spigot: IF ONLY I HAD A HAMMER AND A MAP TO MOTEL 6 spigot: THUMP THUMP THUMP spigot: LET ME OUT OF HERE PEOPLE !!! IT'S THE WEEKEND SO I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BE HERE UNTIL MONDAY deuce: T SPIGOT I'M ON MY WAY

spigot: I SAID PLEASE PASS THE BONG AND HELP ME SMOKE IT pants: OH YOU

spigot: OKAY I NEED TO REGISTER ANOTHER DOMAIN AGAIN (HELP ME EVERYONE) atandt: GAYBAR.COM bung: BUSSTATION.COM bung: MENSROOM.EDU atandt: BUSTICKETS4INTERNETBOYS.COM spigot: I'M SENSING A LITTLE JUDGEMENT FROM YOU PEOPLE

deuce: SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU OPEN THAT FAT MARRIED MOUTH OF YOURS ONCE MORE I'LL FUCK YOU DEAD

pants: making a thanksgiving turkey, tracing fingers onto construction paper pants: sucking my own dick pants: never cutting the turkey out, never hanging it on the wall, just working my own hog pants: the turkey needs a little eye and a little smiling mouth??????? too bad giving head to myself deuce: did you mean your weird, meaty hands with their little stubby fingers pants: the very same (smiling, practically beaming) pants: so happy you noticed pants: help me put on this tie

spigot: HOW TO TRICK HER INTO LOCKING HERSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE SO I CAN BEAT OFF spigot: HONEY LOOK!!!!!!!! spigot: PUNCH CLINK

spigot: CAN WE HELP HUMANS JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY ON A SIDEWALK

spigot: DO I HAVE TO DRAW A MAP TO MY LAP

spigot: WHAT IF THE CAUSE OF THE BIG PLANE CRASH WAS ME FARTING?!?!?!?!? spigot: I AM HELPING MYSELF TO MORE SAUSAGE REGARDLESS

pants: THE OXFORD DONG deuce: YOUR INPUT IS APPRECIATED, HEN pants: NOW YOU'RE GETTING WITH IT

net: ALHAGHJLGFAJ;DAFGJL;DFAGKHJL;DFGALHJKASDFHJKLADFKHJLASDF net: HEAR MY WORDS deuce: I HEARD NOISE AND PERHAPS SOME SUCKERY deuce: HENCE THE J'S ?!?!?!?!?! net: AND THE SEMICOLONS deuce: HLAHGLAG

spigot: THERE'S A WOMAN IN THE LOBBY WHO SAYS YOU OWE HER AND HER FRIEND $600 EACH pants: CAN I DOUBLE DOWN spigot: (WHISPERING) ONE OF THEM LOOKS LIKE A SIR pants: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA spigot: S-SOMEONE MIGHT BE SLIPPIN' JIMMYING YOU pants: OKAY SO pants: THEY MAY HAVE A BUSINESS CASE ABOUT WHY I OWE THEM A PAYMENT

spigot: PULLING THE BRIDE ASIDE ON HER SPECIAL DAY AND DISCREETLY SHOWING HER THE DOG SHIT I NEARLY STEPPED IN spigot: DON'T WANT TO CAUSE ANY DRAMA spigot: MAYBE JUST GIVE THIS DOG SHIT TO THE GROOM BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO THROW IT AWAY MYSELF

pants: THE NEW TOM HANKS MOVIE COULD ONLY AFFORD ONE CAMERA AND ONE TRIPOD

pants: MICHAEL J FOX RETURNING TO SPIN CITY ?!?!? BRITNEY AND JUSTIN STILL GOING STRONG ?!?!?!? MICHAEL JORDAN MAKING A COMEBACK ?!?!!? pants: FOLKS THIS IS THE CHURCH OF JERKCITY pants: THE DSM-IV SAYS SO RIGHT HERE AND HERE AND HERE

spigot: I WOULD PREFER YOU NOT SQUEEZE AND GROPE WHAT YOU DESCRIBE AS MY "DOODLE DONG" pants: THIS BONG IS FILTHY !!! WE'LL NEED RUBBING ALCOHOL AND RICE spigot: MY NUTS HAVE FEELINGS TOO AND ESPECIALLY WITH THE KICKING, ETC pants: THE RICE IS TO TRAP THE REPUBLICAN GUARD HERE AND ABROAD spigot: I'M UNDER ARREST JUST BECAUSE FOR NO REASON pants: I CAN SEE YOUR BUNKER BUSTER (DRINKING THE RUBBING ALCOHOL)

