spigot: FOLKS THE SUN'S ATMOSPHERE HAS EXPANDED TO ENGULF AND DESTROY MERCURY AND VENUS!!!!!!! CAN WE PLEASE START WORKING ON A HUGE SPACESHIP??????? spigot: THE OCEANS ARE BOILING AND THE SKY IS A DEEP RED AND EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING!!!!!!!!!!!! DOES ANYONE HAVE EPISODE 1 OF FELICITY ON TAPE spigot: PEOPLE ARE COLLAPSING AND MELTING INTO THE SIDEWALK!!!!!! BUILDINGS ARE BEING UPROOTED BY HUGE BUBBLING BURSTS OF LAVA AND VOLCANIC SMOKE!!!!!!!!! HOPEFULLY KINKO'S WILL BE OPEN SO I CAN FINISH MY ZINE!!!!!!!!!!

spigot: MMR URF I'M A HUMAN BEAT BOX DON'T COPY THAT FLOPPY HURR HIP BIP

pants: OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, "SUNDAY" deuce: GLHGAHGA

pants: A JERKCITY TRIBUTE TO THE LESS IMPORTANT CHARACTERS STARRING MOST OF THEM spigot: YAY pants: I MEAN TO SAY THE ONES THAT ARE LESS FUNNY OR WHATEVER IS LESS INSULTING spigot: JUST TRY TO BE QUIET pants: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE I CAUSED spigot: A WHAT

spigot: I'M KIND OF A TOILET deuce: T SPIGOT ON MY WAY

net: I'M GOING TO PUT UP WEB PAGES ABOUT HOW I'M REALLY EVERY GIRL'S DREAM GUY BUT THEY ALL JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS net: THEN I WILL SIT AT HOME AND CONTEMPLATE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO TOUCH A BREAST net: I THINK I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD SIMULATION WITH THIS BIKE HELMET

deuce: THAT DIARRHEA BLAST WAS SO POWERFUL IT STUCK TO THE SIDE OF THE BOWL EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BELOW THE WATER LEVEL AFTER FLUSHING deuce: ALSO I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF BUT NOT QUITE!!! deuce: HANG ME FROM THE LAMPPOSTS AS AN EXAMPLE TO OTHERS

pants: DOMESTIC TERRORISM AT THE US CAPITOL THREATENED DEMOCRACY deuce: AND WE DENOUNCE IT deuce: IN THESE TRYING TIMES WE'D LIKE TO TAKE A STAND ON ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT YET DIVISIVE ISSUES OF OUR TIME pants: BURGER KING’S DELICIOUS ALL BEEF FLAME BROILED WHOPPER deuce: THE $3 SNACK BOX INCLUDES 10 PC NUGGETS, 1 MED FRIES, 1 CHEESEBURGER, 1 SMALL SOFT DRINK deuce: EVERY DAY, MORE THAN 11 MILLION GUESTS VISIT BURGER KING® RESTAURANTS AROUND THE WORLD pants: BONEQUEST WOULD LIKE TO SALUTE OUR HEROES, OR WHOEVER STUCK AN ONION RING IN THE FRIES BECAUSE FUCK YEAH THAT’S THE BEST deuce: BURGER KING pants: HOME OF THE WHOPPER®

pants: DEAR MISTER CUBE deuce: YOU ARE ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING pants: I AM WRITING TO INQUIRE ABOUT THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF SMALL OR MEDIUM SIZED DICKS IN MY ASS deuce: LOVE, PANTS pants: P.S. I LIKE POO

spigot: may i be honest with you deuce: uh oh spigot: it feels like it might be for fags a little bit spigot: a little bit for fags

pants: DOWNLOAD ME pants: I'LL LIVE ON YOUR DESKTOP FOREVER pants: A LITTLE HOUSE IN THE WOODS pants: PASSERS BY CAN SEE LAMPLIGHT THROUGH THE LONE WINDOW: "HE MUST BE SO LONELY" pants: BEATING OFF IN A FRENZY

