BONEQUEST perspective-dice-random ABOUT

EPISODES: 2000

No. Date   Title / Dialog Players Tags
461 1/1/2000 Y2GAY
: Get a load of these two. pants: DO YOU KICK ASS pants: YOU LOOK LIKE YOU KICK ASS DAILY deuce: UH OH IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN
deuce
pants
#caption
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#gayness
#plant
#woodring-field-background
#y2k
462 1/1/2000 not helping
pants: SERIOUSLY CAN I EAT IT DOES IT GO IN MY FUCKING MOUTH pants: WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE HELP ME OUT CHIEF SHOW ME THE MONEY pants: YOU CATCH IT ONCE pants: YOU CATCH IT TWICE pants: YOU CATCH IT WITH YOUR LOVE DEVICE
hanford
pants
#hanford-pants
#kmfdm
#love
#love-device
#mouth
#mouth-of-pants
#rhyming
#woodring-stairs-background
463 1/2/2000 how to get to my house
spigot: TAKE THE G TRAIN spigot: TO THE A TRAIN spigot: TO THE Y TRAIN
spigot
#directions
#gay
#public-transportation
#spigot-solo
#train
#woodring-stairs-background
464 1/3/2000 really forcing me
spigot: YOU SURE ARE "FORCING" ME TO SUCK YOUR DICK WHOEVER YOU ARE
spigot
#dick
#dicksucking
#spigot-solo
#unnecessary-quotation-marks
#woodring-stairs-background
465 1/4/2000 u.f.o. encounter
pants: I HAD A DREAM THAT I WAS A STUPID CHARACTER IN A COMIC STRIP pants: THEN POO SQUIRTED OUT AND THAT WAS NOT A DREAM AND I'M UP AT 8:30 AM WITH THE SHEETS spigot: I REACH FOR THE BONG ONLY TO REALIZE I AM NOT AT HOME pants: WHEN I TELL PEOPLE MY STORY I'M GOING TO SUBSTITUTE "UFO" FOR "THE FISTING SLING" deuce: FUCKING FAIRIES
deuce
pants
spigot
#bonequest-hi-fi
#bong
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dream
#drunk-deuce
#fisting-sling
#meta
#poo
#shat-the-bed
#ufo
#wisdom
#woodring-field-background
466 1/5/2000 the how and the why
spigot: I WAS TALKING TO THIS GUY ONLY TO REALIZE IT WAS MY REFLECTION!!! THEN IT GOT ALL RIPPLY AND I THOUGHT I WAS SMOKING DOPE BUT IT WAS THE TOILET WATER RIPPLING!!!!! AND IT WAS ME WITH MY FACE IN THE CRAPPER THE WHOLE TIME!!!!! EXPLAIN THE WHY OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!!
spigot
#marijuana
#reflection
#spigot-solo
#toilet
#toilet-water
#woodring-stairs-background
467 1/6/2000 achoo
pants: BONJOUR deuce: I SNEEZED deuce: ALSO I JUST TOOK A POO deuce: I WONDER IF THEY ARE RELATED pants: KIND OF
deuce
pants
#french
#poo
#sneeze
#woodring-stairs-background
468 1/7/2000 an astronomy lesson
deuce: MY SOLAR OBSERVATIONS FOR DECEMBER 1999 deuce: 1. IT'S BRIGHT deuce: 2. I CAN SEE MY OWN DICK IN THE MIRROR deuce: 3. MY NEIGHBOR'S DOGSHIT TASTES TANGY deuce: 4. I AM TOTALLY INCAPABLE OF GETTING AN ERECTION
deuce
#astronomy
#coprophagia
#december
#deuce-solo
#dick
#dogshit
#drunk-deuce
#reflection
#woodring-stairs-background
469 1/8/2000 clog/flog protocol
deuce: T SPIGOT CAN I BE FLOGGED spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO BE FLOGGED, CLOGGED deuce: MMMMMM spigot: CLOGGED FIRST??? OR ??? PROTOCOL ?? deuce: I DON'T THINK THE RFCS HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR SUBJECT deuce: THEY MUST BOTH COME ONE AFTER THE OTHER BUT I THINK IT DOESN'T MATTER WHICH ORDER THEY'RE IN
deuce
spigot
#clogging
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#flogging
#protocol
#rfc
#rhyming
#woodring-stairs-background
470 1/9/2000 the commish
deuce: DOES ANYBODY WORSHIP THE COMMISH LIKE I DO ??!?!? pants: I PREFER CAKE, PIE net: T DEUCE HE'S A LITTLE ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES AND DOESN'T PLAY BY THE RULES pants: ALSO ICE CREAM net: ALSO I WOULD DESCRIBE HIM AS "A BIG LUG (BUT LOVABLE)" pants: I MENTIONED CAKE ABOVE (PREVIOUSLY) pants: ALSO HOSTESS PRODUCTS AND PRODUCTS RELATED TO THE HOSTESS LINE
deuce
net
pants
#cake
#commish
#deuce-net-pants
#deucegrin
#drunk-deuce
#hostess
#ice-cream
#pie
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
471 1/10/2000 do i look fat
pants: DO I LOOK FAT spigot: TAKE THE PRICKS OUT OF YOUR HANDS AND MOUTH spigot: OKAY NOW PUT THE LEFT PRICK IN YOUR RIGHT HAND AND JUST ONE IN YOUR MOUTH spigot: NOW PUT BOTH PRICKS FROM YOUR LEFT HAND IN THE LEFT SIDE OF YOUR MOUTH spigot: THERE spigot: YOU ARE VERY FUCKING FAT
pants
spigot
#fat
#mountain-background
#mouth-of-pants
#pants-spigot
#pricks
#self-conscious
472 1/11/2000 fired from bonequest
spigot: I HAVE BEEN FIRED FROM BONEQUEST FOR MY UFO BELIEFS spigot: NOW I'VE BEEN FIRED FROM WALDENBOOKS FOR MY UFO BELIEFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: FIRED FROM CHEVRON FOR MY UFO BELIEFS spigot: NOTE: AND BY UFO BELIEFS I REFER TO TIT SQUEEZING BELIEFS spigot: WEBZINES FACE TOUGH TIMES.
spigot
#chevron
#fired
#mountain-background
#sexual-assault
#spigot-solo
#tits
#ufo
#waldenbooks
#webzine
#zine
473 1/12/2000 goats out of phase
net: I'M FROM PAKISTAN deuce: I'M NOT FOND OF YOU EITHER net: THAT WILL COST YOU TWO GOATS deuce: BAAAA net: I ONLY COUNT ONE deuce: THEY WERE DOING IT AT THE SAME TIME net: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOUDER THEN net: OR SILENCE (GOATS OUT OF PHASE) deuce: IT DOESN'T GET LOUDER THAN UPPERCASE BAAAAA net: THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME deuce: I HAVE HAD A SEIZURE net: I THINK I WIN THEN
deuce
net
#deuce-net
#drunk-deuce
#goat
#pakistan
#seizure
#sfw
#uppercase
#woodring-stairs-background
474 1/13/2000 HTML is hard
spigot: SO HE'S LIKE "HOW ABOUT I PISS IN YOUR FACE" spigot: AND I'M ALL "NO THANKS" spigot: SO NOW I'M SOAKED pants: THEN WHAT HAPPENED spigot: I WENT HOME AND WORKED ON MY WEB PAGE pants: HTML IS HARD
pants
spigot
#html
#pants-spigot
#piss
#soaked
#woodring-stairs-background
475 1/14/2000 a huge spaceship
spigot: FOLKS THE SUN'S ATMOSPHERE HAS EXPANDED TO ENGULF AND DESTROY MERCURY AND VENUS!!!!!!! CAN WE PLEASE START WORKING ON A HUGE SPACESHIP??????? spigot: THE OCEANS ARE BOILING AND THE SKY IS A DEEP RED AND EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING!!!!!!!!!!!! DOES ANYONE HAVE EPISODE 1 OF FELICITY ON TAPE spigot: PEOPLE ARE COLLAPSING AND MELTING INTO THE SIDEWALK!!!!!! BUILDINGS ARE BEING UPROOTED BY HUGE BUBBLING BURSTS OF LAVA AND VOLCANIC SMOKE!!!!!!!!! HOPEFULLY KINKO'S WILL BE OPEN SO I CAN FINISH MY ZINE!!!!!!!!!!
spigot
#britney-spears
#felicity
#folks
#kinkos
#lava
#mercury
#mountain-background
#ocean
#sfw
#sky
#spaceship
#spigot-solo
#sun
#venus
#zine
476 1/15/2000 little birdy
pants: A LITTLE BIRD LOOKED DOWN ON ME AND SAID "SUCK MORE DICKS" WHICH IS WHAT BRINGS ME TO THE PRESENT, GENTLEMEN
pants
#bird
#bonequest-hi-fi
#dicks
#dicksucking
#karma-whore
#pants-solo
#woodring-room-background
477 1/16/2000 math
deuce: MANHANDLE ME spigot: UNDER THE BRIGHT SUPERMARKET LIGHTS: spigot: 3 WHORES spigot: TIMES 110 POUNDS spigot: TIMES TEN 30-GALLON BAGS spigot: FOR $5.99 OR FIFTEEN 10-GALLON CINCH SACKS FOR $3 EVEN ????????????????? deuce: WHO SAID YOU'D NEVER USE ALGEBRA
deuce
pants
spigot
#algebra
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#math
#mountain-background
#supermarket
478 1/17/2000 mothers who think
spigot: MOTHERS WHO THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: ABOUT DEFROSTING THE ICEBOX
spigot
#freezer
#mother
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
479 1/18/2000 i have no penis
deuce: I HAVE NO PENIS pants: I HAVE TWO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE YOU GO pants: IT IS ATTACHED TO SOME YOUNG MAN BUT YOU WILL GET USED TO HIM pants: I CALL HIM "BIG JOHN" pants: AND HE'LL CALL YOU "HOSS" pants: AND WE'LL ALL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT UNTIL THE SUN COMES UP deuce: I DO NOT LIKE THIS PLAY ONE LITTLE BIT pants: APPLUASE SIGN
deuce
pants
#applause
#bonanza
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#penis
#play
#woodring-room-background
480 1/19/2000 national public radio news
spigot: ALL NPR TALKS ABOUT IS WEIRD WARRING CULTURES THROWING DIRT CLODS AT ONE ANOTHER!!!!!! LITTLE OR NOTHING TO DO WITH BRITNEY'S HOME PHONE / WHETHER SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND / HER LAUNDRY HAMPER
spigot
#britney-spears
#dirt
#laundry
#magic-8-ball
#mountain-background
#npr
#sfw
#spigot-solo
481 1/20/2000 disney lawyers
pants: M - I - C !!!!!!!!! spigot: SEE YOU IN THE PARKING LOT pants: K - E - Y spigot: A "KEY" IS BEATNIK FOR "MARIJUANA JOINT" spigot: M O U BLHGLBHGLBUH pants: HLAGHULAHULAG AGHULAHU ALGALUG
pants
spigot
#disney
#lawyer
#marijuana
#mickey-mouse
#pants-spigot
#parking-lot
#spelling
#spigot-has-mickey-ears
#woodring-stairs-background
482 1/21/2000 hilfiger lander
spigot: NASA LAUNCHES PEPSI ONE ORBITER, TOMMY HILFIGER LANDER deuce: CALVIN KLINE THINGY WHICH CRASHES INTO THE POLE spigot: ALIENS HAVE GREAT TASTE!!!!! spigot: BOOP GLOOP ALIEN NOISES AND HORRID 3D GRAPHICS AND EVENTUALLY FRASIER deuce: T SPIGOT WITH THAT KIND OF GARBAGE AT LEAST NASA COULD DO SOMETHING spigot: INSTEAD OF LOOKING UP AT THE MOON WE CAN ALL LOOK UP AT THE C|NET deuce: WHAT spigot: I SAID LET'S ALL LICK A DICK!!!!! spigot: HGLGHBLHGLBHGGLH deuce: BALUGHLAGLAGAG
deuce
spigot
#aliens
#branding
#calvin-klein
#cnet
#deuce-spigot
#deucegrin
#dick
#dicklicking
#drunk-deuce
#frasier
#moon
#nasa
#pepsi
#pepsi-one
#product-placement
#tommy-hilfigier
#woodring-stairs-background
483 1/22/2000 the skills to pay the bills
spigot: WHO FORGOT TO PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL deuce: HUALGHULAHGLAHGLAG pants: BLAGHABGHULAGBLAHGAGH
deuce
pants
spigot
#black-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#electric-bill
#forgetfulness
#power-outage
#sfw
484 1/23/2000 live from the fonzi contest
atandt: I GUESS YOU DID NOT HEAR atandt: THE FONZI CONTEST WAS CANCELLED
atandt
#atandt-solo
#contest
#fonzi
#jerkcity-presents
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
485 1/24/2000 my mom's present
net: I WRAPPED MY MOM'S PRESENT (COOKBOOK) AND YOUR PRESENT (BUTTPLUG) EXACTLY THE SAME AND NOW I CAN'T TELL THEM APART !!!!!! ZANY HIJINKS ENSUE deuce: SOME SERIOUS EXPLAINING TO BE MADE TO THE DEUCE (YOUR MOTHER'S CONFUSION WILL PALE IN COMPARISON)
deuce
net
#buttplug
#confusion
#cookbook
#deuce-net
#gift
#hijinks
#laughing-deuce
#mom
#the-deuce
#webcomic
#woodring-stairs-background
486 1/25/2000 tcp/ip
atandt: I PROPOSE A NEW TRANSPORT LAYER ON THE INTERNET atandt: IT WILL BE DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR PORN / GAYNESS / ETC atandt: IF ONLY I COULD THINK OF A CLEVER NAME deuce: IT ALREADY EXISTS !!!!!!! IT'S CALLED TCP/IP
atandt
deuce
#california
#drunk-deuce
#gayness
#internet
#networking
#porn
#somber-deuce
#tcp-ip
#woodring-field-background
487 1/26/2000 thomas edison, probably
spigot: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I SEE ONE MORE STUPID FUCKING DILDO spigot: WHO INVENTED THOSE THINGS ANYWAY????????? spigot: NOT ANYONE WHO BEATS OFF THAT'S FOR SURE
spigot
#beating-off
#dildo
#irish
#spigot-solo
#thomas-edison
#woodring-stairs-background
488 1/27/2000 dog lick dog dick world
deuce: GHLGAHLGAHLGAHGAHLAG pants: IT'S A DOG LICK DOG DICK WORLD OUT THERE pants: AND IT IS MY DUTY TO POINT OUT THAT THERE ARE JUST NOT ENOUGH DAMN DICKS deuce: TO LICK pants: YOUR HONOR deuce: GLHGAHLGALHGAHLGAHLAGHG pants: I REST MY BALLS deuce: I DECLARE A MISTRIAL pants: HOW ABOUT A PISS PARTY deuce: YOU ARE IN CONTEMPT pants: WHAT PART ABOUT "I WANT TO LICK YOUR DICK" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND deuce: BAILIFF TAKE HIM AWAY pants: I JUST WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE AND LICK DICKS deuce: GIVE HIM A MUZZLE pants: HULAGHLAHULAH
deuce
pants
#balls
#court
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#dicklicking
#dog
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#piss
#woodring-field-background
489 1/28/2000 deep thought, deep throat, whatever
spigot: THE COVER OF MY HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE SAYS WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE PANICKING I SHOULD GRAB A DICK AND SUCK IT !!!!!! THANK GOD I CAN KNEEL ON THIS TOWEL AND PUT OUT A SERIES OF SHITTY CD-ROMS deuce: THE TOWEL IS FOR CATCHING THE SPURT SIR (YOU ARE SO NAIVE) pants: PROFESSIONALS ARE ALREADY WEARING THE KNEEPADS THEY PUT ON AT 5:30 THIS MORNING deuce: THAT'S THEIR CROSS TO BEAR pants: YOU DON'T SAY
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicksucking
#douglas-adams
#drunk-deuce
#hitchhikers-guide
#kneepads
#spurt
#towel
#woodring-room-background
490 1/29/2000 make files
atandt: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL FIX MY MAKEFILE
atandt
#atandt-solo
#bonghit
#for-fags-series
#makefile
#marijuana
#unix
#woodring-stairs-background
491 1/30/2000 swans to dongs
dick: I AM A PRACTITIONER OF THE ANCIENT ORIENTAL ART OF DONGAGAMI dick: I AM FOLDING DONGS IN TO SWANS AND SWANS IN TO DONGS dick: I GO BOTH WAYS dick: I AM SUSAN DEY FROM THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY YEARS dick: I INTEND TO KEEP TALKING UNTIL SOMEBODY INTERUPTS ME deuce: GALGHALGHLAGH dick: T DEUCE THANKS
deuce
dick
#bonequest-hd
#deuce-dick
#dongs
#drunk-deuce
#origami
#swan
#woodring-field-background
492 1/31/2000 your fatness
pants: HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR FATNESS LATELY deuce: YOU CAN'T BE REFERRING TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!! pants: WHICH ONE ARE YOU AGAIN (SQUINTING, TRYING TO MAKE YOU OUT) deuce: I DON'T KNOW EITHER deuce: JUST CARRY ON LIKE I'M NOT HERE GLHGULHGULHGULHGULHG pants: THAT WILL BE DIFFICULT DUE TO THE HUAHGUAHGUAG
deuce
pants
#aphex-twin
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#disappointed-pants
#drunk-deuce
#edited
#fat
#fatness
#laughing-deuce
#mousehole
#tits
#which-one-are-you
#woodring-room-background
493 2/1/2000 forced into little tents
pants: THIS SAYS FRAPPUCCINO BUT IT IS CLEARLY PISS spigot: DOES NOBODY CARE THAT SOON WE'LL BE FORCED INTO LITTLE TENTS AND CONCENTRATION CAMPS?!?!?! AND ALL OUR BONEQUEST HUMOR WILL BE USED AGAINST US IN A COURT OF COCKS?????? spigot: THE TIME TO BOMB IS NOW BEFORE THEY GET ANYMORE "IDEAS"
pants
spigot
#bomb
#bonequest
#bonequest-hi-fi
#cocks
#cocksucking
#coffee
#concentration-camp
#court
#ecommerce
#frappuccino
#pants-spigot
#piss
#starbucks-background
494 2/2/2000 4AM bonghit
spigot: TIME FROM MY 4AM BONGHIT deuce: BEER ME !!!!!!!!! GLAHAHGLAHAGUBUABUB spigot: WHOOPS !!!!!!!! MY ASHTRAY JUST GOT EMPTIED RIGHT OUT ONTO THE SIDEWALK TWENTY FEET BELOW ME spigot: I'D BETTER CLOSE THAT WINDOW !!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: OOPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BEER BOTTLES ???????????????? deuce: IT'S REALLY 4AM ISN'T IT spigot: SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HGGHUGLHGUGHUGULGHL deuce: OBVIOUSLY WE THREE ARE UNLOVED spigot: WE THREE KINGS spigot: WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN deuce: IN CORPUS SUCKUM
deuce
pants
spigot
#ashtray
#beer
#bonghit
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#early-morning-spigot
#filler-panel
#latin
#laughing-deuce
#marijuana
#woodring-room-background
495 2/3/2000 gay bats
spigot: I SUSPECT I WILL BE FOUND GUILTY OF FIRST DEGREE DICKLICKING pants: YOU CAN'T SEND US OUT THERE WITH THAT GAY BAT FLYING AROUND
pants
spigot
#adventure
#bat
#court
#dicklicking
#filler-panel
#flappity-bats
#gay-bats
#white-background
496 2/4/2000 hangman for fags
pants: I LIKE DI_K (ONLY ONE LETTER TO GO AND YOU WIN THE PRIZE) deuce: IT'S A C !!!!!!!!! pants: YOU WIN A C_CK deuce: IT'S A Q pants: CLOSE ENOUGH HAULGHALGHALUHGLAHG
deuce
pants
#cock
#deuce-pants
#dick
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#for-fags-series
#hangman
#plant
#woodring-field-background
497 2/5/2000 hole city
deuce: IT'S A HOLE CITY deuce: A CITY FILLED WITH HOLES deuce: I UNDERSTAND I AM BEING ABSTRACT HERE BUT THAT IS MY NATURE
deuce
#deuce-solo
#phil-hartman
#plant
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
498 2/6/2000 hostage!
