BONEQUEST

EPISODES: A-Z

No. Date   Title / Dialog Players Tags
2,729 4/20/2006 a close one
spigot: PORN SLOTH deuce: THE EIGHTH DEADLY SIN bung: SHHH, HERE COMES DAD bung: FAG! bung: HOLD THAT DOG STILL OR ELSE deuce: PHEW THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE HE ALMOST SAW US
bung
deuce
spigot
#bestiality
#black-background
#bung-deuce-spigot
#dog
#porn
#zoophilia
2,289 2/3/2005 a cocksucking commando storming the countryside
pants: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG pants: I'M A COCKSUCKING COMMANDO STORMING THE COUNTRYSIDE spigot: T PANTS I DON'T LIKE THAT GAY TALK pants: I'M SORRY
pants
spigot
#cocksucking
#not-gay
#pants-spigot
#watch-the-profanity
#woodring-room-background
5,196 4/7/2013 a cold and lonely sock
pants: SOMEWHERE THERE IS A COLD AND LONELY SOCK (PROBABLY IN LANDFILL AT THIS MOMENT)
pants
#pants-solo
#parking-lot
#sfw
#sock
#sock-in-a-parking-lot
#woodring-room-background
647 7/2/2000 a complicated cry for help
pants: WE THE PEOPLE pants: IN ORDER TO FORM A MORE PERFECT UNION pants: ESTABLISH JUSTICE AND A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF pants: HI I'M PANTS, PERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN MY WORK HERE IN JERKCITY pants: OR UNDER THE OVERPASS SUCKING COCK LIKE A MAN ON A MISSION FROM GOD pants: WHAT pants: YES, THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT pants: MAYBE YOU COULD JUST DRAW A BIG BONG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WHOLE THING OR SOMETHING
pants
#bong
#cocksucking
#hand-drawn
#hi-fi
#marijuana
#pants-solo
#woodring-room-background
31 9/23/1998 a conundrum
deuce: I HAVE A CONUNDRUM pants: CALL A DOCTOR QUICK pants: WHAT IS THE CONUNDRUM? deuce: I HAVE TWO BALLS -- I WANT THREE pants: THAT IS NOT A CONUNDRUM
deuce
pants
#balls
#gay
#woodring-stairs-background
1,729 6/25/2003 A Cookie
: PANTS EATS A COOKIE : PANTS EATS ANOTHER COOKIE : PANTS GOTO EATS A COOKIE
pants
#basic
#caption
#cookies
#fatness
#goto
#okay-pants-face
#pants-solo
#programming
#sfw
#smooth-fonts
#woodring-stairs-background
545 3/24/2000 a cornfed american beauty
pants: MY MOUTH pants: SHE'S A BEAUTY pants: AIN'T SHE atandt: A ONE IN A MILLION MOUTH
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#bonequest-hd
#huffy-pants
#mouth
#mouth-of-pants
#sfw
#the-tubes
#woodring-field-background
5,093 12/24/2012 a cracker jack surprise
pants: THE MAGICAL LEGEND OF MY BONER deuce: THIS CHRISTIANITY THING IS A RUSE deuce: HERE I FOLLOWED THE DICK AND ALL I FOUND WAS A CRACKER JACK SURPRISE !!!!!!!! deuce: **** LOSER ****
deuce
pants
#boner
#cracker-jack
#deuce-pants
#religion
#woodring-den-background
4,228 6/15/2010 a cracking sound
deuce: TWISTING YOUR ARMS UNTIL THEY MAKE A CRACKING SOUND AND THEN KISSING YOU SOFTLY deuce: THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET IT UP IS IF YOU CALL ME AGNES pants: PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#urinal-background
52 10/19/1998 a crip or a blood
pants: IF I'M FAT BOY THEN YOU'RE LITTLE MAN SO SHUT THE FUCK UP LITTLE MAN pants: YOU HEARD ME RIGHT pants: NOW YOU'VE EMBARASSED ME IN FRONT OF THE GANG pants: NOW I'LL NEVER BE A CRIP (OR A BLOOD OR WHATEVER YOU FAGS ARE)
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#gang
#huffy-pants
#initiation
#woodring-room-background
7,266 2/10/2019 a cross-over cinematic multiverse
pants: hoping we can have a cross-over cinematic multiverse where ted bundy goes to the fyre documentary and murders all the influencers
pants
#current-events
#fyre-festival
#netflix
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#white-background
3,183 7/21/2007 a crowd forms
pants: A CROWD FORMS AROUND MY BALLS pants: NOBODY SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A CHILD MOLESTING SIM pants: OR DID THEY
