spigot: HOW ABOUT LICKING FOLKS??? ??? THE LICKING????? ???????? pants: CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP deuce: T SPIGOT DOES THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH JODI FOSTER ozone: TWELVE deuce: T PANTS I DON'T GET THAT JOKE DO YOU : Microsoft Chat [x] : /!\ The user pants is not connected. : [OK]

pants: I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT pants: WHOEVER CLEANED THE BONG DID A NICE JOB EXCEPT THERE IS TOO MUCH LIQUID INSIDE AND I AM GETTING BLOWBACK deuce: T PANTS WOULDN'T THAT BE YOU pants: T DEUCE DO NOT BE INSULTING (CLEARLY AN AMATEUR IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WATER LEVEL)

deuce: JESUS CHRIST deuce: MY RESERVE IS DOWN TO EMPTY deuce: E--|-------------F

spigot: MY JOB IS NOT TO EDUTAIN, BUT RATHER TO INFOTATE

deuce: MY FARTS SMELL BAD: IT'S AMAZING THAT CONSIDERING THE COMPOSITION OF THE HUMAN BODY THAT SO MUCH SULFUR CAN COME OUT OF MY ASS IN GASEOUS FORM WITHOUT ME DYING (SULFUR HAS THE CHEMICAL SYMBOL S BY THE WAY) deuce: DICKS deuce: PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU'RE A GIRL

atandt: BONERS pants: LOWERCASE BONERS ??? atandt: I BELIEVE I AM PREPARED FOR LOWERCASE BONERS pants: KNEEL BEFORE ZOD pants: SORRY WHERE WERE WE atandt: LOWERCASE BONERS

spigot: MY ROD AND MY STAFF deuce: T SPIGOT WAIT ARE YOU SOME SORT OF NINJA AND IF SO WHAT SORT deuce: T SPIGOT (TOTALLY OPENING YOU UP FOR A QUEER JOKE HERE) spigot: MY BALLS ARE HIDING SOMEWHERE IN THE SYSTEM FOLDER!!!!!!!!! spigot: HINT: STARTUP ITEMS

atandt: PEOPLE atandt: MY FACE IS NOT A ZERO-SUM GAME deuce: T ATANDT YOU ARE CORRECT (I ALWAYS WIN) atandt: HOLY deuce: LET'S TALK GAY GAME THEORY

deuce: EVERYBODY SHUT UP YOU'RE MAKING MY BONER GO AWAY

bung: IT'S HOW STEAK IS DONE deuce: THREE DICKS HALF OFF spigot: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERY CHRISTMAS

spigot: LET'S TAKE A TRIP INTO MY PANTS spigot: ON THE LEFT YOU CAN SEE MY BALLS AND ON THE RIGHT, MY BONER deuce: STOMPING THE EXHIBIT spigot: SINGLE FILE FOR GOD'S SAKE

pants: ALREADY TOTALLY SICK OF QUEER EYE deuce: WHY DID IT TAKE YOU FIVE WEEKS WHAT TOOK ME 0.2 SECONDS deuce: "SHIT FAGGOTS" (CLICK)

pants: I'M COLD spigot: YOU NEED CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE DONG spigot: THINK OF ME AS THE DEEPAK CHOPACABRA pants: I WAS HOPING FOR MORE OF A DEEPTHROAT CHOPRA spigot: I WILL SEE YOUR DEEPTHROAT AND RAISE YOU A CHOPACABRA spigot: FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF spigot: DEEPTHROAT CHOPACABRA spigot: WOULD YOU LIKE A BAG pants: I'LL EAT IT HERE

spigot: POPPING THE COCK OUT OF MY MOUTH FOR TWO SECONDS TO ENJOY A PEPSI spigot: PONK spigot: GLURF BLURF GLUH NEW GENERATION spigot: PONK

deuce: SOME MANNER OF FAGGOT spigot: SERVICE ME WITH DONG deuce: I'M FRESH OUT spigot: WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR BACKPACK (LOOKS LIKE DONG) deuce: STOP STARING

atandt: I THINK WE SHOULD ALL CRADLE MY BALLS CAREFULLY atandt: ARE YOU PEOPLE LISTENING atandt: ARE YOU THE POPE atandt: I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY atandt: YOUR POPENESS

spigot: THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE FIRST SNICKERS OF THE DAY BUT IT WON'T BE THE LAST!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN/ DISCOMFORT DOWN HERE spigot: DOWN OVER YONDER deuce: THINK PLEASANT THOUGHTS (BALLOONS, SPICKS, ETC.)

spigot: WHEN I JIZZ ON YOUR FACE, YOU FEEL spigot: [A] SASSY spigot: [B] REFRESHED

deuce: T ATANDT GIVE ME A RIDE atandt: T DEUCE HORSEY deuce: T ATANDT OKAY GIVE ME A LOLLIPOP atandt: T DEUCE SAY PLZ deuce: COCKS

spigot: WHAT IF WE DROP....... spigot: AN ATOMIC........ spigot: DONG?!?!?!?! pants: I WILL PRESS THE BUTTON

spigot: WHAT'S THE MATTER THERE, CHOPSTICKS?!?!?!? spigot: PREEZ I DROWN!!!!! spigot: CHONG BONG DONG?!?!? SAY WHAT?!?!? FONG LONG DUH???? spigot: SHOVE

deuce: HI pants: I LIKE TO TAKE ACID AND FUCK deuce: WHAT ARE YOU WEARING pants: I LIKE TO TAKE ACID AND FUCK deuce: SOMETHING FRILLY I HOPE pants: I LIKE TO TAKE ACID AND FUCK

net: I VOTED YES FOR WASHING YOUR DONG BEFORE PUTTING IT IN MY FACE BUT DID ANYONE LISTEN?????? deuce: T NET I LISTENED BUT CHOSE NOT TO ACT ON YOUR REQUEST deuce: T NET YOU SEE ??? DEMOCRACY WORKS

pants: LET'S GET LOOSE/FUNKY deuce: BOOT deuce: I HAVE COMMITTED A CRIME AGAINST MAN AND GOD pants: LIE DOWN ON THE COLD BATHROOM FLOOR WITH ME OW OW OWO WOW OW OWO OW OWOW QUIT IT WOSUK ^B(&GDSVBON O NL EWOKS

pants: I AM A YANKEE DOODLE DANDY deuce: THIS IS WHAT YOU SUCK deuce: THIS IS WHAT YOU PUT UP YOU pants: RIGHT deuce: THIS IS WHAT CALLS YOU AT NIGHT AND ASKS FOR A RIDE TO THE 7-ELEVEN pants: OH deuce: THIS IS WHAT FILES THE RESTRAINING ORDER pants: OH DEAR pants: WILL THERE BE BONERS IN HEAVEN deuce: GHLHLUAHAG

pants: QUEER IT UP A LITTLE IN THERE PLEASE spigot: FIVE MINUTE PRICK BREAK EVERYONE spigot: HOOF HURF HOMPH LICKING DUH spigot: THAT WAS LOVELY pants: YOU HOLD HIM AND I'LL CHOP HIS HEAD OFF

pants: DO YOU EVEN KNOW YOUR BRATPACK MEMBERS BY HEART pants: OR WERE YOU PULLING MY WANG OVER DEMI MOORE pants: BY THE SAME RULE ANDIE MACDOWELL IS A BRATPACKER pants: AND MOLLIE RINGWALD WASN'T EVEN IN ST ELMO'S FIRE pants: THIS IS THE STUPIDEST COCKSUCKING GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED

pants: SING IT NOW THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD deuce: THIS SONG ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH ME GETTING A BLACK EYE pants: AND ME PREGGERS deuce: RIGHT deuce: WE ALL HAVE OUR LOTS IN LIFE pants: SUDDENLY: GAY MARRIAGE

pants: I AM CAUSING YOUR XTERM TO SCROLL BWAHAHAHA pants: THE CHIEF CAUSE OF THE SCROLLING: ME deuce: THAT IS JUST PLAIN INCONSIDERATE pants: I, ALONE

deuce: HLGLHGAHLGAHLAGLHALHA spigot: DUH?!?! deuce: I THINK SO YES !!! NOT HAVING ANY IDEA WHAT WE'RE DISCUSSING spigot: DONGS??!??! EXHAUSTED REALLY QUITE HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TIRED spigot: COCTEAU TWINS?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

spigot: THAT WAS AN ADVENTURE IN THE TOILET pants: DID YOU DEFEAT THE TROLL IN COMBAT spigot: WHO PUT A PAMPHLET IN THE MAILBOX pants: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A TROLL IN THE BASEMENT spigot: I FOUND A SACK LUNCH AND ATE IT pants: HOLY CRAP THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF DOWN HERE

deuce: THE CUNT BONE CONNECTS TO THE SHIN BONE deuce: OR AT LEAST IT WILL AFTER MY REDESIGN

: DEUCE FAINTS net: SOMEONE GET THE SMELLING COCKS net: OH FORGET IT HE'S FAKING AGAIN deuce: YOU HAVE FOILED MY PERFECT METHOD OF GETTING COCKS ON DEMAND deuce: FOR THAT YOU SHALL BE MADE TO SUFFER

deuce: I GUARANTEE YOU THAT ONE GOOD PUNCH TO THE HEAD DURING HER FORMATIVE YEARS WOULD HAVE SET THAT BITCH STRAIGHT

spigot: THE ASHAMED LOWERCASE Y spigot: WOULD YOU LIKE TO LICK DICK?!?!!?!?!? spigot: y

atandt: HOPE FLOATS atandt: BUT NOT ALL MY POO FLOATS atandt: HELP ME OUT HERE deuce: I HAVE NO CONSTRUCTIVE ADVICE TO OFFER AT THIS JUNCTURE

