pants: FUCK FIREWORKS deuce: WELL THEY'RE FUN IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE pants: AND OTHER THINGS THAT SCARE ANIMALS LIKE LOW-FLYING PLANES AND MY PRETTY PINK PRICK deuce: I WOULDN'T CALL IT "PRETTY" deuce: "VAGUELY PASSABLE IN LOW LIGHT" IS ABOUT THE BEST I CAN GIVE YOU

spigot: SURELY HIS MAJESTY MEANS CHICKS WITHOUT DICKS ??? spigot: SLUTS MINUS NUTS, YOUR GRACE spigot: WHAT / IF OUR PRICKS spigot: HAD / FUN LITTLE HATS

deuce: I'M PRETTY FUNKDAFIED PEOPLE spigot: IS THAT STREET LINGO FOR DRUNK deuce: NO, RICH spigot: RICH ON BEING DRUNK spigot: SOMETIMES I LIKE TO GET ALL MY PORN MAGAZINES AND VIDEOS AND STACK THEM ALL UP IN A BIG PILE JUST TO SEE HOW MUCH I HAVE

spigot: IN SOVIET RUSSIA CRAIGSLIST SCAM **YOU** spigot: OKAY TAKING A BONGHIT TO BE FUNNIER

pants: CLICK HERE TO GET THE PLUG-IN

deuce: DON'T TRY TO GET OUT OF THIS BY SHOWING ME YOUR BALLS pants: DUCKS ARE STEALING MY PENIS deuce: OKAY I'M GOING TO EXIT THIS CONVERSATION NOW pants: I AM BIG LIKE TUNA CAN pants: NUGGGGGGGH HULK WEAR CHAPS, VISIT BARS WITH FUNNY NAMES AND NO WINDOWS deuce: STILL OUT OF THE CONVERSATION

deuce: IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF QUICHE I'D BE A FISTING QUICHE deuce: I'M A DONUT HOLE deuce: GIRLS ARE FUNNY WHEN THEY CRY

deuce: I HOPE YOU PEOPLE HAVEN'T BEEN FUNNY WHILE I'VE BEEN GONE pants: SIR NO SIR pants: WE'VE BEEN PRETTY DROLL pants: CURRENT EVENTS, WORLD AFFAIRS, THAT SORT OF THING

pants: LOWER ME INTO THE DICK PIT PLZ pants: COME BACK NEXT WEEK AND CHECK ON ME pants: SERIOUSLY JUST GO pants: I'LL BE FINE HERE pants: THIS TIME I BROUGHT PLENTY OF SINGLES (FOR TIPS)

pants: PLEASE JUST LET ME BEAT OFF NORMALLY, JUST THIS ONCE pants: MAYBE I COULD MASTURBATE USING PORNOGRAPHY deuce: I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THE GUNFIRE AND INTERMITTENT, BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAMS deuce: AND ARABIC MUSIC pants: THOSE ARE ALL FINE, I'M REFERRING TO (UNSPECIFIED) pants: (FURTHER UNSPECIFIED)

pants: IT IS 1999 AND I AM MAKING WEB COMICS: I HAVE EATEN THE ENTIRE SLEEVE OF OREOS pants: IT IS 2024 AND I AM MAKING WEB COMICS: THE ENTIRE SLEEVE OF OREOS HAS BEEN EATEN spigot: ONLY YEGGS WHAT WENT TO COLLEGE UNDERSTAND THAT COMICS JOKE

spigot: ONE DAY COMPUTERS MIGHT FIT UP MY REAR END

deuce: I SEE YOU SUCKING pants: OH YOU DO NOT deuce: SORT OF, IT'S FUZZY DOWN THERE pants: (NOTICES GLORYHOLE) pants: OKAY YOU DO

deuce: EXCUSE ME SIR BUT I'M PRETTY SURE WHAT YOU'RE POKING AT RIGHT THERE IS MY CUNT AND NOT MY ASS

deuce: I'VE BEEN SICK YOU KNOW

pants: I WOKE UP TODAY AND IT WAS LIKE THIS atandt: THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING pants: SHOULD WE INVOLVE FEMA, OSHA, PETA, HOMELAND SECURITY, LINUS, THEO, U.S. REPRESENTATIVE EDWARD L. SCHROCK OF VIRGINIA, SPIGOT THE BEAR spigot: LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS pants: NOW WHAT DO WE DO atandt: 9/11 (NEVER FORGET)

deuce: GAY BUTT SEX PARTY

spigot: WELL THAT GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH spigot: :DARK_SUNGLASSES: spigot: GOT PROVOLOWNED

deuce: GAY RINGED ASTEROIDS

spigot: THAT WAS AN ADVENTURE IN THE TOILET pants: DID YOU DEFEAT THE TROLL IN COMBAT spigot: WHO PUT A PAMPHLET IN THE MAILBOX pants: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A TROLL IN THE BASEMENT spigot: I FOUND A SACK LUNCH AND ATE IT pants: HOLY CRAP THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF DOWN HERE

pants: HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY PANTS spigot: I DIALED 10-10-321 spigot: A GAGGLE OF FAGGOTY FAGGOTS pants: THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN THE DOVES CRY spigot: HURF HURF HURF HURF HURF HURF HURF spigot: SIR IN THE NEXT STALL ARE YOU MASTURBATING OR BEATING EGGS FOR AN OMELETTE deuce: TORA TORA TORA

