITH THE REST OF pants: YES LIKE THAT pants: GOOD, GOOD pants: OKAY BRB pants: THE PISS METHOD pants: THIS GLASS OF PISS IF HALF EMPTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: GULP GULP GULP deuce: NOW IT'S COMPLETELY EMPTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!