net: "TITILLATING" deuce: WHEN YOU SAY THAT WORD I GET GOOSEBUMPS net: WHAT ABOUT "COCKSUCKING" deuce: NOPE THAT ONE DOESN'T DO IT FOR ME net: "RIMJOB" deuce: THAT ONE SCARES ME net: "BACKRUB" net: GETTING CREEPIER deuce: I ALREADY BEGAN RAPING YOU BEFORE YOU FINISHED TYPING THAT ONE (SO VERY HOT) net: IT'S NOT RAPE IF I DON'T STRUGGLE deuce: THAT'S FOR THE COURTS TO DECIDE MISTER net: WELL LET'S GET THE WHOLE THING ON VIDEOTAPE AS EVIDENCE deuce: IN JERKCITY STRIP FORM

pants: HERE'S THE DEAL pants: LEAN IN ALL CLOSE TO ME AND SHIT SO I CAN WHISPER pants: YOU DISTRACT THE TRANSIT COPS WITH A "PARTY CAR" AND I'LL EXPOSE MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM DURING THE CONFUSION !!! [REDACTED] BUT ME

spigot: DIAGNOSIS: HUMAN BEINGS ARE USELESS SHITCAKES IN THE MIDDLE OF COLD DARK SPACE

pants: AND I'M ALL YEAH BUT CAN YOU BEAT OFF TO THIS AND THEN THE COPS CAME pants: YOUR TODDLER UPSIDE DOWN IN A BUCKET pants: I SURE GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ALL THE PROBLEMS

atandt: LET'S ALL PUT YEARS AFTER OUR NAMES LIKE WINDOWS 95 atandt: I'LL BE ATANDT 2010 deuce: I HATE YOU atandt: NAN

pants: ALL I WANT IS YOUR TORSO

spigot: I'M AFRAID TO ORDER GAY PORN WITHOUT A SECURE SERVER deuce: MOTHERFUCKING FUCK deuce: URF deuce: ACTUALLY deuce: I'M PRETTY PROUD OF MY ABILITY TO ORDER INDECENT MATERIALS OVER THE WEB deuce: WITH OR WITHOUT SECURITY deuce: AFTER ALL deuce: EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE FREE ACCESS TO P-- deuce: [IT JUST ENDS THERE]

pants: COULD I GET SOME SERVICE HERE pants: AM I INVISIBLE pants: HELLOOOOO spigot: THE POINT IS NOT THAT AIDS IS A GAY DISEASE THE POINT IS PUSH THE DICK INTO MY FACE

atandt: EXCUSE ME SIR WE SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED YOUR PORNOGRAPHY atandt: THE NAUGHTY BITS HAVE BEEN LOST, BOTH HANDS ARE NOW FREE atandt: I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MYSELF deuce: I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S GAY NEVERTHELESS

pants: ONCE I CLAMP DOWN I WON'T LET GO pants: I'M JUST SAYING DON'T STAND SO CLOSE pants: HERE I GO HURBGGGGGGGGGGGSD&DISDPSG{{{{{{{{{{{ FOAMY

spigot: PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND MY BONER deuce: DONE spigot: JERK IT OR SOMETHING deuce: I'M CONFUSED WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO spigot: SERIOUSLY LOSING THE BONER HERE deuce: I PREFER TO SIMPLY SUMMARIZE BY ANYTHING WOMEN SAY IS FUNNY AND TO BE MOCKED

pants: WELL I WAS EXPECTING CANDY pants: INSTEAD I GET BLOOD AND GUTS AND HAIR AND WELL JUST GUNK pants: EATING YOU ANYWAY HUALGHALBGLUAGHBLSO 8DBLUG AUGOAB ATYGD9D }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} GOD FUCKING DAMN SHIT

deuce: FOUR STARS deuce: THEN THE COPS CAME

.(pants): OKAY I'M THINKING OF A NUMBER: 9 atandt: NINE .(pants): OH MY GOD YOU REALLY CAN HEAR MY THOUGHTS atandt: YES I REALLY CAN .(pants): HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING atandt: DUDE I KEEP TELLING YOU THIS IS A COMIC STRIP YOU'RE NOT REAL

atandt: I LIKE THE BEFRIENDING AND DRUGGING PART atandt: BUT atandt: I'LL HAVE TO PASS ON THE RANSACKING AND STEALING spigot: IS THAT ANYTHING LIKE COCKSUCKING

pants: IT STARTS IN THE ASS pants: IT GOES FROM THERE pants: IT'S CRUEL BUT FAIR pants: AND ALSO VERY FUNNY pants: SO GET IT TOGETHER pants: VOTE FOR ME IN SEPTEMBER pants: I LIKE DICK AND I LICK IT TOO pants: THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT AMERICA

spigot: FRESHLY BAKED DONGS!!!!!!! deuce: WHAT deuce: WHERE spigot: POINTING!!!!!!!!

deuce: I CALL IT "DOPEIFIED" pants: I PREFER TO THINK OF IT AS "FORTIFIED WITH POWERFUL MARIJUANA" pants: ALL THINGS CONSIDERED THAT'S JUST DANDY pants: MEANWHILE HERE I AM STUCK HERE IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC pants: A LOLLIPOP AND A COCONUT pants: HLAUGHULAHL LAGHLAGUH HLAGHL AHGLUHALGA SAID THE NATIVE pants: UBUGLHGBUG BUGBGU BGUH GUB UGHU BGUBG REPLIED THE TOURIST pants: WHO WANTS PIE

pants: SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU pants: YOU'RE STUPID AND YOU CAN'T SPELL WORDS IN THE ONE LANGUAGE YOU'RE EXPECTED TO KNOW pants: I'D EAT YOU AND MAKE YOU PART OF ME BUT THEN I'D BE A FUCKING LINKIN PARK FAN

pants: TIME AND TIME AGAIN YOU TALK AND ALL I HEAR AND SEE IS MICKEY MOUSE DANCING WITH THE BOAT IN STEAMBOAT WILLIE pants: YOUR PARENTS CALL EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE BUT I DON'T TELL THEN YOU'RE BURIED IN THE SANTA CRUZ MOUNTAINS INSIDE A CONCRETE-FILLED DRUM pants: I'D EAT THEM TO MAKE THEM A PART OF ME BUT }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} NO CARRIER GOD FUCKING DAMNIT SHIT FUCK GODDAMNIT JESUS CHRIST FUCK

pants: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE IT UP ON DEMAND YOU DUMB WHORE pants: YOU ARE A GODDAMN VENDING MACHINE WAS RE: OR ELSE pants: I DON'T NEED TO DEHUMANIZE YOU YOU'RE ALREADY A TOOL LIKE THE BOTTLE OPENER OR THE BONG

atandt: THIS IS A TEST atandt: LAUHGLUAHGLUAHLUAG atandt: DONE

pants: YOU LOVE IT WHEN THEY POKE pants: AS INDICATED BY POLLING DATA

spigot: I SHOULD TOTALLY USE MY PHONE TO TAKE PIX OF MY MOBLOG AND BLUETOOTH THEM TO MY AIRPORT IPOD WHILE I'M GARAGE BAND JAMMING WITH MY FELLOW ORKUTEERS AT COACHELLA spigot: WHEEZE PUFF PANT OH GOD MORE DICK spigot: HOMPTHLBLMRLBLOIHJRTH)(*JH

deuce: COCKS deuce: BONERS atandt: YOU'RE A ONE MAN SHOW deuce: IT'S MY ONLY OPTION (NO FRIENDS)

pants: WHERE CAN WE GO TO PROTEST NOISILY ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE pants: I AM THINKING THAT POTSTICKER PLACE NEAR HIGH STREET pants: A QUIET DEMONSTRATION INVOLVING SITTING STILL, EATING spigot: I HEREBY SMOKE THIS DOPE AND BEAT OFF TO THESE GIFS TO PROTEST THE UNITED STATES BEING KING OF THE WORLD

pants: OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP pants: OKAY TAKE TWO STEPS BACK

pants: PLEASE PAINT MY FACE RIGHT UP deuce: WHAT COLOR deuce: WHITE OR RED pants: I WAS THINKING OF A LOVELY TRANSLUCENT EGGWHITE

deuce: I HAVE PSYCHIC POWERS deuce: WATCH deuce: I PREDICT THAT I WILL BE RAPED IN A MOMENT deuce: BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR deuce: SEE WHAT DID I TELL YOU: ESP WINS AGAIN

deuce: T DICK LET US RUB OUR DICKS TOGETHER TO MAKE FIRE (RE: FRICTION) dick: T DEUCE WELL OK BUT I WILL LET YOU RUB YOURS AGAINST MINE (SO YOU ARE THE GAY ONE, NOT ME) deuce: ACCORDING TO EINSTEIN IT DOES NOT MATTER !!!!!!!!! HEAT WILL BE GENERATED IN ANY CASE dick: OKAY TECHNICALLY THAT'S GALILEAN RELATIVITY BUT LET NOT THAT INTERRUPT US

spigot: MWAHAHA!!!! spigot: MY EVIL TEXT LAUGHTER MEANS I'M OBESE AND I LIKE INDUSTRIAL MUSIC spigot: MWAHAHA spigot: I HAVE SUCCESFULLY ARRANGED MY STAR WARS FIGURINES

atandt: I THINK I'M FINALLY FIGURING THIS CRAP OUT deuce: DICKS AND SO FORTH AND SO ON atandt: PULL THE HANDLE deuce: PELLET POPS OUT atandt: TOILET FLUSHES deuce: (IT'S A STRANGE TOILET)

ozone: SEE FOR YOURSELF ozone: CLOSER ozone: CLOSER deuce: APTHTHGHBHHFFFF YOU TRICKED ME

spigot: DEAR ANNABEL CHONG spigot: I NOTICED IN YOUR GANG BANG VIDEO HOW COMPLETELY USELESS AND UNWATCHABLE YOU ARE spigot: NOT TO MENTION HOW DISINTERESTING AND DICK-LIMPENING

pants: SOMEBODY LICK THIS deuce: WHAT WHERE pants: THRUSTING IT BEFORE YOU AND ASKING POLITELY deuce: HURP pants: YOU ARE A GREAT AMERICAN HERO