pants: why don't you beat me off jazz-style (free form but not out of bounds) deuce: what about blues-style or even swing-style pants: seems a little kitchy

deuce: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ spigot: A LITTLE MORE J AND A LOT LESS O spigot: ACTUALLY LET'S TRY TO EQUALIZE THE J WITH THE O deuce: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO spigot: WAY WAY TOO MUCH O

net: FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS DONG TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS MOUTH HOLE deuce: I BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL PHRASE FROM MARX IS "RAPE HOLE" pants: A LITTLE BOURGEOISIE, A LITTLE MUSTARD, SOME RYE BREAD

deuce: T PANTS I THINK WE TOOK THE "I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR DICK" GAME TOO FAR pants: T DEUCE IF WE HADN'T BEEN DRINKING THE WHOLE "LET'S PRETEND I'M A GIRL" THING MIGHT NOT HAVE HAPPENED deuce: T PANTS LOOK HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY I'M SORRY I HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID SO I WENT FOR IT pants: T DEUCE IF I WASN'T SO STONED MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE SUCKED ALL THE DICKS IN THE ROOM TWICE deuce: T PANTS MY COUNT IT WAS A LITTLE OVER THREE TIMES AROUND THE ROOM

pants: WANG WANG WANG WANG! WANG! WANG! pants: COME ON PEOPLE spigot: WANG WUH WUH pants: YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED spigot: I'M A LITTLE PUFFY J/K!!!!!!!!!! WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG

deuce: I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE SENDMAIL THING spigot: A LITTLE SICK OF POPTARTS deuce: I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY YOU SURE ATE ENOUGH spigot: ONE MORE BOX OF APPLE JACKS AND THEN THAT'S PROBABLY ENOUGH spigot: ARE YOU JENNA JAMESON BECAUSE I AM SERIOUSLY STIFF deuce: I SWEAR I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO LEGAL OBLIGATION TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION

spigot: I THINK IF ***JACK NICHOLSON*** spigot: WAS PRESIDENT PLUMPF spigot: IT WOULD SOUND A LITTLE SOMETHING . . . . . . . . . . . LIKE THIS: spigot: YOU HAVE 0 FREE ARTICLES LEFT THIS MONTH spigot: YOU OBVIOUSLY LOVE GREAT JERK CITY COMICS.

deuce: you're a national treasure pants: does god love me deuce: he's sort of indifferent deuce: but not really hostile deuce: just a little tired of your shit pants: who wouldn't be

atandt: DID SOMEONE SAY FOOD deuce: SHUT UP ALREADY atandt: I FEEL UNLOVED deuce: AND PROBABLY A LITTLE UNINTERESTING atandt: THAT TOO

spigot: LARPING AS A RAPIST spigot: IF ABRAHAM LINCOLN WERE ALIVE TODAY HE COULD MAKE A LOG CABIN OUT OF TWIX spigot: AND KEEP VICODINS IN HIS HAT

net: I'D LIKE YOU TO GRAB ME ABOUT THE NUTSACK TO GET A GOOD FEEL FOR JUST HOW GAY I AM pants: HMM THIS WILL REQUIRE A LONG SERIES OF PROBING AND SUCKING net: OR JUST A GOOD FEEL pants: MUCH LIKE THE MOON LANDING (FAKED) net: PLEASE DO NOT FAKE THE SUCKING

deuce: RUBBING THE NUTS (TO MAKE FIRE)

: UNITED COLORS OF GAY first virus: HELLO - I AM THE AIDS VIRUS. PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE THIS GUY IS TOO *GAY* second virus: YEAH WHAT HE SAID HUGALUGALUGH COCKS : ĝi estas finfina

deuce: I'D FEEL A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE ABOUT BEING HERE IF YOU GUYS WERE FUNNIER spigot: COCKS AND NUTS PRODDING ME THROUGH ADOLESCENCE