pants
#balls
#child-molesting-sim
#pants-solo
#pedophilia
2,095 6/28/2004 a crown of thorns on -his- wang
pants: HOHLGAH LAUGLUAGH THE SON OF GOD IS A FAG AND LIKES IT UALGHALUH LAHHAL HALGAG ALL HOLY AND ERECT HALGHALG HLHGALH GLAGLAG EVEN A CROWN OF THORNS HERE HLUAHGL UAHHGLAHGLAHGLAHGL AGLHALUGHLAG JESUS IS COMING deuce: GOD ALMIGHTY pants: I HAVE SUCKED HIM OFF TO DEATH pants: HELP ME PUT HIM ON THIS CROSS (WE'LL BLAME THE JEWS) deuce: BLAGHLUBAGLBAG
deuce
pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#jesus
#jews
#religion
#white-background
6,828 11/23/2017 a culture which allows sexual harrassment to continue
spigot: T DEUCE DO YOU EVER REFLECT ON HOW WE PASSIVELY PARTICIPATE IN A CULTURE WHICH ALLOWS SEXUAL HARRASSMENT TO CONTINUE deuce: T SPIGOT SHOW US YOUR TITS
deuce
spigot
#current-events
#deuce-spigot
#feminism
#nu-urinal-background
#sexual-harassment
#single-panel
6,865 12/30/2017 a cup of sugar
effigy: CAN I BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR? effigy: I'M TRYING TO GET A HUMMINGBIRD TO DRINK OUT OF MY PENIS. deuce: BORROW ??? NO deuce: HAVE ??? YES
deuce
effigy
#deuce-effigy
#drunk-deuce
#hummingbird
#nature
#ornithology
#penis
#sounding
#woodring-room-background
1,710 6/6/2003 a dangerous drug
deuce: I'M AN UNEDUCATED MORON PARENT WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRESCREENED FOR ELIGIBILITY TO FUCKING CARRY ON MY GENES spigot: A DANGEROUS DRUG CALLED MTV
deuce
spigot
#bunny
#deuce-spigot
#drugs
#eugenics
#mousehole
#mtv
#parent
#woodring-room-background
881 2/22/2001 a day at the races
: 1996 spigot: ALL THESE DOLE POSTERS????? PAMPHLETS???? WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON RECYCLING?????? : 2000 spigot: ALL THESE GORE POSTERS????? PAMPHLETS???? WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON RECYCLING?????? : 2004 spigot: ALL THESE BUSH POSTERS????? PAMPHLETS???? WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON RECYCLING??????
spigot
#bush
#dole
#gore
#hi-fi
#politics
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
195 4/20/1999 a day in the life
pants: HE SMILES EVEN THOUGH I AM PUNCHING HIM, USING HIM AS A JACKOFF FAMILIAR
pants
#pants-solo
#usenet
#woodring-stairs-background
5,062 11/20/2012 a day in the life
deuce: MY TUMMY HURTS deuce: OOPS TOOK A SHIT
deuce
#black-background
#deuce-solo
#shit
6,216 2/18/2016 a delicate operation
pants: YOU HOLD THE SCREWDRIVER AND I'LL PRY THE PILLS OUT OF THE ROOMBA
pants
#deja-vu
#drugs
#huffy-pants
#pants-solo
#pills
#roomba
#sfw
#urinal-background
7,602 1/12/2020 a dick in each hand
spigot: a dick in each hand, a cock in my mouth and a big dumb dong stuffed up my rear end spigot: half-life 4 confirmed
spigot
#cock
#dick
#dong
#dumb-dong
#half-life
#spigot-solo
#video-games
#woodring-room-background
6,237 3/11/2016 a direct order
spigot: HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK FAT : SPIGOT LEAVES pants: GO GET HIM AND BRING HIM BACK HERE AND MAKE HIM BE FUNNY deuce: MUST pants: PRIVATE I AM GIVING YOU A DIRECT ORDER deuce: JERK
deuce
pants
spigot
#caption
#deuce-pants-spigot
#fatness
#huffy-pants
#sfw
#spigot-leaves
#spigot-points
#teal-background
#uncredited-character
7,166 11/3/2018 a disturbing pattern
pants: there's a disturbing pattern in my trousers you should totally call scully and investigate deuce: he'll just get distracted with aliens and shit pants: you're thinking mulder, scully is the one who founded apple computers pants: boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys boys
deuce
pants
#apple
#boys
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#mousehole
#repetition
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-room-background
#x-files
376 10/12/1999 a dollop
