pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGGGH pants: TAKE IT OFF pants: TAKE IT ALL OFF

pants: JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS CORNY DREAM

spigot: I'M GOOD AND PLENTY pants: GET OFFA ME spigot: TODAY WE HONOR THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO CLEAN OUR TOILETS

spigot: OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN spigot: PISS : SPIGOT LEAVES

deuce: IF I REALLY LICK THIS DICK WILL IT MAKE ME GAY LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE SAYS OR WILL IT GIVE ME SUPER POWERS LIKE WHAT YOU SAY spigot: SUPER POWERS

deuce: OKAY GLHGHLGHGLHGHLGHLGLHGHL

spigot: CLOCK BONK BONK BONK BA-DONK BA-DONK BA-DONK HELLO DONK DONK DONK

pants: SOFT, GETTING SOFTER pants: GETTING SOFTER pants: SOFTER

deuce: ALL YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD JUST DO PORN AND DIE

pants: TURNING BACK TIME TO SUCK ALL THOSE DICKS AGAIN deuce: HOW DO I TURN THIS THING OFF

spigot: WHAT WOULD BE SUPER IS IF YOU COULD PLEASE SHUT YOUR BIG FAT YAPPER

deuce: HOLD ME pants: I CANNOT GET MY ARMS AROUND YOU deuce: I AM FAT YES pants: AND I HAVE SHORT LITTLE ARMS YES pants: YOUR PEAR-SHAPE AND MY USELESS APPENDAGES MAKE US THE PERFECT DICK TRACY BAD GUYS deuce: HOLD ME

spigot: T RANDS REMEMBER WHEN WE WORKED AT THE BOARDWALK AND SQUIRTED MUSTARD ON EACH OTHER spigot: T RANDS REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT TO THE MINIATURE GOLF ARCADE AND PLAYED TOOBIN' pants: T SPIGOT HE CAN'T HEAR YOU spigot: T RANDS I THINK YOU REMEMBER ALL THAT AND MORE *BEEP* pants: T SPIGOT HE'S IN A BETTER PLACE NOW

atandt: DON'T GO CHASING WATERFALLS deuce: JUST STICK TO THE DICKS AND THE BALLS THAT YOU'RE USED TO atandt: YES AND YES atandt: IS SOMEONE DOWNLOADING PORN BECAUSE MY CONNECTION IS DEAD HERE PEOPLE deuce: WANG ME

spigot: I BLACKED OUT!!!!!! spigot: IT'S GOT TO BE ON VIDEOTAPE SOMEWHERE spigot: [BATT LOW] spigot: OKAY I'M DONE

spigot: REMEMBER WHEN I UNPLUGGED YOUR STUPID COMPUTER AND JUST STARED AT YOU spigot: DON'T LIE TO ME WITH THAT FAT FACE

pants: WANG WANG WANG WANG! WANG! WANG! pants: COME ON PEOPLE spigot: WANG WUH WUH pants: YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED spigot: I'M A LITTLE PUFFY J/K!!!!!!!!!! WANG WANG WANG WANG WANG

deuce: PEOPLE SHUT UP AND CONCENTRATE ON THIS KNOB spigot: OH BOY HERE'S SPIGOT AGAIN spigot: DFDFD spigot: SPIGOT LEAVES

deuce: EXCUSE ME BUT DOES TWO GUYS REALLY QUALIFY AS A "GANG" WAS: RE: GANG BANG pants: WILL THIS BE ON THE FINAL deuce: JALAPENO POPPERS pants: HOLD ME LIKE YOU'LL NEVER LET ME GO pants: SERIOUSLY LET ME GO NOW deuce: NOPE YOU'RE MINE NOW

deuce: MY SOFT KISSES pants: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: THE BEATLES pants: (TEENAGE GIRLS SCREAMING) SHE LOVES YOU YEAH YEAH YEAH pants: THE BEATLES ON THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW ARE AN EXCELLENT DISTRACTION FROM LOWERCASE FAG KISSES deuce: MMMMMMM KISSES

spigot: LOOK OVER THERE!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: SLAM spigot: FORGOT MY PURSE!!!!!!! spigot: SLAM

pants: WE'RE INTERACTING IN A VIRTUAL ENVIRONMENT deuce: T PANTS GROSS

pants: TEACH ME TO PISS WITHOUT SPLATTERING IT ALL OVER YOUR FACE pants: I CAN LEARN

deuce: GLAHGLAGH PAULI SPIN MATRICES pants: SPEAK ENGLISH OR DIE

pants: COCKS? deuce: ROGER pants: COCKS??????????????? deuce: NEGATORY pants: FUCK

deuce: SHITTING WHERE YOU EAT ONCE AGAIN pants: BUT SHIT IS WHAT I EAT

spigot: HURRRRRRRR SQUATS AND REPS AND LIFTS AND SPLUTTERY SHITS pants: OATS 'N SQUATS / OATS 'N SQUATS pants: BUT I pants: OATS 'N SQUATS pants: OKAY

spigot: NORA ALPHA MOONSHINE WHISKEY METHAMPHETAMINE HUSTLER spigot: 73'S TO YA!!!!!! spigot: HOLPTH GURF MY TEETH FELL OUT

deuce: HOLY SHIT YOUR CUNT IS KICKABLE pants: DO IT

pants: MAVIS BACON TEACHES HANDJOBS deuce: WITH THAT BEAMING SMILE pants: WHAT A WHORE deuce: DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MS. BACON THAT WAY deuce: I'M A QUANTUM SUPERPOSITION OF TWO STATES: |GAY> + |FAG>

pants: I WOULD LIKE SOME DICK PLEASE pants: NOT A LOT pants: JUST A DAB

pants: [MUSIC UP AND UNDER] deuce: KA-BLAM deuce: MY DONG ARISES deuce: LIKE THE MORNING SUN OR A MUSHROOM CLOUD

pants: WHICH DUNE BOOK ARE YOU deuce: I'D HAVE TO SAY CHILDREN OF DONG

spigot: A LITTLE......... spigot: T O O M U C H I N F O R M A T I O N spigot: YYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH spigot: Y'ALL BE POSTING IN A TROLL THREAD

pants: LARP? deuce: QUITE POSS. pants: FILK? deuce: V. LIKELY pants: JAMES CAMERON'S AVATAR? deuce: KILL ALL QUEER COCKSUCKERS

spigot: T DEUCE I SNAPPED MY DICK IN A 3-RING TRAPPER KEEPER deuce: T SPIGOT HOLY CHRIST

deuce: EAT SHIT FUCKFACE pants: T DEUCE LANGUAGE

pants: WHATEVER THE NOISE IS FOR EATING CHOCOLATE CAKES spigot: I WOULD SAY HOMPTH HURMPTH AND ADD A SMOOSHING IN FOR GOOD MEASURE

deuce: STOP TOUCHING MY DICK pants: OKAY pants: SORRY deuce: OKAY NOW START AGAIN pants: OKAY

net: I AM OFFERING TO SHOW YOU MY BALLS

spigot: EGG FU PRICK spigot: PORK DONGS spigot: DICK STICKERS spigot: LEMON BONERS spigot: WHAT KIND OF FOOD IS THIS

spigot: TRYING TO ADMIRE MY OWN HARDON spigot: NOTE: COACH AND WINGS ARE CHANGING PLACES THIS WEDNESDAY (spigot): GOODNIGHT FAT BALLS