(pants): PENIS PUMP(S) deuce: ONE OR MORE PENIS PUMPS deuce: PROBABLY MORE (deuce): A LOT MORE

spigot: MY VOICE IS CHANGING PEOPLE BUT I'M STILL GAY spigot: COCKS AND NUTS PRODDING ME THROUGH ADOLESCENCE deuce: I'D FEEL A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE ABOUT BEING HERE IF YOU GUYS WERE FUNNIER

pants: i was thinking about drowning myself but i can't do it alone pants: need you to stand on my neck pants: also gonna need a lot of piss pants: i'll get the u-haul and you start lugging jugs down to the first floor pants: we're gonna do this deuce: this sounds like a lot of work pants: but think of the ratings

spigot: IS ANYONE HERE TALKING ABOUT PRICKS?????? pants: NO spigot: I HAVE A LOT TO CONTRIBUTE

deuce: PEE HOLE (THAT'S ME) atandt: POO HOLE (ALSO YOU) deuce: YOU HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT ANATOMY SON

pants: BLOWING DUDES IS THIRSTY WORK deuce: EWWWWWWW

spigot: SOMEONE NEEDS THE NIGHTTIME SNIFFLING SNEEZING COUGHING ACHING WHEEZING STUFFY-HEAD FEVER SO YOU CAN SUCK A DICK MEDICINE

dick: IF THEY CAN PUT A MAN ON THE MOON YOU CAN SURE AS HECK QUIT RAPING ME deuce: DAS BOOT

deuce: I BURPED deuce: DO YOU FORGIVE ME pants: NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN :MANS_SHOE:

pants: MY FIST pants: YOUR CUNT pants: FIGHT THE POWER

pants: I DON'T SEE WHY WE CAN'T BUILD OUR OWN MOLEST VICTIM

spigot: i would get a medium-to-large plush minion, stuff it down the toilet, then take a day off work while an expensive plumber describes the problem

spigot: STANDING ON A CHAIR AND BEATING OFF, HOPING THE VIBRATIONS RESONATE THROUGH OUR INTERGALACTIC COMMUNITY AND BROADCAST A MESSAGE TO GAY ALIENS (OR AS I LIKE TO CALL THEM "MEXICANS") deuce: NO I THINK YOU'RE THINKING OF THE EUROPEANS (ANYONE FROM EUROPE REALLY) spigot: I THINK I KNOW HOW TO REFER TO THE COCKS I SUCK THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH spigot: (TURNING AROUND AND ERASING SOMETHING IN A NOTEBOOK, SCRIBBLING IN WHATEVER YOU SAID)

pants: FROGS LIKE FROG FOOD

atandt: ARE WE ALL MET? ozone: PAT, PAT: AND HERE'S A MARVELLOUS CONVENIENT PLACE FOR OUR REHEARSAL. THIS GREEN PLOT SHALL BE OUR STAGE, THIS HAWTHORN-BRAKE OUR TIRING-HOUSE; AND WE WILL DO IT IN ACTION AS WE WILL DO IT BEFORE THE DUKE atandt: PETER QUINCE,-- atandt: THERE ARE THINGS IN THIS COMEDY OF PYRAMUS AND THISBY THAT WILL NEVER PLEASE. FIRST, PYRAMUS MUST DRAW A SWORD TO KILL HIMSELF; WHICH THE LADIES CANNOT ABIDE. HOW ANSWER YOU THAT? net: BY'R LAKIN, A PARLOUS FEAR.

ozone: BY'R LAKIN, A PARLOUS FEAR. net: WELL, WE WILL HAVE SUCH A PROLOGUE; AND IT SHALL BE WRITTEN IN EIGHT AND SIX atandt: NOT A WHIT: I HAVE A DEVICE TO MAKE ALL WELL. WRITE ME A PROLOGUE; AND LET THE PROLOGUE SEEM TO SAY, WE WILL DO NO HARM WITH OUR SWORDS, AND THAT PYRAMUS IS NOT KILLED INDEED; atandt: AND, FOR THE MORE BETTER ASSURANCE, TELL THEM THAT I, PYRAMUS, AM NOT PYRAMUS, BUT BOTTOM THE WEAVER: THIS WILL PUT THEM OUT OF FEAR.