deuce: I'M IN HYPOGLYCEMIC SHOCK spigot: HERE ARE SOME FUCKING PILLS FOR YOUR LIMP-ASS DICK

spigot: T DEUCE WHAT DID YOU GET ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY deuce: T SPIGOT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY I HAVE GOTTEN YOU: NOTHING deuce: T SPIGOT WHICH IS ACTUALLY A POSITIVE THING SINCE USUALLY I GET YOU: A PUNCH TO THE TITS deuce: AND BY THAT I MEAN ASSAULT AND BATTERY ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND spigot: HONKING IT

pants: OZONE AND / THE PIG (TO THE TUNE OF "BRIDAL CHORUS" BETTER KNOWN AS "HERE COMES THE BRIDE") hanford: YOU BE QUIET, OZONE AND THE PIG GOT PUSHED BACK TO 2016 pants: BHGLAUHGLUAH GAHGLUAG IT'S LIKE CALCUTTA IN HERE HLAGHLUAHGLUAHG pants: I'VE GOT WISDOM THAT I WANT TO PASS ON hanford: GET OUT FROM UNDER THE SINK WE'VE GOT REHEARSAL

spigot: HERE COMES THE COCKBOT spigot: I NEED A FRESCA AND A MOUNTAIN DEW AND A SHASTA spigot: BYE COCKBOT

pants: HERE COMES THE HOTSTEPPER pants: COCKS ??? deuce: THERE HE IS !!!!!!!! deuce: PEOPLE OF THE WORLD deuce: PANTS IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN' HOUSE : PANTS BELCHES UP SPERM deuce: CUT pants: SORRY

spigot: SO I HEAR HUGH GRANT HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HUGH DOWNS deuce: HERE COMES THE COCKBOT deuce: LOOK AT ME I'M QUEER deuce: BYE COCKBOT spigot: COME BACK

deuce: ARE WE ALL HERE FOR THE DURATION GENTLEMEN spigot: CLASS HURGLE : PUBLIC HURBLE

pants: BALLS FOR THE FACE PLEASE deuce: HERE FOR YOU

pants: HERE HE COMES pants: DANGLE deuce: GLARG deuce: SUDDENLY THIS PLAN IS GOING SOUTH

pants: THERE WAS A CHAP HIS NAME WAS BERT HE ATE THE BUTTONS OFF HIS SHIRT deuce: OKAY PEOPLE HERE I AM

deuce: T PANTS OKAY HERE I AM pants: T DEUCE YOUR THREE DIMENSIONAL LAWS DO NOT APPLY TO ME

deuce: HERE YOU ARE deuce: AND HERE I AM spigot: UH deuce: LA LA LA LA

deuce: HERE IT COMES spigot: KNOCK KNOCK!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: WHO'S THERE ?????????? spigot: SOUTH PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: SOUTH PARK WHO???????????????????? spigot: SOUTH PARK RULES !!!! CLICK HERE TO EMAIL ME spigot: OW spigot: GOD YOU'RE EMAILING ME WITH HAMMERS AND NAIL GUNS

spigot: OH CHRIST HERE IT COMES AGAIN LIKE NIAGRA FALLS

pants: DAYDREAMING ABOUT DICKS pants: NOT IN A GOOD WAY THOUGH pants: MORE OF A "THIS IS A BAD THING AND I KNOW IT" WAY pants: HERE LIES VERA pants: REST IN PEACE

spigot: I'M GAY spigot: I'M GAY spigot: IN A BIG BIG WAY spigot: THESE COCKS AND BALLS spigot: ARE HERE TO STAY

pants: HUGLAUHLGUAHLG deuce: GHLUAHGULAUHGLAG spigot: HERE WE ARE BUILDING COMMUNITIES

pants: I'M GOING TO STALK MY COCK pants: HERE WE GO pants: (FALLS ASLEEP)

deuce: HEY LOOK AT MY MOUTH deuce: IT'S OPEN REALLY REALLY WIDE

spigot: HERE'S A HINT FOR ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE DOING PORN SHOOTS: spigot: PUT A FUCKING EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE

spigot: PLEASE OVERRIDE MY VIRTUAL MEMBER deuce: I CAN ONLY OVERRIDE YOU IF YOU ARE A VIRTUAL MEMBER FUNCTION SIR spigot: HERE'S TEN DOLLARS deuce: NOW YOU'RE TALKING MOTHERFUCKER