spigot: GLGL pants: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR CARRYING NOTHING spigot: HOLD ON!!!!!!!!! spigot: (BONG NOISES) pants: THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING (SAID THROUGH BULLHORN)
pants
spigot
#boner
#bong
#bong-noises
#hostage
#marijuana
#mousehole
#multiple-backgrounds
#negotiations
#pants-spigot
#woodring-field-background
#woodring-room-background
499 2/7/2000 do you believe in love
spigot: WELL OBVIOUSLY CHER DOESN'T THINK I'M STRONG ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IN LOVE spigot: WELL WATCH THIS!!!!!!!! spigot: HLGUBHLRUHJJ0G9PTHGI&JB9J
spigot
#bonequest-hi-fi
#cher
#music
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
500 2/8/2000 it's a small, small world
dick: IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL / IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL dick: BUT IT STILL WON'T FIT UP MY ASS dick: OH WAIT - THERE IT WENT
dick
#anal
#dick-solo
#disney
#disneyland
#mother
#mousehole
#singing
#woodring-room-background
501 2/9/2000 da noise
spigot: BRING IN DA NOISE AND BRING OUT DA PRICKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: HOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M AN ADULT GAY MALE IN ADULT GAY DIAPERS
spigot
#adult-gay-male
#bonequest-hi-fi
#diapers
#gay
#gay-male
#mousehole
#pricks
#spigot-solo
#uppercase
#woodring-room-background
502 2/10/2000 boner jail
pants: T DEUCE PLEASE BAIL ME OUT OF BONER JAIL deuce: BANKRUPT
deuce
pants
#bankrupt
#bonequest-hd
#boner
#cocksucking
#coy-pants
#jail
#woodring-field-background
503 2/11/2000 the power of love
spigot: I ONLY SUCK DICK IN SELF DEFENSE spigot: AND AT THE BOOKSTORE pants: MUCH LIKE WALKER, TEXAS RANGER AND THAT OTHER FELLOW
pants
spigot
#bonequest-hi-fi
#dick
#dicksucking
#grin-panel
#pants-spigot
#walker-texas-ranger
#woodring-room-background
504 2/12/2000 punch him in the underpants
pants: PUNCH ME IN THE UNDERPANTS pants: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME J'S pants: I WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOME J'S pants: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ I AM JUST THAT GOOD pants: PUNCH ME IN THE UNDERPANTS
pants
#pants-lending-letters
#pants-solo
#underpants
#woodring-room-background
505 2/13/2000 transcendental cocksucking
atandt: OM atandt: OM HUALGHLAHGULAHULAG atandt: OM
atandt
#atandt-solo
#cocksucking
#meditation
#woodring-stairs-background
506 2/14/2000 alot
pants: I LOVE DICK A LOT (NOT "ALOT" BUT RATHER "A LOT") deuce: GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT DICKLOVING
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dick
#dickloving
#drunk-deuce
#grammar
#low-res
#woodring-field-background
507 2/15/2000 that mallet
pants: WHY ARE YOU HITTING ME WITH THAT MALLET deuce: NO REASON pants: BUT
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#mallet
#mousehole
#physical-comedy
#sfw
#violence
#woodring-room-background
508 2/16/2000 vacation slides
spigot: CHONKCHONK THIS IS ME LICKING DICK pants: CLICK WHIRR HERE I AM IN MY UNDERWEAR TAKING A BONGHIT spigot: CHONKCHONK HERE'S ME AGAIN WITH A DIFFERENT DICK (OR MAYBE THE SAME DICK)
pants
spigot
#bonghit
#dick
#dicklicking
#low-res
#pants-spigot
#slideshow
#underwear
#woodring-room-background
509 2/17/2000 STDERR
pants: YES IT CRASHED pants: NO I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T SEE STDERR FROM ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE pants: YES I WILL LOOK INTO IT WHEN I GET HOME pants: YES I WAS A LITTLE ROUGH WITH THE BABY pants: HELLO
pants
#baby
#mouth
#pants-solo
#stderr
#unix
#woodring-room-background
510 2/18/2000 gays in the military
spigot: I CAN'T DECIDE IF I WANT GAYS IN THE CLERGY OR GAYS IN THE MILITARY!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I SURE AS FUCK WANT THEM OUT OF MY /LESBIANS DIRECTORY
spigot
#filler-panel
#gay
#lesbian
#military
#politics
#porn
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
511 2/19/2000 atdt
atandt: ATDT IS MY LONG LOST INBRED COUSIN
atandt
#atandt-solo
#atdt
#cousin
#hayes-command-set
#inbred
#modem
#woodring-stairs-background
512 2/20/2000 swedish toilets
spigot: I AM SWEDISH AND DROWNING AND ASKING FOR HJALP spigot: JA JA IN DER TJOILETS
spigot
#drowning
#filler-panel
#miscredited-character
#mousehole
#spigot-solo
#swedish
#title-mismatch
#toilet
#woodring-room-background
513 2/21/2000 sweet land of liberty
deuce: ONLY IN AMERICA CAN WE BE THIS GAY AND NOT BE KILLED (ALTHOUGH BEATEN SEVERELY)
deuce
#america
#deuce-solo
#eminem
#gay
#hate-crime
#plant
#woodring-field-background
514 2/22/2000 the westminster dog show
spigot: DOOT DEE DOO!!!!! PACKING MY SUITCASE spigot: I LOVE ENGLAND T-SHIRT????? CHECK!!!!! spigot: FAKE FUCKED-UP BUCKTEETH??? CHECK spigot: KNICKERS, TROUSERS, JELLY BABIES, CHECK CHECK CHECK spigot: DOING A FUNNY WALK TO THE AIRPORT!!!!!!! WAVING THE UNION JACK!!!!!! spigot: VRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOM!!!! UP IN THE PLANE spigot: BLAH BLAH TALKING TO EVERYONE AND SPILLING THINGS AND MAKING FARTS spigot: SCREEEEEEEEEECH!!!! I'M HERE!!!!!!! spigot: FINALLY!!!!!! THE WESTMINSTER DONG SHOW!!!!!!!! spigot: AW CRIKEY
spigot
#british
#dog-show
#dong
#england
#farts
#monty-python
#spigot-solo
#union-jack
#woodring-field-background
515 2/23/2000 ropey jizz
pants: CHRIST-A-LORD THIS JIZZ IS ROPEY
pants
#be-gay-with-me
#christ
#coy-pants
#jizz
#pants-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
516 2/24/2000 how about a blowjob
spigot: HEY LADY HOW ABOUT A BLOWJOB?????????? spigot: NO I MEAN YOU -> ME spigot: A SLOBJOB THEN????????? STRANGLING YOU ANYWAY spigot: HURLKGLK THAT'S RIGHT spigot: SURPRISE YOU'RE AN IDIOT GHLGHLGHKK spigot: GHLRLGKL SAY WHAT???? SPEAK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LGHLGHLKR spigot: HELLO
spigot
#blowjob
#slobjob
#spigot-solo
#strangulation
#violence
#woodring-room-background
517 2/25/2000 up all night
spigot: UHHH497HBGNG pants: YOU'RE LOOKING RATHER RAGGED TODAY spigot: MY SCENE CALLS FOR ME TO HAVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT SUCKING COCK pants: A SPOT OF ADVICE FOR YOU THEN OLD BOY pants: TRY ACTING spigot: DO8FSDFGMMM
pants
spigot
#advice
#cocksucking
#dick
#dustin-hoffman
#filler-panel
#film
#laurence-olivier
#marathon-man
#pants-spigot
#woodring-room-background
518 2/26/2000 happiness is a warm colon
spigot: I FOR ONE WILL NEVER FORGET CHARLES SCHULZ!!!!! deuce: ME TOO spigot: ME THREE spigot: ME TEN FUCKING MILLION deuce: I WOULD LIKE TO ALSO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS TOPIC BY SAYING THAT I TOO WILL NEVER FORGET GAHAGLHGULHBULHAULHGLHAGLHAG WHAT'S IN ME CHARLIE BROWN
deuce
spigot
#charles-schultz
#charlie-brown
#current-events
#deuce-spigot
#maurice-sendak
#peanuts
#woodring-stairs-background
519 2/27/2000 el faggot
pants: STAY PUT EL FAGGOT deuce: EAT SHIT pants: OKAY pants: MY MOUTH IS SO DRY deuce: DRINKING pants: SLURPING deuce: WISH THE GUY WHO MADE THIS SHIT HAD DIARHHEA pants: GROSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: I GO POGO deuce: GET THE FUCK BACK HERE YOU STUPID PRICK
deuce
pants
#coprophagia
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#diarrhea
#drunk-deuce
#el-faggot
#huffy-pants
#pogo
#spanish
#typo
#woodring-stairs-background
520 2/28/2000 not real bananas
spigot: THE HANDS OF THE CLOCK TELL ME IT'S TIME FOR DOPE spigot: THEY'RE NOT REAL BANANAS, THEY JUST WEAR PAJAMAS FOR THE SHOW deuce: LIAR
deuce
spigot
#banana
#bananas-in-pajamas
#deuce-spigot
#filler-panel
#marijuana
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
521 2/29/2000 bottles of wine, jars of urine
spigot: MY BONER WON'T LET ME SLEEP spigot: I'M GOING TO SEDATE IT WITH ALCOHOL spigot: WELL TURNS OUT THE BOTTLES OF WINE AND MY JARS OF URINE IN THE GARAGE LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE spigot: BOY THAT STAYS WITH YOU
spigot
#boner
#garage
#spigot-solo
#urine
#urolagnia
#wine
#woodring-field-background
522 3/1/2000 does not compute
pants: I LICKED NINE DICKS TODAY spigot: ONE pants: WHAT spigot: NOTHING
pants
spigot
#dicklicking
#huffy-pants
#mousehole
#nine-dicks
#pants-spigot
#plant
#woodring-field-background
523 3/2/2000 duck duck goose
spigot: DUCK spigot: DUCK spigot: DUCK spigot: DUCK spigot: DUCK spigot: DUCK spigot: GOOSE pants: OH MY DEAR LORD spigot: HGLHBGLHBLHGLBH pants: HUGALUGAHHULG
spigot
#cocksucking-noises
#drunk-deuce
#duck-duck-goose
#jenv
#jerkcity-presents
#many-characters
#sfw
#special-guest
#the-gangs-all-here
#uncensored
#uncredited-character
#woodring-room-background
524 3/3/2000 the faq wizard
atandt: I NEED A QUICK DICK INJECTION spigot: DOWN DA DOWNT / DOWN DA DOWNT / DOWNANA DOWNT atandt: IF ONLY spigot: HOOOO WEEEEE OOOOOOO / DOCTOR WHO pants: THE FAQ WIZARD WILL HELP ME TO LICK MORE EFFICIENTLY
atandt
pants
spigot
#atandt-pants-spigot
#dick
#dick-injection
#dr-who
#faq
#licking
#wizard
#woodring-field-background
525 3/4/2000 frightening children
pants: I AM NOT EMBARASSED BY MY ERECTION deuce: YOUR ERECTION IS FRIGHTENING CHILDREN EVERYWHERE SO IT IS NOT SO MUCH SOMETHING TO BE EMBARASSED ABOUT BUT RATHER SOMETHING TO BE CONTROLLED AND REGULATED deuce: T SPIGOT AND AS FOR YOU YOU KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING RIGHT NOW (YOU GIVE ME A LAP DANCE) spigot: BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEGBLBLGP pants: I AM A MONSTER
deuce
pants
spigot
#beetlejuice
#boner
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drowning-bucket
#erection
#lap-dance
#woodring-stairs-background
526 3/5/2000 grok
spigot: GROK IS A WORD MEANING "I'M FAT, I HAVE A HUGE U.C. BERKELEY BEARD, AND I'M AFRAID TO HIT ON GIRLS" deuce: T SPIGOT I AM GROKKING YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT spigot: ABSOLUTELY NOT deuce: T SPIGOT OKAY deuce: T SPIGOT I'M SORRY spigot: I GOT GAME
deuce
spigot
#bbc
#berkeley
#deuce-spigot
#grok
#heinlen
#mousehole
#nerd-culture
#sad-deuce
#sfw
#stranger-in-a-strange-land
#woodring-room-background
527 3/6/2000 all i needed to know
pants: ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM SUCKING COCKS UNDER THE FREEWAY deuce: MURPHY'S LAW OF PIZZA #47: IT HURTS TO TAKE IT UP THE ASS
deuce
pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#education
#jizz
#jizzing-up
#mousehole
#murphys-law
#pizza
#woodring-room-background
528 3/7/2000 jerkcity pledge break
spigot: FOLKS IF YOU WANT TO SUPPORT JERKCITY YOU CAN DO IT WITH ANONYMOUS DOLLARS SO I CAN'T TRACE IT BACK TO YOUR FUCKING SPEECH & DEBATE TEAM!!!!! OKAY?!?!?! AND GIRLS PLEASE: READ A BARELY LEGAL BEFORE RINGING MY DOORBELL
spigot
#barely-legal
#folks
#pledge
#spigot-solo
#this-space-for-rent
#woodring-room-background
529 3/8/2000 yay kevin is free
spigot: YAY!!!!! KEVIN IS FREE TO ROAM THE EARTH AND SUCK COCK AND GET OLD AND DIE pants: KEVIN OVER MY SHOULDER ASKING ME TO TYPE THINGS FOR HIM spigot: CD INTO THAT DIR!!!!! NOW VI
pants
spigot
#cocksucking
#filler-panel
#kevin-mitnick
#pants-spigot
#plant
#unix
#vi
#woodring-field-background
530 3/9/2000 the pincers of power!