deuce: LLHLHLHLHLHLHLH I AM THE GREATEST COCKSUCKER EVER TO GRACE THIS GOD'S EARTH pants: A DOLLOP PLEASE (NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS)
deuce
pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
2,506 9/8/2005 a dong around my waist like a belt
spigot: TAKE THE OTHER DAY, THERE I AM IN MY KITCHEN AREA WITH THREE PRICKS IN EACH HAND, A DONG AROUND MY WAIST LIKE A BELT AND THE DOORBELL RINGS spigot: WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT: TEN FAT GAY DICKS AND PRICKS STANDING AT THE DOOR DEMANDING ENTRY!!!!!! AND I'M LIKE: WHERE'S THE FIRE?!?!?!?! spigot: WELL AS YOU CAN IMAGINE THEY GAVE ME A GOOD STOMPING AND SMOOSHING AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT THE RASPBERRY HAPPLE-BAPPLE COBBLER I WAS BAKING BURNED RIGHT UP IN THE CROCKPOT
spigot
#apple-bapple
#cobbler
#cooking
#dicks
#reduplication
#smooshing
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
6,638 5/6/2017 a duck choking
spigot: FOLKS THE VIETNAMESE LANGUAGE SOUNDS LIKE A DUCK CHOKING ON A CHICKEN BONE
spigot
#folks
#linguistics
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
#vietnam
5,744 10/21/2014 a ducks says
deuce: "A COW SAYS [TRAIN ENGINE WHISTLE]" pants: "A DOG SAYS [WAR OF THE WORLDS KLAXON]" deuce: BROOOOOOOOOOOONG deuce: A PIG SAYS [SILENT STAR TREK (2009) LENS FLARE] pants: A DUCKS SAYS [QUACK.WAV]
deuce
pants
#animals
#deuce-pants
#duck
#filename
#huffy-pants
#onomatopoeia
#sfw
#sound-effects
#speak-and-say
#urinal-background
#war-of-the-worlds
6,469 11/3/2016 a duel it shall be sir
pants: COCK(S) deuce: HOW DARE YOU deuce: YOU TAKE THAT BACK OR I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL (BY COCK STRANGLING) pants: A DUEL IT SHALL BE SIR (TROUSERS AROUND ANKLES) deuce: HBLHBLHBLHBHBLHBHBHBLHBHBLHBBLHBLHBLHBLBBLHBHB pants: GBLAGHBALGLUAHGBLAGHLABLAHGBLAGA
deuce
pants
#cocks
#deuce-pants
#duel
#huffy-pants
#urinal-background
7,496 9/28/2019 a dystopian sci-fi future
deuce: if you look closely you'll see the biggest problem is that there's a woman in the captain's chair pants: a dystopian sci-fi future
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#frog
#misogyny
#science-fiction
#sfw
#single-panel
#space-nuts-background
#star-trek
#women
6,157 12/10/2015 a fair question but not a reasonable question
pants: DOES MY BONER NEED ITS OWN SEPARATE PASSPORT OR CAN I JUST WAVE HIM THROUGH
pants
#airport-security
#boner
#coy-pants
#crater
#new-background
#pants-solo
#passport
#smouldering-crater
#woodring-field-background-2
8,146 7/8/2021 a fair trial
deuce: FOLKS MY BALLS CAN'T GET A FAIR TRIAL IN THIS CITY deuce: ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CRIME THEY ARE ACCUSED OF IS COVERING A CITY AND BLOCKING OUT THE LIGHT (SPECIFICALLY THIS CITY) deuce: I SUGGEST A CHANGE OF VENUE AND PERHAPS A CHANGE OF UNDERWEAR
deuce
#balls
#deuce-solo
#law
#woodring-den-background
2,716 4/6/2006 a fat gay goth standing on the edge of the information apocalpyse
spigot: CHUBBY HUBBY SEEKS AFTERNOON HOOKER!!!!! spigot: MUST LIKE LIVING WITH MOM AND SLEEPING W/NINTENDO CARTS spigot: THIS TIME I'M A FAT GAY GOTH STANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE INFORMATION APOCALYPSE!!!!! spigot: CAN A ZINE SAVE THE WORLD?!?!?!?!?!? spigot: I WOULD LIKE MORE ALLOWANCE
spigot
#fat
#goth
#prostitute
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
#zine
4,190 5/6/2010 a feast for the senses
pants: LICKING DICK IN THE BIZARRO UNIVERSE
pants
#bizarro
#dc-comics
#dicklicking
#dj-rapekit
#pants-solo
#superman
6,769 9/24/2017 a few extra to cover my future mistakes
deuce: HURGLE GURGLE deuce: HITLER WAS RIGHT deuce: GURGLE BURGLE deuce: (THAT'S THE TOILET TALKING, TOTALLY NOT ME deuce: ) deuce: ) : DEUCE HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED.