net: WELL, WE WILL HAVE SUCH A PROLOGUE; AND IT SHALL BE written: EIGHT AND SIX atandt: NO, MAKE IT TWO MORE; LET IT BE WRITTEN IN EIGHT AND EIGHT ozone: WILL NOT THE LADIES BE AFEARD OF THE LION? pants: I FEAR IT, I PROMISE YOU atandt: MASTERS, YOU OUGHT TO CONSIDER WITH YOURSELVES: TO BRING IN -- GOD SHIELD US! -- A LION AMONG LADIES, IS A MOST DREADFUL THING; atandt: FOR THERE IS NOT A MORE FEARFUL WILD-FOWL THAN YOUR LION LIVING; AND WE OUGHT TO LOOK TO 'T ozone: THEREFORE ANOTHER PROLOGUE MUST TELL HE IS NOT A LION

pants: do girls have wieners or is that a military industrial complex thing pants: eisenhower warned us about traps deuce: ja ja, dick und balls

deuce: COULD LISA SIMPSON NOT SING PLEASE

spigot: FOLKS CAN WE HAVE JUST A MOMENT FOR HARVEY MILK AND FORMER GOVERNOR MOSCONE spigot: HGLAUGHALUTGHALU spigot: THLTHLTH spigot: GLKGLKGLKGKLG spigot: JEAN CHARLES YOU FOOL YOU HAVE LEFT GAY VOICEMAIL TO THE ENTIRE COMPANY

deuce: COULD WE PLEASE HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR MY BONER : DEUCE SNIFFLES QUIETLY deuce: THANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

spigot: A SOMBER MOMENT OF SILENCE spigot: HEY EVERYONE!! HEIL HITLER!! DICKS!!! spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE spigot: PSYCHE!!! DICKS DICKS DICKS!!!!! spigot: MULLETS!!!!

: OH BIONIC WEDNESDAY WE HARDLY KNEW YE

spigot: a moment of silence for the heat death of the visible universe

pants: HUGALUGAHUGAGAHULAHGLUHAULGHLHAG pants: BLAGHLUABLALUGBLAGLGAHULBAGHLUGAHULAHLAGHBLALGUHAG pants: HALUBGALUGHLBAGLHUBAGAGHALUALUGBAG pants: LGAUHGLBAGBLUABLAGULABGALGUHALBGLUBAG pants: BULAGBALGBHALUGHALUHGVBALGBLAG pants: PFFT PFFFFFT CAT HAIR PFFFT pants: LUGHBALAULGBLAGHULBAGLUBAGLHUALHALG

net: IT'S A MORAL DILEMMA net: ALSO A BABY PUMPING LEMMA deuce: PARSE ERROR BEFORE LEMMA

atandt: A TRAIL OF CORN atandt: HMM THE PROVERBIAL MYSTERY OH TO FOLLOW THE PATH LESS -- pants: I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR COCK UNTIL YOU'RE BLUE IN THE FACE AND I'M NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE

pants: JERKCITY IS BOTH EDUCATIONAL AND ENTERTAINING pants: DRUGS HELP US PLAY deuce: I CALL IT EDUTAINMENT

deuce: I LIKE THIS WORD: EGGERY deuce: ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S IN COMIC SANS BUT EVEN WITHOUT THAT deuce: SAY IT WITH ME: EGGERY

effigy: CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE,MEET ASS deuce: AND THUSLY A NEWALLIANCE WAS FORGED

pants: LET'S GET READY TO DIZZY pants: DID YOU SAY A VISCERA MUSICAL pants: NOW WE CAN GET IT ON pants: OH BABY pants: OH DARLING pants: >>>SEXUAL<<< pants: MISTAKING YOU FOR DINNER ON PURPOSE pants: STAY IN YOUR HOMES