pants: SMASH IT INTO MY FACE AT HIGH SPEED deuce: BLA-DOW

spigot: ICE ON THE MOON?!?!?! I THOUGHT YOU SAID ICE CREAM spigot: LET ME OUT OF THIS SHUTTLE (CLONKING, LATCHING) spigot: HOSES AND TUBES SPUTTERING AND SPURTING AND EJECTING MY SALTINES

pants: NOW THAT'S-A NICE PENIS pants: LIGHTLY DUSTING IT WITH FLOUR

deuce: OKAY FINE deuce: OFF TO RAPE GHOSTS IN MY SLEEP (WHERE IT'S TOTALLY LEGAL) deuce: LEGAL I TELL YOU, LEGAL

spigot: WHAT'S STRANGE IS WHY MY PANTS ARE DOWN AND THE LIGHTS ARE OFF

pants: COME OUT FROM UNDER THERE AND BE GAY WITH ME spigot: CAN I JUST PLEASE BE GAY FROM HERE TODAY pants: I CAN'T FIT IN THERE WITH YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU (OH ALSO YOU I DIDN'T SEE YOU BACK THERE HI HOW'S IT GOING)

pants: HE KNOCKED MY TEETH OUT AND NOW I HAVE TO GUM THE DICK

spigot: THAT'S NEAT HOW VOID POINTERS CAN TAKE ANY KIND OF DATA spigot: NOTE: (spigot): BUT NOT DATA PERTAINING TO HOW QUEER AND FAT I AM

spigot: OOF spigot: OW spigot: BONK

deuce: GET UP pants: NO

pants: CAN WE PLEASE WANG deuce: NO pants: I BEG OF YOU deuce: NEGATIVE pants: THEN LET ME SPURT UP THE NEIGHBORS deuce: WELL OKAY

deuce: HANDS UP WHO'S A SPICE GIRL spigot: I CAN FEEL MY MOUTH GETTING SORE ALREADY

spigot: DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS DICKS deuce: DAMN STRAIGHT spigot: SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME SEQUENCE OF COLORS deuce: YOU HAVE TOUCHED THE FACE OF GOD deuce: LET SLIP THE DONGS OF WAR spigot: YOU FUCKING LESBIAN

pants: THERE WILL BE NO GLORY IN YOUR SACRIFICE pants: THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW YOU EXISTED AT ALL pants: CHECK OUT MY ABS HALGHALUGHLAH GLBALGHLBAG

deuce: I LIKE DICK: I WOULDN'T CALL IT LOVE BUT IT'S DEFINITELY A LIKE pants: THE MAN LIKES DICK pants: LET'S ALL GIVE HIM A BIG HAND pants: DON'T GO AWAY WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

pants: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, WE'VE GOT DEUCE WITH US deuce: PERFECT SINE WAVE TONE

spigot: TAKE OUR DAUGHTERS TO THE TOILET DAY spigot: GLUG GLUG spigot: IS THIS THE COCKSUCKATORIUM

deuce: DOES PANTS STILL WORK AT JERKCITY deuce: HELLO deuce: WHERE DID YOU PEOPLE GO

deuce: DING DONG pants: SPRAY ME WITH WATER SO I CAN GROW

deuce: LET'S REVIEW: deuce: JERKCITY GUYS SAY DICKS = POETRY deuce: OTHER PEOPLE SAY DICKS = CHILDISH FAGGOTS

atandt: T DEUCE WHERE IS MY KOREAN deuce: T ATANDT HIDDEN UNDER THE FLOORBOARD

deuce: NOT A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR FUCKING FAGGY INHALER COMES WITH THREE REFILLS pants: YOU CAN STILL SMOKE THOUGH RIGHT

spigot: BEEP BEEP HONK GET OFF THE SIDEWALK HURF BONK THE BIG BUS MIRROR CLONKED ME INTO THE BUSHES URF URF PEDDLING AND WRANGLING MY SHAMROCK SHAKE spigot: IT'S HARD FOR ME TO GRIP BOTH HANDLEBARS AND A COLD SHAKE spigot: WHAT I NEED IS A TALL ORANGE FLAG

deuce: PURELY PSYCHOSOMATIC AFTER THE FACT pants: STILL NO BITE MARKS

pants: I TAUGHT MY FAT FROG TO SUCK FAT DICK pants: ANY QUESTIONS deuce: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUH NO pants: MMMMMMMM DAY OLD SOMETHING

pants: GIVE ME A GOOD OLD FASHIONED BLACKOUT

pants: GLAHGULAHLGAG pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGGH pants: AGHLAUG HLAGHLHUAGAG pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGGH pants: SUCH IS THE LIFE OF A COCK ZOMBIE

pants: CAN'T WE JUST spigot: POKE CHOKE SOAK REPEAT / POKE CHOKE SOAK REPEAT pants: PLEASE IF YOU spigot: I CAN'T HEAR YOU pants: GET OFF ME

deuce: YOU BRADE RUNNAH pants: I JUST DO BALLS

deuce: T PANTS YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS deuce: T PANTS YOU LOVE TOO MUCH pants: SQUIRT MUSTARD UP AND DOWN MY PENIS

pants: T DEUCE IF I HAD A BAND IT WOULD BE CALLED "PERFECT HOODIE WEATHER" deuce: DONGS

spigot: COULD THERE BE ANYTHING MORE DISGUSTING THAN SOMETHING CALLED PEOPLESOFT

pants: IF IT EVER STOPS RAINING AGAIN LET'S LICK DICK deuce: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT pants: JUST LICK DICK THEN pants: IT'S ONLY NATURAL

deuce: (IF (DEFINED? 'COCKMONSTER) (SUCK 'COCK)) pants: WWWWWWWW TRYING TO MOVE FORWARD

pants: LET'S MAKE A SNUFF FILM deuce: COOL

pants: RUB ME THE WRONG WAY pants: HITLER'S SECRET BEATOFF BUNKER pants: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PENIS THIS GAY (HAVE YOU) pants: REALLY PUSH YOUR FACE INTO IT pants: PUSH/SMOOSH deuce: HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING

deuce: IT'S HARD TO GET OUT THE STAINS OF SADNESS pants: SADNESS AND POO

deuce: BE VERY QUIET deuce: THE DICKS ARE AFOOT pants: I AM HUSHED deuce: FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL pants: I'M SUCKING AS SILENTLY AS I CAN

deuce: (LAMBDA DONG () (DONG))

pants: NEED YA TO STICK AN UMBRELLA INTO MY PEE HOLE pants: FOOMPH deuce: HOMO pants: I DIDN'T SAY TOUCH IT I JUST SAID STICK AN UMBRELLA UP THERE

spigot: /TIRED_OLD_CONCEPT.JPG spigot: /YAWNING.GIF

spigot: I BELIEVE I AM A GAY DONG IN THE SHAPE OF A PERSON deuce: T SPIGOT WE SHALL SOON TEST THAT HYPOTHESIS

spigot: MUST SET ALARM FOR 5AM TOILET SCRUBBING

spigot: THROW A FUCKING PARADE PEOPLE

pants: NOBODY LIKES ANAL (NOT EVEN HUMANS) deuce: PORNSTARS SURE DON'T deuce: THEIR PAINFUL GRIMACE REVEALS THEIR SORROW pants: DOES MY GAY MOUSTACHE LOOK GAY (WITH THIS COCK NEARBY) (HOVERING)