spigot: I DON'T EVEN THINK "WANGLY" IS A WORD BUT CLEARLY MY CARDKEY IS BROKEN spigot: MAYBE MY ATM CARD spigot: MAYBE MY LIBRARY CARD spigot: MAYBE MY STARBUCKS CARD spigot: I APPEAR TO BE FIRED spigot: THE WRAPPER SAID THERE WOULD BE CHOCOLATE CHIPS spigot: BUT INSTEAD IN ONE THERE WERE RAISINS spigot: ALSO I CANNOT TELL IF THAT IS AN ALMOND

pants: SHOESHINE, GENTLEMEN? deuce: I'LL HAVE A BLOWJOB GUV pants: RIGHTO AVE A SEAT ERE ISTER deuce: I WOULD PREFER RIGHTY-O FOR MY TIGHT-LIPPED BUSY BLOWJOB : PANTS SHINES YOUR SHOES INSTEAD (FOR SOME REASON)

spigot: TIME TO HIT THE ROAD spigot: HIT THE BONG spigot: HIT THE PORN spigot: AND HIT THE SACK spigot: SECRETLY I'M GOING TO BEAT OFF IN THE CAR

pants: HELP ME UP deuce: I WILL DO NOT SUCH THING UNTIL YOU SIGN THIS WAIVER pants: HERE HERE HERE HERE AND INITIAL HERE ????? deuce: AND I'M AFRAID WE'LL NEED A BLOOD SAMPLE pants: ALSO HERE OOHH HLUAGHLBAG BULGG HBLUABAG SECRETLY SPURTING

atandt: WHAT IF I'M BOTH deuce: MAN TALKING, SHUT UP atandt: SUCKING AND TUGGING LIKE I GOT A PURPOSE atandt: T DEUCE MY MOUTH IS YOUR PRIVATE MUSIC FACTORY deuce: DISGUSTING deuce: AND YET SOMEHOW INTRIGUING atandt: WHAT IF I'M BOTH deuce: HEY SHUT UP MAN TALKING

spigot: HOLY BALLS IN THE FACE AND NECK AREA spigot: CODEWARRIOR SAYS I'M USING A FILE IN THE TRASH, IS THAT OKAY? spigot: SHOULD I PUT MY WHOLE PROJECT FOLDER IN THE TRASH TOO? spigot: BETTER CALL METROWEKRS spigot: YES I HAVE SOME C++ QUESTIONS TOO spigot: IS IT DIFFERENT FROM REGULAR C (spigot): ALSO I CAN'T PRINT spigot: AND MY BOSS IS TRYING TO DERIVE A GLORYHOLE FROM MY MOUTH

spigot: CAN THE ENTIRE MIDDLE SECTION OF AMERICA PLEASE SECEDE FROM OUR UNION AND TAKE THEIR BIBLES AND DONKEYS????? pants: MATT DRUDGE AND ALL THE BALDWIN BROTHERS AT ONCE ?????? THIS I GOTTA SEE AND BEAT OFF TO

spigot: COME BACK HERE YOU STUPID PRICK deuce: ARE YOU GAY AND READY FOR J/O spigot: ONE BIG FAT QUART deuce: GODDAMN FUCKERS spigot: DO YOU EAT THE SAND OR JUST LIVE IN IT deuce: LHABLHABHLABHLABHLAB

pants: HEX-E-POO HEX-ON-YOU pants: WE CALL THIS RUNNING A TRAIN SO IF YOU'D PLEASE FORM A LINE TO THE LEFT pants: YOU DON'T NEED EYES TO SUCK DICK (SCENE DELETED) THERE WE GO

pants: IF YOU CALL IT A SEX CRIME, I CALL IT ABSOLUTELY THE ONLY THING THAT GETS ME HARD pants: I CARE MORE ABOUT MY EGO THAN WHETHER YOU REQUIRE FOOD, WATER pants: I CAN'T BEAT OFF IF YOU CRY

deuce: UNENTONASTIC pants: BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME IN ARAMAIC

deuce: AT FIRST NORAD THOUGHT IT WAS AN EMP OVER SAN FRANCISCO AND WENT TO HIGH ALERT BUT THEN JUST REALIZED IT'S DEUCE SPANKING IT BUT GOOD

spigot: OH spigot: WELL spigot: I'VE spigot: GOT A BIG ERECTION / IN MY PANTS spigot: IN MY PANTS spigot: YES I'VE GOT A BIG ERECTION / IN MY PANTS spigot: (IN MY PANTS) spigot: YES I'VE -- HANG ON pants: NEXT SLIDE PLEASE

.(pants): SOMEDAY I'M GONNA FUCK ME A PENGUIN pants: HELLO COCKMONSTER pants: IF YOU ARE NOT COCKMONSTER, CLICK HERE. ozone: I SAW YOU THINKING ABOUT FUCKING PENGUINS IN PANEL 1

pants: PISSING ON BITCHES AND RUNNING AWAY LIKE A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WHO PISSES

spigot: OKAY FOR FIVE MINS I'M GOING TO ROCK OUT WITH MY COCK OUT deuce: NOTED spigot: STARTING spigot: NOW spigot: I'M DONE I GUESS

pants: THIS IS JERKCITY 911 WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY atandt: THE BAD MAN HIT ME pants: YOU DON'T SAY atandt: WAL-MART ROLLS OUT 88 PER SONG SERVICE pants: CALLER WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY atandt: MOLEMEN WITH CHARCOAL HEARTS

spigot: NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY NOT GAY

deuce: NOW THAT WAS A POO TO BE RECKONED WITH !!! deuce: HIGH SMEAR QUOTIENT deuce: CRAM POTENTIAL spigot: YES BUT THEY ARE NOT THE VIDEOS I ***ORDERED***

spigot: I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING COOL ABOUT PUNCHING A FLORIST

spigot: C TO THE O TO THE OTHER C TO THE K TO THE S TO MY FACE pants: WAY TO SUCK IT spigot: LAUGH YOU DONGS

net: ARE YOU GUYS GAY net: BECAUSE IF YOU ARE I COULD REALLY USE SOME COCK OVER HERE pants: I AM NOT SURE (SPINNING AROUND IN CIRCLES TRYING TO CHECK MY OWN TAG) deuce: WATCHING, WAITING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO STRIKE net: RIGHT UP ME

deuce: WHERE IS THE PORN net: IN HERE (POINTING WITH FLASHLIGHT) deuce: GLARG net: CLOSER...

pants: COCKS POUNDING ME pants: WISH I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE pants: SOMEWHERE WARMER pants: THE COCKS CAN COME TOO pants: OR SHIT I DON'T KNOW I CAN VISIT THEM ON WEEKENDS

spigot: OKAY LADIES AND GERMS COMEDY HOUR spigot: I JUST FLEW IN FROM CHICAGO spigot: BOY IS MY MOUTH TIRED spigot: THANK YOU deuce: I DON'T GET IT pants: I DO pants: I WAS THAT MOUTH

spigot: LET'S GO TO THE FOOD COURT AND GET GIRLS spigot: WE CAN TALK TO THEM ABOUT HOW MY PROGRAM DOESN'T COMPILE deuce: WHOOPS CRAPPED MYSELF

spigot: OKAY EVERYONE WITH MORE THAN ONE COCK IN THEIR MOUTH PLEASE SHARE WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR pants: JUST MOVE ONE OVER THANKS spigot: EVERYONE WHO'S LEGS OR ARMS ARE HANGING UNDER THE STALL OR OVER THE DOOR PLEASE MOVE CLOSER TOWARD THE CENTER pants: SUPER spigot: I KNOW THIS IS AWKWARD BUT WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE OLD WAY OF BALANCING ON THE TOILET WITH ONE PAIR OF LEGS VISIBLE UNDER THE DOOR pants: THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE

pants: THIS STALL COULD USE SOME CURTAINS (AND A MORE NARROW GLORY HOLE) spigot: WE COULD DISGUISE IT AS A VOTING BOOTH pants: PULL THE LEVER FOR DICK spigot: KEEP PULLING IT spigot: NEARLY THERE BUH DURF NO OFFENSE BUT H. ROSS PEROT SOUNDS LIKE A STEAK SAUCE BUH HURRRRR I'M VOTING PEOPLE ALL OVER THE BALLOT BOX FOR THE LOVE OF HOLY GOD

spigot: IS THERE ANY ROOM IN YOUR HEART FOR MY FAT DICK spigot: LET OUT THE HATE AND LET IN THE PISS spigot: PLEASE deuce: SHIT

pants: SYNDICATED BY LIVEJOURNAL ?????? ????????? ????????/////// WHAT IF MY MOUTH AND FACE AND NECK AREN'T BLOGWORTHY ????????? pants: I DID WHAT YOU SAID AND SET NMBCLUST TO 65535 AND MAX_KMAPENT TO 1500 AND THE FUCKING THING STOPPED CRASHING pants: I BROKE INTO THE HOUSE TO STEAL THE BUNNY (NO MONEY WAS TAKEN)

spigot: HERE'S THE PLAN: YOU RUN TO THE HOUSE AND GET THE KEG, I'LL SIT HERE AND LICK MY OWN DICK spigot: NO WAIT spigot: YES YES GO WITH IT

spigot: (SOBS) NOW WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO PUT THEM IN A NURSING HOME pants: SOMETIMES I THINK YOU SPELL THINGS WRONG JUST TO GET ATTENTION (MYTOUNGE FEELS WIERD)