deuce
#blank-panel
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#emtpy-panel
#hitler
#sfw
#toilet
#too-rapidly
#urinal-background
#whitespace
5,739 10/16/2014 a few of my favorite things
spigot: AND DILDOS AND DUCT TAPE
spigot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#uncredited-character
#urinal-background
7,372 5/27/2019 a few of my favorite things revisited
spigot: I LOVE TO DOWNLOAD AND EAT CORN DOGS
spigot
#corn-dog
#download
#hi-fi
#love
#pee
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
5,052 11/10/2012 a fine mess
spigot: LET'S BOTH SQUEEZE INTO THE TUB
spigot
#red-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#tub
1,331 5/24/2002 a fine romance
spigot: HUHHHHHHHHH I'M AS FAT AS I AM ON TV deuce: THAT SEEMS LIKE A STRANGE THING TO CALL THE BATHROOM spigot: URMPH SON OF A HONK URF GUH THIS IS A FINE ROMANCE
deuce
spigot
#afraid-deuce
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#honk
#woodring-room-background
8,201 9/1/2021 a fine team
deuce: I'M A HARDON bung: I'M AN OPEN MOUTH deuce: WE WILL MAKE A FINE TEAM bung: LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER deuce: AND WHORES AND AIDS
bung
deuce
#a-fine-team
#aids
#bung-deuce
#hardon
#mountain-background
#mouth
#whores
324 8/23/1999 a fireside chat
deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE WORST PART ABOUT LICKING DICK ?!?!?! deuce: PISSING BLOOD
deuce
#blood
#deuce-solo
#dicklicking
#piss
#woodring-field-background
7,741 5/29/2020 a fun new twist
spigot: I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE BIGGEST FAN OF ANAL SEX spigot: BUT HAVE YOU TRIED ANAL SEX IN THE >>>>>>>>>> REAR END <<<<<<<<<< ?????????? spigot: IT COULD BE A FUN NEW TWIST ON THINGS
spigot
#anal
#rear-end
#spigot-says
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
3,115 5/14/2007 a funeral for deuce
pants: WATCH ME POO ozone: COCK OF THE FUCK OF THE SHIT OF THE DICK
ozone
pants
#cock-of-the-fuck
#death-and-return-of-deuce
#ozone-pants
#poo
#title-mismatch
#white-background
5,935 4/30/2015 a future for my boner
pants: CAN YOU SEE A FUTURE FOR MY BONER pants: A FUTUREBONER pants: I.E. A BONER IN YOUR FUTURE deuce: IS THIS BONER WE'RE REFERRING TO IN MY FACT MY BONER
deuce
pants
#boner
#deuce-pants
#urinal-background
4,584 6/30/2011 a game of nuts
pants: DON'T SHOOT I CRIED pants: BUT THEN IT WAS TOO LATE pants: I HAD TO LICK ALL THEIR DICKS deuce: CHALLENGE ME TO A GAME OF NUTS
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dicklicking
#drunk-deuce
#nuts
#white-background
2,443 7/7/2005 a gay man in my pants (pt. 1)
net: ONCE AGAIN, I MUST REPORT THAT THERE IS A GAY MAN IN MY PANTS deuce: DO I KNOW HIM (OR HER) net: YES DEFINITELY net: PERHAPS YOU COULD GET IN HERE WITH US AND TALK HIM OUT OF HERE deuce: IS IT ME (I'M A LITTLE OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW) : To be continued tomorrow...
deuce
net
#acdc
#deuce-net
#gay
#gay-man-in-my-pants
#mystery
#pants
#series
#woodring-field-background
2,444 7/8/2005 a gay man in my pants (pt. 2)
net: I SUPPOSE I COULD LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE AND SAY HEY FREE FAG deuce: THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION IS STARTING TO COME INTO FOCUS NOW deuce: IT'S YOUR OWN DICK ISN'T IT net: LET ME CHECK net: YES (YES IT IS)
deuce
net
#acdc
#deuce-net
#dicks
#fag
#gay
#gay-man-in-my-pants
#mousehole
#mystery
#pants
#series
#woodring-room-background
2,789 6/19/2006 a gentle introduction
hanford: WELCOME TO BONEQUEST atandt: ROCK ON hanford: DO NOT PUT YOUR HAND IN THE MOUSEHOLE atandt: BOY HOWDY hanford: IT'S LIKE A GAY DISCO IN THERE atandt: YOU DON'T SAY
atandt
hanford
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
#you-dont-say
4,827 3/13/2012 a gentle word, a kind look
deuce: I LIKE MARSHMELLOW BROWNIES AND EASTER PEEPS AND CHEX MIX deuce: ALL OUT OF CHEX MIX???? deuce: RRRRRR RAPING THE AIR
deuce
#chex-mix
#deuce-solo
#deucegrin
#easter-peeps
#gentle-deuce
#mousehole