pants: T DEUCE I'M ONLY GOING TO ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME: pants: T DEUCE ARE YOU THE AUTOEXEC.BAT OR THE CONFIG.SYS deuce: T PANTS ANSI.SYS pants: T DEUCE SAY IT ISN'T SO

ozone: ALSO YOU MY BITCH deuce: WELL OKAY CLIMB ON THEN

pants: GET IT TOGETHR MAN deuce: WUHHHHHHHHH pants: THERE ARE UNLICKED DICKS IN THE OH WOW A TYPO LET'S START AGAIN FROM UNLICKED DICKS IN THE BRIG deuce: YES SIR pants: THERE ARE UNLICKED DICKS IN THE BRIG AND WE'VE GOT TO GET DOWN THERE

pants: LOUDSPEAKER: AND OUR HEROES LICKED DICK, THE END. PLEASE EXIT THE THEATER IN AN ORDERLY FASHION deuce: THEN THE POLICE CAME

pants: IT GOES SOMETHING LIKE THIS: HUMPING MOTIONS pants: GAY SEX THAT GIVES OFF LIGHTNING BOLTS AND SMOKE pants: THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER

pants: NONESUCH AND POPPYCOCK deuce: BALDERDASH AND ALSO POSSIBLY BANDERSNATCH pants: PISHTOSH AND MISHMASH pants: REDACTED ANAL QUACKERY (IT'S A DONE DEAL)

spigot: I'M THE NIBBLES AWAY SO PLEASE BRUN ME deuce: T SPIGOT THE MORE YOU PUT IT OFF THE MORE THE BITS WILL PILE UP !!!!

spigot: PORTAL 2 BETTER NOT BE HARD

spigot: ICE CREAM CONE TITS (EVEN SHAPED LIKE A DOWNVOTE) deuce: T SPIGOT IF [A, B] = 0 THEN A B = B A spigot: SHOULD I /R/ASKSCIENCE WHAT KIND OF MATH THE DINOSAURS DID

spigot: SPLUT, SPLOSH, SPLORP spigot: THESE CHINESE FRENCH FRIES TASTE LIKE TOFU spigot: THE EXPONENTIAL GROWTH OF MY NATURAL LOG

spigot: THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SPIGOT spigot: I WAS PROMISED HAMBURGERS IN STALL 3 spigot: DISAPPOINTED

pants: GET READY GET SET AND SUCK pants: I KNOW HOW GAY YOU PEOPLE ARE SO STOP TRYING TO HIDE IT PLEASE pants: YOUR MOUSTACHERY AND LEATHERWEARERY ARE SO TRANSPARENT

deuce: BREATHING deuce: SLOWLY deuce: AS deuce: TO deuce: NOT deuce: ATTRACT deuce: THE deuce: PIRANHA

deuce: HEY LOOK AT ME I'M A FAT FEMALE ENGINEER deuce: BABHALBHALBHALHBLAHBLAHBALHB deuce: EATING DONUTS AND MISSING THE POINT OF STRUCTURED CODE spigot: HEY LADY IT'S CALLED A TAB KEY

spigot: SOMETIMES I PUT THE POO RIGHT IN MY FACE AND THINK ABOUT JERKCITY deuce: WOW deuce: DO YOU REALLY

deuce: T PANTS I WOULD LIKE A SALAD WITH RANCH DRESSING THANK YOU deuce: T PANTS COULD I ALSO GET CURLY FRIES pants: T DEUCE YOU DO NOT DESERVE CURLY FRIES (PLACING THEM BACK ON THE HOTPLATE) deuce: T PANTS HOLY WHAT THE

pants: OW OW THERE IS A MOUSE CURSOR IN MY EYE

(spigot): SECRET PRICKS deuce: T SPIGOT I HEAR YOU BROTHER spigot: EIGHT BITS, NO PARITY deuce: WHAT ABOUT THE STOP BITS ????????????? spigot: BLOOM COUNTY

deuce: WOMEN ARE WHISPERING ABOUT MY PATHETIC LITTLE DICK pants: OOH I CARE ABOUT THAT

spigot: WEAVE ME A HEARTSCAPE deuce: T SPIGOT WHAT

deuce: WHY CAN'T I BE LOVED deuce: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAN'T CONTROL MY BOWELS/MOUTH

spigot: THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE SHIT ALL OVER YOURSELF

pants: LET'S ALL DEGRADE THE OBJECT

deuce: MAXIMUM STEALTH deuce: DICKS ACQUIRED deuce: DECLOAKING

deuce: FOLKS THIS PORN ISN'T GOING TO BEAT ITSELF OFF pants: IT MIGHT!!!!!!! DON'T GIVE UP THE GHOST

deuce: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW IT'S WHO YOU GARK GARK GARK spigot: FOLKS IT CAN BE A SLOPPY *******OR******* A SWALLOW BUT NOT BOTH

deuce: XANAX + VODKA = <RAPE MACHINE ACTIVATED> pants: GO GO GO

pants: RIBBIT pants: RIBBIT pants: RIBBIT pants: BALLS pants: RIBBIT pants: RIBBIT pants: RIBBIT pants: RIBBIT

spigot: GARBAGE DISPOSAL = 3 INCHES WIDE spigot: FROG = 8 INCHES WIDE spigot: WE HAVE A PROBLEM

pants: T DEUCE GIVE ME HEAD IN THE SAUNA deuce: UMM pants: C'MON deuce: HMMM

deuce: MY DONG HAS KNEES deuce: IS THAT NORMAL

spigot: WHERE THE HELL ARE MY COCKITY NUTS spigot: OKAY FOUND THEM

spigot: WELPS TIME FOR MY PATIENCE PILLS spigot: DOOPS, TOOK THE SUICIDE PILLS spigot: IMPATIENTLY WAITING TO DIE spigot: FUCK IT, MORE SUICIDE PILLS GULP GOMPTH GURK spigot: OKAY THOSE WERE THE PATIENCE PILLS spigot: NEED A LABEL MAKER spigot: NOPE, SUDDENLY COMFORTABLE AND FEELIN' FINE spigot: DEAD

pants: COSPLAY pants: LARPING pants: FILKING pants: RELOADING

spigot: YOUR VIDEO WILL BEGIN AFTER THIS ADVERTISEMENT spigot: 1:59 spigot: 1:58 spigot: OH COME ON spigot: 1:57 spigot: 1:56 spigot: JESUS H. CHRIST FUCKING HURRY UP spigot: 1:55

deuce: HYPERBOLIC deuce: SYLLABIC deuce: SESQUEDALYMISTIC

deuce: LOOK: NO DICKSUCKING FOR 24 HOURS deuce: NEW RULE deuce: OKAY SUSPENDING NEW RULE (SUCK THIS)

pants: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ pants: JJJJJJJJJJJ pants: JJJJJACK pants: ME pants: OFF pants: WITH pants: YOUR pants: FEET

pants: SMASHING YOUR STUPID FACE : Microsoft Corporation product license dialogue box with deuce's face. : This product is licensed to King Kong, Jungle Isle.