(spigot): CONCERNED ABOUT AREA 51 deuce: I'M CONCERNED ABOUT MY LACK OF PORNOGRAPHY spigot: C O I N C I D E N C E ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

spigot: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NORMAL SEX spigot: PUT YOUR FACE IN THE TOILET AND LET ME POO ON YOU

pants: EXPELLED FROM THE INSTITUTE FOR THE GIFTED (MY PARTICULAR MUTANT POWER WAS MAKING EVERYBODY SICK) pants: PPPFFT OH GROSS THIS IS YESTERDAY'S COLD COFFEE PFFFT PFFFFFT NOW I'M GAY FOR SURE pants: I SWEAR TO GOD THE PURPLE MAN TOLD ME TO DO THIS UBLHBLUB HALUHLABUHLAB

atandt: HE SAID HE WAS A PENGUIN THEN ATTACKED MY DICK AND BALLS COMBO WITH PECKING AND SQUAWKING hanford: PANTS SAID (AND I'M QUOTING HERE) "I CAN'T BEAT OFF UNLESS HER MASCARA IS RUNNING" atandt: NEVER GET OUT OF THE BOAT hanford: NEVER APPROACH THE NEST atandt: MAKING LOVE TO A MUPPET hanford: GO WEST YOUNG MEN (ALL AT ONCE LIKE A PILE OF HAMSTERS)

pants: JUST HEAR ME OUT: I CALL IT "HANDJOBS FOR THE HOMELESS" pants: I DON'T SO MUCH PLAY GRAND THEFT AUTO AS MUCH AS I KILL PROSTITUTES AND COPS YEAH I KNOW pants: MAKING UNCOMFORTABLE EYE CONTACT WITH THE AUDIENCE UNTIL THE CURTAIN FINALLY, FINALLY CLOSES

pants: MISTER ASHCROFT MISTER ASHCROFT I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK IF YOU PAY IN EUROS

spigot: CLEAR spigot: QUIT spigot: EX spigot: MAYBE /EX spigot: HOLY GOD I'M TRAPPED IN THE MATRIX deuce: FUCKING SPEAK ENGLISH spigot: DO YOU HAVE NOODLES AT YOUR HOUSE????????? deuce: RAMEN spigot: I JUST NEED A COCK AND A PLACE TO SIT spigot: OH MY WEARY WANDERING ASS

pants: IS THIS SEAT TAKEN pants: THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE US DO THIS FOR YEARS pants: WE LEARNED NOTHING

deuce: I WONDER WHAT CYNDI LAUPER IS DOING RIGHT NOW

deuce: T PANTS I THINK YOU'VE GOT SERIOUS EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS pants: EITHER WAY pants: I DON'T CARE pants: BUHUIBUBUBUB spigot: BUTTMAN PRESENTS BUBBLE BUTT BABES IV (NOTE: NOT HIV)

pants: T DEUCE XEARTH SAYS THE SUN IS COMING deuce: T PANTS IT IS VERY FAR OFF pants: T DEUCE IT IS COMING deuce: T PANTS IT IS ROUNDING THE CORNER YES deuce: T PANTS BUT YOU HAVE PLENTY OF DARK LEFT TO LICK DICK IN pants: T DEUCE IT IS JUST DAWNING ON US

deuce: IF YOU GUYS AT JERKCITY COULD DO A LITTLE LESS DICKSUCKING AND A LITTLE MORE WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO I THINK THIS WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE deuce: ON SECOND THOUGHT I WOULDN'T GET BLOWJOBS deuce: I RETRACT MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT pants: DICKSUCKING IS IMPORTANT

atandt: T PANTS IT FELT LIKE RAPE EXCEPT I WAS DEAD pants: T ATANDT IT FELT LIKE RAPE BUGBAUGBUGBG (MOCKING YOU, TALKING IN A FUNNY GIRLY VOICE)

spigot: FIRST OF ALL I DON'T WRITE "GAY" ANYTHING spigot: BUT BE CAREFUL WHO YOU BITE - BECAUSE IN OUR NEXT STORY COUNT FAGGOT GETS AIDS AND DIES OF PNEUMONIA IN HIS CASTLE deuce: I'VE GOT MY ANSI C REFERENCE BOOK RIGHT HERE BUT IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING RAPED IN THE ASS AS PART OF THE OFFICIAL C LANGUAGE (MAYBE I SHOULD GET A C++ REFERENCE MANUAL)

spigot: JERK JERK JERK spigot: JERKITY SPURT spigot: JERK JERK JERK spigot: JERKITY SPURT atandt: *69

pants: WE THE PEOPLE pants: HULAGBLAUBALGHBLAG pants: HULK STRAIGHT pants: OKAY WHERE WAS I pants: RIGHT HERE WE GO pants: WELCOME TO JERKCITY pants: I'LL BE YOUR TOUR GUIDE pants: EVERYBODY FOLLOW ME (I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR OWN DRINKING WATER)

deuce: YOU'VE STRETCHED OUT MY FEELINGS AND MADE THEM HURT

spigot: I'M LEO THE LION spigot: PUT TRASH IN ME spigot: I'M LEO THE LION spigot: CANDY WRAPPERS GUM MMM YES GOOD FEED ME YOUR GARBAGE spigot: MMMM HOMPH GOOD I'LL EAT YOUR PAPER CUPS spigot: HEY LADY NICE BOOBS TOO BAD ABOUT YOUR FACE spigot: HOMPH HOMPH CHOMP spigot: I'M LEO THE LION

pants: THE JEWS ARE AT THE GATES pants: YOU NEVER HEAR THAT PHRASE DO YOU pants: IT'S ALWAYS THE ROMANS OR THE HUNS OR THE CUNTS

(deuce): DICKS (pants): DICKS (pants): WHY ARE WE WHISPERING (deuce): BECAUSE THAT WAY THE MONSTERS WON'T HEAR US

spigot: HOO HEY spigot: LOOK AT ME spigot: DANCING MAKES THE PRICKS GO AWAY spigot: HOO DOO spigot: BONK pants: GET OFF THE FLOOR AND BE A MAN

spigot: FOLKS BEFORE EARTH THERE WAS MARS, THE CENTER OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE TEEMING WITH CENTURIES OF DIVERSE CULTURES AND CIVILIZATIONS!!!!!! spigot: AND THEY BLEW IT spigot: SO SAVE THOSE CANS!!!!!!!!!

pants: YOU'RE THE DUKE OF NEW YORK !!!! YOU'RE A NUMBER 1 !!!!!!! pants: WON'T ANYONE ATROCITY ME pants: NATURE TEACHES US THAT IRAQI MEN WILL CLUSTER TO HUMP AND KISS IF LEFT UNATTENDED FOR TOO LONG

atandt: PARIS IN THE THE SPRING atandt: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO MY CAVERNOUS ASS atandt: I TOLD YOU I WAS HARDCORE atandt: THIS IS HOW AN ITALIAN DIES pants: YOU KILLED POKEY atandt: A MAN, A PLAN, A CANAL, PANAMA

deuce: FOLKS I'M SO DISTRAUGHT I HAVEN'T JERKED OFF IN THREE DAYS deuce: WHEN I FINALLY GO IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE SILLY STRING deuce: ALSO FLAMMABLE

pants: T DEUCE WHAT SIGNUM AM I pants: T DEUCE OR AM I TOO FAT AND THEREFORE DON'T GET MY OWN SIGNUM deuce: UH pants: HAVE I STUMPED THE PANEL OR WHAT deuce: I LEFT THE BOOZE IN THE CAR GO GET IT

pants: DID YOU KNOW THAT THE NORMAL COST FOR SUPER-VI@G-R@ IS $20, PER DOSE? WE ARE RUNNING A HOT SPECIAL!! T0DAY ITS ONLY AN AMAZING}}}}}}}}}}}} NO CARRIER

spigot: DO THESE PASTRIES/SAUSAGES MAKE ME LOOK FAT deuce: WHEN YOU TUCK A THOUSAND OF THEM UNDER YOUR SHIRT/PANTS TO HIDE THEM THEN YES THEY DO

spigot: SOMEONE SLATHER ME UP WITH BUTTER BECAUSE I'M A DELICIOUS APRICOT FAG MUFFIN spigot: OVER HERE IN THE VENDING MACHINE spigot: HELLO spigot: PUSH YOUR DOLLAR IN AND HIT D-5!!!!!! spigot: WHOA HOLY DIZZY FROM THE SPIRALING TWISTY COIL spigot: FALLING *BONK* THAT HURTS!!!!! spigot: NOW UNWRAP ME AND PUSH MY FACE IN THE TOILET!!!!! spigot: I'M DELICIOUS!!!!!

spigot: LET'S HEAR IT FOR SPIGOT EVERYONE COME ON spigot: WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN'T SURPRISE ME AT MY DOOR WITH COCKS AND GAYNESS spigot: I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO REOPEN OUR DISCUSSION ABOUT HOW GREAT I AM AND HOW BIG MY WANG IS

deuce: T PANTS LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT BOOZY BOOZE™ BRAND BOOZE IS NOT VODKA, IT IS SOME OTHER NEVER-SPECIFIED FORM OF LIQUOR pants: ACTUALLY PAINT THINNER deuce: WHATEVER, IT'LL FUCK YOU UP effigy: THAT USUALLY MEANS IT IS MALT LIQUOR deuce: FUCK YOU GUYS, IT'S WHAT DEUCE FROM BONEQUEST DRINKS

pants: -----BEGIN COMPRESSED RSA ENCRYPTED MESSAGE----- pants: HALGHALUG BLAHUA NUGGGGGH ANAL UHBLALAG SPIT DUH AHLUGHLAUG HBAGLUHAGHLAG pants: -----END COMPRESSED RSA ENCRYPTED MESSAGE-----

pants: T SPIGOT ARE YOU GETTING RESPONSES TO THAT YAHOO PERSONAL AD THAT I PLACED FOR YOU spigot: T PANTS PLEASE SHUT UP atandt: WHEN WILL JERKCITY HAVE GUEST STARS atandt: LIKE LOVE BOAT pants: GROSS pants: I MEAN YUM DUH SWALLOW PUNCH POUND SNAP HOOOOO DIAL TONE IF YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE A CALL HONK HONK HONK

pants: GET THE BIG FUCKING FONT OUT: EXCLUSIVE pants: I TOTALLY SAW YOU BUY A FAGGY PINK DRINK AT THE ASHLAND OREGON STARBUCKS (THE ORIGINAL ONE NOT THE NEW ONE OR THE UPCOMING ONE OR THE FOUR MORE PLANNED THROUGH 2007) spigot: T PANTS I SAID PLEASE SHUT UP pants: DEVELOPING...........