spigot: BUT HERE'S THE THING, FOLKS: CHANDLER HALDERSON NEVER HAD PENIS REDUCTION SURGERY spigot: HE NEVER WENT TO THE MOON spigot: HE NEVER BUILT A TIME MACHINE AND CLONED ADOLF HITLER spigot: THOSE WERE ALL LIES

spigot: IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT LICK A DICK spigot: GURK / GURK spigot: IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT LICK A PRICK spigot: HURF / HONK spigot: IF YOU'RE SOMETHING SOMETHING GAY spigot: AND MY DONG IS IN THE WAY spigot: HERE'S THE TRICK: LICK A DICK / OR A PRICK spigot: ZZZZZZZZZ

pants: 24 YEARS OF DUMB NONSENSE pants: 24 YEARS OF UNTALENTED DROPOUTS pants: 24 YEARS OF BI-CURIOUS IDIOTS pants: 24 YEARS AND WE STILL HAVEN'T FIXED OUR MAKEFILES pants: 24 YEARS AND FIVE U.S. PRESIDENTS LATER pants: 24 YEARS OF ANNUAL REPORTS AND SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS bung: KILL YOURSELF ozone: ENOUGH ALREADY pants: 24 YEARS OF COCKSUCKING ON THE MOON _AND_ IN THE DATA CENTER pants: 24 YEARS OF UNMARKETABLE GEN-X FLOTSAM dick: JUST STOP hanford: I QUIT pants: 24 YEARS AND STILL NOT OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER pants: 24 YEARS WITH NO END IN SIGHT pants: LA LA LA GAY THOUGHTS pants: 24 YEARS WITH NOTHING TO SHOW BUT FATNESS pants: 24 YEARS OF STUPID BULLSHIT atandt: NO MORE effigy: NUGGGGH pants: 24 YEARS TOO LONG spigot: FUCK YOU deuce: SHUT UP pants: 24 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP 💚💙💜🧡

deuce: T PANTS COULD YOU MODEL MY NUTS OR NO pants: HERE'S TO HOPING pants: AND CHOKING

pants: SIT AROUND AND BE QUIET pants: UNTIL HOMICIDE SHOWS UP pants: THEN TALK YOUR FOOL HEAD OFF

spigot: ARE YOU MARRIED YET pants: NO pants: I MEAN SURE spigot: GREAT, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO spigot: NEXT TIME YOU AND YOUR WIFE ARE STANDING IN LINE SOMEWHERE spigot: TURN TO HER WITH A CONCERNED LOOK ON YOUR FACE pants: UH HUH spigot: SAY HONEY, MAY I BE FRANK WITH YOU pants: HOO BOY spigot: SHE'LL SAY "OKAY" OR "SURE" OR "OF COURSE" spigot: THEN YOU PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SAY HOW ABOUT THIS BALL PARK FRANK spigot: AND POINT AT YOUR PENIS ALL FLOPPED OUT AND PLUMP pants: WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE IN LINE spigot: JUST BE OUT IN PUBLIC

pants: DICKS: DEAD OR ALIVE ??? pants: THEY HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF ATOMS deuce: BUT YET SOMETHING IS LOST pants: NOT REALLY deuce: YOU ARE HEREBY EJECTED FROM THIS COURSE pants: I COULD TEACH THIS COURSE WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY HAULGHULAHULAGH pants: EXCUSE ME I HAVE A CALL COMING IN HUALGHAHLGUAUHLGAG OH GOD

hanford: WHAT PART OF WE DON'T HAVE THE BUDGET FOR A JERKCITY PODCAST DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND pants: BUT THE BUNNIES KEEP DYING hanford: "THEME TO SPIGOT THE BEAR" pants: THOSE THAT DON'T DIE ARE FORCED TO WORK hanford: NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR A JERKCITY PODCAST pants: THEY ARE TERRIBLE AT SORTING CARROTS

pants: IDEA: POPEYE BUT HIS SPINACH IS HEROIN AND HE JUST FALLS ASLEEP deuce: RUDE

pants: HEX-E-POO HEX-ON-YOU pants: WE CALL THIS RUNNING A TRAIN SO IF YOU'D PLEASE FORM A LINE TO THE LEFT pants: YOU DON'T NEED EYES TO SUCK DICK (SCENE DELETED) THERE WE GO