#product-placement
#rape
#typo
#woodring-room-background
5,948 5/13/2015 a gentleman's agreement
pants: PUT YOUR JUNK IN THE DRAWER AND I'LL SLAM IT pants: MY BONER HAS ACCESS TO A CLOAKING DEVICE pants: DOESN'T HELP
pants
#boner
#dong-slamming
#genital-mutilation
#hospital-background
#pants-solo
#weird-pants-face
7,033 6/23/2018 a gift for the neighbors
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#filename
#hospital-background
#poo
#smearing
#unix
#weird-pants-face
633 6/19/2000 a glass of rape
spigot: I HATE IT WHEN THEY DON'T TAKE IT OUT RIGHT AWAY spigot: IT'S LIKE ENOUGH ALREADY spigot: BUT HE'S ALL "ACTUALLY I NEED TO FINISH" spigot: SO I JUST BEND THERE AND TAKE IT spigot: "HMM, I'LL BE DONE IN A MINUTE" spigot: WHILE I HAVE THAT DOPEY BORED LOOK ON MY FACE spigot: I'LL HAVE A CROISSANDWICH AND A GLASS OF RAPE
spigot
#burger-king
#croissandwich
#rape
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
5,714 9/21/2014 a good boy
pants: WHO'S A GOOD BOY deuce: I AM I AM pants: YOU'RE A GOOD BOY deuce: SPLATTER ME WITH BLOOD AND PISS pants: YES YOU ARE
deuce
pants
#blood
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#piss
#woodring-stairs-background
7,707 4/26/2020 a good firearm for a first time owner
pants: t deuce do you think this would be a good firearm for a first-time owner pants: HLAGHULAHGLUAG deuce: it is classified as a destructive device so you cannot own it legally
deuce
pants
#cucumber
#deuce-pants
#firearm
#gun
#multiple-backgrounds
#photo
#roman-shower
6,666 6/3/2017 a good impression
pants: WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR A TIE TO THE TOILETS deuce: BECAUSE YOU WANT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION, DON'T YOU
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#first-impression
#interview
#single-panel
#tie
#toilet
#urinal-background
54 10/21/1998 a good laugh
spigot: ACCORDING TO THE 1997 MOTORCYCLE SUPPLEMENT FROM THE DMV, WHEN YOUR REAR TIRE GOES FLAT THE BICYCLE SWINGS "JERKILY" FROM SIDE TO SIDE, WELL WE ALL HAD A GOOD LAUGH AND I FAILED
#dmv
#motorcycle
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
59 10/29/1998 a good magician
spigot: I LIKE TO PRACTICE BEING GAY IN FRONT OF A MIRROR spigot: NOTE: A GOOD MAGICIAN NEVER CHOKES DOWN THE SAME DICK TWICE spigot: THAT'S THE LAST TIME I BUY COMEDY FROM WAL-MART
#comedy
#failed-comedy
#magic
#spigot-solo
#wal-mart
#woodring-field-background
4,492 3/20/2011 a good old fashioned
pants: GIVE ME A GOOD OLD FASHIONED BLACKOUT
pants
#pants-solo
#urinal-background
98 1/3/1999 a good running start
dick: WHEN FACE RAPING SOMEONE THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR GETTING A GOOD RUNNING START deuce: ALSO LUBRICATION (USU. TEARS)
deuce
dick
#deuce-dick
#lubrication
#mousehole
#rape
#woodring-room-background
3,895 7/2/2009 a good squeeze
spigot: DEUCE AND I ARE TRYING TO TALK PRIVATELY spigot: T DEUCE THEN I'D GRAB YOUR NUTS AND GIVE THEM A GOOD SQUEEZE UNTIL YOU THREW UP ALL OVER YOURSELF
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#genital-mutilation
#nuts
#privacy
#urinal-background
#vomit
5,023 10/12/2012 a grand love story
pants: HEY JEW deuce: WHAT UP MUSLIM pants: EATIN' PORK deuce: WEIRD SAME
deuce
pants
#blue-background
#deuce-pants
#haram
#jews
#muslims
#not-kosher
3,585 8/26/2008 a great idea
spigot: I ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF A GREAT IDEA FOR A WEB GAME spigot: OKAY, IT TAKES A BRIEF EXPLANATION BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS spigot: UP YOURS FAGGOT deuce: STRANGELY ENOUGH I KNEW THAT WAS COMING
deuce
spigot
#bait-and-switch
#deuce-spigot
#gaming
#urinal-background
3,877 6/14/2009 a groove called love
(deuce): WORKING ON A GROOVE CALLED LOVE (spigot): T DEUCE I'M WORKING ON MY FIFTH DANISH AND A CORN DOG spigot: EXCUSE ME BUT I'M ENTITLED TO RICH MILK CHOCOLATE *AND* FLUFFY NOUGAT deuce: WHEN YOU USE THE WORD NOUGAT YOU MAKE ME ALL GIDDY
deuce
spigot
#corn-dog
#danish