spigot: TO THE GROUND WITH YOU! DOWN -- BEFORE THE MIGHT OF DORMAMMU pants: THE ANCIENT ONE IS SENDING ME A MENTAL SUMMONS ! THE TIME IS AT HAND -- HE WILL CHOOSE THE INSTANT! AND -- HE TELLS ME -- NOW spigot: WHAT IS THIS ?? YOU START TO DRAW BACK -- STRAINING AGINST ME AS IF WITH NEW-FOUND STRENGTH pants: THE TIME FOR PRETENSE IS PAST! spigot: I WANTED TO DO THE HULK VS. THE THING
pants
spigot
#dorammu
#dr-strange
#fantastic-four
#hulk
#marvel
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#strange-tales
#typo
#woodring-stairs-background
531 3/10/2000 this week's newsletter
spigot: AGAIN PEOPLE PLEASE LEAVE SOME DICK FOR OTHERS spigot: IF EVERYONE JUST GARGLED THEM ALL UP AND DOWN AND EVERY WHICH WAY HOW DO YOU THINK THE NEXT GAY PERSON MIGHT FEEL spigot: I'LL BET NOT TOO GOOD
spigot
#bonequest-hi-fi
#cocksucking
#dick
#gay
#marriage
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
532 3/11/2000 mental note
deuce: MENTAL NOTE: DO MONOLOGUES ON SUNDAYS WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS AROUND SO NO ONE INTERRUPTS SLASH STEALS PUNCHLINES
deuce
#deuce-solo
#may
#mental-note
#monologue
#punchline
#sfw
#sunday
#woodring-stairs-background
533 3/12/2000 wheelchair ramp
spigot: MY JUNIOR YEAR IS REALLY MY MOST IMPORTANT YEAR EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: HOARRKKTH BULLETS THROUGH MY HEAD AND MOUTH AND FACE AND BALLS AND LEGS spigot: I HOPE BYU HAS A WHEELCHAIR RAMP
spigot
#ada
#balls
#bullets
#byu
#education
#mousehole
#mouth
#school
#school-shooting
#university
#wheelchair
#wheelchair-ramp
#woodring-room-background
534 3/13/2000 cherry
spigot: TOO DAZED WITH DICKS TO BOOKMARK THE BABYLON 5 FAQ spigot: PROBLEMS spigot: TALKING TO YOU ONLINE FOLKS pants: SORRY WAS BUSY STUFFING MY FACE WITH CARROTS STICKS AND CELERY spigot: AND pants: AND CAKE pants: AND A HOSTESS PIE (CHERRY) spigot: WE ALL LICK DICKS DON'T WE deuce: MORE OR LESS
deuce
pants
spigot
#babylon-5
#cake
#carrots
#celery
#dazed-with
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicklicking
#dicks
#fat
#fatness
#folks
#food
#hostess
#mouth-of-pants
#pie
#problems
#woodring-room-background
535 3/14/2000 come on world
pants: BE GAY WITH ME spigot: AND THEY'RE OFF spigot: [LONE RANGER THEME]
pants
spigot
#be-gay-with-me
#lone-ranger
#music
#pants-spigot
#william-tell-overture
#woodring-room-background
536 3/15/2000 deuce as job
deuce: I HAVE TAPED A CROSS TO MY DOOR BUT STILL THE DICKS COME POURING IN AT NIGHT deuce: DEAR GOD HOW CAN I POSSIBLY WORSHIP YOU WHEN YOU HAVE SENT THESE THINGS TO POUND AROUND MY FACE/ASS/HAIR deuce: I MEAN JESUS DICKS AND PRICKS GIVE ME A SIGN OR SOMETHING I FEEL LIKE JOB (PRONOUNCED J-O-B THOUGH)
deuce
#ass
#bible
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce-solo
#dicks
#face
#god
#jesus
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
537 3/16/2000 i'm with e-z lay
spigot: FOLKS I JUST TOOK A DATE-RAPE DRUG AND I'LL BE OUTSIDE ON THE LAWN
spigot
#date-rape-drug
#drugs
#folks
#lawn
#mousehole
#null
#rape
#rohypnol
#woodring-field-background
538 3/17/2000 the economics of electronic commerce
atandt: CHAPTER ONE: ELECTRONIC COMMERCE AND THE INTERNET atandt: CHAPTER TWO: CHARACTERISTICS OF DIGITAL PRODUCTS AND PROCESSES atandt: CHAPTER THREE: INTERNET INFRASTRUCTURE AND PRICING atandt: CHAPTER FOUR: ECONOMIC ASPECTS OF COPYRIGHT PROTECTION atandt: CHAPTER FIVE: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR WANG IS STUCK FAST IN THE GLORY HOLE atandt: CHAPTER SIX: HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE A JOHN OR A JOHN'S JOHN atandt: CHAPTER SEVEN: OOF URF YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE atandt: PLEASE SEND HELP OR MCDONALD'S
atandt
#atandt-solo
#books
#chapters
#glory-hole
#help
#john
#johnny-cash
#mcdonalds
#urf
#wang
#woodring-field-background
539 3/18/2000 and he said unto them
pants: AND SO JESUS CAME OUT OF THE CAVE AND SAID "IT'S OKAY TO BE GAY" pants: GHALUGHLUAGH spigot: BUALBGULABGLUAG deuce: HLUAGHULALGAG
deuce
pants
spigot
#angry-panel
#bible
#bonequest-hd
#cave
#coy-pants
#gay
#huffy-pants
#jesus
#religion
#woodring-stairs-background
540 3/19/2000 lies
spigot: YOU LIED ABOUT DOCTOR WHO BEING IN YOUR PANTS POCKET deuce: IT WAS AT MOST AN EXAGGERATION spigot: MY MOUTH IS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE THAN THE OUU OWW HOOF
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#dr-who
#drunk-deuce
#gay-dads
#hoof
#low-res
#spigot-points
#tardis
#woodring-room-background
541 3/20/2000 a little uninteresting
atandt: DID SOMEONE SAY FOOD deuce: SHUT UP ALREADY atandt: I FEEL UNLOVED deuce: AND PROBABLY A LITTLE UNINTERESTING atandt: THAT TOO
atandt
deuce
#atandt-deuce
#atandt-deuce-disconnect
#drunk-deuce
#food
#mousehole
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
542 3/21/2000 making change
pants: ARE WE THE JERKCITY PLAYERS OR JUST COMMON FAGS spigot: SIR I AM VERY CLEARLY SLIDING THE $10 BETWEEN THE STALL WALLS pants: RETURNING A FIVE AND FIVE ONES INDIVIDUALLY spigot: I'M GOING TO NEED CHANGE FOR THE METER (BANGING, FLUSHING)
pants
spigot
#angry-panel
#bonequest-hd
#change
#fags
#glory-hole
#huffy-pants
#iris-was-born
#pants-spigot
#toilet
#woodring-stairs-background
543 3/22/2000 aikido
spigot: DID I SAY AIKIDO??? I MEANT MY SKILLS AS A TURNTABLEIST spigot: A PTTHT spigot: A FPFPFPF deuce: VRP A VRP A VRP A VRP pants: O SOLO BONERS (JUST JOINING IN) spigot: I'M JAMMIN' ON THE ONE LIKE THEO HUXTABLE!!!!! pants: WE ARE ALL GLEAMING THE CUBE deuce: STEVIE WONDER GUEST STARS pants: I HAVE A CONDITION KNOWN AS COTTONMOUTH, THE MUNCHIES deuce: PLEASE SETTLE DOWN pants: I AM STILL VERY THIRSTY
deuce
pants
spigot
#ableist
#boner
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#mouth-of-pants
#rap
#stevie-wonder
#woodring-field-background
544 3/23/2000 o untimely death
pants: I CAN'T SEE WITH THIS BLINDING WHITE LIGHT pants: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN NOW !!! MY WORK IS NOT DONE HERE !!! pants: AT LEAST PUT ME BACK ON EARTH IN THE BODY OF A COCKSUCKER
pants
#cocksucking
#heaven
#madonna
#pants-solo
#woodring-field-background
545 3/24/2000 a cornfed american beauty
pants: MY MOUTH pants: SHE'S A BEAUTY pants: AIN'T SHE atandt: A ONE IN A MILLION MOUTH
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#bonequest-hd
#huffy-pants
#mouth
#mouth-of-pants
#sfw
#the-tubes
#woodring-field-background
546 3/25/2000 an open letter to ayn rand
deuce: T AYN I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT A NOVEL WHERE A CHARACTER HAS A 200 PAGE MONOLOGUE ISN'T A NOVEL YOU'VE GOT THERE IT'S A STEAMING PILE OF SHIT spigot: ATLAS SUCKED
deuce
spigot
#atlas-shrugged
#ayn-rand
#deuce-spigot
#monologue
#plant
#woodring-field-background
547 3/26/2000 pastries
pants: PASTRIES IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM !!!!!! pants: PASTRIES AND PIES AND ALL THINGS GREAT AND SMALL FILLED WITH JELLY, CUSTARD spigot: GO AWAY, YOU HORRIBLE PEAR-SHAPED ADMIN pants: GASP spigot: YES!!!!! YOUR BIG FAT ASS IS BLOCKING MY OTHERWISE PERFECT VIEW OF EMPTY SPACE pants: EYES FILLING UP WITH TEARS spigot: I SAID FUCKING GET OUT!!!!! pants: SOB CHOKE DUH spigot: HOMPTH HURMPTH COFFEE CAKE
pants
spigot
#cake
#choking
#coffee
#coffee-cake
#fat
#homph
#pants-spigot
#pie
#tears
#woodring-room-background
548 3/27/2000 pretty good piss
spigot: POLICE CHALLENGE PENTAGON INVESTIGAION AND SHOOT GAYS spigot: AJGF9402JGEIDA;JLG49E0WIRKDIVAO <-- MY PGP deuce: I THINK YOUR PGP KEY HAS BEEN COMPROMISED (CLEARLY IT'S GAY)
deuce
spigot
#drunk-deuce
#encryption
#gay
#pants-spigot
#pgp
#police
#poo
#woodring-stairs-background
549 3/28/2000 a poem by dick
dick: GLORIOUS ORGAN dick: NEAR PERFECT DICK dick: FONDLING ORPHANS dick: QUITE A NEAT TRICK dick: THANK YOU
dick
#dick-solo
#orphans
#poetry
#pricks
#woodring-stairs-background
550 3/29/2000 untitled #4
pants: LITTLE BONGHIT deuce: SUCKING ??? pants: WHAT DOES YOUR SANDWICH BOARD SAY deuce: I AM SUFFERING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION deuce: HHHHH AIR PLZ pants: I CANNOT ALLOW THIS spigot: PIGTAILS
deuce
pants
spigot
#bonghit
#coy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#heart-attack
#hhhhh
#marijuana
#sandwich-board
#untitled
#woodring-stairs-background
551 3/30/2000 poetry slam
atandt: AN ODE TO THE HOMELESS OF SAN FRANCISCO atandt: OH, HOMELESS atandt: OH, HOMELESS atandt: STRONG OF HEART atandt: STRONG OF WILL atandt: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE I BEAT YOU SENSELESS WITH MY FUCKING NUTS atandt: THANK U atandt: WORRIED ABOUT 2PAC
atandt
#20-something-year-old
#2pac
#atandt-solo
#bay-area
#dong
#homeless
#mountain-background
#nuts
#poetry
#san-francisco
552 3/31/2000 random senseless cocksucking
deuce: WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR FREE I WAS UP LATE DRINKING
deuce
#alcohol
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#nantucket
#woodring-stairs-background
553 4/1/2000 seti@home
deuce: I'M A SETI@HOME USER !!!!! deuce: I TRACK THE PROGRESS OF MY WORK UNITS VERY CLOSELY !!!!!!! deuce: I CAN TELL YOU WHERE IN THE SKY MY WORK UNITS ARE FROM !!!!!!!!! deuce: I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE RIGHT -- deuce: NAY, RESPONISIBLITY -- deuce: TO OPEN MY FAT FUCKING MOUTH deuce: WHENEVER I THINK OF SOME SHIT STUPID SCHEME FOR IMPROVING SETI !!!!!!! deuce: SIR YOUR BOOT AND MY NECK spigot: I HACKED THE SETI SCREEN SAVER SO IT ALWAYS LOOKS SPIKEY AND IMPORTANT!!!! deuce: NOT KIDDING ABOUT THAT BOOT spigot: I WILL WIN THE PEACE PRIZE, REWARD MONEY
deuce
spigot
#boot
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#fat-fucking-mouth
#filler-panel
#nobel
#seti
#violent-disapproval
#woodring-stairs-background
554 4/2/2000 BEENZ
spigot: CLICK HERE TO SIGN MY GUESTBOO</HREF> deuce: FUCK YOU spigot: BEENZ!!!!!!!!!! THE WEB'S CURRENCY deuce: THE MORE YOU EAT / THE MLG KFSHLG LSGHSLG HLSHGSG spigot: EVERYTHING I TOUCH TURNS INTO BEENZ deuce: BEENZ BEENZ / THEY MAKE YOU FSHLGLS GHSLGHLS HGSG spigot: TIME TO KICK IT AND STREAM THESE BEENZ BROADBAND STYLE deuce: POUND MY ASS spigot: BEENZ.COM PURCHASES MACROMEDIA FOR RECORD TEN BILLION BEENZ
deuce
spigot
#beans
#beenz
#business
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#flash
#guestbook
#html
#internet
#macromedia
#midas-touch
#woodring-stairs-background
555 4/3/2000 weather advisory
atandt: SEVERE WEATHER ADVISORY atandt: MY FACE atandt: YOUR NUTS atandt: UHGUGHUGHUGHGUHG atandt: TOMORROW: PARTLY CLOUDY atandt: YOUR NUTS AGAIN spigot: SCATTERED SHOWERS
atandt
spigot
#atandt-spigot
#face
#nuts
#nuts-of-spigot
#piss
#weather
#woodring-room-background
556 4/4/2000 please transpose me
deuce: I AM A MATRIX PRODUCT PLEASE TRANSPOSE ME
deuce
#deuce-solo
#math
#matrix-math
#sfw
#why-was-this-redone
#woodring-stairs-background
557 4/5/2000 the urine
spigot: HURRFGGHLGHLGUHGGLE HEY SOMEONE CLEANED UP THE URINE BACK HERE GURRRHUNGGUH
spigot
#low-res
#spigot-solo
#urine
#woodring-stairs-background
558 4/6/2000 the black dot from adventure
pants: * deuce: THE BLACK DOT FROM ADVENTURE CAN NOT HELP YOU NOW
deuce
pants
#custom-background
559 4/7/2000 kit kats
spigot: THIS NEWSGROUP IS FOR ***SERIOUS*** PERL LOVERS ONLY IN THE 415 deuce: I HAVE A BOX OF KIT KATS !!!! CAN'T I JOIN spigot: THESE CLIP ART CD'S PROVE I'M ABLE TO DESIGN ***YOUR*** E-BUSINESS!!!! spigot: CLICK HERE TO EMAIL ME!!!!!!!!! spigot: YOU CAN DISMISS THE GEOCITIES POP-UP WINDOW BY CLICKING THE CLOSE BOX pants: CAN I ALSO CLICK ON THE WINDOW'S DISMISS BUTTON ?!!??! OR USE XKILL deuce: WHERE DID ALL MY KIT KATS GO pants: YOU HAVE TO LEAVE NOW deuce: I FEEL USED
deuce
pants
spigot
#mountain-background
#sfw
560 4/8/2000 the bargains
spigot: SIR YOU ARE PUNCHING MY TEEF OU ANG I HAVENG EVEN SHOWG YOU THE BARGAINS
spigot
#advertising
#low-res
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
#violence
561 4/9/2000 stuck in the toilet
deuce: I GOT MY ASS STUCK IN THE TOILET AGAIN deuce: CROWBAR PLZ deuce: I CANNOT FIND THE ZEN IN THIS deuce: HURRY
deuce
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce-solo
#toilet
#woodring-room-background
562 4/10/2000 badly confused
pants: WHAT PAGE ARE WE ON pants: HOW DID I GET HERE pants: COULD I PLEASE HAVE A SANDWICH, A COLA pants: WHY IS THE MAN KEEPING ME DOWN pants: WHY IS THE MAN KEEPING ME DOWN IN HIS LAP pants: I SAID pants: SIR pants: OH FORGET IT AHLUGUAL HUALUBGUH AGBUALUH
pants
#confusion
#pants-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
563 4/11/2000 unclog
pants: CAN WE PLEASE UNCLOG THE TOILET THE OLD FASHIONED WAY pants: THIS VENTI MOCHA IS MAKING ME SQUIRTY spigot: BETTER REGISTER AN EPINION pants: IT'S ALL OVER THE KEYBOARD pants: THE POINTING DEVICE spigot: THAT'S OUT THEN pants: PRESSING THE STAR KEY FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE spigot: NOWHERE DOT FATLAB DOT MIDDLEAMERICA DOT EDU
pants
spigot
#yellow-background
564 4/12/2000 another pop up window
spigot: CLICK HERE TO BEGIN TARZAN'S INTERACTIVE ADVENTURE!!!!! spigot: CMD-W spigot: ANOTHER POP UP WINDOW?????? spigot: CLICK HERE TO DO LAUNDRY AND MAKE POTSTICKERS WITH MULAN!!!!! spigot: ALT+F4
spigot
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
565 4/13/2000 rands is thinking about dick
rands
#alien
#dick
#uncensored
#woodring-stairs-background
566 4/14/2000 dick-like
pants: CAN WE BOTH LIKE DICK pants: THAT'S RIGHT: LIKE pants: AS IN: WE WILL SIT AROUND AND APPRECIATE DICK pants: (WRITE POEMS, SING SONGS, ETC.) deuce: I DON'T KNOW SOUNDS A LITTLE QUEER TO ME deuce: THE JOKE THERE BEING THAT ACTUALLY SUCKING, LICKING DICK, ETC. IS PERFECTLY STRAIGHT deuce: BUT SITTING AROUND AND WRITING POETRY AND SONGS ABOUT DICK IS TOTALLY GAY deuce: APPLAUSE pants: I WILL BE GAY FOR UNDER A DOLLAR
deuce
pants
#dick
#woodring-field-background
567 4/15/2000 the early years (act 1, scene 1)
pants: HMN spigot: WHAT pants: OH NOTHING spigot: I THOUGHT YOU SAID SOMETHING pants: NO, NO
pants
spigot
568 4/16/2000 the early years (act 1, scene 2)
pants: UH pants: YOU WANNA GET SOMETHING TO EAT spigot: UH spigot: MAYBE LATER pants: WE CAN GET BURRITOS OR SOMETHING
pants
spigot
#woodring-room-background
569 4/17/2000 the stairs
spigot: CHRISTOPHER REEVE PRESENTS STEPHEN KING'S THE STAIRS
spigot
#christopher-reeve
#mountain-background
#sfw
#stephen-king
570 4/18/2000 space face
pants: SPACE FACE spigot: A MOUTH NOT UNLIKE THE TARDIS pants: MORE LIKE SICK & TIRED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: MORE LIKE I'LL BE IN TECH SUPPORT MY WHOLE LIFE !!!!!!! CLICK HERE FOR USER FRIENDLY BANNERS pants: WELP !!!!!!!!!!!! I'M A LOSER
pants
spigot
#woodring-room-background
571 4/19/2000 pass it on
spigot: I NOTICE WHEN I CLEAN THE PIPE THE DOPE SMOKE ACTUALLY GETS ME HIGH !!!!!!!! BEEP DEUCE PASS IT ON !!!!!!!!! deuce: I DO NOT BELIEVE ONE WORD OF THAT spigot: THINK OF IT AS PUNCHING A WOMAN IN THE MOUTH TO ENSURE A MORE FOCUSED "B.J." IF YOU KNOW WHERE I'M GOING WITH THAT deuce: NO BUT NOW I'M AROUSED
deuce
spigot
#blowjob
#deuce-spigot
#dope
#marijuana
#mousehole
#women
#woodring-room-background
572 4/20/2000 pee fight
deuce: PEE FIGHT spigot: WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO spigot: THIS IS CHANNEL #FUNNYJOKES NOT CHANNEL #PRESSRELEASE
deuce
spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
573 4/21/2000 sir yes sir
deuce: WINDOWS NT PEOPLE spigot: THAT STANDS FOR NICE TITS deuce: WRONG-O spigot: YOU SPELLED "YES SIR" INCORRECTLY deuce: YES SIR
deuce
spigot
#custom-background
574 4/22/2000 sir your tongue is much too close
pants: SIR YOUR TONGUE IS MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO CLOSE deuce: AHHHHHHH pants: SIR YOUR TONGUE IS MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO CLOSE deuce: AHHHHHHH pants: SIR YOUR TONGUE IS MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO CLOSE deuce: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
575 4/23/2000 some really good shit
spigot: I'M THE UNABOMBER spigot: HIDDLY PIDDLY HOOOBOOO BLUBLUBLUB I'LL BLOW UP MY OWN BALLS spigot: I LIVE IN A CABIN AND RIDE MY BIKE spigot: BUT I'M NOT QUEER - I'M THE UNABOMBER spigot: HURRRRRRRR HOOOOO BOP WOP
spigot
#mars-background
#unabomber
576 4/24/2000 sprint sense hurts
pants: GIVE ME A DOLLAR spigot: ONE MINUTE TWO MINUTES THRRRRRRRRRRRRR SPRINT SENSE HURTS pants: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR spigot: MY BATHROOM pants: RUGBURN ON MY FOREHEAD PEOPLE THIS SUCKS
pants
spigot
#woodring-room-background
577 4/25/2000 talking on the computer
spigot: I AM TALKING ON THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!! pants: BEEP BOOP 100100010 1010101101 00101100101 MEANS I LICK DICK
pants
spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
578 4/26/2000 the toilet story
pants: I WAS ONLY IN THERE WITH HIM BECAUSE HE THREATENED ME pants: WELL I *FELT* THREATENED ANYWAY pants: AND THAT'S WHAT THE WHOLE TOILET STORY IS REALLY ABOUT spigot: I THINK YOU WERE JUST COLD pants: OKAY spigot: I THINK YOU DO KNOW spigot: I THINK YOU COULD ELABORATE MUCH MORE ABOUT WHAT GOES IN THOSE PLACES pants: DON'T BLOW IT FOR ME spigot: "DUH SPIGOT I'M GOING OUT FOR SMOKES BACK LATER" YOU DON'T EVEN SMOKE
pants
spigot
#gay
#huffy-pants
#lies
#pants-spigot
#toilet
#woodring-field-background
579 4/27/2000 the way you close your eyes
pants: FLOSSING IS GROOVY
pants
#custom-background
#sfw
580 4/28/2000 mousing around
hanford: NO I WILL NOT hanford: I'M NOT DOING DICK ON OR OFF CAMERA, MY LAST CHECK BOUNCED AND YOU STILL OWE ME FOR OVERTIME FROM APRIL : GENTLE READER: DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WE WILL BE SHOWING A SERIES OF INTROSPECTIVE STRIPS SOONER THAN WE HAD ORIGINALLY PLANNED. WE APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT IN THIS MATTER. YOURS, ROOT@JERKCITY.COM
hanford
#hanford-solo
#woodring-field-background
#zen-boners-week
581 4/29/2000 pants in repose
pants: YES HI IT'S ME PANTS FROM JER-- BONEQUEST pants: WHAT KIND OF MONSTER WOULD DO SUCH A THING pants: PERHAPS HE WOULD BE VERY ATTRACTIVE AND SMELL NICE pants: BUT STILL A MONSTER
pants
#pants-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
#zen-boners-week
582 4/30/2000 tranquillity of mind (zen boners 2 of 4)
spigot: FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT USE YOUR TOWEL
spigot
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
#zen-boners-week
583 5/1/2000 pants has a secret (zen boners 3 of 4)
pants: JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME ... pants: ... I AM WILLING TO BE GAY WITH YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU pants: PASS IT ON
pants
#woodring-room-background
#zen-boners-week
584 5/2/2000 introspective (zen boners 4 of 4)
deuce: YEAH deuce: FUCK YEAH
deuce
#deucegrin
#lowercase
#woodring-room-background
#zen-boners-week
585 5/3/2000 the end
pants: CAN WE START RECYCLING OLD STRIPS YET ?!?!? pants: THIS IS A GOOD TIME FOR SPRING CLEANING atandt: GAAAAA pants: THIS IS ALSO A GOOD TIME FOR LICKING DICK pants: ARE YOU WITH ME PRIVATE ATANDT atandt: UGHGLHG pants: CAN I HAVE A BOOST SO WE CAN GET THIS THING STARTED atandt: BUHRRR pants: I AM LICKING DICKS IN A PAPER BAG pants: OH YOU'RE BACK EH atandt: I MEAN UH HUGHUGGHARR pants: IS THIS A RE-RUN OR IS THIS A RE-RUN atandt: CAN I GO
atandt
pants
#black-background
586 5/4/2000 tree frogs
katrina: WHAT'S THIS IN MY INBOX? pants: OH GOD YOU SCARED ME katrina: >> AFRICAN TREE FROGS FOR SALE pants: INDEED MADAME, I AM SELLING ALL MY AFRICAN TREE FROGS katrina: WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME? pants: BECAUSE YOU'RE ON MY AFRICAN TREE FROG MAILING LIST!!! katrina: WHO PUT ME THERE? pants: I DID katrina: WELL I'D APPRECIATE YOU NOT SPAMMING ME ANY FURTHER !!!! katrina: GOOD DAY SIR pants: GOOD DAY pants: SUBJECT: $$$$$ AMERICA IS K-RAZY FOR TREE FROGS $$$$$$$$
katrina
pants
#africa
#credited-woman
#frog
#katrina
#mailing-list
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
587 5/5/2000 p.e.e.