spigot: HEY

pants: U GOT A HARD-ON MISTER GRINCH spigot: :NOTES: HEY / OFFICER KRUP / KE spigot: I'M TRANS BTW :NOTES:

deuce: HEY CHECK OUT MY PENIS (POINTS AT PENIS) pants: HEY WOW THAT'S A PENIS pants: IS THERE A STARBUCKS NEARBY deuce: YES THERE IS (STILL POINTING AT PENIS)

net: HEY EVERYONE net: LET'S GET FRUITY deuce: WHAT IF I SAY NO net: I'LL DO IT ANYWAY

spigot: HEY EVERYONE LOOK OVER HERE I'M DOING MAGIC TRICKS spigot: OVER HERE EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME spigot: OKAY PULLING MY PANTS DOWN NOW spigot: IF YOU COULD JUST TURN YOUR HEAD JUST REAL QUICK spigot: ENTERTAINMENT OVER HERE PEOPLE, PUT THE BEER DOWN

spigot: HEY GALS ARE WE DONE SHAVING ONLY ONE SIDE OF OUR HAIR deuce: YEA WHAT THE FUCK FOLKS

spigot: holy shit i can just say hey google play bonequest hifi podcast and it starts with #494 pants: weezer is terrible deuce: I'm a kitty cat

deuce: MY BALLS ARE NON-GMO deuce: (LEANS CLOSER TO MIC) I SAID MY BALLS ARE NON-GMO

pants: PLEASE DON'T REFUSE ME TONIGHT pants: MASTURBATE ME QUICKLY SO I CAN GET BACK TO THE MOSH PIT pants: SHAKE IT SHAKE IT SHAKE IT SHAKE IT BABY pants: IS FUNKY IS FUNKY pants: HEEEEEEEEY IS FUNKY

spigot: HEY JUDE spigot: SOMETHING SOMETHING spigot: I KNOCKED THE BONG OVER pants: PAPER TOWELS spigot: YOU'RE JUST RUBBING IT INTO THE CARPET

deuce: HEY LOOK AT ME BLAHBLHAHBLABHBL

deuce: HURBLE BURBLE deuce: LOOK AT ME CHOKE THEM DOWN deuce: HEY LOOK HERE deuce: HURBLE BURBLE

pants: TO KEEP READING, PLEASE ENTER YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. pants: T DEUCE HEY NO REASON JUST CURIOUS BUT DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW WHAT A BUTTHOLE HOLIDAY IS (SHOULD I BE WORRIED) deuce: NO IDEA (LYING) pants: WELL I'M RELIEVED

deuce: HEY QUEERNUTS deuce: HOLY CHRIST ABOVE I'M A HAPPY CAMPER spigot: LET'S SING ABOUT BEING DRUNK AND SMOOSH CANS deuce: T SPIGOT I PREFER TO SIMPLY YELL RATHER THAN TRYING TO FORM NOTES spigot: SLURPING LIKE A BABOON

spigot: hey space: make something that doesn't look like dog shit spigot: hey universe: the cat box called, it wants those galaxies back spigot: hey neil degrasse tyson: (hangs up because it's a crank call) spigot: hello spigot: i said more like neil degrabs ladies

deuce: HEY STOP MAKING FUN OF ME spigot: I GET A CHOCOLATE SHAKE EVERY CHRISTMAS deuce: I LIKE THE MINT SHAKES ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY FROM MCDONALD'S BUT THEY WON'T LET ME HAVE THEM BECAUSE I'M BLACK spigot: "I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR FAT DICK AND MAKE YOU PLOW MY ASS" SAID THE QUEEREST VAMPYRE OF THE LOT, COUNT FUCKING FAGGOT deuce: [REDACTED] AWFULLY ENTERTAINING [REDACTED] [REDACTED]

atandt: HEY THEO atandt: WHY THE FUCK IS SYSLOG LISTENING ON PORT 514 atandt: YES I READ THE MAN PAGE atandt: WHEN I RUN NMAP AGAINST MY OPENBSD BOXES I WANT TO SEE SSH AND NOTHING ELSE atandt: FOR GOD'S SAKE I CAN'T GENERATE CODE I'M A COMIC STRIP CHARACTER SOMEBODY FIX THIS

pants: HEY UH HAVE YOU SEEN A LOBSTER THINGY AROUND HERE atandt: HE WAS DOING COKE IN THE GREEN ROOM SO I KICKED HIM OUT pants: HE HAD COKE ????? atandt: HE SEEMED DELICIOUS