pants: POURING SALT ON MY BONER WILL NOT MAKE IT SHRIVEL OR MELT LIKE A SNAIL OR SLUG MIGHT pants: SERIOUSLY DUDE YOU ARE WASTING TIME deuce: MMMMMM pants: AND SALT deuce: MMMMMMMMMMM

spigot: I AM WATCHING FIVE DIFFERENT MORONS RE-ASSEMBLE THEIR RESPECTIVE STAR WARS DISPLAYS / BABYLON 5 DISPLAYS / WHATEVER ACTION-FIGURE BULLSHIT DISPLAYS IN THEIR NEWER, SMALLER CUBES spigot: WOOOOOO!!!!!!! NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS RULED!!!!!!!!! spigot: LET'S TURN OUR CABINETS INTO DIARAMAS TO PROVE IT

deuce: WE ARE FOUNDING MEMBERS OF THE KILL FUCKING EVERYBODY CLUB spigot: EXCEPT EACH OTHER!!!!! spigot: PROMPTING GAY RUMORS AMONGST THE PRESS deuce: INDEED THAT IS THE PARADOX deuce: BEFORE WE DISAPPEAR IN A PUFF OF LOGIC WE CAN SUCK EACH OTHER OFF

deuce: IS THAT THE BLIND ONE bung: NO deuce: SO SHE'S BLIND EH bung: NO! deuce: HOW DID SHE LOSE HER EYESIGHT bung: NO!!

pants: WHY DOES IT HURT WHEN YOU LOVE ME deuce: PURE COINCIDENCE

spigot: SO I HEAR HUGH GRANT HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HUGH DOWNS deuce: HERE COMES THE COCKBOT deuce: LOOK AT ME I'M QUEER deuce: BYE COCKBOT spigot: COME BACK

atandt: AH PORNOPOLIS atandt: THE TAJ MAHAL OF PORNOGRAPHY atandt: WITNESS THE ONE HANDED MASTURBATOR IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT atandt: OUTSIDE THE CITY OF PORNOPOLIS atandt: WE HUNT THE RED BREASTED CHICKADEE (BACK TO YOU MARLIN) deuce: WHERE'S MY ENEMA

spigot: MY PAC-MAN FEVER IS NOW OFFICIALLY FULL BLOWN PAC-MAN AIDS

spigot: B-BUT spigot: A DONG AND A BONG AND A SNICKERS spigot: THEY CAN'T ALL FIT IN MY MOUTH SIMULTANEOUSLY!!!!! spigot: OR CAN THEY?!!?!?! ?!?!?! pants: WHAT TO DO spigot: TO BE CONTINUED

spigot: GAY INDIANS BUILT THEIR STALLS OUT OF STICKS AND CLAY spigot: OUR MODERN TOILETS AND POKEY PRICKS AND TAPPING RITUALS WOULD SURELY CONFUSE AND FRIGHTEN THEM spigot: NOTE TO THE GAY INDIANS: I TAKE U.S. DOLLARS, NOT WAMPUM

pants: MY FORMULA WORKS !!! I AM TOTALLY INVISIBLE !!! STILL COMPLETELY GAY HOWEVER

pants: IS THIS GOING INTO THE STRIP (LET ME FIX MY HAIR) deuce: TO PROVE MY HOW STRAIGHT I AM I FUCK MEN IN THE ASS (AND FACE) pants: AND LICK THESE FOUR DICKS pants: I MEAN S-SEVEN !!! deuce: SPENT pants: I CANNOT COUNT THAT HIGH AND HAVE ROLLED OVER pants: THEREFORE I OWE YOU A NICKEL deuce: TO -30537573 pants: NO JUST 000000 deuce: SIX DIGITS AND YET HE CAN ONLY COUNT TO SEVEN

spigot: FOR THE LOVE OF PRICKS pants: T SPIGOT HOW DID YOU GET BACK IN deuce: T PANTS I THOUGHT WE BANNED HIM spigot: I DOVE INTO THE TOILET LIKE TRAINSPOTTING pants: AND HERE YOU ARE spigot: T PANTS AND BONKED MY HEAD AND WENT TO THE HOSPITAL AND ENDED UP HERE pants: WELCOME

uncredited woman: OH GOD JUST TAKE MY PURSE DON'T RAPE ME pants: WHAT THE FUCK YOU TOTAL BITCH I JUST WANT A LIGHT

pants: WHAT THE FUCK YOU TOTAL BITCH I JUST WANT A LIGHT atandt: CALM DOWN THAT WAS YESTERDAY pants: OH atandt: WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT ANYWAY pants: SOMETHING ABOUT A PIGGYBACK RIDE OR WAS I DRINKING atandt: YOU DON'T EVEN SMOKE

deuce: MY GEO METRO STOPPED RUNNING COULD SOMEONE TAKE A LOOK AT IT pants: I WANT TO BE YOUR EASTER BUNNY

spigot: THEY'RE ALL "HEY IT'S SPIGOT IN THE GEO" spigot: AND I'M LIKE "HEY LADIES" spigot: THEN IT'S OFF TO THE PORN SHOP AND THEN FRY'S, THEN HOME FOR DOPE AND BED

spigot: I SHOULD BOIL WATER TO MAKE TEA INSTEAD OF JUST CHOKING IT

pants: CHECK IT OUT I'M HARD spigot: DOES THAT MEAN YOU CAN SMOKE DOPE IN EVERY ROOM spigot: T DEUCE DOPE IS MARIJUANA OR "WEED" deuce: I AM YOUR DOG pants: T DEUCE ALSO MARY JANE OR CRANK OR CRACK deuce: T SPIGOT THANK YOU (CONFUSED)

pants: LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF OAGHOAHGLAHGLAHLAG net: IT JUST SO HAPPENS I NEED A BOX OF AOGHOAHGOAHGOAHG

deuce: FUCKERS pants: CHOKING YOU pants: WORKING AN ANGLE pants: HOW TO GET TO THE DICK spigot: I'M CONCERNED ABOUT THE MOUSTACHE INJECTION

deuce: I SNEEZED pants: BLESS YOU deuce: THAT'S NOT HOW YOU BLESS SOMEONE pants: HOLD STILL

spigot: I REALLY LIKE PRICKS deuce: TRUE DAT pants: T SPIGOT WHAT ARE THESE THINGS YOU CALL "PRICKS" spigot: ALL DICKS ARE PRICKS BUT NOT ALL PRICKS ARE DICKS pants: COULD EVERYBODY SHOW ME THEIR FILE DESCRIPTORS spigot: ALSO WHERE'S THE CAFETERIA

pants: GIVE ME ROOT (OR A BANANA NUT BREAD) spigot: NOT PARTICULAR HERE PEOPLE JUST AN EXTRA SQUIRT OF BUTTER SPRAY spigot: ONE TWO THREE spigot: YOU'RE GAY AND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU BACK THERE ARE ALSO GAY spigot: HOW MANY STRANGE MEN CALLED YOU LAST NIGHT spigot: WELL ZERO TIMES ANY OTHER NUMBER ALWAYS EQUALS FAGGOT pants: WAIT I pants: SPUTTER pants: ALL RIGHT FINE JUST A SLICE OF THE ZUCCINI BREAD

spigot: CAN WE PLEASE EXCHANGE DATA, INFO RE: DICKLICKERY WAS RE: HOPING WE ALL MATURE 40+ LADIES LOOKING FOR SIMILAR SINGLES spigot: ME: BEARDED WINDBREAKER spigot: OKAY GANG: I JUST PLACED FRESH NEW LEMONY SOAP CAKES IN ALL THE URINALS AND ALL THE STALLS SO THERE'S REALLY NO EXCUSE

atandt: I, CONVERTED INTO A SATELLITE pants: I NAMED THE ORIGINAL ACT "CAVE PAINTING" atandt: O ENDLESS VOID BALGABGBAG pants: O COLD DARK NO-THING-NESS HLUAGHBLAGULHALGBAG atandt: I MISS NEW JERSEY pants: JEAN CHARLES THE CLAMPING FROG WON'T LET GO QUICKLY GET THE ANGRIER CLAMPIER FROG AND HURRY

pants: GAY MARRIAGE IN YOUR LIVING ROOMS !!! RUBBING INTO YOUR FACE INTO IT !!!! HOOO BOY WE'VE GOT BIG-- HEY WHERE DID THE WORLD GO pants: HOLY CRAP hanford: WOW hanford: I'LL GO KICK THE BOX YOU STAY HERE AND THAT GODDAMN BONG STAYS IN YOUR LOCKER UNTIL WE'RE DONE pants: OH SHIT DUDE CHECK IT OUT THEY CAN READ THIS

spigot: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS pants: IT'S TOTALLY BEEN LIKE THIS SINCE YESTERDAY pants: IT'S FREAKY THERE'S NOWHERE TO LEAN OR PISS spigot: DO I HAVE TO WORK pants: LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON OZONE'S TIVO BIP BOOP BOOP BOOP

pants: YOU CAN'T SUCK DICK IN OR AROUND THE STORE deuce: EVIDENTLY pants: GET OUT (SHOOING YOU WITH A BROOM)

spigot: I ORDERED A BURGER NOT DICK spigot: HURBLE DUH AND FRIES : SPIGOT IS KICKED OFF CHANNEL #GAY_WITH_KISSES

spigot: I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FACE UNTIL YOU LOVE ME spigot: NOW YOU STAY ON THE PHONE WITH ME AND KEEP JERKING UNTIL YOU'RE GAY spigot: MAYBE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN BY "SUCK THE DICK OR LOSE YOUR JOB"

spigot: HI spigot: PISS MY FACE UP LIKE IT'S A GAY FIRE RAGING OUT OF THE CLOSET spigot: OR DON'T pants: NO EXIT

spigot: I THINK THAT I SHALL NEVER SEE spigot: BALLS ETC. PUSHING INTO MY NOSE AND FACE (AND ASS AND LEGS)