spigot: PREMATURE EJACULATION ENCOURAGEMENT pants: HUHHHHHHHHHHHHH BURGERS
pants
spigot
#burgers
#ejaculation
#pants-spigot
#woodring-field-background
588 5/6/2000 waxing gay
deuce: IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S ALREADY 1997 deuce: TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
deuce
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
589 5/7/2000 dicklicking clarification
deuce: I WANT CLARIFICATION ON MY DICKLICKING pants: I AM GOING TO LICK YOUR DICK FROM 7:10 TO 7:14 AT WHICH POINT YOU WILL GUM UP THE WORKS AND TIP ME A WOODEN NICKEL WHICH I WILL PROMPTLY EAT deuce: DONE deuce: AND I MEAN DONE
deuce
pants
#a-love-story
#deuce-pants
#dick
#dicklicking
#mousehole
#nickel
#stoned
#woodring-stairs-background
590 5/8/2000 leftwise, rightways
pants: GLUG ME DOWN LEFTWISE AND RIGHTWAYS deuce: I DON'T NEED TO FOLLOW YOUR SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS pants: BUT deuce: WHAT IF I WANT TO GO RIGHT AND THEN LEFT AND THEN UP pants: BUT I deuce: WHAT ARE YOU A NAZI ??? pants: MY POINT IS THAT RIGHT AND THEN LEFT AND THEN UP VIOLATES THE PRIME DIRECTIVE deuce: OH deuce: I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN deuce: WELL WE'RE AT AN IMPASS HERE deuce: SO I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE YOU FROM BEHIND pants: THAT IS A LEGAL MOVE AND LUAHGOLAL
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
591 5/9/2000 louding
pants: BONERPLEX pants: LOUDING deuce: THAT WOULD BE 10^10^BONERS pants: NOTHING AT ALL LIKE ROLLERBALL
deuce
pants
#grey-background
592 5/10/2000 gay rights right now
spigot: WELCOME TO WILD WILD CYBERSPACE spigot: PUNCHING YOUR THROAT pants: OUR RIGHTS ONLINE spigot: WHAT ABOUT GAY RIGHTS ONLINE spigot: GAY RIGHTS NOW pants: THEY MUST BE DEFENDED AT ALL COSTS spigot: GAY RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE spigot: GAY GAY GAY GYA GAY GAY $(*RG#(R)GJ spigot: URK pants: MAN DOWN
pants
spigot
#cyberspace
#gay-rights
593 5/11/2000 save me a seat
pants: SAVE ME A SEAT pants: BY WHICH I MEAN A TOILET SEAT!!!! A SEAT ON THE TOILET GHLAHLUAGHAG pants: LOVELY ACOUSTICS IN HERE
pants
#woodring-stairs-background
594 5/12/2000 pants vs. the boner monster
pants: WELL I TAMED THE BONER MONSTER !!! WHO WANTS TO PET IT
pants
#ass
#boner
#christ-jesus
#jesus
#monster
#pants-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
595 5/13/2000 pants tries to lick a giant spider's dick
pants: THE GIANT SPIDER IS JUST INTO SITTING STILL AND SIGHING !!! I WILL PET HIM !!!! OW OW pants: OW OW HE DOES NOT APPEAR TO HAVE A DICK I CAN LICK OW OW OW pants: TOO MANY
pants
#dicklicking
#pants-solo
#photoshop
#spiders
#video-games
#woodring-room-background
596 5/14/2000 your mother should know (doot doot)
pants: YOUR MOTHER SHOULD KNOW (DOOT DOOT) pants: HOW TO EAT SHIT: AN ESSAY pants: CHAPTER ONE: SHIT EATING pants: HAULGHA LHF08YF CHOMP HORBFHLF BALGBAG deuce: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S 326 PAGES OF THAT pants: AND $49.95 pants: EVEN AT SUPER CROWN !!! deuce: WELL IT **IS** THE DEFINITIVE REFERENCE
deuce
pants
#beatles
#woodring-room-background
597 5/15/2000 a moment of silence
deuce: COULD WE PLEASE HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR MY BONER : DEUCE SNIFFLES QUIETLY deuce: THANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
deuce
#boner
#deuce-solo
#woodring-den-background
598 5/16/2000 a jerkcity tribute
pants: A JERKCITY TRIBUTE TO THE LESS IMPORTANT CHARACTERS STARRING MOST OF THEM spigot: YAY pants: I MEAN TO SAY THE ONES THAT ARE LESS FUNNY OR WHATEVER IS LESS INSULTING spigot: JUST TRY TO BE QUIET pants: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE I CAUSED spigot: A WHAT
pants
spigot
#mountain-background
599 5/17/2000 the sweetbread shortage
pants: I HAVE MICROSOFT ON THE HORN !!! THEY'RE VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE SWEETBREAD SHORTAGE
pants
#microsoft
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#sweetbread
#woodring-room-background
600 5/18/2000 immigrant song
spigot: I'M A DESPERATE 20-SOMETHING CLINGING TO THE BELIEF THAT TALENT IS GENETIC pants: MY GRANDFATHER USED TO DRAW JERKCITY
pants
spigot
#desperate-20-something
#woodring-stairs-background
601 5/19/2000 whole lotta love
spigot: I HIT MY BALL INTO THE BUTTERCUPS pants: WELL REACH RIGHT IN AND PULL IT OUT YOU SILLY GOOSE
pants
spigot
#pants-spigot
#woodring-room-background
602 5/20/2000 since i've been loving you
spigot: DEAR STEVE CASE!! I HAVE BEEN AN AOL MEMBER FOR THREE DAYS!!! BUT MY SOUTH PARK SOUNDS ARE BROKEN/DON'T PLAY spigot: STALKING THE DOG SHIT AND REALLY KEEPING AN EYE ON IT / FACE IN IT pants: MY LAVA LAMP TOLD ME TO SHOOT THE NEIGHBORS (AND TO SMOKE POT, SIT AROUND) deuce: BETTER DO THE ONE THING FIRST OR YOU'LL NEVER GET AROUND TO IT pants: THE UNIVERSE EXPLODED
deuce
pants
spigot
#aol
#deuce-pants-spigot
#woodring-room-background
603 5/21/2000 dazed and confused
spigot: BOSTON WAGES FIGHT AGAINST CANCER spigot: BOSTON 0 CANCER 80,000,000,000 spigot: MY UNDIAGNOSED UNCHECKED LUMPS!!!!!!!! TIME FOR YEARS OF PAINFUL CHEMO!!!!! HURRR OW MY HAIR THE DAILY SPINAL TAPS AND BLHLGUBHLBHLUG THROWING UP BLOOD BEFORE I FINALLY DECIDE TO GET OFF CHEMO AND DIE LIKE A FUCKING MAN pants: BLAM AND BRAINS AND DONE
pants
spigot
#mountain-background
604 5/22/2000 stairway to heaven
pants: I SPECIFICALLY CHECKED "COWBOY BONER", NOT A FUCKING XMAS BONER spigot: I CANNOT MAKE CHANGE
pants
spigot
#lime-background
605 5/23/2000 the land before time
deuce: HOW COME THOSE DINOSAURS HAVE MULTICOLORED HANDKERCHIEFS IN THEIR BACK POCKETS
deuce
#static-background
606 5/24/2000 back in time
atandt: SHALL WE GET STARTED caveman: UGH
atandt
caveman
#atandt-solo
#renaissance-man
#uncredited-character
#woodring-field-background
607 5/24/2000 concerns
spigot: CONCERNED ABOUT THE PORN deuce: DON'T WORRY HONEY deuce: EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT deuce: JUST STICK YOUR HEAD IN THERE spigot: DARK deuce: BE QUIET spigot: DAMP deuce: SHUT UP deuce: IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP THE PORN WILL NEVER COME
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#porn
#woodring-room-background
608 5/25/2000 a promotion
atandt: I WAS PROMOTED TO HEAD OF THE ADJUSTMENT COMMITTEE atandt: IF THE INMATE IS SENTENCED BY THE ADJUSTMENT COMMITTEE TO ISOLATION TIME, HE WILL BE PLACED IN A SEGREGATION UNIT TO AWAIT REVIEW atandt: THAT'S WHEN I SNEAK IN AND LICK THE DICK
atandt
#atandt-solo
#mountain-background
609 5/26/2000 a big red snapper
spigot: I WENT ON A FISHING TRIP WITH FIVE GUYS AND CAME BACK WITH A BIG RED SNAPPER spigot: IT SAYS SO NEXT TO MY REFERENCES, HOME PHONE pants: I'M A FUCK PUPPET
spigot
#pants-spigot
#woodring-field-background
610 5/27/2000 slobbering
deuce: I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD deuce: MAYBE I SHOULD STOP DRINKING SCHNAPPS AT LUNCH
deuce
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
611 5/28/2000 if i were
spigot: IF I WERE A VIDEO GAME I'D BE KLONKY DONG
spigot
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
612 5/29/2000 calling all queers
spigot: HANDS UP WHO'S A FUCKING QUEER pants: QUEER HERE spigot: OKAY PEOPLE IT'S 4:30 IN THE MORNING AND I'M STILL A COMPLETE FAGGOT spigot: THIS BETTER WEAR OFF
pants
spigot
#faggot
#pants-spigot
#queer
#woodring-field-background
613 5/30/2000 must make strip funny
atandt: NUTRIENT VALUE OF SEMEN INADEQUATE atandt: MUST SEEK ALTERNATIVE FOODSTUFFS
atandt
#atandt-solo
#mousehole
#not-funny
#semen
#woodring-room-background
614 5/31/2000 gross
pants: I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU pants: I FOUND A WAY pants: A WAY TO MAKE YOU SMILE
pants
#pants-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
615 6/1/2000 pants has a question
pants: PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY EVERYONE THINKS MY MOUTH IS A URINAL
pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#mouth-of-pants
#piss
#urinal
#urolagnia
#woodring-field-background
616 6/2/2000 constantly
.(spigot): DICKS .(pants): DICKS pants: ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING ?!?!?!?!? spigot: I CANNOT SAY spigot: THIS BONGHIT WILL MAKE ME FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: THREE spigot: TWO spigot: ONE spigot: WHO PUT A BOOT ON MY NUTS pants: FLAPJACKS AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS BREAKFAST / BREAKFAST-RELATED FOODS
pants
spigot
#bonghit
#dicks
#mousehole
#nuts-of-spigot
#pants-spigot
#thought
#woodring-room-background
617 6/3/2000 the rockford files
atandt: ROCKFORD FILES atandt: HOGANS HEROES atandt: BRADY BUNCH pants: SOON IT WILL BE THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT atandt: A STARBUCKS INSIDE JERKCITY ????????????? pants: THEN ALL THE DICKS NEED LITTLE SWEATERS
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#tv
#woodring-stairs-background
618 6/4/2000 my fag homework
spigot: KERN MY NUTS AND PUNCH ME IN THE FONT pants: T SPIGOT PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY FAG HOMEWORK pants: T SPIGOT WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POO AND CRAP spigot: POO INHERITS FROM CRAP deuce: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING THAT LANGUAGE spigot: I AM SO SORRY pants: T SPIGOT OKAY NEXT QUESTION WHAT DO I DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#fonts
#homework
#nuts-of-spigot
#poo
#watch-the-profanity
#woodring-room-background
619 6/5/2000 macaroni in my pants and socks
deuce: MARGARITAS IN THE DEUCE PEOPLE spigot: MACARONI IN MY PANTS AND SOCKS deuce: COOKED OR RAW SIR spigot: HLBUHLUHLUHLUGHBLLUGHB ZESTY PESTO HABBLE GABBLE FABBLE
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#the-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
620 6/6/2000 like i wouldn't know it's you at your most beautiful
atandt: AVRIL03.JPG YOU HAVE A BIG FAT ASS
atandt
#atandt-solo
#woodring-field-background
621 6/7/2000 honest abe
spigot: I MADE UP A GAY ABRAHAM LINCOLN JOKE BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S FUNNY YET spigot: *AHEM* deuce: ZZZ deuce: SNORT spigot: FOUR JERK AND SEVEN SPURTS AGO deuce: WHAT deuce: GRUMBLE GRUMBLE deuce: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ spigot: GAYBRAHAM LINCOLN deuce: IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR CRITICAL ACCLAIM SIR I SHOULD POINT OUT THAT YOUR CHECK BOUNCED spigot: GAYBRAHAM LINCOLN deuce: ZZZZZZ
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
622 6/8/2000 pants plays monopoly
pants: LET'S PLAY MONOPOLY pants: YOU GO FIRST pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
pants
#pants-solo
#woodring-field-background
623 6/9/2000 poetry and pottery
spigot: I EXPRESS MY ANGER THROUGH MY POTTERY spigot: AND POETRY spigot: AND COCKSUCKING spigot: HRLUB HLRUHBGLURHL BUHRLUB HLURHBLUR PRICKS ON THE WHEEL spigot: SPINNING AND WHAPPING MY MODEST LITTLE FACE spigot: HOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOO spigot: OKAY STINGING A LITTLE
spigot
#cocksucking
#mousehole
#poetry
#pottery
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
624 6/10/2000 life is beautiful
spigot: I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT A CONCENTRATION CAMP I CERTAINLY CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING BUT ALL THE DICKS PACKED CLOSELY TO MY FACE IN THIS TRAIN CAR
spigot
#mousehole
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
625 6/11/2000 smothered hope
deuce: GALGHAGHAGLBHGLUBHGLBUAHBUAHBHLGDBHDLHLUDBHBLGUBLBUGHB GHLGHBG deuce: NOTICE HOW IT TRANSFORMED SUBTLY spigot: I WILL LICK IT spigot: BUT I WILL NOT LIKE IT deuce: LIAR spigot: BLUGHGHGHLUGH I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#skinny-puppy
#woodring-room-background
626 6/12/2000 an innocent question
deuce: T PANTS WHAT DOES CUNNILINGUS MEAN pants: I THINK IT IS A DINOSAUR (IT MEANS "TERRIBLE LIZARD") deuce: HOLY CRAP
deuce
pants
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce-pants
#dinosaurs
#drunk-deuce
#oral-sex
#woodring-stairs-background
627 6/13/2000 how i spent mother's day
pants: BEATING OFF TO THE CRUMB SOUNDTRACK
pants
#beating-off
#pants-solo
#woodring-room-background
628 6/14/2000 profoundly mentally retarded
spigot: PROFOUNDLY spigot: MENTALLY spigot: RETARDED
spigot
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
629 6/15/2000 jerkcity pledge break 2
hanford: JERKCITY IS MADE POSSIBLE BY A GRANT FROM THE EXXON CORPORATION hanford: AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU hanford: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE pants: I BROKE A WINDOW
hanford
#bonequest-hi-fi
#hanford-pants
#woodring-field-background
630 6/16/2000 scouting locations
atandt: HMM atandt: WORKS FOR ME net: PANTS IS COMPLAINING ABOUT HIS CHAIR AGAIN net: EH, WE'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE atandt: BRIGHT IN HERE atandt: IT'S GOT THAT PURPLE VOLCANO THING GOING ON atandt: MAYBE WE COULD GET CURTAINS net: ON AND ON ABOUT THE CHAIR atandt: HE DOES THAT atandt: SO THE VOLCANO THING THEN net: PENCIL IT IN atandt: CHECK net: CHINESE FOR LUNCH
atandt
net
#atandt-net
#behind-the-scenes
#mountain-background
631 6/17/2000 my flyer
spigot: I HEAR PUMPY HURDY GURDY PIPE ORGANS FROM THE TOILET AREA spigot: DID ANYONE GET MY FLYER ABOUT MY FREE TAROT READINGS IN MY CUBE spigot: HUBLULGUBHLUHBLU spigot: PUBLISHING FICTION AND POLITICAL NON-FICTION HBUHLBULUHLBLU
spigot
#mousehole
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
632 6/18/2000 warming up
pants: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE pants: RRRRRRRRRRRR pants: WWWWWWWWWWWW pants: LLLLLLLLLLLL pants: ############# pants: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF pants: TLKGJFLDKJLKFJG pants: KEYBOARD WORKS
pants
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
633 6/19/2000 a glass of rape
spigot: I HATE IT WHEN THEY DON'T TAKE IT OUT RIGHT AWAY spigot: IT'S LIKE ENOUGH ALREADY spigot: BUT HE'S ALL "ACTUALLY I NEED TO FINISH" spigot: SO I JUST BEND THERE AND TAKE IT spigot: "HMM, I'LL BE DONE IN A MINUTE" spigot: WHILE I HAVE THAT DOPEY BORED LOOK ON MY FACE spigot: I'LL HAVE A CROISSANDWICH AND A GLASS OF RAPE
spigot
#woodring-field-background
634 6/20/2000 a two prick system
spigot: I'M AN ADULT GAY MALE SEEKING DISCREET SAFE J/O deuce: I DON'T SEE HOW J/O CAN BE SAFE IF YOU USE YOUR MOUTH AND ASS spigot: I HAVE A TWO-PRICK SYSTEM spigot: WHERE IF ONE SPURTS . . . spigot: I CAN CONTINUE SUCKING ON THE SPARE spigot: I JAM THEM AND POKE THEM INTO MY FACE spigot: SOMETIMES WITH SUCH FORCE I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME LIE DOWN FOR AWHILE deuce: I WOULD LIKE NOT TO DISCUSS THIS ANY FURTHER
deuce
spigot
#adult-gay-male
#deuce-spigot
#gay
#masturbation
#woodring-stairs-background
635 6/21/2000 rape cops part 1: the thin blue line