#deuce-pants
#deuce-spigot
#jody-watley
#milk-chocolate
#nougat
#urinal-background
#whisper
1,430 8/29/2002 a handjob for john ashcroft (drunk at work)
pants: JOHN ASHCROFT NEEDS A HANDJOB pants: AND I KNOW JUST THE MAN FOR THE JOB pants: I'M GOING TO WORK YOUR GODDAMN DICK MISTER MAN pants: YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST pants: AS I DO MY THING YOU'RE GOING TO STUTTER AND BLINK pants: BUH HUB BUH FABULOUS I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE BUH pants: MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE AT CAMP HUHHHHH MMM pants: AND THE YMCA HUFF HUFF HUFF pants: LATER HE WILL BE CURIOUS ABOUT THE USE OF THE MOUTH pants: I WILL SHOW HIM THE WAYS OF THE WORLD pants: CAN I GET PAID NOW hanford: GET OFF MY STAGE IF YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING
hanford
pants
#alcohol
#coy-pants
#hanford-pants
#huffy-pants
#john-ashcroft
#mouth
#politics
#special-guest
#title-mismatch
4,915 6/14/2012 a hard reset
pants: I SUGGEST A HARD RESET (RE: HITTING ME HARD IN THE FACE)
pants
#black-background
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#violence
7,159 10/27/2018 a hard rule
pants: do women have dicks or is that just dudes deuce: mostly pants: is it a hard rule or are we talking notable exceptions deuce: unclear
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#ts
#women
#woodring-room-background
2,492 8/25/2005 a healthy debate this is not
ozone: (EV1): UNIT 0, REVISION 3. deuce: COCKS ??? ozone: DICKS !!! deuce: WE'RE IN AGREEMENT THEN
deuce
ozone
#deuce-ozone
#unix
#woodring-stairs-background
5,641 7/10/2014 a heavy grift
pants: IT'S A HEAVY GRIFT pants: HOW TO GET HOLD OF THAT DICK pants: THIS WILL REQUIRE A CLEVER PLAN
pants
#dick
#grift
#pants-solo
#planning
#scam
#urinal-background
4,775 1/18/2012 a helpful hint
spigot: HINT: I'M SUCKING YOU RIGHT NOW (LOOK DOWN) spigot: SURPRISE spigot: AND JUST LIKE THAT HE WAS GONE
spigot
#cocksucking
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
3,213 8/20/2007 a hen or a duck
pants: I AM A HEN pants: BUK BUK deuce: T PANTS THAT'S A DUCK pants: BUK
deuce
pants
#buk-buk
#deuce-pants
#duck
#hen
#photo-background
4,896 5/26/2012 a holiday tradition worth celebrating
pants: SCARED pants: OH WHAT THE HELL pants: HAW HAWHAWH AWIH LAFIALFDH AILFSH DICKS
pants
#grey-background
#pants-solo
5,497 2/15/2014 a hollow voice
deuce: A HOLLOW VOICE SAYS "COCKS" pants: FOLLOWED BY A SERIES OF OTHER LOW HOLLOW VOICES: "SURE" "YUP" "I'LL TAKE TWO" "MMMMM"
deuce
pants
#deja-vu
#deuce-pants
#grey-background
#infocom
#somber-deuce
#zork
7,356 5/11/2019 a horrible hellscape
deuce: Jesus Christ why did I get up before 7 pants: it's cold and stupid out deuce: a horrible hellscape
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#jesus
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
5,305 7/25/2013 a huge bend in it
deuce: MY DICK HAS A HUGE BEND IN IT AFTER THE DOOR SLAMMING INCIDENT
deuce
#bend
#deuce-solo
#dick
#dong-slamming
#genital-mutilation
#woodring-stairs-background
7,941 12/15/2020 a huge disgusting orgy
deuce: NEXT PARTY: EVERYONE DOES ECSTASY AND HANGS OUT, ENDS UP IN A HUGE, DISGUSTING ORGY effigy: I WILL BRING VIAGRA spigot: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM EITHER OF YOU EVER AGAIN
deuce
effigy
spigot
#deuce-effigy-spigot
#drugs
#feet-above-floor
#mdma
#mountain-background
#orgy
#viagra
475 1/14/2000 a huge spaceship
spigot: FOLKS THE SUN'S ATMOSPHERE HAS EXPANDED TO ENGULF AND DESTROY MERCURY AND VENUS!!!!!!! CAN WE PLEASE START WORKING ON A HUGE SPACESHIP??????? spigot: THE OCEANS ARE BOILING AND THE SKY IS A DEEP RED AND EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING!!!!!!!!!!!! DOES ANYONE HAVE EPISODE 1 OF FELICITY ON TAPE spigot: PEOPLE ARE COLLAPSING AND MELTING INTO THE SIDEWALK!!!!!! BUILDINGS ARE BEING UPROOTED BY HUGE BUBBLING BURSTS OF LAVA AND VOLCANIC SMOKE!!!!!!!!! HOPEFULLY KINKO'S WILL BE OPEN SO I CAN FINISH MY ZINE!!!!!!!!!!