pants: LET'S WATERPROOF OUR POCKETS AND FILL THEM WITH PISS I'M THINKING ONE OR TWO LAYERS OF BLACK GARBAGE BAGS MOLDED INTO THE POCKET WITH HOT GLUE pants: NO RESULTS FOUND FOR "DO BUTTERFLIES HAVE BUTTHOLES". pants: IT WAS CLEARLY A MISTAKE TO RIG ME OUT WITH WHEELS

deuce: WHERE IS EVERYBODY spigot: GROUP GROPE spigot: BLHLRTUBHLAISEUG()**W$ deuce: WUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

spigot: I SHOULD PROBABLY BRING A GUN TO WORK AT LEAST ONCE IN MY LIFE

deuce: YEAH BB 50 TOK FOR TITS

pants: BUT I'M WARNING YOU NO GAY GAMES pants: BY WHICH I MEAN HAND ON KNEE, TOUCHING ME ON THE LOWER BACK, SHIRTLESS IN THE HOT TUB AND SO FORTH

deuce: CAT VOMIT: FOUND, CHANCE ESTIMATED AT 25% deuce: CAT VOMIT: STEPPED IN BEFORE FOUND, CHANCE NOT ESTIMATED deuce: GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS

spigot: SAYS HERE CALIFORNIA WON'T SELL GUNS TO MENTAL PATIENTS pants: THE COOKIES HAVE FUDGE INSIDE THE FUDGE

spigot: YOU WENT THERE (POINTING ON THE FLOOR WHERE YOU WENT) spigot: I SEE YOU ALSO WENT THERE AND THERE AND THERE spigot: REALLY SEEING WHAT YOU DID THERE AND CONFIRMING THAT WHAT YOU SAID IS WHERE YOU WENT spigot: THE EXTRA MILE AND SUCH spigot: AND SO FORTH AND WHAT NOT AND ETCETERA AT THE END OF THE DAY spigot: CONNECTING THE DOTS WITH MY DUCKS IN A ROW spigot: BLAM BLAM DONGS spigot: FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

deuce: DON'T PULL YOUR DICK OUT LIKE LAST TIME pants: FLOP

deuce: I HAVE NO IDEA WHO VIEWED THAT MIDGET TRANNY PORN, SENATOR [LEANING FORWARD TO SPEAK INTO MICROPHONE]

spigot: BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH MOVEMENT ALL OVER YOUR FACE spigot: SING A SONG WITH THAT BROWN DILDO IN YOUR MOUTH spigot: FOLKS WE CAN'T ALL LICK DICK IN THE SAME CRANBERRY BOG

spigot: PRASHANT YOUR NONFAT ICED MOCHA IS READY spigot: (PRASHANT) spigot: GOT A DOUBLE-TALL VANILLA LATTE FOR PRASHANT

spigot: DRAWING DICKS ON MY FACE, PRETENDING TO PASS OUT (NOT REALLY A SOLUTION)

spigot: EINSTEIN WAS ****RIGHT***** PEOPLE!!!!!!! spigot: ABOUT THE THING HE SAID WAS RIGHT THAT WE CONFIRMED WAS RIGHT ABOUT 80 YEARS AGO spigot: FOLKS IT'S STILL RIGHT spigot: IS ALL I'M SAYIN spigot: HE AND IT == BOTH RIGHT spigot: BOTH CONFIRMED spigot: (AGAIN) ONCE MORE spigot: I WILL DOUBLE CHECK

spigot: BUH HUH I CAN BE FUNNY SEE LOOK WITH MY MAGIC pants: MAKE THE TIP OF MY DICK VANISH spigot: SAY GOODBYE TO SPIGOT (FOREVER) pants: COME BACK WITH MY TIP OF DICK

spigot: I HAVE LEARNED THE VALUE OF SIMPLY BEING MYSELF spigot: CAN I COME BACK TO THE GAY CLUB OR HAVE I BEEN EXCLUDED

deuce: T PANTS WHO WON THE FUCKING WAR pants: T DEUCE THE DONGS

pants: TAKE YOUR GAS MASK EVERYWHERE pants: GROW YOUR OWN FOOD pants: PUT OUT YOUR PAPER FOR SALVAGE

deuce: EVERYBODY MEET ON JERKCITY IN FIVE MINUTES spigot: INSTEAD OF "SOYLENT" GREEN IT SHOULD BE "SOILED" BECAUSE I JUST TOOK A BIG FAT DUMP RIGHT HERE IN MY BEIGE LOAFERS EVERYONE pants: I'M ALL WRAPPED UP IN A DIAPER RIGHT NOW BUT OKAY pants: IF YOU DON'T MIND MY BUFFOONISH APPEARANCE I'LL BE THERE spigot: CC: EGG MCMUFFIN

spigot: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HONESTLY RATE MY DONG ON A SCALE FROM DICKS TO PRICKS

spigot: ALL THOSE IN FAVOR spigot: FOLKS THESE WOMEN NEED ROOMS TO CLEAN AND IF THERE'S NO spigot: EXCUSE ME I HAVE THE FLOOR spigot: THE FIRST ITEM IN THE ARRAY, ITEM ZERO, WILL BE DOGSHIT spigot: HANDS UP WHO KNOWS WHY IT'S CALLED ITEM ZERO spigot: HANDS UP WHO'S HEARD OF ARRAYS spigot: HANDS UP WHO LIKES DOGSHIT spigot: FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

spigot: I'M A VAMPIRE deuce: ME TOO deuce: OKAY THAT WOULD BE COOL I GUESS spigot: WE CAN BE FAGGOTS spigot: LOVE deuce: GLUG

deuce: I'M A LATE-NIGHT BONER deuce: SUCK JUST ONE MORE OF ME BEFORE YOU GO TO BED deuce: I WILL HELP YOU SLEEP

pants: OW spigot: KNOCK IT OFF

pants: IF YOU SEE A SOCK IN A PARKING LOT DON'T TOUCH IT THE MOTHER MIGHT REJECT IT THEN DEATH IS ALL BUT A CERTAINTY

atandt: T DEUCE PLZ LOVE ME deuce: I CANNOT atandt: T DEUCE PLZ TRY

spigot: TRYING TO ENJOY A BOWL OF GRINS SMILES GIGGLES & LAUGHS HERE spigot: THAT CECIL THE ROBOT CRACKS ME UP THE NUTS

spigot: THIS IS THE STIFFEST MY BONE HAS BEEN IN LIKE THREE WEEKS spigot: ALSO JERKCITY IS ON TONIGHT pants: HELLO? spigot: T DEUCE NOT SURE IF IT'S A REPEAT pants: HELLO? spigot: T DEUCE I'M ALREADY TAPING IT pants: IS THERE ANYONE HERE pants: IS THIS THE IRC OR JUST UNIX spigot: T DEUCE NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU pants: MY GOOD CHRIST spigot: SCOOT OVER

deuce: ALL THE NICKELS YOU CAN SWALLOW pants: TWENTY-EIGHT NICKELS, THEN

pants: DON'T SHOOT I CRIED pants: BUT THEN IT WAS TOO LATE pants: I HAD TO LICK ALL THEIR DICKS deuce: CHALLENGE ME TO A GAME OF NUTS

deuce: HANDS UP WHO JERKS OFF TO CHARLIZE THERON : PANTS SLOWLY RAISES HIS HAND deuce: T PANTS I AM CHARLIZE THERON pants: I SUCK COCK YOU KNOW deuce: I SEE