spigot: OKAY LADY spigot: STOP CRYING FOR TWO SECONDS spigot: LIMIT YOUR DESCRIPTION OF THE RAPE TO STEPS TO REPRODUCE spigot: DON'T TRY TO TECHNICALLY DIAGNOSE THE RAPE deuce: DID HE RAPE YOU LIKE THIS deuce: OR LIKE THIS spigot: BETTER LIKE THIS OR BETTER LIKE THIS spigot: HURTS MORE HERE OR HURTS MORE HERE : TO BE CONTINUED
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#police
#rape
#rape-cops
#series
#uncredited-character
#woodring-stairs-background
636 6/22/2000 rape cops part 2: to serve and protect
spigot: HEY YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO "REPORT" THE GUY spigot: WELL MAYBE WE'D GO LOOK FOR HIM spigot: IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A DUMB FAT GIRL spigot: "RAPED". WHATEVER. deuce: YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO COOPERATE IF YOU WANT US TO INVESTIGATE THIS MATTER deuce: NOW LIE DOWN AND CLOSE YOUR EYES, YOU DUMB CUNT spigot: NO YOU CAN'T TALK TO A WOMAN POLICEMAN WE FIRED THEM ALL OVER THE WEEKEND spigot: BECAUSE THEY KEPT FUCKING UP : TO BE CONTINUED
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#rape-cops
#uncredited-character
#woodring-stairs-background
637 6/23/2000 rape cops part 3: jerkcity's finest
deuce: YOU DON'T DOUCHE VERY REGULARLY, DO YOU spigot: NOW DID HE GIVE YOU THAT BRUISE THERE spigot: OR DID YOU JUST RUN INTO A DOOR spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP AND LET ME LOOK AT IT FOR GOD'S SAKE deuce: HERE'S $10 GO BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE spigot: YOU'RE FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS AND YOU HAVE A KEYCHAIN WITH A RAPE WHISTLE spigot: I'VE GOT HALF A MIND TO RAPE YOU ON PRINCIPLE deuce: I'M JIM BELUSHI IN THE PRINCIPAL deuce: LBAHALBHLABHLABHLABHLABHLAB spigot: PERHAPS YOU ENJOYED MY WORK IN K9 COP
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#rape
#rape-cops
#rape-whistle
#woodring-stairs-background
638 6/24/2000 and all the while he was thinking about dick (bless his little heart)
pants: THERE WAS THIS ONE DICK THAT JUST WOULDN'T STAY LICKED atandt: YOU DON'T SAY
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#woodring-field-background
639 6/25/2000 annie get your gun
deuce: THE SUN'LL COME OUT deuce: TOMORROW deuce: BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLHUBB HURRRF MUP DUP DANG
deuce
#deuce-solo
#woodring-field-background
640 6/26/2000 good thing we're not smoking the train wreck
pants: CHOOO CHOOOOOOO HUGALUGALUGAHUG CHOOOOOOOO HLAGHLUHLAUHGLUAHGLAG CHOOOO CHOOOOO
pants
#custom-background
#drugs
#train-wreck
#trainwreck
641 6/27/2000 atandt's home directory
spigot: T ATANDT WHY CAN'T I CD INTO ~ATANDT ??????? spigot: I'LL EMAIL YOU THE DEBUGGER LOG spigot: WHAT'S IN ~ATANDT/BOYS atandt: SHH spigot: WHAT'S ~ATANDT/GAY pants: YOU DIRTY DIRTY MEN atandt: (VERY DIRTY) spigot: HELP spigot: HELP WITH EXTRA \N
atandt
pants
spigot
#atandt-pants-spigot
#boys
#gay
#mountain-background
#unix
642 6/28/2000 a bright shiny angel
spigot: I'M A BRIGHT SHINY ANGEL OF GOD, SENT DOWN FROM HEAVEN TO LICK DICK IN THE TOILET !!!!!! spigot: GLORY BE
spigot
#custom-background
643 6/29/2000 gay at low, low prices
pants: I AM WILLING TO BE GAY AT LOW, LOW PRICES
pants
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#photo-background
644 6/29/2000 in england
spigot: YOU KNOW IN ENGLAND GAY PEOPLE HANG OUT IN THE "LAVATORY" spigot: AND COCKSUCKING IS CALLED "BANGERS AND MASH" spigot: ALSO DON'T ORDER A "PINT OF BITTER" spigot: I THINK WE'VE ALL MADE THAT MISTAKE spigot: HELLO spigot: OKAY I LIED I NEVER WENT TO ENGLAND spigot: UNLESS MERVYNS COUNTS spigot: I'LL BE QUIET
spigot
#be-quiet
#england
#mervyns
#woodring-stairs-background
645 6/30/2000 auto repair
atandt: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL FIX A BLOWN HEAD GASKET
atandt
#custom-background
646 7/1/2000 the miracle of modern medicine
deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT'S MOST AMAZING ABOUT CONJOINED TWINS ????????? THAT WE DON'T EXTERMINATE THEM ANYMORE FOR BEING CLEAR GENETIC ABERRATIONS deuce: THE MIRACLES OF MODERN MEDICINE PREVENT US FROM EXECUTING OUR MOST BASIC DRIVES: IT'S DIFFERENT SO I MUST KILL IT deuce: UM I MEAN COCKS
deuce
#white-background
647 7/2/2000 a complicated cry for help
pants: WE THE PEOPLE pants: IN ORDER TO FORM A MORE PERFECT UNION pants: ESTABLISH JUSTICE AND A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF pants: HI I'M PANTS, PERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN MY WORK HERE IN JERKCITY pants: OR UNDER THE OVERPASS SUCKING COCK LIKE A MAN ON A MISSION FROM GOD pants: WHAT pants: YES, THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT pants: MAYBE YOU COULD JUST DRAW A BIG BONG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WHOLE THING OR SOMETHING
pants
#bong
#marijuana
#meta
#pants-from-jerkcity
#pants-solo
#woodring-room-background
648 7/3/2000 is there a doctor in the house
pants: SAWDUST !!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED LOTS OF SAWDUST !!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: KITTY LITTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: TARPS AND BLANKETS AND TOWELS !!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: ANYTHING THAT SOAKS UP LOTS OF PISS FAST !!!!!!!!!!!! pants: PLEASE HURRY !!!!! deuce: SHUT THAT GUY UP
deuce
pants
649 7/4/2000 the poo button
pants: THIS IS RADIO FREE BONEQUEST hanford: ... pants: GUESS WHAT I FOUND TODAY pants: I FOUND THE POO BUTTON hanford: THE WHAT pants: ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU THE PATH TO WISDOM AND NIRVANA AND ALL THAT GAY STUFF :: PUSHES THE BUTTON. pants: I LIKE IT SO FAR hanford: UH pants: IT'S WARM AND SMOOSHY AND WHAT HAVE YOU hanford: UH pants: BUBUBUBUB PROBLEM hanford: HALP pants: SAVE ME hanford: OH FUCK YOU
hanford
pants
#custom-background
#poo
650 7/5/2000 an argument in progress
pants: JUST LET ME SUCK YOUR COCK deuce: NO pants: SIR deuce: I JUST WANT TO KISS pants: GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH YOU BEING A MAN AND ALL
deuce
pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#heterosexual
#low-res
#woodring-stairs-background
651 7/6/2000 ladies' wheel of fortune
spigot: FOLKS IT'S TIME FOR LADIES' WHEEL OF FORTUNE uncredited lady: I'D LIKE TO BUY A SOFA spigot: BANKRUPT spigot: A MARK GOODSON/BILL TODDMAN PRODCU$H#U(HJNBGKAS
spigot
#spigot-solo
#uncredited-character
#wheel-of-fortune
#woodring-room-background
652 7/7/2000 the dick cache god
deuce: COULD SOMEONE PLEASE POINT ME TO THE NEAREST CACHE OF DICKS pants: DEAR DICK CACHE GOD, pants: PLEASE GIVE UNCLE DEUCE WHAT HE NEEDS pants: WHAT pants: WELL SOMETIMES HE SAYS HE'S MY UNCLE pants: SERIOUSLY THOUGH HOOK UP MY FRIEND HERE pants: LOVE, PANTS pants: NOW WE WAIT
deuce
pants
#pink-background
653 7/8/2000 our feminine dykey selves
deuce: T SPIGOT WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER AND LISTEN TO K.D. LANG AND ME'SHELL NDEGE'OCELLO AND INDIGO GIRLS AND GET IN TOUCH WITH OUR FEMININE DYKEY SELVES spigot: T DEUCE [DIAL TONE]
deuce
spigot
#music
#music-criticism
#telephone
#telephony
#woodring-stairs-background
654 7/9/2000 S.O.S.
spigot: HI???????? spigot: IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE PASS THE DONGS spigot: COURTESY IS CONTAGIOUS GANG
spigot
#gunmetal-background
655 7/10/2000 spring cleaning
atandt: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL UNTANGLE THESE EXTENSION CORDS
atandt
#bonghit
656 7/11/2000 an open letter to soccer moms
pants: THIS IS AN OPEN LETTER TO FAT SOCCER MOMS pants: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE EXPRESSION pants: "SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT" pants: TRY TO STOP BLOCKING PROGRESS AND SIT DOWN ON THE CURB FOR A WHILE pants: I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR OFFSPRING TO STEAL MY WALLET
pants
#woodring-stairs-background
657 7/11/2000 yin and yank
pants: YAY FOR MY BALLS pants: WHAT THE HELL MAN spigot: YOU MIGHT SAY IT'S THE YIN AND THE YANG OF SUCKING pants: YANG LOOKS LIKE YANK pants: T SPIGOT I NEED FOUR QUARTERS FOR THE LATEST ISSUE spigot: T PANTS I'LL BE JOHN TESH AND YOU BE MARY HART pants: CUE ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT THEME spigot: HUHHHH
pants
spigot
#mountain-background
#you-might-say
658 7/12/2000 slow children at play
deuce: WHAT ARE YOU WEARING pants: A DRESS deuce: FUCK YES
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
659 7/13/2000 untitled no. 3
spigot: TODAY'S JERKCITY GETS AN "F"
deuce
pants
spigot
#meta
#untitled
#woodring-stairs-background
660 7/14/2000 technical difficulties
pants: I'M PANTS deuce: I'M DEUCE deuce: ! pants: ? : PUNCHLINE OMITTED : per niaj flugantaj a&#365;tobusoj, vi atingos iun ajn parton de la mondo
deuce
pants
#a-love-story
#deuce-pants
#esperanto
#hand-drawn
#sfw
661 7/15/2000 damn straight
deuce: AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE NO EXTERNAL GENITALIA TO SPEAK OF deuce: HOW DO I KEEP PANTS INTERESTED, YOU ASK? deuce: THREE WORDS: PEANUTS, POPCORN, PRESENTS : malamika akiri&#285;o
deuce
#a-love-story
#deuce-solo
#esperanto
#hand-drawn
#peanuts-popcorn-presents
#woodring-stairs-background
662 7/16/2000 whistling in the darkness
pants: I AM HITTING YOU OVER THE HEAD AND TAKING YOUR LOAF, YOUR JUG OF WINE deuce: WHAT ABOUT THOU : THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS ..... BE GOOD TO OTHER PEOPLE !!!!!! *THANX* : preme sentema
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
663 7/17/2000 janine
deuce: JANINE LINDEMAGLAGIHGL SHE SHOULD BE SHOT FOR MAKING ME TRY TO PRONOUNCE IT spigot: JANINE USELESS AND OVER THE HILL 5 YEARS AGO, STILL AROUND TO SALVAGE HER CAREER AND HER SHOP-WORN FACE deuce: RIGHT THAT'S HER LAST NAME : neniam sen mia permeso
deuce
spigot
#custom-background
664 7/18/2000 too preachy
spigot: IS IT JUST ME OR ARE THE SPICE GIRLS GETTING TOO PREACHY deuce: YOU TELL 'EM BROTHA : KACO ESTAS BONA
deuce
spigot
#custom-background
665 7/19/2000 directed acyclic graphs
: D->I->C->K->S : <---- - + ----> : S<-K<-C<-O<-C deuce: CONCENTRATE ON MY VOICE ... SOON YOU WILL BE GAY : ESPERANTO ESTAS POR GEJULOJ
deuce
jesus
#esperanto
#gunmetal-background
666 7/20/2000 a look inside
: UNITED COLORS OF GAY first virus: HELLO - I AM THE AIDS VIRUS. PLEASE GET US OUT OF HERE THIS GUY IS TOO *GAY* second virus: YEAH WHAT HE SAID HUGALUGALUGH COCKS : &#285;i estas finfina
deuce
#mountain-background
667 7/21/2000 love story
pants: WILL YOU WATCH NOTTING HILL WITH ME AND HOLD ME WHEN I CRY ??? deuce: I WILL BEAT YOU ABOUT THE HEAD UNTIL YOU THINK YOU'RE COACH FROM CHEERS pants: OW OW BUT HE'S DEAD OW OW OW OKAY LYING STILL
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
668 7/22/2000 the dreaded links page
spigot: OKAY WHAT THESE ARE IS A LIST OF SICK/TWISTED LINKS AND MANY ARE WEIRD!!!! spigot: I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CONTENTS!!! spigot: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!! BEWARE!!!! spigot: ABANDON ALL HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER THE DREADED L-I-N-K-S P-A-G-E!!!!!! spigot: THE ONION <-- NEWS BUT WITH A TWIST!!! spigot: USER FRIENDLY <-- THE ONLY GOOD SITE IN CYBERSPACE spigot: SLASHDOT <-- NEWS FOR NERDS!!!!!!! spigot: RED MEAT <-- DEMENTED!!!! THE GUY SHOULD BE LOCKED UP!!!! spigot: BLAM BLAM BLAM WITH THE GUN AND WHACK HACK WITH THE KNIFE spigot: YOUR DEAD FUCKING HEAD DOWN THE TOILET
spigot
#minecraft-background
669 7/23/2000 bonghits for fags
atandt: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL FIX THESE ... UHH atandt: UHH -- WHO WROTE THIS CRAP pants: I'VE GOT A GAG WE COULD USE INSTEAD ABOUT SUCKING OFF AQUAMAN (UNDERWATER)
atandt
pants
#aquaman
#atandt-pants
#bonghit
#for-fags-series
#mousehole
#sucking-off
#woodring-room-background
670 7/24/2000 a stunning revelation
deuce: SUING YOU FOR BREACH OF DICKSUCKING (EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE BEEN SUCKING MY DICK AT 9 AM EVERY DAY RIGHT ON SCHEDULE) pants: 9 AM ?????????????? THAT CAN'T POSSIBLE BE ME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOLE deuce: WRONG BECAUSE I HAVE DNA AND FINGERPRINTS AND A SWORN AFFIDAVIT TO PROVE IT pants: BUT I AM SLEEPING AT 9AM pants: OH GOD I SUCK DICK IN MY SLEEP deuce: GLAGHALGH
deuce
pants
#custom-background
671 7/25/2000 disclosure
spigot: I'M FAT FOR TEACHER
spigot
#gunmetal-background
672 7/26/2000 at home with the homos
net: DEEP THROATING A MAGLITE HERE pants: DOES THIS COCK RING MAKE ME LOOK FAT deuce: WUHHHHHHH deuce: I AM INJECTING CLEANING FLUID INTO MY VEINS BECAUSE I WISH TO DETECT NEUTRINOS net: IF I GOT REALLY REALLY FAT WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME net: I MEAN FATTER THAN NOW deuce: WUHHHHHHHH
deuce
net
pants
#stalldoor-background
673 7/27/2000 also for fat: 0-9
spigot: I CAN'T REALLY SAY WHY I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND BUT LET'S LOOK AT THE SITUATION ALPHABETICALLY spigot: A IS FOR FAT, B IS FOR FAT, C IS FOR FAT spigot: FLIPPING THROUGH THESE CARDS IT APPEARS D THROUGH Z IS ALSO FOR FAT pants: I'M BIG-BONED LIKE JUDY BLUME'S BLUBBER OR WHATEVER !!! SOB
pants
spigot
#custom-background
674 7/28/2000 the chicago manual of poo
deuce: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM pants: ARE YOU MILKING ME??? I AM NOT OF THE BOVINE VARIETY!!! I WANT A LAWYER
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
675 7/29/2000 courtroom scene
spigot: HURMPH GURF AT THIS TIME I WOULD LIKE TO NOMINATE LESS COCKS OW OW pants: MOTION DENIED pants: YOUR WITNESS spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO CALL MY MOUTH AND BALLS TO THE STAND
pants
spigot
#woodring-field-background
676 7/30/2000 FIGHT CRUB
spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO BE GAY NOT ONLY IN THE PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE TENSES BUT ALSO THE PLUPERFECT SUBJUNCTIVE TENSE deuce: SO IN OTHER WORDS YOU ARE GAY spigot: YOU TRICKED ME spigot: GRIDDLE MARKS / TILE MARKS deuce: SHOVING
deuce
spigot
#fight-club
#gay
#grammar
#i-would-like-to-be-gay
#shoving
#tile
#woodring-stairs-background
677 7/31/2000 i was a teenage dominatrix
spigot: I WAS A TEENAGE DOMINATRIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: NO YOU WERE AN OVERWEIGHT TEENAGE WICCAN ENTHUSIAST WITH A DEAD CAN DANCE CD AND EQUALLY INSIPID PEERS WHO GAVE YOUR TITS THE TIME OF DAY IN EXCHANGE FOR RIDES TO THE COFFEE SHOP spigot: INHERIT THE MOON
spigot
#woodring-room-background
678 8/1/2000 motley queers
deuce: SO THE CURRENT SCORES ARE: deuce: JERK 1, POO 1 net: I'VE GOT MONEY ON JERK pants: I TOO WILL PLACE MY LIFE SAVINGS ON JERK pants: CAN I GET ODDS ON POO? deuce: YOU ARE BOTH WISE INVESTORS pants: C'MON POO net: I'VE GOT INSIDER INFORMATION
deuce
net
pants
#deuce-net-pants
#gambling
#investment
#mountain-background
#poo
679 8/2/2000 jesus christ our lord and savior, etc.