spigot: MORE TOKENS FOR THE GAY VIDEO BOOTHS PLEASE atandt: DO I KNOW YOU spigot: SIR deuce: HOLY HELL NOT AGAIN WITH MY FACE AND NOSE spigot: PLEASE HURRY UP AND SPURT BEFORE MY PARENTS GET HOME deuce: EITHER ONE OF YOU

pants: CONSTRUCTION CREW LESBOS 04 deuce: F pants: K-RAZY DYKES OF DISCIPLINE deuce: F pants: EXTREME FEETTWARE ?!? GOTH LESBIAN PEEPSHOWS /?!?!??! GRAMMA'S SEXY TOYS ??? @Y(Q*^ ?!?!?}}}}}} NO CARRIER deuce: F F F

deuce: I MUST MASTURBATE THREE TIMES DAILY (DOCTOR'S ORDERS) pants: WAS THAT YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW(S)

spigot: OH MY DEAR LORD spigot: GOOSE spigot: KBJS:LIGU: WO(*&%:BQ)( spigot: HOO YOU'RE GONNA GET ME spigot: BHRLGULAEHLFHO$%B(:Q spigot: CHASING spigot: BHALHBLAHBLAHLGEBLGUH OW BONK DONK DUH HURMPH URMPH OW OK ALL RIGHTIE spigot: I'D LIKE TO GO HOME

deuce: BUH pants: BUH?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!? pants: SETTLE DOWN MISTER deuce: NO

spigot: DICKS ARE TO BALLS AS JERKCITY IS TO: spigot: (A) BALLS spigot: (B) BALLS spigot: (C) BALLS spigot: (D) BALLS pants: I'M STARTING TO THINK THAT I'M NOT TAKING THE S.A.T.

atandt: I ASKED FOR A BLOWJOB NOT YOUR LIFE STORY deuce: BUT I WAS TRYING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION WITH AN ANECDOTE

pants: HOHLGAH LAUGLUAGH THE SON OF GOD IS A FAG AND LIKES IT UALGHALUH LAHHAL HALGAG ALL HOLY AND ERECT HALGHALG HLHGALH GLAGLAG EVEN A CROWN OF THORNS HERE HLUAHGL UAHHGLAHGLAHGLAHGL AGLHALUGHLAG JESUS IS COMING deuce: GOD ALMIGHTY pants: I HAVE SUCKED HIM OFF TO DEATH pants: HELP ME PUT HIM ON THIS CROSS (WE'LL BLAME THE JEWS) deuce: BLAGHLUBAGLBAG

spigot: FUCK THIS STUPID COUNTRY spigot: HOW ABOUT LEGALIZING DOPE AND USING THE PROCEEDS TO BUILD A SOLID GOLD ATOMIC BOMB

spigot: FUCK YOU spigot: I WAS A HUSTLER HONEY IN 83 AND ALSO A OUI TART (1982) spigot: PLEASE PRONOUNCE MY NAME LIKE A MAN

pants: T DEUCE I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND GET HIGH !!! deuce: T PANTS I CAN'T WAIT TO SUCK YOUR DICK !!!! deuce: WHOA WAS THAT PUBLIC pants: T DEUCE AND I CAN'T WAIT TO YES IT WAS pants: OH MY GOD deuce: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE WE'VE BEEN TALKING IN PUBLIC THIS WHOLE TIME

spigot: THE EIGHTIES WAS DEFINITELY THE BEST DECADE FOR PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING deuce: EARLY OR LATE OR WHAT

spigot: I HAD PORN CATALOGUES FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING!!!!! spigot: NO spigot: PINK CANTALOPE

spigot: T PANTS I'M SORRY I WAS STANDING ON THE HOSE THAT KEPT JERKCITY UP AND RUNNING spigot: I WILL THEREFORE BE RETURNING YOUR TICKETS TO CATS AND YOUR "AMATEUR LOADS OF FUN VOLUME 4" TAPE spigot: ARCING URINE NEAR AND FAR

spigot: ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION GUIDELINES pants: STOP USING TEN DOLLAR WORDS AND BE GAY WITH ME spigot: NEED $3 IN QUARTERS

spigot: FOLKS IS THERE ANYTHING AT ALL AT DISNEYLAND THAT ISN'T COMPLETELY BORING bung: THE BATHROOM OVER BY BEAR COUNTRY JAMBOREE

spigot: JERKICTY IS SHAREWARE PEOPLE spigot: LET'S ALL SHOW OUR SUPPORT BY SENDING ME $5.00 spigot: WHO KEEPS PUTTING MY FUCKING SWEATER IN THE TOILET

spigot: T PANTS I NEED TO HIDE^H^H^H^H STAY AT YOUR HOUSE pants: T SPIGOT I'M NOT WEARING A SHIRT AND I TEND TO EAT BURRITOS IN MY SLEEP

deuce: DICKS deuce: (SERIOUSLY) deuce: LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST ME AND YOU AGAINST THE WORLD pants: NO JUST YOU I'M BUSY SLURP SLOBBER DUH

deuce: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE HELP MY BALLS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: THEY'RE DROWNING OR SOMETHING pants: LOWERING THEM A ROPE pants: OKAY THIS IS SOME KIND OF TRAP pants: AND THE BALLS DIDN'T NEED ANY HELP pants: OH DEAR pants: I HATE YOU deuce: T PANTS CAUGHT YOU FUCKER pants: SYSTEM HALTED

atandt: IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU COME BACK pants: I'M A VERY BEAUTIFUL YOUNG MAN

deuce: JAMES WOODS CLEARLY STRAINS TOO MUCH ON THE POT pants: TOO MANY OLIVER STONE MOVIES, NOT ENOUGH GREENS

atandt: OK NOW GANDALF IS BLOWING A MOTH deuce: DUDE THAT'S EDWARD SCISSORHANDS YOU'RE WATCHING NOT LORD OF THE RINGS atandt: THEN WHAT'S WITH ALL THE ORCS AND SHIT deuce: UH THE DIRECTOR'S CUT

pants: T DEUCE WHAT DO YOU PROGRAM HTML IN deuce: HTML IS INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED AND QUITE FRANKLY TOO HARD FOR A POOR LITTLE WEB CODER LIKE ME pants: ALSO IS FAG-POINT-OH A REAL VERSION NUMBER deuce: I'M A WEB PROFESSIONAL SLASH GAS METER READER

deuce: WE SHOULD PERFORM MOUTH TO MOUTH (NOT TO RESUSCITATE BUT TO PUNISH)

deuce: DADDY IS THAT YOU pants: YES IT IS deuce: I CAN'T SEE YOU WITH THE BAG PULLED OVER MY HEAD AND TIGHTENED AROUND MY NECK pants: YOU KNOW THE DRILL

spigot: CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE FOR ONCE LIKE MY FAT GAY STONED COCKSUCKING FACE deuce: HUHHHHHHHH spigot: I'M GOING TO PRETEND THAT WAS HONEST, GENUINE LAUGHTER

deuce: YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU OVERVALUE DICK WHILE NOT CONSIDERING THE IMPORTANT EFFECT OF MAN'S ASS deuce: MANASS IF YOU WILL pants: GROSS DISGUSTING HAIRY POCK-MARKED UNDERTANNED MAN ASS deuce: RIGHT JUST NORMAL MAN ASS

spigot: I THINK ANY ONE OF US COULD HAVE MOLESTED AND STRANGLED A 7-YEAR-OLD BLACK GIRL IN A CASINO TOILET SO DON'T BE JUDGING ME YOUR "HONOR"

pants: KISS THE TIP deuce: ONE PING ONLY VASILLI pants: COMMANDER? deuce: ONE PING ONLY PLEASE

pants: IF I COULD JUST PLEASE HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR ONE MINUTE PLEASE I HAVE SOME ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE pants: DEUCE, INFANTRY, FIRST DIVISION, SHIP OUT AT 04:00 pants: THAT IS ALL

pants: GIVE VICTORY A RIMJOB pants: WHY DOES SPIDER-MAN HATE AMERICA pants: BRING THE WAR BACK HOME pants: MY KINGDOM FOR A TICKLESS CLOCK pants: EVER MINDFUL pants: PREGNANT PAUSE pants: PEACE THROUGH REACH AROUNDS pants: ERECT, ENGORGED AND MORE OR LESS NOT LIMP

pants: I CAN'T FEEL MY ARMS OR LEGS

hanford: BHLEUBH$LBH(%*) hanford: I SAY AGAIN @$ISFMN$ hanford: HOO spigot: THAT WAS INAPPROPRIATE

spigot: THE PIG SAYS MOO spigot: NO WAIT spigot: THE PIG SAYS SOMETHING ELSE

spigot: STOP REFERRING TO ME AS A BEACHED WHALE NAMED B.J.