pants: a new prime number???????? i bet it's 17

pants: WILLING TO BE GAY, TO PAY EXTRA TO BE EXTRA GAY pants: BUT NOT WILLING TO PAY EXTRA AND ONLY GET GAY pants: JACKING OFF, JACKING UP AND DOWN AND OUT THE DOOR AND DOWN THE BLOCK pants: FOR CIGARETTES, DICKLICKING pants: MOSTLY DICKLICKING AS I DO NOT SMOKE pants: THEN AGAIN MAYBE SOME DICKLICKING pants: WHO REALLY KNOWS pants: SCOTLAND YARD CALLED, THEY NEED DICK pants: SO DID ONE POLICE PLAZA AND THE LAPD pants: MULTIPLE ORDERS OF deuce: IF YOU WOULD JUST SHUT UP FOR TEN SECONDS I COULD SPURT THIS LOAD ALL OVER YOUR DUMB FAT FACE

: SPURTY FROG!!! : WHY YOU NO BINHEX?!? pants: SOMEBODY TELL ROTTEN STAFF DUDER THAT HE LEFT HIS BONG HERE atandt: YOU BE FREDO AND I'LL BE THE FISHING BOAT pants: CLAP LOUDER??????????? atandt: I CAN HANDLE THINGS! I'M SMART! : pants > COCKS : to pants -> COCKS (19:04) pants: YAMS ARE PEOPLE TOO atandt: MY OFFER IS THIS: NOTHING

deuce: WANG COMPUTERS pants: EATING THE HOLY KORAN ??? spigot: I DON'T KNOW WHAT "CREME DE LA FACE" IS ALL ABOUT BUT I'M CROSSING THE STREET

atandt: CAN WE HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION deuce: I SUPPOSE atandt: HOW ARE YOU deuce: I'M ALL RIGHT atandt: GOOD GOOD, ME TOO deuce: WANT TO SUCK MY COCK

pants: I DON'T CARE TO CLICK ON THINGS pants: THEY CAN CHECK IN WITH ME IF THEY WANT SOMETHING

spigot: WITH MY ZOOM LENS I CAN SEE SOMEONE HAS THROWN AWAY A PERFECTLY GOOD COPY OF ANNIE AND THE MAGIC DILDO spigot: I HOPE SHE FINDS WHATEVER IT IS SHE'S LOOKING FOR spigot: THE REAL MAGIC WAS IN HER REAR END THE WHOLE TIME

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE THAN A PERSISTENT RECRUITER??? A PERSISTENT RECRUITER WHO THINKS HE'S A COMEDIAN

spigot: I UPLOADED A PICTURE OF MY BREAKFAST pants: CAN I SEE???? spigot: (VOMITS)

pants: HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING (TIED AROUND MY WIENER WITH THE OTHER END TIED TO THE DOOR KNOB ) deuce: IF YOU'RE TYING ONE END OF THE STRING TO YOUR WANG AND THE OTHER TO A DOORKNOB ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL YOUR WIENER OFF AS IF IT'S A BAD TOOTH deuce: PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL BACK AT 555 UP YOUR FAT ASS

pants: I'M GONNA GET A PIECE OF THAT deuce: SIR I ONLY GIVE IT UP TO THOSE WORTHY pants: I GOT MONEY deuce: I CHARGE AT LEAST 10 CENTS pants: HOLD ON deuce: PRICE IS UP TO 15 CENTS pants: I HAVE 7 pants: WAIT pants: 6 deuce: OKAY BACK DOWN TO 10 CENTS pants: WHAT IF I SPURT WHILE WE DICKER deuce: LOOK I'M JUST THE CLERK BEHIND THE COUNTER I CAN'T MAKE POLICY

deuce: HOLY FUCKING SHIT I AM TIRED pants: IS THIS A GOOD TIME TO ASK YOU FOR A PIGGYBACK RIDE TO CHINATOWN pants: SO SERIOUSLY DO YOU MIND IF I STOP DROP AND JACK IT deuce: STOP ASKING FOR PERMISSION FOR THINGS YOU'RE GOING TO JUST DO ANYWAY