spigot
#britney-spears
#felicity
#folks
#kinkos
#lava
#mercury
#mountain-background
#ocean
#sfw
#sky
#spaceship
#spigot-solo
#sun
#venus
#zine
5,556 4/15/2014 a human beat box
spigot: MMR URF I'M A HUMAN BEAT BOX DON'T COPY THAT FLOPPY HURR HIP BIP
spigot
#beatboxing
#floppy
#rap
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#yellow-background
8,240 10/10/2021 a is for
pants: OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, "SUNDAY" deuce: GLHGAHGA
deuce
pants
#aardvark
#alphabet
#sfw
#single-panel
#somber-deuce
#sunday
#woodring-stairs-background
598 5/16/2000 a jerkcity tribute
pants: A JERKCITY TRIBUTE TO THE LESS IMPORTANT CHARACTERS STARRING MOST OF THEM spigot: YAY pants: I MEAN TO SAY THE ONES THAT ARE LESS FUNNY OR WHATEVER IS LESS INSULTING spigot: JUST TRY TO BE QUIET pants: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE I CAUSED spigot: A WHAT
pants
spigot
#maynard
#sfw
#uncredited-character
#woodring-room-background
3,267 10/13/2007 a kind of toilet
spigot: I'M KIND OF A TOILET deuce: T SPIGOT ON MY WAY
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#dick-pit
#dj-rapekit
#single-panel
#toilet
#white-background
7,977 1/20/2021 a letter from our co-founders
pants: DOMESTIC TERRORISM AT THE US CAPITOL THREATENED DEMOCRACY deuce: AND WE DENOUNCE IT deuce: IN THESE TRYING TIMES WE'D LIKE TO TAKE A STAND ON ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT YET DIVISIVE ISSUES OF OUR TIME pants: BURGER KING’S DELICIOUS ALL BEEF FLAME BROILED WHOPPER deuce: THE $3 SNACK BOX INCLUDES 10 PC NUGGETS, 1 MED FRIES, 1 CHEESEBURGER, 1 SMALL SOFT DRINK deuce: EVERY DAY, MORE THAN 11 MILLION GUESTS VISIT BURGER KING® RESTAURANTS AROUND THE WORLD pants: BONEQUEST WOULD LIKE TO SALUTE OUR HEROES, OR WHOEVER STUCK AN ONION RING IN THE FRIES BECAUSE FUCK YEAH THAT’S THE BEST deuce: BURGER KING pants: HOME OF THE WHOPPER®
deuce
pants
#blue-background
#brand-colors
#burger-king
#coy-pants
#current-events
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#fat
#fatness
#food
#huffy-pants
#multiple-backgrounds
#politics
#red-background
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#yellow-background
442 12/15/1999 a letter to ice cube
pants: DEAR MISTER CUBE deuce: YOU ARE ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING pants: I AM WRITING TO INQUIRE ABOUT THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF SMALL OR MEDIUM SIZED DICKS IN MY ASS deuce: LOVE, PANTS pants: P.S. I LIKE POO
deuce
pants
#anal
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#drunk-deuce
#ice-cube
#mousehole
#pants-sending-letters
#poo
#woodring-room-background
7,432 7/26/2019 a little bit
spigot: may i be honest with you deuce: uh oh spigot: it feels like it might be for fags a little bit spigot: a little bit for fags
deuce
spigot
#be-gay-with-me
#deuce-spigot
#faggy
#fags
#mountain-background
#stall
6,286 4/30/2016 a little house in the woods
pants: DOWNLOAD ME pants: I'LL LIVE ON YOUR DESKTOP FOREVER pants: A LITTLE HOUSE IN THE WOODS pants: PASSERS BY CAN SEE LAMPLIGHT THROUGH THE LONE WINDOW: "HE MUST BE SO LONELY" pants: BEATING OFF IN A FRENZY
pants
#beating-off
#coy-pants
#farts
#funloving-nonsense
#huffy-pants
#pants-solo
#urinal-background
7,204 12/11/2018 a little kitchy
pants: why don't you beat me off jazz-style (free form but not out of bounds) deuce: what about blues-style or even swing-style pants: seems a little kitchy
deuce
pants
#beating-off
#blues
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#jazz
#swing
#typo
#woodring-field-background
1,453 9/21/2002 a little more j, a lot less o
deuce: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ spigot: A LITTLE MORE J AND A LOT LESS O spigot: ACTUALLY LET'S TRY TO EQUALIZE THE J WITH THE O deuce: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO spigot: WAY WAY TOO MUCH O
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#jo
6,587 3/14/2017 a little mustard, some rye bread
net: FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS DONG TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS MOUTH HOLE deuce: I BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL PHRASE FROM MARX IS "RAPE HOLE" pants: A LITTLE BOURGEOISIE, A LITTLE MUSTARD, SOME RYE BREAD
deuce
net
pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-net-pants
#high-res
#marxism
#mountain-background
#sandwich
4,156 3/30/2010 a little over three times
deuce: T PANTS I THINK WE TOOK THE "I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR DICK" GAME TOO FAR pants: T DEUCE IF WE HADN'T BEEN DRINKING THE WHOLE "LET'S PRETEND I'M A GIRL" THING MIGHT NOT HAVE HAPPENED deuce: T PANTS LOOK HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY I'M SORRY I HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID SO I WENT FOR IT pants: T DEUCE IF I WASN'T SO STONED MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE SUCKED ALL THE DICKS IN THE ROOM TWICE deuce: T PANTS MY COUNT IT WAS A LITTLE OVER THREE TIMES AROUND THE ROOM
deuce
pants
#alcohol
#deuce-pants
#dicksuscking
#marijuana
#mousehole
#stoned
#woodring-room-background
4,441 1/17/2011 a little puffy
pants: WANG WANG WANG WANG! WANG! WANG! pants: COME ON PEOPLE spigot: WANG WUH WUH pants: YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED spigot: I'M A LITTLE PUFFY J/K!!!!!!!!!! WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG
pants
spigot
#mouse-cursor
#pants-spigot
#wang
#woodring-field-background
306 8/6/1999 a little sick of poptarts
deuce: I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE SENDMAIL THING spigot: A LITTLE SICK OF POPTARTS deuce: I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY YOU SURE ATE ENOUGH spigot: ONE MORE BOX OF APPLE JACKS AND THEN THAT'S PROBABLY ENOUGH spigot: ARE YOU JENNA JAMESON BECAUSE I AM SERIOUSLY STIFF deuce: I SWEAR I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO LEGAL OBLIGATION TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION
deuce
spigot
#blair-witch
#deuce-spigot
#eating
#fat
#food
#no-greytext
#poptarts
#redtext
#sendmail
#spigot-points
#unix
#woodring-stairs-background
6,891 1/25/2018 a little something like this
spigot: I THINK IF ***JACK NICHOLSON*** spigot: WAS PRESIDENT PLUMPF spigot: IT WOULD SOUND A LITTLE SOMETHING . . . . . . . . . . . LIKE THIS: spigot: YOU HAVE 0 FREE ARTICLES LEFT THIS MONTH spigot: YOU OBVIOUSLY LOVE GREAT JERK CITY COMICS.