pants: CAN I GO DOWN INTO YOU deuce: YOU CAN GIVE ME HEAD pants: IS THAT THE SAME THING? deuce: FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS CONVERSATION AND ME GETTING A BLOWJOB: YES

pants: I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH deuce: I AM PARTICIPATING IN THAT UNPRECDENTED EVENT deuce: WHAT A MISSING E SOMEWHERE IN THERE pants: I WILL LEND YOU ONE: FFFFFFFFFFFF deuce: JUST NOT HELPFUL AT ALL

pants: I LOVE YOU deuce: IN YOUR OWN WAY

spigot: OKAY YOU PROMISED A TRIP TO THE DEANZA FLINT CENTER FOR A PERFORMANCE OF THE NUTCRACKER AND THIS IS HARDLY A SUBSTITUTE pants: IT'S ALL I COULD AFFORD

pants: HLGAHALGHLU AHGLUHGLAG deuce: BLAGHALUGAG HULBAGHAG pants: T DEUCE I WILL KONK MYSELF ON THE HEAD AND CALL MYSELF SILLY deuce: T PANTS CAN I ASSIST YOU IN ANY WAY pants: T DEUCE I CANNOT SEE (COCKBLIND) deuce: T PANTS COCKFLASH

spigot: CAN WE PLEASE ALL PISS TOGETHER ONE LAST TIME pants: A HOLIDAY FISTING

pants: BE SURE TO USE YOUR WIPERS BECAUSE IT'S SNOWING COOKIES

pants: ALUGHALGHLAGHLAHG pants: OH SO WE'RE DOING THE BLACK BACKGROUND FOR A WHILE pants: ALL RIGHT I CAN WORK WITH THIS

spigot: SERIOUS COCKS WAITING FOR ME IN THE STUDENT LOUNGE spigot: OKAY GUESS THE FLYER WAS A BIG JOKE spigot: GUESS I'LL TRUDGE ON OVER TO THE CAFE D'NUTS

pants: TSK TSK TSK

pants: PRICKS OF MASS DISTRACTION THAT'S FOR SURE pants: I SAID **DISTRACTION** pants: BOMB GOES OFF ALL LIFE EXTERMINATED DOMINANT POPULATION IS NOW RABBITS THERE IS NO GOD WE ARE ALL MULCH FOREVER

pants: DUMP NEEDS ATTENTION (TAPE POSITIONING ERROR): DO YOU WANT TO ATTEMPT TO CONTINUE? ("YES" OR "NO") spigot: T DEUCE CAN YOU REBOOT JERKCITY FOR ME (IT'S NO LONGER FUNNY) spigot: I.E. STUPID

spigot: CAUSE IF YOU LICK MY DICK spigot: MY ACHEY BREAKY DICK spigot: HELLO

spigot: BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP BEEP spigot: CAUSE IF YOU LICK MY D spigot: HELLO

spigot: ***GROUNDS*** FOR DIVORCE!!!!!! A HILARIOUS WEB-COMIC ALL ABOUT COFFEE AND WIFE-BEATING pants: USING AN OLD BOX-OF-WINE TO HOLD MY 5 1/4" DISKETTES pants: COFFEE IN ONE HAND AND COMIC BOOKS IN THE OTHER pants: I WILL BEAT YOU OFF OR DIE TRYING

spigot: BREAKFAST WITH IHOP spigot: A FLUFFY FOUR-STACK OF PIPING HOT GRIDDLECAKES spigot: AND REAL CREAMERY DONGBUTTER spigot: ***SCREECH*** SAY WHAT??????? CGI PENGUINS

spigot: NEED TO TAKE A SHIT spigot: NOT SURE IF I SHOULD DO IT ON THAT ONE LADY'S DESK spigot: OR THAT OTHER LADY'S FACE spigot: ASKING LADY 1 TO PUT HER FACE ON LADY 2'S DESK spigot: WELL NOW I DON'T HAVE TO SHIT ANYMORE spigot: WAIT HERE GOES spigot: SIGH!!!!! WHERE DID LADY 1 GO spigot: I CAN'T BE TAKING TWO SHITS, ONE OVER HERE AND WAY OVER THERE

pants: HOLD IT pants: HOLD IT pants: HOLD IT pants: HOLD IT pants: YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE

spigot: PLEASE SLIDE YOUR BALLS ALONG THE INK PAD AND TAKE A SEAT ON THIS CLEAN WHITE PAPER spigot: AND AGAIN spigot: JUST GONNA PUT MY FINGERS ABOVE YOUR DONG AND ROLL IT FROM LEFT TO RIGHT OVER THE SECOND INK PAD spigot: THERE WE GO spigot: NOW FIVE BRIGHT FLASHBULB PICS OF YOUR DONG AND DRAWING DICKS ON YOUR FACE spigot: YOU'RE FREE TO GO spigot: OOP, HOLD ON PUNCH POUND SQUIRT spigot: WE NEED TO START OVER

pants: THIS IS RADIO FREE JERKCITY COMING TO YOU FROM AROUND THE WORLD AND UNDER THE SINK pants: THIS STUFF IS BOTTLED AT THE SOURCE (DIAPERS UNDER YOUR DOCKERS) BRACE YOURSELF FOR THE POWER AND THE WISDOM (FISTICUFFS ENSUE) pants: TRY TAKING A PICTURE OF YOUR PENIS AND SAVING IT IN JPEG FORM (NOT TIFF, THAT'S TOO LARGE) AND THEN E-MAILING IT TO EVERYBODY (AS AN ATTACHMENT)

pants: IS THE JERKCITY ARTICLE DELETED YET deuce: DO I HAVE TO LOOK pants: NO NOT REALLY pants: WILL YOU HOLD MY HAND DURING CAPTAIN AMERICA

pants: KILL/SLF/DR HELP/ME/KILL/MYSELF GAS/CHAMBER AEIOUR/DAYS/QUESTIONSABLE EVERYY/WAKING MOMENT/IM/ALIVE MY/PRIDE/LOST I/CANT/GO ON/LIVING/IN/THIS/WAY KILLING/PEOPLE/I/HAV/KILLD pants: SO/MANY/PEOPLE/CANT/HELP/MYSELF M/SO/ANGRY I/COULD/DO/MY/THING/IM/ALONE IN/THIS/WORLD MY/WHOLE/LIFE FUL/O/LIES/IM/UNABLE/TO/STOP pants: BY/THE/TIME/YOU/SOLVE/THIS/I/WILL/HAV/KILLD ELEVEN/PEOPLE PLEASE/HELP/ME/STOP/KILLING/PEOPLE PLEASE/MY/NAME/IS/PANTS/FROM/JERKCITY

.(spigot): JUST GOING TO PICTURE A COLD TOILET SEAT

spigot: IS IT TWO CODEINE OR TWO HUNDRED CODEINE spigot: WITH MY NESTLE QUIK

spigot: I'M BUSY STUDYING UP ON THE HISTORY OF BLACK COCK

spigot: I DON'T HAVE A PRICK IN MY FACE PEOPLE spigot: [LONG PAUSE] spigot: THANKS FOR TRYING TO CHEER ME UP

spigot: WHAT I READ INTO THAT IS THAT SHE HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON ME AND SHE WANTS ME TO SLASH HER TIRES spigot: COULD I JUST GET MY POTSTICKERS MINUS THE INVOLVED POETRY SLAM spigot: THE OLD PAGE CAN BE FOUND HERE: _THE TOILET_

spigot: WHY ARE YOU BASHING MY HEAD/HAIR AGAINST THE WINDSHIELD OF MY NEWLY LEASED VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE?!?!?!?!?!?!