pants: HEY UH HAVE YOU SEEN A LOBSTER THINGY AROUND HERE atandt: HE WAS DOING COKE IN THE GREEN ROOM SO I KICKED HIM OUT pants: HE HAD COKE ????? atandt: HE SEEMED DELICIOUS FOR A BUG THAT, YOU KNOW, EATS THINGS HE FINDS

pants: CAN'T BEAT OFF WITHOUT M-- pants: HEY WHAT ARE YOU pants: GAHLAHGLAHLAG

spigot: HEY WHAT DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF: spigot: (TAKES SHIT ON YOUR DESK)

deuce: HEY WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BLAM SHRAPNEL SQUIRMING FOR A FEW MOMENTS DEAD

deuce: GIVEN THAT THIS IS THE DAY OF JESUS' BIRTH LET'S ALL LICK DICK [WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS] spigot: NOT REALLY pants: BACK ON MY BULLSHIT spigot: HGBLHBGL GBLBLLGBL

pants: GENDERFLUID deuce: CISGAY pants: BIQUEER deuce: HOMOSTRAIGHT

pants: WHAT DOES LOWERCASE "HHHHHH" SOUND LIKE?!?!?!? deuce: THE BREATH BEHIND FORCED OUT OF A BODY BY A BOOT OR OTHER LARGE INSTRUMENT pants: SO WHAT DOES UPPERCASE "HHHHHHHH" SOUND LIKE deuce: BREATH BEING FORCED OUT MUCH QUICKER: LARGE FAT MAN STANDING ON YOUR CHEST, BEING CRUSHED BY A CAR pants: DEMONSTRATE FOR ME deuce: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

deuce: I THINK FOR CHRISTMAS YOU REALLY WANT HEATHER HUNTER'S RAP CD deuce: AND deuce: ANOTHER COPY OF HEATHER HUNTER'S RAP CD ???? pants: WHY NOT EDDIE MURPHY'S PARTY ALL THE TIME deuce: BUT THAT'S NOT HEATHER HUNTER'S RAP CD (HHRC)

deuce: HI !!!!!!!!!!!!!! bung: HI!!!!!!!!!1!!!! deuce: LET'S SUCK EACH OTHER OFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bung: NO CARRIER

:HEY: ATANDT deuce: FUCK YOU atandt: NOT THE WELCOME I WAS EXPECTING atandt: BUT IT'S A WELCOME NONE THE LESS atandt: IN CONCLUSION: FREE BLOWJOBS

deuce: HI pants: COCKS deuce: THE HI/COCKS PROTOCOL (RFC 4373) pants: COCKS (BREAKING PROTOCOL) deuce: NO THAT WAS IT UNFORTUNATELY

: INIT: SINGLE USER MODE ozone: HI AND WELCOME TO DICKLICKERS ANONYMOUS ozone: MY NAME IS DAVE ozone: (HI DAVE) ozone: AND I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DICKLICKING deuce: WHAT KIND OF PROBLEM COULD EVER BE INVOLVED WITH DICKLICKING ?!?!?

spigot: ...:::;;;===((({{{[[[<<< HI >>>]]]}}})))===;;;:::...

hitler: HI GUYS deuce: DAMMIT WHO LET HITLER IN hitler: I'M HITLER hitler: PLAY WITH MY BALLS pants: WE'D BETTER DO AS DER FUHRER SAYS hitler: I'M HITLER atandt: T HITLER DID THAT GUY ONLY HAVE ONE BALL OR WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THAT hitler: I'M HITLER hitler: PLAY WITH MY BALLS hitler: NONE OF YOU ARE LISTENING !!! EINER CLAMPEN !!! I AM LEAVING FOREVER pants: YOU KNOW WHAT ?!?!?!? I DON'T THINK WE'VE SEEN THE LAST OF HIM

spigot: HI I'M A NICE GAZEBO FROM ORCHARD SUPPLY LET'S GO TO MY PLACE / HONK SURPRISE I'M AN OUTHOUSE TOILET

pants: CAN I TAKE THE JEAN-CHARLES TO THE BUSINESS DISTRICT TO SEE THE TRANNYAMERICA PYRAMID OR WHAT'S THE DEAL

pants: I’M A LOVELY DAY deuce: FUCK YOU, LOVELY DAY pants: HIC

spigot: HICKORY DICKORY DOCK spigot: THE MOUSE DID SOMETHING UNSAVORY uncredited rageguy: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