(spigot): PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT COMEDY FREQUENTLY COMES FROM A PLACE OF DEEP AND PROFOUND PAIN RIGHT HERE IN MY DONG AREA

pants: let's make the stall a place of silent reflection from now on

pants: JACK ME OFF deuce: N pants: PLZ deuce: NN

spigot: when people are at a party drinking wine in a box i take it out of the box so they have to refill their glasses by squeezing a plastic bag of hospital urine

spigot: HERE'S A PLATE OF FUCKING FIGS WE CAN ALL SHARE

spigot: STALKING AND KILLING WHOEVER DREAMED UP PORN MODELS PAINTED UP WITH CLOWN FACES AND CIRCUS MOTIFS pants: STARTING TO THINK THAT A REAL HUSTLER PHOTOGRAPHER WOULDN'T BE NAKED ALSO

dick: GLORIOUS ORGAN dick: NEAR PERFECT DICK dick: FONDLING ORPHANS dick: QUITE A NEAT TRICK dick: THANK YOU

pants: IT SEEMS LIKE A POINTLESS ACT WITHOUT THE ASPHYXIATION

: SPIGOT APPEARS IN A POOFY CLOUD OF GAY FATNESS spigot: I DON'T UNDERSTAND spigot: YOU'VE ALL BEEN IDLE FOR HALF AN HOUR BUT ALL THE STALLS ARE EMPTY

hanford: READY hanford: AND hanford: ACTION deuce: FUCK YOU hanford: CUT

dick: AMERICA RUNS ON DUNKIN deuce: MY BALLS ARE A POTEMKIN VILLAGE pants: I WIL PRAY FOR YOU

spigot: T PANTS DO YOU TAKE PULL REQUESTS pants: URRRRK SMALL PINCH spigot: NNNNNNNGGGGG YOU MAY FEEL A SLIGHT PRICK pants: A POUNDING SENSATION IN YOUR REAR END

spigot: T PANTS IS 15 A POWER OF 2 pants: T SPIGOT I N C E P T I O N

deuce: CODENAME: PILE OF SHIT spigot: IS MY HIDEOUS FAT FACE A POWER OF 2 pants: HUGS FOR ALL

pants: I HEAR THE DICKS COMING pants: HIDE atandt: A POX ON YOUR HOUSE

pants: PRAY FOR COCK pants: PRAY WITH ME NOW pants: LET US PRAY pants: FOR COCK deuce: GHGLHGAHLGHLAGH pants: TOGETHER ..... WE WILL ........ PRAY FOR COCK pants: OH DEAR LORD GOD IN HEAVEN deuce: LHGAHLAGHLGHLGALHAGHLGALH DOWN HE DRAIN WE GO

pants: T DEUCE I HAVEN'T LEFT THE HOUSE ALL WEEK DO I WIN A PRIZE (OR GET A MEDAL OR SOMETHING) deuce: T PANTS WE'RE ALL TRAVELLING THROUGH TIME AT A CONSTANT RATE OF ONE SECOND PER SECOND deuce: NOW WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A HANDJOB (NO INSTRUCTION REQUIRED) pants: PUTTING ON MY HULK HANDS

atandt: I WAS PROMOTED TO HEAD OF THE ADJUSTMENT COMMITTEE atandt: IF THE INMATE IS SENTENCED BY THE ADJUSTMENT COMMITTEE TO ISOLATION TIME, HE WILL BE PLACED IN A SEGREGATION UNIT TO AWAIT REVIEW atandt: THAT'S WHEN I SNEAK IN AND LICK THE DICK

deuce: NEXT TIME I ASK FOR A PROOF OF LIFE I WOULD LIKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN STILL-WARM SHIT