spigot: LET'S BREAK THIS UP INTO INDIVIDUAL DISCUSSION GROUPS spigot: HUR BUH DUH HURF BLUH GURF

pants: "MACY'S CONDEMNS THIS TYPE OF IMPROPER BEHAVIOR AND DOES EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO PREVENT IT. WHEN ANY ASSOCIATE OR CUSTOMER WITNESSES INCIDENTS SUCH AS THIS, WE URGE THEM TO REPORT IT TO STORE MANAGEMENT SO THAT WE CAN TAKE THE APPROPRIATE ACTION, INCLUDING ALERTING LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT." deuce: AHLGHALUGHUALGHLAG pants: HALGHALUGHALGHALG deuce: DID YOU BEAT OFF THERE AGAIN pants: BALGHLAGBLUAHGLAG

deuce: T SPIGOT GAPE LOVERS NO. 6 SCENE 1

deuce: I MASTURBATED spigot: WILL YOU ACCEPT THIS ROSE deuce: YES (BACK TO MASTURBATING)

deuce: CODENAME: PILE OF SHIT spigot: IS MY HIDEOUS FAT FACE A POWER OF 2 pants: HUGS FOR ALL

deuce: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF HELP ME deuce: FPTHHTHHHHH I'M COVERED IN DICKS AND THEY'RE SWARMING ME pants: CHOMP HORMPH HOAGHULAGHLAHGLAHGLAHGLAHLGUHALG YOU ARE SAFE deuce: T PANTS THANK YOU I AM FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT pants: UP UP AND AWAY

deuce: AN URGENT RUNNY SHIT INTERRUPTED ME pants: AND THEN THE SQUIRTING BEGAN deuce: INDEED IT WAS SQUIRTING AND BURNING, NO QUESTION pants: THREE WIVES SIX SHRINKS AND I STILL LOVE WHORES

pants: SUBDIVIDED INTO QUEER UNITS pants: FIDDLE WITH MY UNDERSIDES pants: SALIVARY GLANDS WORKING OVERTIME HUALGHA87GAYGHAG

spigot: AT FIRST I LIKED THE COCK-AND-BALLS GUN, THEN I LIKED THE PEW PEW LASER GUN deuce: ALL THE SAME GUN

pants: P I S S P I G S deuce: I PROCLAIM NO FOREKNOWLEDGE OF THAT MESSAGE

deuce: I'D LIKE TO SHARE MY DEEP PHILOSOPHY OF FREE SOFTWARE WITH YOU: FFHHHTH THTHTHH FHFH HUGE COILED SHIT FOR YOUR GAZE

spigot: ON THE COUNT OF THREE EVERYONE LICK DICK spigot: MEVER MINB

spigot: ANYONE HERE BEATING IT!!!!!!!!!!????? deuce: NO deuce: T SPIGOT YES spigot: ATE TOO MANY MASHED POTATOES spigot: NEED SOMEONE TO COME DOWN TO FAGTOWN AND HUG ME / HOLD ME

deuce: PLUTO AND ITS FAGGOT MOONS pants: GROSS GAY PLANETS

spigot: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT spigot: IT'S DAYLIGHT SAVINGS AND I MISSED ALL THE COCK BY EXACTLY ONE HOUR spigot: I'M GOING TO LEAVE A NOTE

pants: WHY I LICK DICK IN FIFTY WORDS OR LESS deuce: UNFORTUNATELY IT IS MERELY FIFTY REPETITIONS OF THE WORD "GAY"

spigot: A BIG DISCUSSION THAT LASTED LONG AND GAY AND FAT INTO THE NIGHT spigot: THERE WAS A LOT OF TOUCHING spigot: EVENTUALLY WE FIGURED OUT HOW TO INSTALL MICROSOFT PROJECT AND WE GENERATED A TIMELINE FOR MY BALLS

spigot: I CAN'T SEE THE FOREST FOR THE DICKS spigot: KINDA JUST WANT TO STICK WITH THE DICKS

pants: MINECRAFT.JERKCITY.COM pants: WATCH ME RUB POO ON THE WALLS, ON MY CHEST pants: THESE GUYS TRULY HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST AS THEIR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY

pants: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM pants: RELOADING pants: BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM

pants: I AM NOT A PLEASURE UNIT pants: BREAK BREAK pants: I'M SUCH AN UNHOLY MESS OF A GIRL

spigot: FAIL!!!!!!!! HE THREW A GUM WRAPPER AT THE TRASH CAN BUT IT BOUNCED OFF THE EDGE!!!!!!!!! FREEZE FRAME / GOOD WORK EINSTEIN spigot: FAIL!!!!!!!!!! A WORD SPELLED WRONG!!!!!!!! FAIL!!!!!!! IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK IF YOU SQUINT!!!!!!!! FAIL!!!!!!!! spigot: SOMEONE ON FACEBOOK SAID SOMETHING DUMB!!!!!!! FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL PREROLL VIDEO ADS FOR AN ANIMATED GIF YOU SAW 10 YEARS AGO

spigot: TEACH ME TO SQUIRT deuce: OH DEAR

pants: SERIOUSLY WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO WITH MY SUNGLASSES deuce: NO IDEA WHERE THEY WENT

pants: HALGHLUAUH GULAHGULHULAG LGHLAGLHALUGLAG CREEPER GBGHLUAGBLAGUH BLABGLBGAL

pants: AND NOW, A POEM: pants: BALLS ON MY CHIN pants: AGAIN

deuce: WHO WANTS TO JERK UNTIL THE MORNING SUN ?!?!?!?!? deuce: ARE YOU WITH ME PEOPLE ?!?!?!?!??!?!?! pants: SOILED spigot: I'VE ONLY GOT UNTIL THE MORNING LIGHT, THEN I DO DONGS AT DAWN ON KOFY TV-20 deuce: TRAITOR

pants: YOU ARE EATING ALL THE DOTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DEMAND AN IMMEDIATE REGURGITATION spigot: KAFF KAFF spigot: . . . . . . . . . . . pants: THANK YOU spigot: BLLLLLL

deuce: WILL THERE BE A PARADE pants: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED

pants: DID WE GET IT RIGHT net: I THINK SO pants: GREAT - THAT'S ONE FOR THE GODDAMN BOOKS THEN pants: FORWARD MARRRRRRRRCH

pants: GIVING MYSELF HEAD AT WORK DURING BUSINESS HOURS pants: MY NECK HURTS BUT GOSH I'M NEVER SITTING UP STRAIGHT AGAIN pants: SUCK THE DICK YOU FAT OLD MAN

spigot: I'LL BAKE CUPCAKES WITH FROSTING AND FLAGS TO PROTEST WHY BLACK PEOPLE HAVE TO SUCK DICK AT THE REAR OF THE STALL

pants: AND THEN THERE WAS SILENCE pants: FOLLOWED BY HLAHGULAUGH LAHLAHGLUAHG pants: AND THAT'S ALL THE NEWS WE HAVE TONIGHT