spigot: HEY DICKS (THAT'S WHAT I SHOUT) spigot: HEY DICKS (I'M DRUNK) spigot: WITH EACH GULP OF BOOZE I CARE LESS AND LESS ABOUT JERKCITY'S BOOTDISKS

ozone: MOTHER OF DICK ozone: COCKS deuce: I DON'T THINK YOU TAKE MY BALLS SERIOUSLY ozone: PERHAPS IT'S NOT YOUR BALLS I'M AFTER deuce: HOLY

spigot: POKING MY PRICK INTO THE PHONE BOOK AND HUMPING THE ENTIRE BAY AREA

spigot: .EX spigot: .345TEX spigot: E-BAY pants: GO EBAY deuce: I CAN'T SAVE THIS TEXT FILE I JUST WROTE spigot: GO E-BAY spigot: URLS

deuce: DO YOU THINK WE'LL EVER LIVE IN PEACE WITH THE MARTIANS pants: BETTER DEAD THAN RED

pants: BE GAY WITH ME deuce: I WILL SIMPLY **NOT** PUT UP WITH THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR pants: YOU PROMISED OVERTIME, EXTRA CHOCOLATE deuce: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LICK OR IT'S BACK TO TAIWAN WITH YOU pants: I WANT AN EXTRA MINT ON MY PILLOW

deuce: WE'VE GOT TONE AND BARS pants: HOOOOOOOOOO COUGH COUGH COUGH OOOOOOOOOOOO

deuce: GRILLED MICE ON TOAST pants: I LIKE MICE pants: ALSO: BUNNIES pants: AND GUINEA PIGS pants: AND YOU

spigot: IF YOU CAN POSSIBLY BL@(B$*}}}}}}}} pants: LINE NOISE CAPTAIN pants: WHAT SHOULD WE DO spigot: DUNK ME IN GLITTER AND BATTER MY BALLS AND CARPOOL ME TO THE EIGHTIES MASHUP

spigot: WATCHING A BUNCH OF DONGS CRAP OUT AROUND PAGE 4 spigot: HURF HUH CAN NO LONGER REMEMBER WHAT'S HAPPENING spigot: MUST FIND LYCOS AND LEARN ABOUT IRC

deuce: CAN I GO TO HEAVEN NOW pants: ALMOST deuce: ABOUT HALFWAY UP OR WHAT DO YOU THINK pants: JUST PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING

pants: THE END WON'T BE MESSY pants: IT WILL BE LONG AND UNCOMFORTABLE pants: WELCOME TO THE GIGGLEWEEDS (AND THAT'S ODD BECAUSE THE LAST TIME YOU VISITED THERE WAS NO SIGNPOST)

pants: HAVING MISTAKEN ALL AROUND HIM FOR A COFFEE SHOP HE TRIES TO ORDER THE BIGGEST FAGGIEST PINKEST DRINK POSSIBLE AND SUCCEEDS BEYOND HIS WILDEST DREAMS

pants: I WOKE UP TODAY AND IT WAS LIKE THIS atandt: THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING pants: SHOULD WE INVOLVE FEMA, OSHA, PETA, HOMELAND SECURITY, LINUS, THEO, U.S. REPRESENTATIVE EDWARD L. SCHROCK OF VIRGINIA, SPIGOT THE BEAR spigot: LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS pants: NOW WHAT DO WE DO atandt: 9/11 (NEVER FORGET)

deuce: TOMORROW MARKS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ERA spigot: BE GAY WITH BE ABOVE OVER AND ACROSS MY BALLS FACE AND HEAD AND REPEAT MY INSTRUCTIONS BACK TO ME deuce: THE ERA IN WHICH I CAN WORK ON UH hanford: CUT deuce: T SPIGOT ACROSS AND OVER AND TOWARD AND HONK AND WAIT I GOT CONFUSED LET'S START OVER hanford: JUST PRETEND THE BACKGROUND ISN'T URINE YELLOW AND TRY AGAIN

pants: CHECK IT OUT I'M SOMEWHERE ELSE NOW pants: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET ON WITH THE SHOW pants: T SPIGOT I'M HOLDING A PISS SWEEPSTAKES (CLICK HERE TO ENTER AND WIN) spigot: T PANTS OKAY I BETTER NOT GET RIPPED OFF AGAIN

hanford: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT pants: I THINK IT'S JUST OVERCAST hanford: I THINK THE BULB BURNT OUT pants: YOU SAY THE FOG WILL BURN OFF ?????????????? OR THE FAG WILL WEAR OFF ?!?!? I AM INCREASING MY KEY REPEAT RATE hanford: SHUT UP pants: GRIND IT AS YOU NEED IT NOT ALL AT ONCE BECAUSE THE GRINDER IS ENTERTAINING TO OPERATE (WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN)

atandt: ATDT (BIG) FAT-FACE pants: RING RING RING atandt: COME ON pants: RING CLICK BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP atandt: CONNECT 1200 pants: HOW BROWN IS YOUR BUNNY}}}}}}}}}}}}} NO CARRIER

spigot: I KNOW HOW TO HOOK MY VCR UP TO MY MAC AND YANK MY DICK TO PORNOS spigot: IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN spigot: IN A 640X480 WINDOW spigot: MILLIONS OF COLORS spigot: T LADY I CAN REWIND JUST BY HITTING CMD-R spigot: SO YOU'RE NOT DONE SUCKING DICK UNTIL I SAY SO spigot: AND I RARELY OR NEVER SAY SO (spigot): JUST GET OUT

pants: SHIT MAN MAYBE AFTER I'VE HAD MY COFFEE THEN WE CAN START TALKING ABOUT THE pants: OH SHIT WE'RE TOTALLY LIVE !!! COUGH COUGH COUGH DUDE pants: JEAN-CHARLES HOW COULD YOU MISTAKE THE SCREAM FOR A RESTAURANT MENU !!! YOU MUST RETURN THE PAINTING AT ONCE BEFORE ANYBODY NOTICES deuce: %RANDOM

spigot: CONCERNED ABOUT THE GAS STATION OFFERING CASSETTES ENTITLED JOCK JAMS pants: WHICH GAS STATION pants: I MEAN THAT'S HORRIBLE

deuce: I'M HUNGRY deuce: FORTUNATELY I HAVE OODLES OF NOODLY COCK ALL AROUND ME deuce: SURROUNDING ME, CLOSING IN

pants: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY EYE NOW I'M MORE THAN HALF BLIND pants: I SHOULD HAVE NEVER SASSED THAT COCK pants: BUT OH WHAT A FEELING

spigot: AT THIS TIME I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR WASTING THE INTERNET deuce: LET'S GET TO THE LOVIN' spigot: STILL: EVERY BIT COUNTS!!!!! OR BYTE!!!!!!!!!! OR NIBBLE!!!!!!!!! spigot: AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT FOLKS pants: ARE YOU DEPRESSED ??????????? SHOULD I BLOAD PEOPLE PONG FOR YOU

spigot: HOW ABOUT SEDUCING THEM.......... WITH A FUCKING ATM CARD deuce: OR A ROPE AND A GAG deuce: OR A FIST AND A CLUB deuce: THERE ARE SO MANY COMBINATIONS

spigot: HHHHHHHOOOAAARK OKAY THEN spigot: URMPH HURMPH JESUS AND JOSEPH spigot: SON OF A pants: COCKS

pants: YOU POOR MISPLACED DONGS (HUDDLED MASSES) deuce: I HATE AMERICA pants: INTEL INSIDE !!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY HAVE A LOOK-SEE deuce: CROWDING, PUSHING pants: DUCKING, SHOVING

pants: NOW YOU GOT THE JUICE spigot: T PANTS I WOULD RATHER MAKE AN EFFORT TO DO WITHOUT THE JUICE PLEASE

spigot: GREAT NEWS EVERYONE!!!!!!!! spigot: I'M A METROTHEXUAL spigot: A METRO..... spigot: THTHTH THTHTHTH spigot: (SPITTING, SPLUTTERING) spigot: THTHTH THTTTHH THHHTHHT spigot: (MINCING, PRANCING) spigot: THTH THTHT TTHHTHTH spigot: .....THEXUAL!!!!!!! spigot: WITH A FAUXHAWK spigot: A FAUXHAWKING STUPID HAIRCUT

deuce: GOD'S TELLING ME TO SPANK IT AGAIN deuce: DO I DEFY THE WILL OF GOD OR NO pants: DID HE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME (AND MY DRESS) deuce: I DON'T KNOW deuce: I WASN'T REALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM ANYWAY deuce: HE TALKS ALL FUNNY deuce: KIND OF DIRTY

pants: AND THAT'S WHY I WON'T EAT JULIA CHILD'S PUSSY deuce: LIKE SHE HAS ONE deuce: FFFFFFF spigot: F-FACIAL RECOGNITION????????

pants: WATCH ME JERK OFF FOR CHARITY deuce: WHICH ONE pants: UH pants: "DICK FOR ME"

deuce: I AM ONE HOT FAGGOT spigot: YOU'RE TELLING ME OW OW

spigot: I'M AMPLE ANNIE deuce: ORAL ANNIE I WAS HOPING pants: TOMORROW pants: TOMORROW pants: I'LL LOVE YA TOMORROW HUUHHHHHHHHHHH SEVERE BEATINGS spigot: THAT MEANS MY DOG AND YOUR CAT HAVE TO HIDE IN THE BOXES FOR AN EXTRA HOUR

pants: T SPIGOT CAN I GRAB YOUR HEAD AND JUST SHAKE IT AROUND pants: YOU CITY FOLK ARE ALL THE SAME pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGGGH ANAL spigot: WHO WANTS MUFFINS

spigot: HELLO TO THE FUCKING IDIOT PARADE OF COLLEGE STUDENTS !!! WHAT AN EXCITING TIME IN YOUR LIVES TO BE ON THE BRINK OF A NEW CAREER LICKING MY DICK FOREVER spigot: FOREVER spigot: FOREVER

pants: KNEEPADS: CHECK pants: RUNNING SHOES: CHECK pants: GOGGLES: CHECK

deuce: HEY LOOK AT ME I FELL DOWN AND NOW I'M BEING RAPED deuce: ALL I WANTED WAS MY BRA BACK deuce: MAN YOU WHITE PEOPLE SUCK spigot: HE'S HURTING ME WITH MY OWN PEPPER SPRAY HOLY GOD THE IRONY

pants: I'M FAMOUS FOR EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT pants: A VERY ANGRY HAM SANDWICH pants: ASKING BENDIS TO DRAW THE JERKCITY GRAPHIC NOVEL pants: DO NOT EAT THE GRASS pants: BREAKING THE PROSTITUTE'S NOSE pants: GOOGLY EYES ON DOGSHIT pants: PROUD TO BE THE CHRIS PENN OF WEB COMICS pants: HIDING UNDERNEATH THE PORCH WAITING FOR FOOD TO COME ALONG

spigot: I'M A GAY COW MMMMOOOOOOOOO URF HOMPH spigot: I BELONG IN A FAIRY DAIRY spigot: SOMEBODY MILK ME PEOPLE spigot: I'M UDDERLY QUEER spigot: HOW FAT ALL THE BLOGGERS AND SUICIDE GIRLS ARE