spigot: QUICK HIDE THE JERKCITY spigot: WHEN I GET DIVORCED I HOPE I GET THE BATHROOM spigot: NOT FOR ANY REASON (HINT: SUCKING)

pants: JUST KEEP STUFFING THEM IN MY MOUTH pants: T SPIGOT SHUT UP I'M HIDING FROM THE NAZIS spigot: SOMETIMES I'LL BE JERKING AND THEN THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE WILL DEVELOP SOMETHING OF AN ATTITUDE AND I'LL BE VERY FIRM AND SAY YOU'RE NOT HERE TO BE CLEVER JUST DO YOUR JOB AND JERK ME

pants: HIDING IN A CRAMPED HOLE deuce: THROWING YOU A LIFELINE (BOILING OIL)

pants: T DEUCE WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THE HIGHEST PRIME NUMBER NOW THAT YOU'VE CAUGHT IT IN A JAR deuce: I PANTS I'M GOING TO WAIT FOR IT TO DIE AND THEN DISSECT IT BY FINDING SMALLER NUMBERS THAT I CAN MULTIPLY TO MAKE THE ORIGINAL NUMBER

pants: GOOD ONE deuce: HOW ABOUT A GOOD RUBBING pants: HIGH FIVE pants: YOU HEARD THE MAN MOPS AND BUCKETS PEOPLE ASSES AND ELBOWS THIS INSTANT ON THE DOUBLE deuce: CHOP CHOP

pants: SMEARING HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP ON MY DICK pants: YOUR BROWSER DOES NOT ACCEPT COOKIES. IF YOU WANT TO PUT PRODUCTS INTO YOUR CART AND PURCHASE THEM YOU NEED TO ENABLE COOKIES. pants: I SHALL DESTROY ALL THE CIVILIZED PLANETS

pants: SLOBBER YUM DUHHHH THIS GAME HAS NO RESET HLAGHLUAGULG

deuce: T SPIGOT I MOVED JERKCITY BECAUSE OF YOUR MISBEHAVIOR spigot: PLEASE TAKE THE JERKCITY DOWN OFF THE HIGH SHELF SO I CAN SMOOSH THEM INTO MY FACE

pants: SMASH IT INTO MY FACE AT HIGH SPEED deuce: BLA-DOW

pants: BA-GURRRK HEAD CHOPPED OFF :CHICKEN: :AXE: spigot: HIGH VELOCITY PUDDING SPLATTER ALL OVER MY SHIRT PANTS AND FACE spigot: TELL-TALE PATTERN ON THE CEILING INDICATING THE SPOON WAS MOVING UP AND DOWN RAPIDLY deuce: COOKIE AVAILABILITY IS LOW SO THE WOODCHIPPER MUST RELY ON PUDDING spigot: I'M ON A FIXED INCOME SO MAYBE ONE DICK A WEEK

spigot: I REALLY JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO DEANZA AND GET MY DEGREE spigot: MY DEGREE IN COCKSUCKERY THAT IS

spigot: NASA LAUNCHES PEPSI ONE ORBITER, TOMMY HILFIGER LANDER deuce: CALVIN KLINE THINGY WHICH CRASHES INTO THE POLE spigot: ALIENS HAVE GREAT TASTE!!!!! spigot: BOOP GLOOP ALIEN NOISES AND HORRID 3D GRAPHICS AND EVENTUALLY FRASIER deuce: T SPIGOT WITH THAT KIND OF GARBAGE AT LEAST NASA COULD DO SOMETHING spigot: INSTEAD OF LOOKING UP AT THE MOON WE CAN ALL LOOK UP AT THE C|NET deuce: WHAT spigot: I SAID LET'S ALL LICK A DICK!!!!! spigot: HGLGHBLHGLBHGGLH deuce: BALUGHLAGLAGAG

atandt: CAN WE HAVE SOME HILLBILLY MUSIC deuce: EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET WHILE I'M JERKING

deuce: MY BRAIN IS SWIMMING IN ENDORPHINS, ALCOHOL, CRACK COCAINE deuce: FFFFFU deuce: HOSPITAL

pants: MY FACE pants: MY FACE pants: MY FAGGY STUPID FACE deuce: I DON'T THINK YOU'RE BEING SINCERE

spigot: MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH

.deuce: I FEEL LIKE JERKING .deuce: BUT I WON'T LET THE DEVIL CONTROL MY BEHAVIOR .deuce: INSTEAD I'LL YANK