pants: I AM A GAY MALE AND I AM WILLING TO PROVE IT deuce: PLEASE CONTINUE pants: AND A ONE AND A TWO AND A HAULGHLAGLAHGLUAHGULAHGL deuce: VERY GOOD PLEASE CONTINUE pants: LIFT ME UP AND CONSUME THE CONTENTS OF MY GAY ADULT MALE DIAPER deuce: GAHLGHALUGHALUGHLAG

spigot: DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!!!!! MY BALLS ARE JUST FINE pants: T SPIGOT I THINK WE CAN FOOL HIM INTO DISROBING IF WE CALL THE WHOLE THING "A CONTEST" OR SAY THAT ANTIQUES AND BIRD FOOD ARE THE PRIZE OR WHATEVER

dick: LET'S PLAY HIDE AND GO RAPE deuce: LANGUAGE bung: HOW ABOUT HIDE AND GO FUCK YOURSELF

spigot: LET'S GET WOODEN NAPKIN RINGS AND REALLY LAY THE TABLE RIGHT

spigot: I REALLY JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO DEANZA AND GET MY DEGREE spigot: MY DEGREE IN COCKSUCKERY THAT IS

spigot: TIME FOR A TALL FROSTY GLASS OF SUDS AT CLUB QUEER - WHO'S WITH ME PEOPLE spigot: WE CAN LISTEN TO ERASURE ON THE RIDE OVER spigot: I DIDN'T WEAR THESE PANTS FOR NOTHING

spigot: GURGLING AND BUBBLING IT UP AND OUT THE MOUTH pants: BE GAY WITH ME deuce: DONE AND DONE

deuce: JERKCITY TWO THREE SEVEN, DESCEND TO FLIGHT LEVEL ONE SIX HUNDRED, EXPEDITE deuce: RECIPROCAL TRAFFIC, I REPEAT, DESCEND TO FLIGHT LEVEL ONE SIX HUNDRED, EXPEDITE deuce: JERKCITY TWO THREE SEVEN, PLEASE RESPOND deuce: JERKCITY TWO THREE SEVEN, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL deuce: [MUFFLED] I THINK WE LOST THEM

deuce: DIARRHEA TO THE FACE pants: E I E I O deuce: I WAS THINKING MORE "DOO DAH / DOO DAH" NOW THAT YOU PUT A BEAT TO IT

deuce: I WAS JUST MOVING SHIT AROUND SMACKED TWO SOY SAUCE BOTTLES INTO EACH OTHER AND MADE AN IMPRESSIVE GLASS-AND-SOY SAUCE MESS ALL OVER EVERYTHING

pants: PLEASE HELP ME TO FLOAT THROUGH THE AIR deuce: GLAHGLAHG pants: TIE A STRING TO ME THIS TIME deuce: I PROMISED TO INFLATE YOU WITH HELIUM OR SOME OTHER GAY GAS BUT THAT IS WHERE MY RESPONSIBILITY IN THIS MATTER ENDS

spigot: FZZZZZZZZZZZTTTT spigot: WOOD CHIPPER AND SPRAY OF CHIPS AHOY PARTICLES spigot: PARTICULATE MATTER IN A FINE MIST OF BARELY NOTICEABLE CHOCOLATE SHAVINGS

spigot: FOR GODS SAKE I NEED MY HEAD IN THE TOILET

pants: IT'S COLD AT THE WINDY BUS STOP pants: CLAMPING DOWN, NEVER LETTING GO pants: EVERYBODY INTO THE FISTING SLING

pants: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME NORMALLY WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS WIG, THIS HOOP SKIRT, THIS GIANT COMICALLY-SIZED HULK FIST deuce: THE MORE YOU TALK THE HARDER IT IS TO GET A BONER AND THE MORE I'M GOING TO MAKE IT HURT

pants: FANNYPACKS IN THE CASTRO!!!!!!! spigot: FOLKS I'VE BEEN DILDOED BY A NUTWAD

deuce: PENIS PUMPS pants: GODDAMN YOU

spigot: BONK BONK BONK BONK spigot: BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK spigot: BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK EH FUCK IT

deuce: COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR pants: ? deuce: COULD YOU SUCK ON MY LITTLE TINY PENCIL DICK pants: I CAN BE THERE IN 40 MINS, 30 IF I DON'T SHOWER deuce: I DON'T THINK A SHOWER IS NECESSARY SINCE I'M JUST GOING TO JIZZ ALL OVER YOU AND THEREBY MAKE YOU DIRTY pants: K

spigot: I JUST SHOWED MY NUTS TO JEAN-CHARLES AND HE DIDN'T THINK IT WAS SO FUNNY deuce: OH IS THAT BECAUSE HE'S FRENCH spigot: AND FAT, YOU KEEP FORGETTING deuce: RIGHT YEAH THANKS

pants: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP pants: SOME MANNER OF DICK-LOVING DUMPTRUCK I AM pants: ^C spigot: I'LL CATCH YOU

pants: I EAT HUMANS deuce: I JUST EAT THE HEADS

pants: OW deuce: WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOU GUYS PUT MY BRA spigot: KNOCK IT OFF

deuce: I WANT YOUR FULL AND UNDIVIDED ATTENTION deuce: WHOEVER STOLE MY BRA SHOULD REALLY RETURN IT RIGHT ABOUT NOW

deuce: HATE TO BOTHER YOU GUYS AGAIN deuce: BUT I'D REALLY LIKE MY BRA BACK deuce: BLHLBAHLABHLABLHABLHABHL

spigot: I'M GAY ALL OVER AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME

spigot: WHEN JERKCITY GOES DOWN DOES THAT MEAN I'M MAKING OR LOSING MONEY spigot: STUFF ME IN A CONFERENCE ROOM AND STRAIGHTEN ME OUT deuce: T SPIGOT AMBER LYNN !!!!!!!!! spigot: BORED OF HER FAT FACE, LAME EYESHADOW AND 80'S DEMEANOR

pants: HUBBLE MURFFF BUHHHHH HUB GOBBLE BLURP MMM DICK spigot: SLOPPY pants: THANK YOU pants: SALIVA EVERYWHERE

pants: SOME I EAT, SOME I LET GO pants: READY?????????????? GO!!!!!!!!!!! OH YOU FAILED pants: THE TYRANNY OF THE URINAL

pants: GIVE ME MY SOUL BACK dick: IT'S RATHER STICKY AT THIS POINT HOPE YOU DON'T MIND

pants: I'M DOCTOR PRICK pants: RX pants: CALL ME DOC DONG

spigot: CHOKING THEM ALL DOWN AT ONCE!!!!!!!! LIKE THE SIGN SAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: POKE POKE POKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE pants: MY ALONE TIME deuce: WHAM WHAM WHAM WHERE'S MY STATUS REPORT pants: NOTHING !!! I'M WRAPPING YOUR PRESENT !!! DON'T COME IN deuce: HURGLE BURGLE pants: THERE'S A BEE IN HERE !!!