spigot: FOLKS WE'LL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER FUCKING FIGURE OUT WHAT SPACE AND THE UNIVERSE IS FOR SO LET'S LINE UP FOR BURGERS AND PORN AND DOPE AND BLOWJOBS!!!!!!! deuce: IN THAT ORDER??/ spigot: YOU'LL NOTICE CHRIST NEVER APPEARS IN THE ASTRONOMY PICTURE OF THE DAY spigot: MAYBE YOU CAN ONLY SEE JESUS BY DRINKING OR ROBBING A CHECK CASHING STORE
deuce
pants
spigot
#woodring-field-background
680 8/3/2000 this one's for the kids
spigot: TO THE TUNE OF THAT VANILLA ICE SONG: DOON DOON DOON DOODLE OON DOON / LICKING / DICK / IN THE CRAPPER
spigot
#woodring-room-background
681 8/4/2000 pecker me up
deuce: A QUANTITY THAT HAS BOTH A MAGNITUDE AND A DIRECTION IS CALLED A PECKER pants: THEN PECKER ME UP AND WE'LL FLY INTO THE HORIZON
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
682 8/5/2000 a simple plan
spigot: WHAT WE WANT IS YOUR FACE FULL OF SPURT AND TWO PRICKS ON EITHER SIDE OF YOUR FACE spigot: BIG SMILES spigot: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
spigot
#gay-background
683 8/6/2000 T SPIGOT I HAD A DREAM
deuce: T SPIGOT I HAD A DREAM AND JORDAN MCKNIGHT WAS IN IT spigot: DID HE AND THE TASMANIAN DEVIL SELL YOU A NIKE PHONE CARD !?!?!?!?!?! spigot: I CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PORN STARS AND SPORTS PEOPLE spigot: DIALING 10 10 HEROIN OVERDOSE
deuce
spigot
#minecraft-background
684 8/7/2000 dear idiots
spigot: DEAR IDIOTS!!!!! BY TAKING AWAY THE PORN ON PAPER YOU FORCE THE FREAKS TO GRAB KIDS OFF THE STREET !!!!!! spigot: I MEAN DEAR GENIUSES
spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
685 8/8/2000 to your nuts
atandt: TO: YOUR NUTS atandt: CC: MY FACE atandt: HI deuce: FROM: MOM atandt: BCC: PANTS
atandt
deuce
#mountain-background
686 8/9/2000 baloney
spigot: FOLKS CAN WE PLEASE NEVER SPELL IT "BOLOGNA" spigot: IT'S BALONEY
spigot
#folks
#food
#sfw
#spelling
#spigot-shrug
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
687 8/10/2000 boner wars
deuce: LET'S PLAY BONER WARS pants: OKAY deuce: ZWWWWIP ZWWWWWAP WE'RE LIGHT SABRES pants: MINE IS JUST FLOPPY AND NOT MAKING COOL NOISES deuce: DUDE deuce: THAT IS JUST SO SAD pants: I SUSPECT I AM ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE FORCE
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
688 8/11/2000 in the end we all grow old
deuce: BUSTA RHYMES NEEDS TO DRINK LESS COFFEE OR SOMETHING
deuce
#white-background
689 8/12/2000 it just has to be daily
atandt: SO THEN HE SAYS "DUH IT'S NOT FUNNY" atandt: AND I'M ALL "WHO SAYS A COMIC STRIP HAS TO BE FUNNY" atandt: SO THEN HE STARTS WHINING atandt: I HAD TO SLAP HIS FAT FAG FACE AND ESCORT HIM OUT atandt: AND THE OTHER ONE WOULDN'T FUCKING SHUT UP atandt: SO I HAD TO ESCORT HER OUT TOO atandt: ANYWAY THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED BACK ON THE LOT atandt: HELLO?????? atandt: ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME atandt: OH RIGHT HE SLEEPS LIKE THAT pants: ZZZ atandt: WHATEVER
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#meta
#not-funny
#pants-sleeping
#woodring-stairs-background
690 8/13/2000 chapter four
pants: COCKS pants: COCKS, COCKS pants: COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS atandt: FUCKING SHUT UP pants: MY LAST CHECK BOUNCED
atandt
pants
#woodring-field-background
691 8/14/2000 drink pepsi
spigot: HICKORY DICKERY DICKS spigot: I'M STUFFING MY FACE WITH PRICKS spigot: DRINK PEPSI
spigot
#pepsi
#pricks
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
692 8/15/2000 enforcing the rules
pants: NO CAMPING !!!!! (YELLING AT THE BONER PATCH)
pants
#woodring-stairs-background
693 8/16/2000 feet
deuce: WHO HAS THESE DISGUSTING FOOT FETISHES AND WHY ARE THEY SUBJECTING ME TO IT IN THE WRONG NEWSGROUPS spigot: IF I WANTED TO LOOK AT POLAROIDS OF SOME STUPID WOMAN'S FOOT I COULD PROBABLY JUST TAKE THEM MYSELF pants: IF YOU HAVE A MOUSTACHE, YOU HAVE A FOOT FETISH pants: THAT'S THE LAW
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#foot-fetish
#usenet
#woodring-stairs-background
694 8/17/2000 under there
deuce: IF I COULD JERK OFF TO ONE THING I'D JERK OFF TO YOU YOU AND YOU deuce: AND YOU UNDER THERE pants: THERE'S NOBODY UNDER HERE spigot: I'M BEHIND THIS CURTAIN spigot: (FLAPPING AT IT) pants: I WOULD COME OUT FOR HEAD COUNT BUT I AM STUCK UNDER THE SINK pants: IT IS COLD AND DAMP pants: SOMEBODY LEFT THE CAP OFF THE 409
deuce
pants
spigot
#birthday-strip
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#flapping
#jerking-off
#pants-under-the-sink
#woodring-stairs-background
695 8/18/2000 join the tired cocksucker webring
spigot: I CALL IT PHOTOSLOP!!!!!!! AND ADOBE MASTURBATOR!!!!! AND MACROMEDIA CRASH!!!!!! AHHAHAAH DOES ANYONE GET MY JOKES?!?!?!? JOIN THE TIRED COCKSUCKER WEBRING
spigot
#mountain-background
696 8/19/2000 sunday school
pants: LORDY GOD pants: LORDY GOD IN HEAVEN CAN YOU HEAR ME pants: LISTEN UP LORDY GOD AND LISTEN GOOD pants: COS YOU GOTTA LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO pants: FIRST WHY DID YOU SPREAD ALL THE UNLICKED DICKS ACROSS CONTINENTS pants: SECOND DO YOU VALIDATE PARKING pants: HELLO deuce: PUNCH MY TICKET
deuce
pants
#blue-background
697 8/20/2000 must i wear the mozilla shirt
deuce: SELF IMMOLATION spigot: IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO BURN TO DEATH IN PUBLIC I MUST ALSO WEAR THE MOZILLA SHIRT
deuce
spigot
#mountain-background
698 8/21/2000 an outtake
deuce: HOT STUFF COMIN' THROUGH pants: SOUP ??? OR JUST DICKS hanford: CUT hanford: THE LINE IS "DICKS ?????? OR JUST SOUP AGAIN"
deuce
hanford
pants
#woodring-field-background
699 8/22/2000 sucking off the cast of user friendly
pants: PEOPLE OF THE EARTH pants: I AM GOING TO SUCK THE COCKS OF THE CAST OF "USER FRIENDLY" pants: I'VE NEVER READ THE FUCKING THING FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS pants: SO I CAN'T REFERENCE THE CHARACTERS INDIVIDUALLY pants: THE THING PRETTY MUCH MADE ME SICK SO I GAVE UP pants: WHY DON'T YOU JUST FUCKING DRAW BLOOM COUNTY pants: GIVE IT UP AND PACK IT IN pants: ANYWAY SUCKING ALL YOUR COCKS AT ONCE BAGHALUGHALG
pants
#gunmetal-background
#webcomic
700 8/23/2000 pbs
spigot: THE DAY THE UNIVERSE WENT OFF THE AIR BECAUSE NOBODY PLEDGED $300 FOR A FUCKING TOTE BAG?!?!? spigot: IS OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING NOT ENOUGH!?!?!?!? spigot: RE: PANTS DEUCE AND SPIGOT GIVING IT THEIR ALL EVERY MIDNIGHT
spigot
701 8/24/2000 lost
atandt: JESUS deuce: LHGHLGAHLGHL atandt: I WAS LOST THERE FOR A SECOND atandt: THEN I SMELLED THAT DISTINCT SMELL OF JUST LICKED DICK deuce: LIKE SINGED HAIR
atandt
deuce
#custom-background
702 8/25/2000 saturdays
deuce: SATURDAYS ARE FOR JERKING deuce: ALSO CLAMPING, HAMMERING AND SQUEEZING deuce: CARRY ON
deuce
#custom-background
703 8/26/2000 t, l or c
spigot: IF THERE WERE NO BLACK MEN THERE WOULD BE NO BLACK SPERM TO MAKE MORE BLACK BABY GIRLS TO GROW UP INTO BLACK PORN STARS AND THAT'S WHY RACISM IS BAD AND HITLER IS COOL deuce: I WAS WITH YOU UNTIL THE HITLER PART ??? spigot: C TO THE | TO THE N TO THE E TO THE T deuce: ARE YOU EITHER T L OR C spigot: LET'S TAKE GENERIC PLATITUDES AND MAKE THEM OUR CORPORATE TAGLINE !!! BIGOTS ARE BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOUNTAIN DEW deuce: I THINK THE ANSWER TO MY QUESTION IS YES
deuce
spigot
#brand
#cnet
#deuce-likes-black-chicks
#deuce-spigot
#hitler
#mountain-dew
#plant
#sperm
#tlc
#woodring-field-background
704 8/27/2000 urk
spigot: CAN'T spigot: BREATHE spigot: CAN'T spigot: SEE spigot: MUST spigot: GET spigot: AWAY spigot: MUST spigot: BE spigot: VERY spigot: QUEER
spigot
#mountain-background
705 8/28/2000 cocksucking on the moon
spigot: HERE WE ARE !!! I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T JUST ANOTHER TRICK TO GET YOU INTO THE TOILET pants: (SNIFF) IT'S BEAUTIFUL pants: NOW THAT WE'RE HERE WHAT SHOULD WE DO spigot: LAHGULHAULGAG deuce: BLAUGLHAHGLBAG pants: AHGULAGUL
deuce
pants
spigot
#moon
#woodring-stairs-background
706 8/29/2000 big fat mozilla release
spigot: SURPRISE !!!!!! THE BIG FAT MOZILLA RELEASE IS THE LAMEST, SLOWEST, MUST UN-APPEALING, NON-INTUITIVE 27.5 MEG DOWNLOAD EVER !!!!! spigot: WHO IN GOD'S NAME ARE THEY TRYING TO FOOL spigot: DID YOU FOLKS GET A CHANCE TO GLANCE AT HOW INTERNET EXPLORER HANDLES THINGS ?!?!?
spigot
#mountain-background
707 8/30/2000 come with me
spigot: 1010101101001010101010 spigot: COME WITH ME ON A TRANCELADELIC EXCURSIONAL ODYSSEY OF ELECTRONICA!!!!!! spigot: BEEP spigot: DOOP spigot: HURRR deuce: I'M MENSTRUATING
deuce
spigot
#mountain-background
708 8/31/2000 fat around the fat around
deuce: HOLD ME pants: YOU ARE TOO FAT AROUND THE FAT AROUND AND WE ARE STUCK pants: ENDLESSLY ORBITING EACH OTHER IN SPACE pants: A WORDLESS GROPE ENSUES deuce: IT IS LIKE 2001 IN THAT IT IS A VERY VERY SLOW SCENE BUT IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE (THE GROPING)
deuce
pants
#woodring-room-background
709 9/1/2000 four score and
spigot: FIVE MORE HOLE ALBUMS?!?!!?!? GREAT!!!!!! spigot: DEAR SIR IN CHARGE!!!!!! IT ONLY MAKES SENSE TO EXTRACT ALBUMS FROM PEOPLE WHO CAN DELIVER A RETURN ON THE INVESTMENT!!!!! LOVE, ABRAHAM LINCOLN deuce: IS THERE ANYTHING HE DOESN'T KNOW spigot: FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN ........ BREWS AGO!!!! [GUITAR MUSIC, GIRLS]
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#hole
#mousehole
#music
#music-criticism
#woodring-room-background
710 9/2/2000 great white north
pants: AWWWWWWWW YEAH atandt: OH YOU NASTY BOY atandt: CHRIST I'M HARD UP FOR HARDONS pants: WELL THEN pants: WE SHOULD COME HERE MORE OFTEN atandt: YOU KNOW I'M ALLERGIC TO BATONS
atandt
pants
#atandt-pants
#boners
#white-background
711 9/3/2000 legoland
net: WHAT???!?!? net: THE LEGO COMPANY DOES NOT ENDORSE THE LEGO HOLOCAUST ARTWORK net: SENDING BACK MY LEGOTOWN GAS CHAMBER / SKELETONS KIT
net
pants
#mountain-background
712 9/4/2000 short but thick
atandt: SPICK DICK: SHORT BUT THICK
atandt
#woodring-room-background
713 9/5/2000 praying for you
spigot: T DEUCE I'M PRAYING FOR YOU deuce: T SPIGOT PUCKER UP BABY spigot: DON'T KNOCK MY FAITH WHEN YOU COULD SIMPLY KNOCK ME DOWN MARBLE STEPS
deuce
spigot
#mountain-background
714 9/6/2000 second prettiest
deuce: OH YEAH deuce: I'LL BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN PRESCHOOL deuce: WAIT deuce: SECOND PRETTIEST
deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
715 9/7/2000 space cowboys
atandt: YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTY HOT IN THAT JUMPSUIT atandt: <SFX: RAPE> deuce: GHLGLHGULHGULHGULHGULHG atandt: I'D LIKE TO REQUEST THAT WE NO LONGER BOLDLY GO TO THE CABIN atandt: WHERE I AM RAPED FOR SCIENTIFIC PURPOSES deuce: THIS IS NOT HOW MANKIND WILL CONQUER SPACE deuce: GLHGLHAGLHLHABHLBHAB OW OW OW OW deuce: YOU SHOULD SHIT/PISS YOURSELF IF YOU ARE IN DANGER OF BEING RAPED atandt: ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW HARD IT IS TO SAY NO TO SPACE COWBOYS atandt: I CAN SAVE MYSELF BY SOILING MYSELF AND HERE I GO deuce: SIR WITH THE RAPE UTENSIL
atandt
deuce
#mountain-background
#sir-with-the
716 9/8/2000 what abuse
pants: LAXATIVE ABUSE
pants
#woodring-field-background
717 9/9/2000 brad pitt as deuce
spigot: YOU MIGHT SAY ALL THIS SARIN GAS IS MAKING ME VIETNUMB deuce: BANG THUMP THUMP pants: AND THEN THEY ALL LICKED DICK IN A MERRY PATCH OF CLOVER THE END !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: SO WHAT DO YOU THINK CAN WE GET BRAD PITT AS "DEUCE"
deuce
pants
spigot
#mountain-background
#you-might-say
718 9/10/2000 CS101
deuce: COCKSUCKING 101 deuce: FIRST: STROKE THE DICK deuce: TELL THE DICK YOU LOVE IT deuce: SECOND: KISS THE DICK deuce: DO IT LIGHTLY LIKE YOU'RE KISSING SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME deuce: FUCKING SUCK IT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SUCKED BEFORE deuce: IF YOU PASS OUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT deuce: YOU'LL COME TO EVENTUALLY bung: THIS IS A VERY STRANGE DOJO
bung
deuce
#bung-deuce
#cocksucking
#dojo
#woodring-den-background
719 9/11/2000 the balls ate my balls page
spigot: I'M BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BALLS ATE MY BALLS PAGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
spigot
#balls
#olive-background
#spigot-solo
720 9/12/2000 the effects of drinking soap
pants: I'M SO SORRY pants: FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED pants: IT IS MY FAULT BECAUSE IT WAS MY PROJECT pants: AND IT'S BECAUSE OF ME THAT WE'RE HERE NOW pants: HUNGRY COLD AND HUNTED pants: I'M SO SCARED pants: I'M GOING TO DIE OUT HERE pants: HUALGALHLAHULAHLAG
pants
#mountain-background
721 9/13/2000 the elusive jizz bug
atandt: A JIZZ BUG IS A VERY MESSY THING deuce: LIKE A DUNG BEETLE BUT MORE DISGUSTING atandt: RIGHT atandt: MORE JIZZY deuce: RIGHT deuce: SO YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH JIZZ BUGS THEN atandt: VERY deuce: VERY WELL deuce: CARRY ON deuce: GLHBALHAGHLAGLHGALHG
atandt
deuce
#mountain-background
722 9/14/2000 live in central park
spigot: BORN TO LICK (DICK) spigot: BORN TO SUCK (PRICK) spigot: BORN TO CHOKE (TAKE A GUESS!!!!!!!) spigot: DICKS OR PRICKS
spigot
#mountain-background
723 9/15/2000 not again
pants: MISTER BLUEBIRD / ON MY SHOULDER pants: RAPING HIM pants: I'M GOING TO LICK THESE STONE COLD DICKS pants: POO INSPECTION (HOLD STILL) pants: POO, A BOWL OF pants: T DEUCE MY CANNIBALS HAVE EATEN YOUR MISSIONARIES pants: DIT DIT DIT DOT DOT DOT DIT DIT DIT pants: SAVE OUR SNAUSAGES deuce: NOT AGAIN
deuce
pants
#woodring-field-background
724 9/16/2000 really big ones, folks
pants: I AM THE LAST OF pants: THE FAMOUS pants: INTERNATIONAL PLAYBOYS
pants
#mountain-background
725 9/17/2000 poo vote
atandt: POO pants: POO atandt: I'M GLAD WE SETTLED THAT pants: SO IT'S OFFICIAL THEN atandt: YES, POO pants: POO deuce: I DEMAND A RECOUNT pants: YOU LITTLE WEASEL deuce: I WOULD HAVE VOTED PISS MYSELF pants: HERE'S THE REAL DEAL: THE VOTING BOOTHS ARE CLOSED BUT THE STALLS ARE OPEN deuce: TOOT TOOT
atandt
deuce
pants
#pink-background
726 9/18/2000 blab room
spigot: MY $0.02!!!! IN THE BLAB ROOM!!!! WHERE I'M SOUNDING OFF AND TALKING BACK AND SPEAKING OUT LIKE A FAT FUCKING AMERICAN IDIOT!!!! IT'S MY RIGHT TO EXPRESS MYSELF!!!! HURRRRRR HOT URINE AND BROKEN GLASS
spigot
#grey-background
727 9/19/2000 jerkcity strike: day 1
hanford: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM TO REPORT hanford: AS OF THE OTHER DAY, THE CAST OF JERKCITY IS ON STRIKE hanford: WE HAVE MANAGED TO ARRANGE ALTERNATE ENTERTAINMENT hanford: I HOPE YOU ALL DON'T MIND A GARDENING SERIES IN PLACE OF THE USUAL hanford: GIVEN THE BUDGET CONSTRAINTS, IT WAS THE BEST WE COULD DO ON SHORT NOTICE hanford: WE WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED ON THE STRIKE hanford: IN THE MEANTIME, PLEASE ENJOY "UNTITLED GARDENING PROJECT"
hanford
#mountain-background
728 9/20/2000 untitled gardening project no. 1
: I masturbate just about daily. Sometimes twice if something sets me off. Like an Entertainment Tonight segment on supermodels or the mailman. You have to be willing to go down that path and find your inner masturbator and convince him to get into the zone and go for the gold. If not the gold then perhaps a handful of semen.
#gardening
729 9/21/2000 untitled gardening project no. 2
: Sometimes, when I go on business trips or vacations, I don't get a chance to masturbate. When you stomp around a strange city all day and come back to an impersonal hotel room, it's hard to get it on. Here's a tip: pack something soft to spurt into. Leave it in the room after you check out.
#gardening
730 9/22/2000 jerkcity strike: day 4
hanford: IT ONLY SEEMS FAIR THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE TO LEARN YOUR LINES pants: I CANNOT AFFORD THE DILLY-DALLY pants: ARE YOU THE MAN WITH THE FOUR WAY HIPS atandt: SERIOUSLY LOOK HOW WIDE MY MOUTH IS hanford: IS IT FAIR TO SAY THAT NEGOTIATIONS ARE STALLED pants: I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT atandt: SOME KIND OF QUEER GERBIL WITH A FEZ AND LEDERHOSEN hanford: APBNEWS.COM OR LIVING.COM MIGHT BUY US pants: I WANT TO SUCK YOUR COCK atandt: I CALL THIS MY FIGHTING IRISH POSE pants: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU atandt: I'M NOT ON STRIKE pants: SCAB
#mountain-background
731 9/23/2000 untitled gardening project no. 3
: Did I mention I was molested? I'm pretty sure I did, once or twice, but you did not offer to discuss the matter with me. Let's have a nice quiet dinner and have a frank discussion about my dad's dong and how he put it in my mouth and ass now and then. Anyway, I'm clearly the victim here and that's why I don't suck dick. I hope you understand.