deuce: HELLO deuce: PAY ATTENTION TO ME deuce: I KNOW I'M REALLY FAT AND EVERYTHING BUT THE LEAST YOU GUYS COULD DO IS THROW ME A DONUT

deuce: I AM CHIEFLY COMPOSED OF ADAMANTIUM atandt: T DEUCE I'M MADE OF BORON deuce: T ATANDT AWESOME THAT MEANS YOU'RE A LIGHT ELEMENT SO I CAN FUCK YOU atandt: T DEUCE SHOW ME YOUR CONTROL ROD :: EXPOSES HIMSELF

spigot: CORPORATIONS BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAY MARRIAGE YAY pants: I'M A SELF-HATING FAG IN THAT I LISTEN TO MICHAEL SAVAGE AND READ PLAYBOY FOR THE ARTICLES

deuce: ENUMERATE THE DICKS pants: THEY WON'T HOLD STILL!!! THEY HOP FROM THE END OF THE LINE TO THE START AND WEAR FAKE BEARDS AND I COUNT THEM TWICE deuce: YOU NEED SOME SORT OF IBUTTON 1-WIRE SOLUTION pants: OR A HEAVY MALLET pants: I DRAW HAPPY FACES ON THEM BUT EVENTUALLY THEY RUB IT OFF AND A FEW HOURS LATER THEY'RE ALL HI I'M A TOTALLY DIFFERENT DICK deuce: HOLD ON A SECOND I'M BLOGGING ABOUT MY IPOD

dick: BONE ME UP FOR FUN AND PROFIT dick: OR YOU dick: EITHER WAY dick: JUST DIG IN, SPORT deuce: COCKS

ozone: MAESTRO 113% /USR/AMANDA/JT -U 7 SC0D6L0 ozone: SC0D6L0: UNLOADED CARTRIDGE TO SLOT 7 ozone: MAESTRO 114% /USR/AMANDA/JT -M 8 SC0D6L0 ozone: SC0D6L0: LOADED CARTRIDGE FROM SLOT 8 ozone: REWINDING pants: NOW WE CAN GET HIGH

deuce: YOU GAVE ME THE CLAP effigy: THAT WAS YOUR MOTHER

spigot: HOBLBOLHB LHABAB HLAHBLHELAHBA spigot: LOOKS LIKE THE VIDEO STORE FUCKED UP AGAIN spigot: HAVING A HARD TIME JERKING TO SCHINDLER'S LIST

spigot: WELL HERE I AM ALONE IN THE TOILET spigot: THAT SURE IS A BIG HOLE IN THE WALL spigot: WHAT THE spigot: SOMEONE JUST PUSHED THEIR FAT PURPLE WANG THROUGH THE OPENING spigot: TO BE CONTINUED

deuce: I AM SO GAY I SEE SPOTS bung: WHAT COLOR (TESTING FOR GAYNESS) deuce: SOME KIND OF PINK OR FUCHSIA bung: YOU'VE GOT GAY

spigot: JESSICA SIMPSON SINGS LIKE SHE'S GOT COCKS ****AND***** SOCKS IN HER MOUTH pants: DROWN ALL SINGLE MOMS

spigot: WHAT DOES DUH STAND FOR deuce: IT STANDS FOR GHLAGLHAGLHAGLHAGLHAGLHAGLH spigot: YOU KNOW, IT REALLY REALLY DOES

deuce: OH MY JESUS FROM BOTH SIDES deuce: OH THOSE AREN'T DICKS deuce: OH MY GOD THEY ARE

spigot: PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR.......... SPIGOT!!!!!!!!!!! pants: I HOPE YOU BROUGHT A BAKED POTATO FOR EVERYBODY spigot: UH spigot: THESE PORN TAPES????? pants: YAY

pants: THE MEN'S ROOM

pants: I LIKE TO LICK THE DUST MITES RIGHT OFF THE WALL AND INTRODUCE THEM INTO MY SYSTEM IMMEDIATELY pants: SCROLLING THROUGH THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PICTURES OF DICKS pants: LET'S GET GAY MARRIED HERE AND NOW BEFORE BZZZZZZZZZZZT TOO CLOSE TO THE FENCE

spigot: QUICK TURN TO CHANNEL DICK deuce: NO SUCH CHANNEL spigot: DID I SAY DICK spigot: BECAUSE I MEANT UH deuce: BUSTED

pants: HOLY CRAP !!! THE LIVE JOURNAL PEOPLE CAN LEAVE COMMENTS RIGHT UNDERNEATH US !!! pants: LISTEN CLOSELY: WE WILL HUNT AND EAT THE PAC-MAN atandt: I'M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL pants: THEY CAN SEE UP MY SKIRT JUST LIKE THE MOLE PEOPLE

pants: I'M A LOW CLOUD LINGERING BY THE OCEAN AND ALSO OVER SANTA CLARA VALLEY atandt: BONG SMOKE deuce: I LOVE YOU LOW CLOUD pants: YOU CALL THAT A GRAPEFRUIT atandt: I HAVE A JERKCITY FEATURE REQUEST atandt: CRICKETS deuce: FARAWAY BOMB STRIKES deuce: I'M AFRAID WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT YOU BACK UP IN THE SKY AS A LOW CLOUD deuce: TRY NOT TO GET ARRESTED THIS TIME pants: YOUR RAPE ROOM AND MY METH LAB ???? (FLOATING TO HEAVEN)

deuce: MY QUESTION IS WHO OWNS THE DICKS pants: UH pants: NOBODY pants: THEY'RE FREE TO ROAM AS THEY PLEASE

deuce: MEETING THE URINE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL AND REALIZING IT'S JUST LIKE ME AND MY PREJUDICES THIS WHOLE TIME WERE COMPLETELY FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF PTTTTHTHTHH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE deuce: FUCK THIS TASTES LIKE PISS pants: WHERE IT SHOULD TASTE LIKE COTTON CANDY OR PICKLES deuce: OR AT LEAST LIKE URINE NOT PISS

deuce: MOTHER WANTS ME TO STOP RAPING FACES pants: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT deuce: T PANTS DON'T TALK SO LOUD MOM CAN HEAR YOU pants: MOTHER'S DYING WISH WAS THAT YOU CONTINUE TO RAPE FACES pants: LET HER GO SO SHE CAN REST IN PEACE AND I CAN GO BACK TO BED

deuce: IF I UPGRADED JERKCITY TO 3.0 WOULD YOU REGISTER THE SHAREWARE FEE OF $5 spigot: I ALREADY REGISTERED AND THERE ARE STILL SERIOUS BUGS deuce: SHIT spigot: CAN I TAKE OFF MY SHIRT AND COME OVER deuce: OKAY BRING EXTRA BANANAS

atandt: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY WE DON'T HAVE A TAMPON MACHINE IN THE MEN'S ROOM

pants: KINDLY UNCLAMP deuce: SORRY I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS STILL APPLYING PRESSURE (NUMBNESS IN LIMBS, JOINTS) deuce: I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM

pants: WHY AREN'T WE ALL METRIC AGAIN deuce: T PANTS BECAUSE AMERICANS ARE LAZY AND THE GOVERNMENT FORGOT ABOUT IT pants: T DEUCE OUR CANADIAN LEADERS ARE IDIOTS deuce: AMERICANS ARE TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND POWERS OF 10 I GUESS pants: 3/4 deuce: PRECISELY

atandt: [T[R[A[P[P[P[E[D [I[N [V[T[1[0[0

spigot: BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP THREE LARGE PIZZAS PLZ KACHING HOMPTH KA-BLAM pants: NOW THE CHINESE FOOD I ORDERED FOR YOU WILL NEVER ARRIVE !!! I WILL ROB AND SEXUALLY ASSAULT THE DELIVERY BOY THEN

deuce: GET OFF YOUR ASS AND PURGE YOURSELF SO YOU WON'T BE SO FAT spigot: I'M OUT OF COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM PEOPLE spigot: MMM PEANUT BUTTER FUDGESICLES POKING INTO MY spigot: WAIT

deuce: I FEEL SO ALONE deuce: TALK TO ME spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP spigot: I'LL BET SIOUXSIE SIOUX HAS NEVER EVEN USED CODEWARRIOR

spigot: HALLOWEEN PARTY IN THE GAY TOILET DOWNSTAIRS spigot: I'M GOING AS A FUCKING QUEER spigot: OR A COWBOY

deuce: 9.72E+09 BYTES deuce: THAT'S A LOT OF PORN pants: IT HAD TO USE THE E !!!!!!! OH GOD pants: THAT MEANS HIGHER THAN 999 deuce: NO E IS SIMPLY THE SQUARE ROOT OF PI SHOVED UP MY ASS pants: DOES IT HURT UP THERE pants: WITH THE - BEING SO POINTY AND ALL deuce: THE RADICAL SIGN IS REALLY QUITE FRANKLY UNCOMFORTABLE deuce: BUT WE ALL HAVE OUR CROSSES TO BEAR pants: I HAVE MUCH TO LEARN

deuce: BUT WE ALL HAVE OUR CROSSES TO BEAR spigot: AND DRESSES TO WEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I MEAN SHIRTS AND LONG PANTS pants: WAS THAT YOU IN THE TENDERLOIN LAST NIGHT deuce: GET 'IM

spigot: I'M LOOKING AT MY HOPE FLOATING IN THE TOILET RIGHT NOW pants: MY HOPE JUST SINKS TO THE BOTTOM spigot: WELL WE'RE PRACTICALLY TWINS pants: NOT IF YOURS FLOATS spigot: TOO LATE I ALREADY PITCHED IT TO NBC pants: AUUUGH

spigot: <----- I'M WITH STUPID!!!! spigot: WAIT YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE deuce: I APOLOGIZE AND WILL RECTIFY THE SITUATION : DEUCE EATS SPIGOT, SUCKS HIMSELF OFF

pants: THE DICKS ARE MARCHING IN pants: TWO BY TWO, FOUR BY FOUR pants: LORD GOD THEY ARE STORMING OUR BEACHES