spigot: WOMEN ARE NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: THEY CAN DO ANYTHING MEN CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: LET'S HEAR IT FOR PROSTITUTES AND HUMILIATING JIZZ VIDEOS

spigot: SUCKING YOUR OWN DICK IS HARD pants: THAT'S HOW I HURT MY BACK

spigot: I REMEMBER WHEN DEUCE USED TO BE FUNNY deuce: T SPIGOT NOW THAT'S JUST MEAN-SPIRITED MISTER

spigot: DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU'RE NOT A GIRL bung: T SPIGOT HI [NOT SURE]

deuce: YOU SAID THE MAGIC WORD dick: DO I WIN THE SPECIAL COCK?

deuce: TOUCH IT ALL pants: NO deuce: WHY NOT pants: AFRAID deuce: BE CALM, LITTLE ONE AND FUCKING TOUCH IT

pants: I SAID PELLEGRINO IN THE SMALL GLASS BOTTLES NOT THE MEDIUM SIZED PLASTIC BOTTLES spigot: THIS IS ***PERRIER*** ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND

spigot: FOLKS DID THE CUPERTINO SHOOTER KILL STEVE JOBS OR WHAT'S THE DEAL HERE pants: HORRIBLE BOSSES TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE EDITION EXTENDED CUT ON BLU-RAY DVD 10/11 spigot: NOT A LOT OF USEFUL INFO ON USENET / HAM RADIO pants: WHAT WE REALLY NEED ARE MORE PARODIES OF THE MATRIX

deuce: YEAH AND NEUTRINOS TRAVEL FASTER THAN LIGHT, SURE deuce: BULLSHIT HAX deuce: PLUS IF TRUE CLASSIFY TOP SECRET UNDER NSA

pants: OMG COCKHENGE pants: ALL THAT SUCKING AND FUCKING

pants: I SUCK COCK UNDER BRIDGES: PASS IT ON

pants: UNSUBSCRIBE deuce: DIARRHEA REDISTRIBUTION FOR FAIRNESS spigot: WE CAN'T ALL HAVE DIARRHEA

spigot: AM THE 99% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS, CONSCIOUSLY DETERMINED TO NEVER LEARN

spigot: HEY WHAT DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF: spigot: (TAKES SHIT ON YOUR DESK)

pants: EYEBROW JUICE pants: FANNYPACK FANNYPACK FANNYPACK pants: NUTS. TO. THAT.

pants: GULPING DOWN FAT SACKS OF SHITBALLS pants: INFLATE ME DIG-DUG STYLE deuce: SUCK BALLS pants: I LOVE YOU

spigot: FAGS? deuce: SEVERAL spigot: GROSS!!!!

pants: HEY I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D WATER ME SOMETIMES pants: ALSO WOULD IT KILL YOU TO PUT ME IN A SPACE WHERE I'LL GET SOME SUNLIGHT pants: AND ANOTHER THING [CONTINUES TO COMPLAIN] deuce: YES IT WOULD

spigot: IF I STAND ON MY HEAD I CAN JIZZ ALL OVER MY OWN STUPID FACE

pants: DONGS????????????????? WAY WAY WAY TOO EXCITED pants: FONZIE WITH OCD pants: TAKING UPSKIRT PIX OF THE BRIDE AT THE ALTAR (REALLY DIFFICULT TO GET UNDER ALL THE LAYERS OF GOWN)

pants: THESE BALLS AREN'T SO SCARY AFTER ALL pants: LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE SO CUTE AND OWWWWW GOD GET THEM OFF pants: OWWWWW CALL OFF YOUR BALLS WHOA HEY OWWWW

spigot: GET LAMP spigot: READ BACK OF LAMP spigot: PUT LAMP BACK ON BLOCKBUSTER SHELF

deuce: SPIGOT SUCKS COCK spigot: THAT'S GOING IN THE SCRAPBOOK

spigot: STOMPING YOUR THROAT MID SENTENCE!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

spigot: I'M A UNIX POWERUSER WITH A MOUTH FULL OF FUCKING BALLS

deuce: OH NO THE SPRINKLERS TURNED ON deuce: THEY CAUGHT ME

spigot: EMERGENCY PORN IN THE BOX spigot: CRITICAL LIFE-SAVING JERKABLES

spigot: SERIOUSLY WHO'S UP FOR HAM AT MY MOTHER'S HOUSE THIS EASTER spigot: DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T ENJOY HAM spigot: STAY BACK GET OFF HURFFFFFFFFFFF HURP HONK BONK

pants: BUT FIRST THE NEWS pants: IN TODAY'S HEADLINES pants: LKSDFJLSDF JSODF* AGLIHALG JO)&DFY YUAGHALG O*FY SOPDFHS (D*F HSODFBSL

net: MY JIZZ RESEMBLES MAYONNAISE WHEN SPREAD ON BREAD net: DO YOU THINK THAT'S CAUSE FOR ALARM? net: OK BRING ON THE BIG SLAPPITY DICKS AND FOAMY POO

spigot: ALL I REMEMBER IS HOW MY ASS AND MOUTH AND LEGS HURT AND THAT IT WAS TRUCK MONTH AT MY NORTHERN CALIFORNIA MAZDA DEALER

pants: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE deuce: THAT'S RIGHT BUDDY

spigot: BE GAY WITH ME ABOVE OVER AND ACROSS MY BALLS FACE AND HEAD AND REPEAT MY INSTRUCTIONS BACK TO ME deuce: T SPIGOT ACROSS AND OVER AND TOWARD AND HONK AND WAIT I GOT CONFUSED LET'S START OVER

pants: ARE YOU MEL GIBSON IN THE PATRIOT ??? deuce: I'M THINKING YES

pants: THE TASTE OF SEMEN AND THE CONSISTENCY OF A GARDEN SLUG?????????? pants: SIGN ME UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spigot: HARRIET THE FAT SPY spigot: I SPY PIE spigot: I SEE CAKES OVER THERE

spigot: WE NEED MORE AEROSOL FOODS AND WE NEED THEM AIMED AT MY MOUTH spigot: CAN WE GET A ROUND TABLE GOING ON THIS

pants: I AM ENTERING YOUR AIRSPACE deuce: I AM FEELING YOUR PRESENCE, TRACKING YOU ON RADAR DESPITE YOUR STEALTH CAPABILITY SINCE YOU ARE SHOUTING AND FLAILING LIKE A COCKSUCKER

deuce: SHUT pants: NO MOP IS SAFE FROM MY URINE

deuce: FINALLY SPIGOT'S GONE SO WE CAN REVERT TO OUR TRUE NATURE: deuce: CONTAMINATED PUDDLES OF SUPERFLUID LIQUID HELIUM

pants: SO UH pants: WHERE DO I END AND YOU BEGIN pants: THIS TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT MIGHT BE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO US

spigot: MY BALLS ARE AS BIG AS YOUR MOUTH deuce: YES deuce: YES THEY ARE

deuce: HEY IN STAR TREK WHEN THOSE GUYS ARE IN A SHUTTLECRAFT WHAT DO THEY DO IF THEY HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT deuce: I MEAN I CAN IMAGINE WHEN THEY NEED TO PISS THEY JUST SPRAY IT ALL OVER WORF BUT I MEAN WHERE CAN YOU SQUAT DOWN IN THERE

spigot: ALL THAT CURLY-BRACED JAVA / C / PERL / APPLESCRIPT / M4 CRAP CAN JUST GO RIGHT DOWN THE TOILET BECAUSE I HAVE IMPORTANT PANCAKES TO FLIP AND FLAP