spigot: EVERYONE AT MISSION FARMERS MARKET LOOKS LIKE A PRUNE OR A CORN COB deuce: N E V E R F O R G E T MY COCK pants: MAYBE SHOW THEM YOUR DONG AND ASK THEM IF THEY CAN TUG OUT SOME WEEDS spigot: WHERE DO I FLUSH MY CATS spigot: IF YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM ON A SIDEWALK THAT ISN'T DESIGNATED THEY CONFISCATE THE WHOLE THING UNTIL TRIAL AND EVEN THEN SOMETIMES YOU NEVER SEE IT AGAIN

spigot: CAN YOU DO THAT spigot: IS THAT ON THE MENU spigot: SHOULD WE HOP ON A QUICK CALL

pants: I TRY AND TAKE A QUICK NAP BUT WHAM BAM DICKS pants: COME ON PEOPLE pants: I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP

deuce: WE SHOULD PERFORM MOUTH TO MOUTH (NOT TO RESUSCITATE BUT TO PUNISH)

pants: IS IT WRONG TO BEAT OFF WHILE WATCHING NICOLAS WINDING REFN'S <I>DRIVE</I> HE SAID HTML-LY pants: HMM pants: NO OF COURSE NOT OF COURSE IT ISN'T HUFF HUFF HUFF HLAGUHLAGLAG

spigot: HE RHYMED DONGS WITH TONGS? BONGS IS MORE ON BRAND, I BLEW IT pants: THE IRONY IS WE WILL USE TONGS TO REPLACE THE T WITH A B spigot: NOT IF JEAN-CHARLES USES TONGS TO DIP THE T INTO LIQUID HYDROGEN BUT HE FUMBLES HIS GRIP AND IT SHATTERS ON THE FLOOR spigot: CAMERA PUSHES INTO HIS STUPID FAT FACE: DOZENS OF PASSENGERS SUFFOCATING AND DYING (A REAL PUSH-AND-SMOOSH)

pants: HAVE YOUR PHOTO TAKEN WITHA STORMTROOPER FOR $3.00 deuce: YOU MEAN A REAL ONE RIGHTNOT LIKE THE ONES IN NAZI GERMANY

deuce: I GUARANTEE YOU THAT ONE GOOD PUNCH TO THE HEAD DURING HER FORMATIVE YEARS WOULD HAVE SET THAT BITCH STRAIGHT

atandt: DICKS atandt: IT'S LIKE atandt: A RECURRING THEME pants: ALMOST AS IF WE ARE SOMEHOW OBSESSING OVER THEM pants: YET .............. STILL ........ pants: THEY ARE SO WANKY atandt: THEY REALLY ARE, AREN'T THEY pants: INDEED

pants: HE JUST SUCKS OTHER PEOPLE OFF Parallels Tools Installation Agent Please Wait Installing Parallels Tools: 27% \\\ You will need to Restart Windows to /// /// finish the Parallels Tools installation \\\ pants: AND IT'S A REGULAR-LIKE THING WITH HIM pants: SIGN HERE AND HERE AND HERE AND INITIAL HERE

spigot: SORRY FOLKS!!!!!!! NOT JOHN KENNEDY, JUST MTV'S KENNEDY !! SINCERELY CNN spigot: NOW HERE'S AN ENDLESSLY CYCLING RECAP OF HER BRILLIANT CAREER spigot: HERE'S ME WEARING THICK HORN-RIMMED GLASSES BECAUSE URBAN OUTFITTERS HAD A SALE spigot: HERE'S ME BLOWING KURT LODER ON HIS PRIVATE YACHT spigot: MY FIRST PAYCHECK !!! BIG SMILES spigot: OOPS !!! UNEARTHED TAPE OF ME AND ED POWERS spigot: HEY DID I EVER TELL YOU I WAS ALMOST ON LETTERMAN ?!?!?! spigot: NO WONDER DANA PLATO OVERDOSED HERSELF

dick: HOW MUCH COCK CAN A COCKSUCKER SUCK IF A COCKSUCKER COULD SUCK COCK? dick: ANSWER: ME.