#gardening
732 9/24/2000 strike: day 6
pants: PISSCHRIST EH
pants
#woodring-room-background
733 9/25/2000 untitled gardening project no. 4
: Now I don't want to get into the specifics but semen has an oyster-like consistancy and stings when it dribbles off my stupid face and into my eyes. Holy Christ, it stings.
#gardening
734 9/26/2000 untitled gardening project no. 5
: One time I was masturbating outside a bar in Capitola. A police officer shined his light into the alley and found me with my pants down. I explained that I was taking a leak. For my troubles, the officer gave me a lecture about how I could be charged with a sex crime, how I'd have to register as a sex offender in every county. Thank goodness he let me off with a warning.
#gardening
735 9/27/2000 jerkcity strike: day 9
atandt: CHOOSY MOTHERS CHOOSE JPG atandt: THOSE BASTARDS BURNED DOWN THE SET DURING LAST NIGHT'S FOOD RIOTS atandt: SOYLENT GREEN IS DELICIOUS pants: SCAB !!!!!!!!
#woodring-field-background
736 9/28/2000 untitled gardening project no. 6
: You can meet the most interesting people masturbating in the bathrooms of malls and department stores. Go to your town's Emporium during your lunch hour and hang out. If you're not particular, there's always Arby's.
#gardening
737 9/29/2000 untitled gardening project no. 7
: For the most part, you can determine how many times you have masturbated. Pick a year the battle began and an average number of sessions per day. Consider this: when all the numbers are multiplied out, you can then determine how much semen you've generated. Enough to drown a toddler? Hmm?
#gardening
738 9/30/2000 untitled gardening project no. 8
: Eventually, if you bang your head long enough, the wooden puppet transmogrifies into a real boy and then you have trouble with the feds. Until then, it's a shell of a thing, a thing without a soul. There is no water inside me, just a little dirt and a silverfish.
#gardening
#untitled-gardening-project
739 10/1/2000 comedy stylings of atandt
atandt: RUGS NOT DRUGS atandt: CAN YOU PREFIX THINGS WITH [OFFTOPIC] THANKS atandt: LET LOVE OPEN THE DOOR
atandt
#gunmetal-background
740 10/2/2000 atandt's theme
atandt: I NEED TO SPEAK TO THE DUNGEONMASTER HERE atandt: WHICH BALDWIN AM I atandt: I WILL NOW SHOW YOU MY MAYPOLE pants: APPARENTLY I CANNOT CHARGE MALE ESCORTS TO MY LIBRARY CARD
atandt
#dungeons-and-dragons
#library
#mountain-background
741 10/3/2000 in all his glory
atandt: HAVE YOU ALL NOTHING BETTER TO DO atandt: WHERE IS MY FORTIFIED WINE atandt: WHEN IS THE COCKSUCKING CONTEST AGAIN pants: THURSDAY AT 4, 7, 9 AND TWO SHOWS AT 12 AND 12:30
atandt
#atandt-pants
#blue-background
#cocksucking
#disappearance-of-rands
#fortified-wine
#gay-contest
#silent-character
#uncensored
#uncredited-character
742 10/4/2000 strike over!
hanford: UNLICKED DICKS ON THE SET atandt: [B[B[B pants: AM I LATE ??? WHAT DID I MISS???
atandt
hanford
pants
#custom-background
743 10/5/2000 the weigel factor
spigot: THE TRICK TO BEATING OFF TO SYLVIA SAINT IS TO KEEP THE SOUND DOWN!!!!!! spigot: RE: THE UNINTELLIGIBLE EUROPEAN ACCENT AND OF COURSE THE WEIGEL FACTOR deuce: YOU MEAN THE YELLING AND SCREAMING THAT IS MORE DISTRACTING AND DISTURBING THAN EROTIC ????????? deuce: ALSO THOSE STUPID CONE TITS THAT SHOULD HAVE FUCKING STAYED IN PLAYBOY spigot: I DON'T KNOW WHAT EROTIC MEANS BUT I CAN'T BEAT OFF IF I HAVE TO KEEP ADJUSTING THE VOLUME
deuce
spigot
#pink-background
744 10/6/2000 budapest
atandt: WHEN I GOT TO BUDAPEST THERE WAS A BONEQUEST TACKED TO THE WALL
atandt
#woodring-room-background
745 10/7/2000 the best thing about marijuana
pants: TO ME, THE BEST THING ABOUT MARIJUANA IS THAT EVERYTHING IS JUST "GOOD ENOUGH" pants: THERE WE GO AND IT'S OUT THE DOOR AND I'M BACK ON THE COUCH WITH THE BONG WHERE I BELONG
pants
#custom-background
746 10/8/2000 dongling
spigot: I AM DONGLING IT spigot: AND MAKING A MENTAL NOTE TO BONGLE IT pants: ROUGH CLOSETED SEX deuce: OKAY NOT ALL THAT CLOSETED pants: AND LESS ROUGH THAN ONE MIGHT EXPECT pants: BANG BANG BANG BANG OW OW OW OW pants: I'M BILL KURTIS deuce: HOLDING YOU VERY FIRMLY, STILL pants: KNOWING THE CREME PIE FIGHT IS ABOUT TO START
deuce
pants
spigot
#gunmetal-background
747 10/9/2000 poll
deuce: HANDS UP WHO HERE HAS TASTED THEIR OWN JIZZ deuce: GUZZLING OTHER PEOPLES' JIZZ DOESN'T COUNT
deuce
pants
#angry-panel
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#jizz
#woodring-room-background
748 10/10/2000 tsing-tao
spigot: I AM OPENING A LARGE-SIZE TSING-TAO deuce: PLEASE GO EASY ON IT (IT WILL ONLY GET ANGRY) spigot: THEIR SLOGAN SHOULD BE A CHINAMAN W/STRAW HAT: spigot: TSING TAO ?!?!?!? AND HAO !!!!!!!!
deuce
spigot
#beer
#chinese-food
#custom-background
749 10/11/2000 somebody stole his headlamp
deuce: SOMEONE STOLE MY HEAD LAMP pants: THAT IS AWFUL pants: NO MAN SHOULD HAVE TO GO WITHOUT A HEAD LAMP
deuce
pants
#custom-background
750 10/12/2000 the rules of dick
spigot: BOY HAVE I LEARNED THE RULES OF DICK spigot: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
spigot
#custom-background
751 10/13/2000 i, spy
pants: I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE pants: NOTHING pants: THANKS TO YOUR SHARP SITCK
deuce
pants
#eye-injury
#mountain-background
752 10/14/2000 n.a.n-a
spigot: SORRY FOR THE SPAM, BUT: spigot: COCKS spigot: COCKS spigot: COCKS spigot: COCKS spigot: COCKS spigot: COCKS deuce: I'M POSTING TO NEWS.ADMIN.NET-ABUSE.MISC ABOUT THIS
deuce
spigot
#woodring-field-background
753 10/15/2000 jesus h. christ
pants: I HAVE A COMPLAINT atandt: FOR THE LOVE OF pants: I WANT A NEW CHAIR atandt: WHAT THE pants: CAN WE JUST BE GAY THEN atandt: HOW IN THE HELL
atandt
pants
#custom-background
754 10/16/2000 general announcement
spigot: WHO ATE THREE CARTONS OF PEANUT BUTTER ICE CREAM AND TOOK A DUMP ON MY BEDSPREAD
spigot
#mountain-background
755 10/17/2000 the complete idiot's guide to licking dick
atandt: I GOT NOTHING
atandt
#mountain-background
756 10/18/2000 all discs shuffle
deuce: TROLLY pants: DUCKS AND DICKS pants: NOT THE SAME
deuce
pants
#woodring-den-background
757 10/19/2000 alt dot fan dot dean dash stark
deuce: I WONDER WHY THE ALT.FAN.DEAN-STARK HIERARCHY ALREADY HAS OVER SEVENTY NEWSGROUPS IN IT pants: THAT'S ODD
deuce
pants
#usenet
758 10/20/2000 unidentified subject
hanford: LISTEN UP FOLKS hanford: WILL THE PERSON WHO PISSED UP MY WIFE AND KIDS PLEASE TAKE ONE STEP FORWARD hanford: I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
hanford
#drunk-deuce
#hanford-deuce-pants-spigot
#laughing-deuce
#many-characters
#mountain-background
#piss
#the-gangs-all-here
#whores
759 10/21/2000 the cockmobile
pants: THE COCKMOBILE WILL COME TO MY TOWN SOME DAY spigot: DON'T DO IT IT'S A TRAP pants: THEN I CAN SUCK DICKS FROM FARAWAY LANDS spigot: RUN pants: AND LOCAL COCKS THAT I KNOW AND LOVE spigot: HUBLUBHLBUHLBULHBLHB WHY DIDN'T I STAY IN SCHOOL
pants
spigot
#mountain-background
760 10/22/2000 dance hall days
spigot: WINGDINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (REST) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
spigot
#custom-background
761 10/23/2000 feedback for the sysop
spigot: WHAT ABOUT BEING STONED AGAIN pants: WHO spigot: NEVER MIND pants: WHAT
pants
spigot
#custom-background
762 10/24/2000 hands up
spigot: HANDS UP WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A HORROR E-ZINE AFTER WORK EVERY NIGHT pants: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT A TIME-TRAVELLING MUMMY deuce: I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT STORY ORIGINALLY APPEARED IN AMAZING FANTASY #15 pants: NOOOOOO
deuce
pants
spigot
#amazing-fantasy
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#mummy
#time-travel
#viscera
#woodring-field-background
#zine
763 10/25/2000 annual report 2000
pants: BUILDING ELABORATE LEGO MINDSTORM PROJECTS AND EATING THEM
pants
#mountain-background
764 10/26/2000 keep out of reach of children
deuce: eDICKS spigot: vPRICKS pants: iSTALLS deuce: DONGLETS pants: INHALANTS spigot: THE DOT COMS deuce: GHGHLUGHLGHLG spigot: AHLUGLAGHULAHULAHG pants: HULAHGLUHGAULHUALHALG
deuce
pants
spigot
765 10/27/2000 on holiday
atandt: HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY atandt: DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH AT A DISABLED VETERAN atandt: THEY KILLED INNOCENT CHILDREN FOR YOU deuce: THAT'S COOL spigot: DID YOU LOSE YOUR LEGS SUCKING COCK IN A BATH HOUSE
atandt
deuce
spigot
#atandt
#atandt-deuce-spigot
#bathhouse
#cock
#cocksucking
#deuce
#holiday
#memorial-day
#mountain-background
#spigot
766 10/28/2000 queer scouts
pants: HOMOSEXUAL SEX, REALLY NOT ENJOYING THIS TOO MUCH pants: HOMOSEXUAL SEX, PRISON pants: HOMOSEXUAL SEX, STRETCHMARKS AROUD THE MOUTH AREA pants: OH HI pants: I'M JUST FLIPPING THROUGH THE INDEX OF MY QUEER HANDBOOK pants: HOLY GOD pants: I CAN GET A MERIT BADGE FOR SIMPLY BEING JIZZED UP pants: TRYING TO CHEER YOU AND THE AUDIENCE UP
pants
#apricot-background
767 10/29/2000 really big ones
spigot: I'M A DEFECTIVE O-RING
spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
768 10/30/2000 retarded faggot
pants: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M GOING TO SUCK IT pants: NEVER FORGET WHO YOU ARE pants: LITTLE STAR pants: I DEFINITELY WOULD pants: SO ANYWAY pants: I FIGURE I CAN GET UNEMPLOYMENT OR SOMETHING pants: CAN YOU HEAR THE LITTLE ANGELS pants: DON'T TRY TO FOOL ME INTO NOT SUCKING IT !!! DISTRACTING ME WILL ONLY FAIL HULAHGLUAG
pants
#pants-solo
#sucking
769 10/31/2000 skip and dance
deuce: LOVE ME TENDER pants: HOLD STILL THEN spigot: MAY I PLAY pants: SKIP AND DANCE WITH US spigot: PRANCING AS FAST AS I CAN
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
770 11/1/2000 spigot's boutique
spigot: THERE'S NOTHING PERVERTED OR GAY ABOUT ME WANTING TO OPEN A BOUTIQUE deuce: UNNNNNGH spigot: IT'S A COCK BOUTIQUE WITH LITTLE BOWS AND RIBBONS BUT IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK spigot: LITTLE HATS AND COSTUMES FOR THE PUPPET SHOW I PUT ON EVERY MORNING spigot: MMM HURBLE BURBLE LOOK AT ME ON MY WAY TO SCHOOL spigot: I SURE AM GAY spigot: TIME FOR COCKS spigot: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM BAM BAM BAM THIS IS NO DREAM
deuce
spigot
#black-background
#deuce-spigot
771 11/2/2000 a stopped clock
pants: EVEN A STOPPED CLOCK GIVES HEAD TWICE A DAY pants: WHY CAN'T YOU deuce: DICKS
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
772 11/3/2000 the closet
spigot: HELP ME TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ABOUT MY FAT QUEERNESS deuce: I CAN'T deuce: I'M STUCK IN THE CLOSET PRETTY SOLIDLY MYSELF deuce: HEY I HAVE A GREAT IDEA deuce: MAYBE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER OUT OF THE CLOSET deuce: TOGETHER spigot: I'D LIKE TO MAKE OUR ENGAGEMENT PUBLIC AT THE END OUR TOILET SEX deuce: WELL I'M KIND OF NEW AT THIS BUT OKEE DOKE
deuce
spigot
#gunmetal-background
773 11/4/2000 three o'clock high
pants: T ATANDT IF I GO TO THE THREE O'CLOCK MEETING AND SIT THERE AND PUT MY NUTS AND WANG ON THE TABLE, PLEASE PROMISE THAT YOU WILL NOT TAKE THE BLACKJACK AND START BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF MY EXTREMITIES atandt: T PANTS TOO LATE
atandt
pants
#mountain-background
774 11/5/2000 yom kippur
deuce: WHAT'S FUNNIEST ABOUT JEWS IS THAT YOU WIND THEM AND THEY RUN FROM HITLER deuce: THEY'LL ALSO RUN FROM A HOT POKER IF YOU CHASE THEM WITH IT pants: YOU DON'T SAY deuce: IN FACT POKER IS WHERE THE WORD "KIPPUR" OF "YOM KIPPUR" CAME FROM deuce: WHERE "YOM KIPPUR" LITERALLY MEANS "HOT MOPS" pants: TELL ME MORE ABOUT ANCIENT LANDS
deuce
pants
#urinal-background
775 11/6/2000 burning man
pants: HELLO ??? AM I LATE FOR BURNING MAN ??? IT IS COLD pants: THEY PROMISED FOUR AND TWENTY BLACKBIRDS pants: THIS IS MORE LIKE FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY BLACK DICKS ALL AT ONCE (WITHOUT REMORSE OR AN OUNCE OF POLITENESS I MIGHT ADD)
pants
#black-background
776 11/7/2000 a mystery
atandt: A TRAIL OF CORN atandt: HMM THE PROVERBIAL MYSTERY OH TO FOLLOW THE PATH LESS -- pants: I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR COCK UNTIL YOU'RE BLUE IN THE FACE AND I'M NOT HUNGRY ANYMORE
atandt
pants
#mountain-background
777 11/8/2000 off on a jag
pants: CRAMCHEESE pants: NOT AS VIOLENT AS IT COULD BE pants: WHICH LENDS ITSELF TO THE GOOD BOOK pants: I HAVE SEEN MANY AN UNLICKED DICK IN MY LIFETIME pants: COLD pants: HUNGRY DICKS pants: WE MUST NOT LET THIS HAPPEN IN OUR AMERICA pants: I'LL TAKE UNLICKED DICKS OVER BURNING DOWN THE MALL THANKS pants: I'LL TAKE UNLICKED DICKS FOR $200 pants: I'LL TAKE UNLICKED DICKS UNDER MY WING AND SHOW THEM THE WAY OF THE WORLD pants: WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT A SCRIPT NOW
pants
#grey-background
778 11/9/2000 look what i can do
pants: LOOK WHAT I CAN DO WITHOUT ANY ASSISTANCE FROM THE AUDIENCE pants: HALUGHU LAHGLU HAULGHALUGHULAGHALUGHALUGH LAUGHLAUGH LUAGLAG pants: ALUKG HALGH LAUG LUAHGLU HGALU HAGL HLAUG HLAGHL AHGLU HALGH AAG OKAY I NEED SOME HELP HERE HUAGHALGU HALUKG LUAGH LUAG PERHAPS A LADDER OR A BUCKET HALUGHALGHLU
pants
#woodring-stairs-background
779 11/10/2000 java security
pants: GRANTING PRIVILEGES TO UNTRUSTED CLASSES ??? atandt: IMPLEMENTING MY OWN SIGNING FACILITY ??? pants: DEPLOYING REAL-WORLD SOFTWARE ON THE INTERNET ???????/ atandt: CARTOONS ABOUT COCKSUCKING AND DICKLICKING ???? pants: NOW YOU'RE TALKING THERE CHIEF atandt: I LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE IN A COMA (A VERY GAY COMA INDEED)
atandt
pants
#custom-background
780 11/11/2000 make me choke in record time
pants: ANY KIND OF DICK WILL DO BUT I PREFER TO CHOMP AND CHEW ON THE NORTHERN AMERICAN VARIETY FOR VARIOUS REASONS / CONDITIONS pants: SERIOUSLY IF YOU COULD JUST FORM A LINE TO THE LEFT OF THE URINALS I'LL GET TO BUSINESS pants: I AM WILLING TO SIGN ANYTHING YOU PUT IN FRONT OF ME JUST MAKE ME CHOKE IN RECORD TIME
pants
#custom-background
781 11/12/2000 for sale, $1 or best offer
hanford: YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU READ TOO MANY EPISODES IN A ROW, YOU'LL GET A HEADACHE pants: CAN WE PLEASE JUST LICK DICK
hanford
pants
#mountain-background
782 11/13/2000 deuce has a new home
deuce: CHRISTNUTS, NEW ZEALAND
deuce
#urinal-background
783 11/14/2000 fucking powermac faggot computer
pants: WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T THE LIVING ROOM MACHINE WORK deuce: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM pants: YOU FUCKING POWERMAC FAGGOT COMPUTER deuce: SHUT THE FUCK UP IN THERE pants: I KISS YOU deuce: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM pants: HOLY GOD YOU ARE POUNDING ME TO POWDER deuce: WHAM WHAM WHAM deuce: AND THERE IT GOES (PERFECT DAVID ATTENBOROUGH VOICE) pants: HOLY
deuce
pants
#black-background
784 11/15/2000 jerkbone
spigot: T PANTS IT TURNS OUT "NADS" IS SHORT FOR "GONADS" WHICH IS SLANG FOR BALLS spigot: ANYWAY I GOT KICKED THERE pants: YOU CAN STILL PAY RENT THROUGH RIGHT pants: A KNOCK TO THE NUTS (E.G. TESTICLES) SHOULDN'T PREVENT YOU FROM WRITING CHECKS spigot: ACTUALLY THE BONE THAT CONNECTS MY NUTS TO MY WRIST IS SPRAINED spigot: THAT'S MY JERKBONE spigot: POSSIBLY MY JIZZBONE, I'M NOT A DOCTOR
pants
spigot
#custom-background
785 11/16/2000 like an unclamped hose
spigot: WE ALSO SUGGEST GUTTERMOUTHS II, SODOMANIA SLOPSHOTS 4-6 AND FILTHY FIRST TIMERS deuce: SPRAYING AND SQUIRTING LIKE AN UNCLAMPED HOSE
deuce
spigot
#brown-background
786 11/17/2000 lolly gagging
atandt: I ASKED YOU TO WAIT THIRTY MINUTES BEFORE LICKING ANOTHER DICK pants: NO CARS DELIVERED WITHOUT THIS CHECK atandt: YOU'RE GOING TO GET A HORRIBLE PAIN IN THE BELLY pants: ALLOW TWENTY MINUTES FOR CAR RETRIEVAL atandt: IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER I'D SWEAR YOU UNLICKED THEM ON PURPOSE pants: THIS CONTRACT LIMITS OUR LIABILITY! READ IT!