spigot
#celebrity-impression
#jack-nicholson
#mutants
#paywall
#politics
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
#washington-post
7,318 4/3/2019 a little tired
deuce: you're a national treasure pants: does god love me deuce: he's sort of indifferent deuce: but not really hostile deuce: just a little tired of your shit pants: who wouldn't be
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#god
#pants-deuce
#tv
#urinal-background
541 3/20/2000 a little uninteresting
atandt: DID SOMEONE SAY FOOD deuce: SHUT UP ALREADY atandt: I FEEL UNLOVED deuce: AND PROBABLY A LITTLE UNINTERESTING atandt: THAT TOO
atandt
deuce
#atandt-deuce
#atandt-deuce-disconnect
#drunk-deuce
#mousehole
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
8,498 6/24/2022 a log cabin
spigot: LARPING AS A RAPIST spigot: IF ABRAHAM LINCOLN WERE ALIVE TODAY HE COULD MAKE A LOG CABIN OUT OF TWIX spigot: AND KEEP VICODINS IN HIS HAT
#abraham-lincoln
#candy
#drugs
#hat
#larp
#lemon-background
#rape
#vicodin
5,364 9/22/2013 a long series of probing and sucking
net: I'D LIKE YOU TO GRAB ME ABOUT THE NUTSACK TO GET A GOOD FEEL FOR JUST HOW GAY I AM pants: HMM THIS WILL REQUIRE A LONG SERIES OF PROBING AND SUCKING net: OR JUST A GOOD FEEL pants: MUCH LIKE THE MOON LANDING (FAKED) net: PLEASE DO NOT FAKE THE SUCKING
net
pants
#fake
#gay
#moon
#net-pants
#nutsack
#sucking
#woodring-room-background
409 11/13/1999 a long-overdue explanation
deuce: RUBBING THE NUTS (TO MAKE FIRE)
deuce
#deuce-solo
#deuces-balls
#fire
#hi-fi
#mountain-background
#nuts
666 7/20/2000 a look inside
: UNITED COLORS OF GAY first virus: HELLO - I AM THE AIDS VIRUS. PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE THIS GUY IS TOO *GAY* second virus: YEAH WHAT HE SAID HUGALUGALUGH COCKS : &#285;i estas finfina
deuce
#aids
#bonequest-hi-fi
#color
#esperanto
#hand-drawn
#non-comic-chat-comic
#white-background
6,836 12/1/2017 a lot more
(pants): PENIS PUMP(S) deuce: ONE OR MORE PENIS PUMPS deuce: PROBABLY MORE (deuce): A LOT MORE
deuce
pants
#clipart
#coffee
#deuce-pants
#penis-pump
#whisper
#white-background
3,904 7/11/2009 a lot more
deuce: I'D FEEL A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE ABOUT BEING HERE IF YOU GUYS WERE FUNNIER spigot: COCKS AND NUTS PRODDING ME THROUGH ADOLESCENCE
deuce
spigot
#cocks
#deuce-spigot
#nuts
#urinal-background
5,692 8/30/2014 a lot more comfortable
spigot: MY VOICE IS CHANGING PEOPLE BUT I'M STILL GAY spigot: COCKS AND NUTS PRODDING ME THROUGH ADOLESCENCE deuce: I'D FEEL A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE ABOUT BEING HERE IF YOU GUYS WERE FUNNIER
deuce
spigot
#adolescence
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#neon-grid-background
#puberty
#url
7,208 12/15/2018 a lot of work
pants: i was thinking about drowning myself but i can't do it alone pants: need you to stand on my neck pants: also gonna need a lot of piss pants: i'll get the u-haul and you start lugging jugs down to the first floor pants: we're gonna do this deuce: this sounds like a lot of work pants: but think of the ratings
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#piss
#ratings
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background

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