atandt
pants
#woodring-field-background
787 11/18/2000 the look of dick
spigot: MEL TORME IS SINGING ABOUT HOW WE SHOULD BE MORE THAN FRIENDS??????? deuce: GO FOR IT I SAY pants: I AM GOING TO SAVE MY VOTE FOR COFFEE, CAKE SNACKS, ZINGERS spigot: THE LOOK / OF DICK spigot: LITTLE OR NOTHING TO DO WITH BROWSERS AND NEARLY EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD TO DO WITH TROUSERS
deuce
pants
spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
788 11/19/2000 positive comedy feedback
spigot: BY PLACING HANDFULS OF M&M'S INTO A CUP I CAN PRACTICALLY DRINK THEM spigot: GIVE ME SOME POSITIVE FEEDBACK ABOUT MY COMEDY I'M NOT UP HERE FOR MY HEALTH PEOPLE
spigot
#mountain-background
789 11/20/2000 pricky
deuce: HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME LICKY PRICKY pants: HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE ME CHINAMAN STYLE (OPIUM, PEEING IN MY COKE, RICE, RAILROADS, LAUNDRY) deuce: I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS "CHINAMAN STYLE" !!!! WE WILL START AT 2:30 pants: EXCELLENT deuce: PENCIL ME IN FOR -- deuce: HEY WAIT A MINUTE IS THIS GOING TO END UP ON JERKCITY pants: FIRST I TAKE IT UP THE ASS, THEN YOU CRAM IT HARD pants: AND WE SELL THE VIDEO FOR $79.99 deuce: RIGHT (IN SOME ORDER) deuce: WITH WALNUTS pants: UNCANNY, THAT
deuce
pants
#mountain-background
790 11/21/2000 people do
net: CAN DICKS BE LICKED PEOPLE pants: PEOPLE DO net: T PANTS SHALL WE DIAGRAM THE SENTENCE pants: T NET READY AND WILLING pants: I HAVE MY DANCING SHOES ON pants: WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS net: THE SUBJECT IS DICKS AND THE VERB IS "CAN" pants: EXCELLENT deuce: ASSIBLE pants: QUITE RIGHT net: THEREFORE net: "PEOPLE DO" IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE pants: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH
deuce
net
pants
#grey-background
791 11/22/2000 sad
spigot: T PANTS SAD THAT THE DOPE YOU GAVE ME WAS AN I.O.U. AND A BOTTLECAP
spigot
#pac-man
#woodring-den-background
792 11/23/2000 that green stuff
pants: HOW DO YOU SPELL GUACAMOLE deuce: I THINK YOU GOT IT deuce: ARE YOU WRITING A SHOPPING LIST ?!?!? OR ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TIPS ON GIVING HEAD SOUTH OF THE BORDER pants: ACCORDING TO WEBSTERS IT IS GUACAMOLE deuce: T PANTS WHO CARES ABOUT THE SPICK WORDS (EVEN THE ONES YOU EAT) pants: T DEUCE TRUE BUT SINCE I SUCK SPICK DICK FROM TIME TO TIME I MIGHT AS WELL LEARN THE LANGUAGE !! COCKSUCKAMOS ?????????????? (WE ALL YOU GET THE IDEA)
deuce
pants
#conjugation
#deuce-pants
#guacamole
#spanish
#spick-dick
#woodring-stairs-background
793 11/24/2000 sweepstakes winner
pants: I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO DISCUSS MY WEB SOAP OPERA pants: WHO WON THE RAPE ME SWEEPSTAKES deuce: THINGS DIDN'T WORK OUT QUITE RIGHT spigot: I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR
deuce
pants
spigot
#nirvana
#star-wars
#tv
#woodring-room-background
794 11/25/2000 where did pants go
atandt: HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT SUCKING OFF THE ENTIRE CAST OF USER FRIENDLY AND RAN OFF THE LOT
atandt
#yellow-background
795 11/26/2000 pardon our dust
atandt: FOLKS WE'RE DOING SOME REMODELING atandt: I HAVE ISSUES WITH MY FATNESS, MY GAYNESS, MY LOCH NESS MONSTER
atandt
#mountain-background
796 11/27/2000 note from the depths
atandt: THE NOTE FOUND IN THE POCKET OF A RUSSIAN SEAMAN atandt: WODKA deuce: HALP atandt: PLEASE TO TELL LENIN THAT IT IS FUCKING COLD deuce: I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING GET PAID FOR THIS (GLUG)
atandt
deuce
#white-background
797 11/28/2000 holy mary mother of god
pants: HAIL MARY FULL OF GRACE THE LORD IS WITH THEE BLESSED ARE THOU
deuce
pants
#gunmetal-background
798 11/28/2000 be gay with me
pants: BE FAT WITH ME deuce: I DO NOT THINK THAT IS AN ACTIVITY WE CAN SHARE ??? deuce: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP deuce: WRONG AGAIN
hanford
pants
#mountain-background
799 11/29/2000 censorship
deuce: ZZZ deuce: SNORK deuce: )(*ASGY(*OUSDGS(*&TNR IUE(*&BIGBSGHGD (&$HBOHGOSD uncredited woman: A(&DG&IBS *STFG (ISFYN()SHDF)SD) USFSUY)FSDFPIHWO#RBL#T : CENSORED
deuce
#trailer-background
800 11/30/2000 deuce and atandt show
atandt: I'M COURIER deuce: I'M LUCIDA SANS TYPEWRITER deuce: I'M KICKING YOUR FUCKING SERIF ASS deuce: IT'S THE DEUCE AND ATANDT SHOW atandt: T DEUCE YOU ARE VERDANA (AND VERY READABLE) deuce: T ATANDT YOU'RE RIGHT deuce: LET'S NEVER FIGHT AGAIN deuce: AVENIR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ANGRY atandt: T DEUCE ALTHOUGH YOU SECRETLY WANT TO BE IMPACT deuce: T ATANDT BUT THAT WOULD MEAN I COULDN'T TYPE IN LOWERCASE deuce: T ATANDT OH POINT TAKEN atandt: I'M A RESUMABLE DOWNLOAD NOW
atandt
deuce
#mountain-background
801 12/1/2000 dick for me (part 1 of 2)
pants: WOW, DICK FOR ME pants: THANKS GUYS : Later that afternoon ... pants: YOU ARE REALLY GANGING UP ON ME IN HERE deuce: SHUT
deuce
pants
spigot
#mountain-background
802 12/2/2000 dick for me (part 2 of 2)
deuce: SHUT pants: AUUUGH YOU PULLED THE FOOTBALL AWAY spigot: YOU SAY SHUT BUT YOU REALLY MEAN OPEN WIDE spigot: PLEASE CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION TO "ASIAN TITS" pants: FACE FACE FACE FACE FACE FACE NUTS deuce: DUCK DUCK DEUCE spigot: SUCKING OFF THE CAST OF USER FRIENDLY, EH pants: THEY STOOD STILL THIS TIME
deuce
pants
spigot
#custom-background
803 12/3/2000 fine-grained sandpaper
pants: HURTS TO WIPE !!! pants: ARE YOU SURE I SHOULD BE USING BRILLO PADS ??? WRITE BACK deuce: YOU SHOULD BE USING FINE-GRAIN SANDPAPER pants: (SPUTTERING) BUT THE FAQ SAID deuce: DON'T TRUST THE INTERNET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deuce
pants
#yellow-background
804 12/4/2000 jesus loves me
deuce: JESUS LOVES ME deuce: THIS I KNOW deuce: FOR THE LHULHLHULHLUHLUHULHLHULHULUHULULHULHULHULHULHULHULHULHU deuce: HULHULHULHULLHU EPILEPSY deuce: I AM CURSED FROM HEAVEN deuce: STONE ME deuce: STONE ME I SAY deuce: BONK HONK deuce: HELLO IS THIS THING ON deuce: ACADEMY FUCKING AWARD MATERIAL GOING ON HERE PEOPLE deuce: MOM
deuce
#custom-background
805 12/5/2000 jewel
pants: JEWEL WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO WILL SAVE MY SOUL (HELP ME OUT HERE) spigot: WHO WILL FILL HER FACE WITH SPURT I THINK IS WHAT SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT pants: NOW THAT YOU MENTION I THINK THAT IS WHAT SHE'S TELLING ME AFTER ALL pants: EXCUSE ME pants: (STARTS TO MASTURBATE) spigot: I WILL WAIT IN THE CAR pants: UNGH UFF UHHH pants: THAT WOULD BE BEST (CONTINUES) spigot: MAY I PLEASE HAVE THE KEYS (KFOG, LIVE 105)
pants
spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
806 12/6/2000 like a sunflower
spigot: I AM LIKE THE SUNFLOWER, HIDING WITH MY KNEES BUNCHED UP IN THE TOILET TRYING TO LOOK THROUGH THE PARTITION AT OTHER PEOPLE'S PISSING DICKS spigot: OKAY MAYBE LESS LIKE A SUNFLOWER
spigot
#mars-background
807 12/7/2000 mean while
pants: MEANWHILE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: BACK AT THE DICKLICKING FARM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: FREE RANGE COCKSUCKERS ?????????????????? pants: I'M GOING TO PUT A STOP TO THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL pants: EXCUSE ME SIR I DEMAND TO SEE THE FARMER pants: OH GOD I'M UPSIDE DOWN AND UNDERWATER AGAIN pants: WAIT I'M REALLY AT THE LOCAL KRISPY KREME AND THIS IS ALL A DREAM pants: WAIT NO I REALLY AM UNDERWATER BLBBLBLBLLB
pants
#woodring-room-background
808 12/8/2000 spigot, concerned
spigot: HAVE I SMOKED SO MUCH DOPE THAT I ONLY *THINK* I'M ENTERING JOKES
spigot
#eggshell-background
809 12/9/2000 a terrible blow
pants: I AM TRYING TO DRAW A BONG BUT IT JUST LOOKS LIKE A BONER !!! GIF AFTER GIF OF BONER AFTER BONER !!! AM I GAY ??? WRITE BACK deuce: NO BONGS OR HITS JUST BONERS pants: A TERRIBLE BLOW FOR FREEDOM OF GAY ON THIS HERE NETWORK deuce: I FAVOR MUTANT REGISTRATION
deuce
pants
#brown-background
810 12/13/2000 weebles wobble
pants: WEEBLES WOBBLE BUT THEY DON'T SUCK DICK
pants
#grey-background
811 12/14/2000 unix is for tribbles
spigot: SILLY RABBIT ...... >>>UNIX<<< IS FOR >>>>TRIBBLES<<<< spigot: GAK THE HOOD BEING PULLED DOWN OVER MY HEAD AND GLK THE STRINGS
spigot
812 12/15/2000 fairness in florida
spigot: GORE CALLS FOR FAIRNESS IN FLORIDA spigot: I THINK THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING IN FLORIDA MISTER EIGHT YEARS OF TAKING A BACK SEAT TO CLINTON'S COCK FOLLOWED BY LOSING TO COUNTRY BUMPKIN
spigot
#custom-background
813 12/16/2000 technical difficulties
pants: WE WILL RETURN TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING SHORTLY pants: ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO STATE THAT I DID NOT PUNCH THE PROSTITUTE I WAS ONLY HELPING HER DOWN OFF THE STAGE : To: Staff : From: Editor : Subject: What's going on down there : : Are we off the air again? : GODDAMNIT : YOU USELESS FUCKWADS
pants
#woodring-stairs-background
814 12/17/2000 are you the crow?
spigot: EXCUSE ME SIR spigot: SIR deuce: YES spigot: ARE YOU THE CROW? deuce: MAYBE spigot: BECAUSE YOU'RE PISSING ON MY BRIEFCASE
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#spigot-points
#the-crow
815 12/18/2000 flapper girls don't have dicks
pants: SUFFERAGE !!! NOTHING LIKE ROUGHAGE AS IT TURNS OUT pants: THE NEW REPUBLIC HAS FAILED ME AND YET I STAND HERE pants: GREAT THE WAR IS OVER NOW LET'S GO TO A PLAY : Originally published April 3, 1922
pants
#corndog-background
816 12/19/2000 rape in progress
punky punk: I SURE DO LOVE GIVING HEAD TO THE CAST OF JERKCITY ON A REGULAR BASIS pants: WE SURE LOVE HAVING YOU HERE spigot: GIVING US HEAD deuce: MAKE IT ROUGH punky punk: OH MY STARS AND GARTERS spigot: IN YOU NOW pants: RAPE IN PROGRESS pants: I AM GOING TO SMACK YOUR HEAD HARD ON THE TILE IF YOU DON'T WATCH THE TEETH punky punk: MY NEW NAME IS PUNKY PUNK
deuce
pants
spigot
#head
#oral-sex
#penny-arcade
#rape
#woodring-stairs-background
817 12/20/2000 bongathon in progress
atandt: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED BONGATHON ALREADY IN PROGRESS
atandt
#white-background
818 12/21/2000 dicklicking in the 21st century
pants: TURN ON YOUR HEARTLIGHT pants: LET IT SHINE WHEREVER YOU GO pants: LET IT MAKE A HAPPY GLOW AND FOR GOD'S SAKE LET ME LICK YOUR DICK (CHORUS)
pants
#dicklicking
#neil-diamond
#pants-solo
#singing
#woodring-room-background
819 12/22/2000 the penny arcade incident
pants: MY FELLOW AMERICANS pants: I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE PENNY ANTE INCIDENT pants: WE ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO FILM IN NEW JERSEY pants: APPARENTLY WE GIVE ITALIAN-AMERICANS A BAD NAME pants: REMEMBER THE TIME MY FACE GOT STUCK LIKE THIS pants: LET US LEARN FROM THE FUTURE SO WE CAN LOOK BACK AND URINATE ON THE PAST pants: WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED YOU ASK pants: IT'S WHAT pants: OH PENNY ARCADE pants: THEY ALL LOOK LIKE FUCKING BLOOM COUNTY TO ME pants: NONSENSICAL SYLLABLES AND PREPOSTEROUS GAY ACTS
pants
#bloom-county
#new-jersey
#pants-solo
#penny-arcade
#webcomic
#woodring-room-background
820 12/23/2000 make
pants: COULD YOU PLEASE TYPE "MAKE" IN THE QUEUE DIRECTORY OR SHOULD I JUST SUCK COCK FOR UNDER TEN MINUTES
pants
#minecraft-background
821 12/24/2000 bedlam
pants: CAN'T WAIT FOR THE QUEER XMAS JOKES TO START atandt: T PANTS LET US WORK ON OUR THANKSGIVING COMEDY BITS spigot: I'VE GOT SOME SERIOUS GAGS LINED UP FOR NEW YEAR'S (CHAMPAGNE CORKS AND WHAT NOT) pants: MY MOUTH SHE IS FOR DICKS spigot: HOW ABOUT YOU BE THE )(B*$:)( *EG AND I BE THE F)(*DV:#JDFLS atandt: MOOOOOOOOO atandt: SERIOUSLY WORRIED ABOUT THE QUALITY OF DICK pants: TELL ME MORE AS I AM INTRIGUED AND AROUSED spigot: )(B*$:)( *EG
atandt
pants
spigot
#mountain-background
822 12/25/2000 season's greetings fuckheads
pants: SEASON'S GREETINGS FUCKHEADS : Sally -- : Ran out of time this afternoon, please publish the standard-issue Jerkcity Holidays crapfest. : Thanks doll! : --Editor : : Not a creature was stirring. They were all in shock from the unstoppable series of blowjobs, one after another.
everybody
#woodring-den-background
823 12/26/2000 hello ??
atandt: HELLO ?? YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER atandt: HELLO ?? PLEASE HOLD FOR THE CASTING DIRECTOR atandt: HELLO ?? YES THIS IS JERKCITY atandt: WHY YES OUR REFRIGERATOR IS RUNNING atandt: WHAT atandt: GRR atandt: HELLO ?? I'M SORRY HE'S OUT OF THE OFFICE RIGHT NOW atandt: I'LL TELL HIM YOU CALLED THANKS atandt: HELLO ?? LET ME TRANSFER YOU TO THE COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT atandt: PLEASE HOLD pants: WHY ARE YOU ANSWERING PHONES atandt: WE'RE SHORT OF HELP THIS SEASON AND-- pants: I DON'T REALLY CARE YOU KNOW
atandt
pants
#mountain-background
824 12/27/2000 just in case
deuce: I'D BETTER JERK OFF FOR GOOD MEASURE dick: JUST IN CASE dick: JUST TO BE SURE deuce: RIGHT dick: BECAUSE WHAT IF dick: UHHH FINISHED deuce: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME
deuce
dick
#white-background
825 12/28/2000 mars needs dick
deuce: EARTH TO PANTS deuce: EARTH TO PANTS COME IN PANTS deuce: ARE YOU ON THE RED PLANET YET OVER pants: I AM DEPLOYING MY SOLAR SAILS CURRENTLY deuce: EARTH TO PANTS SOLAR STORM COMING YOUR WAY ETA 5 MINUTES pants: I AM STUFFING MYSELF IN THE LOO CURRENTLY deuce: OVER pants: OVER
deuce
pants
#yellow-background
826 12/29/2000 neil diamond or bust
atandt: YOU DON'T BRING ME FLOWERS atandt: YOU DON'T SING ME LOVE SONGS spigot: FOREVER IN BLUE JEANS atandt: CRACKLIN' ROSIE spigot: AMERICA atandt: SONG SUNG BLUE spigot: UH spigot: HELLO AGAIN atandt: GIRL, YOU'LL BE A WOMAN SOON spigot: SWEET CAROLINE atandt: KENTUCKY WOMAN spigot: UH spigot: UH CRAP atandt: YOU HAVE FAILED spigot: I KNOW atandt: BE GAY WITH ME
atandt
spigot
#atandt
#atandt-spigot
#be-gay-with-me
#spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
827 12/30/2000 the charlie rose show
atandt: CHARLIE ROSE TOUCHED MY BOTTOM
atandt
#woodring-stairs-background
828 12/31/2000 to kill twenty people
deuce: MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION WILL BE TO KILL TWENTY PEOPLE BEFORE THE YEAR 2002 (BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN THE WORLD WILL END) pants: OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE pants: HEY WAIT A MINUTE spigot: IS THIS EVEN THE ICE CAPADES
deuce
pants
spigot
#burnt-background

EPISODES: 2000

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