pants: /O\ /O\ pants: \O/ /O\ pants: /OO\ deuce: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE WHERE'S THE FIRE BUTTON

spigot: SERIOUSLY IF ANYONE HAS GALAGA ROMS spigot: OR GALAGA DONGS (I CAN WAIT ON THE CURB)

spigot: OKAY I ACCIDENTALLY SAT ON A BAG OF EGG ROLLS pants: SAY IT ISN'T SO spigot: T PANTS "ACCIDENTALLY" THAT IS pants: HOW CAN I SUCK THIS DICK WITHOUT GETTING GRIME AND GRIT ON MY TEETH spigot: THAT'S WHY (SERIOUSLY) YOU SHOULD FORM A GAME PLAN pants: SCREAMING AT YOU FROM THE URINALS

spigot: T DEUCE SITTING DOWN WITH HR AND ARRANGING 21 DAYS IN REHAB TO RECOVER FROM A POV OVERDOSE spigot: ALSO I HAD A SPERM OVERLOAD A GANGBANG AUDITION AND A FACE FULL OF DIESEL

spigot: WHO CAN TURN A GAP spigot: INTO A GAPE

spigot: WHY HASN'T ANYBODY NOTICED NOBODY PAYS ATTENTION TO ANYONE ANYMORE deuce: YES DEAR I'LL TAKE OUT THE TRASH AFTER THIS GAME IS OVER spigot: DESTINATION: DONGS pants: CHRIST IS LORD pants: GET IT ON pants: TALK ME DOWN, TALK ME OFF spigot: I NEED MORE TO GO ON THAN JUST YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH

spigot: THROW A FUCKING PARADE PEOPLE

pants: T SPIGOT IS IT TOO EARLY TO PLANT MY BULBS spigot: YOU MEAN LIKE ON MY FACE

pants: I NOTICE NONE OF YOU EVEN BOTHERED TO TUNE INTO MY GARDENING LIVESTREAM pants: I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER pants: BOTH OF YOU MISSED OUT ON THE PLANTING OF THE ORANGE HAT TOMATO PLANT spigot: OH THAT WAS TODAY deuce: I WAS BUSY WASHING MY HAIR spigot: NO I WAS THERE JUST IN THE BACK

pants: LORDY deuce: GARDYLOO pants: WOT'S ALL THIS NOW deuce: COS GAY

spigot: THAT GARFIELD!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! ALWAYS IN THE LASAGNA!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! spigot: T PANTS I WANT HIM AND ODIE TO GET ALONG spigot: OH YEAH HE SLEEPS LIKE THAT pants: ZZZ

spigot: CAN YOU PUT ON AURORA SNOW GARKING IN THE BACKGROUND (QUIETLY) deuce: RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO BE DISRUPTIVE I JUST WANT TO ADD ATMOSPHERE

deuce: I LIKE THE WORD _GASLIGHTING_ SO I'M GOING TO USE IT EVERYWHERE pants: NO YOU’VE NEVER LIKED THAT WORD

deuce: COCKS pants: GASP deuce: COCKS pants: SWOON deuce: C O C K S (SUNG VERY HIGH) pants: APPLAUSE

deuce: I'VE GOT WESSONALITY deuce: HOLY HURRRRRRRRRR BHADBVLAHKR FVADH DFUBDFLBHDF deuce: BDFK;JBBJDAJKLBJL;DJKBDFJKBJK;FJDBJLSA deuce: GASPING FOR AIR deuce: BHABSDFBKADFBL BHADKLB DFBJDLBK DBJ DFB deuce: CALL THE POLICE THIS IS HURRRRRRRRRRRR deuce: BUMP BUMP BUMP FFFFFFFFFFFFF deuce: MEDIC

pants: FLUSHING MY DONG DOWN THE CRAPPER effigy: ...CALLING ROTO-ROOTER pants: REELING IT BACK IN WITH AN ALLIGATOR ATTACHED TO THE TIP pants: EATING IT, FLUSHING IT BACK DOWN FOR MORE GATOR MEAT pants: SOON IT WILL BE CHRISTMAS DAY

spigot: GAY ABOUT THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STARRING SPIGOT pants: I'VE SEEN THIS ONE spigot: LORDY

spigot: GAY ABOUT THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: STARRING SPIGOT spigot: BRING OUT YOUR DONGS

spigot: GAY AND ALONE spigot: AGAIN spigot: SO ARE WE HAVING BRUNCH OR NOT

pants: WHO WANTS TO BE GAY AT 300 BAUD (ALSO 1200, 9600, 14400, 28800, 56K)

pants: I AM WILLING TO BE GAY AT LOW, LOW PRICES

spigot: I SUSPECT I WILL BE FOUND GUILTY OF FIRST DEGREE DICKLICKING pants: YOU CAN'T SEND US OUT THERE WITH THAT GAY BAT FLYING AROUND

pants: HOLD VERY STILL THERE'S A GAY BEE BEHIND YOU spigot: T PANTS GET IT OFF ME *BEEP* spigot: *BEEP* spigot: *BEEP* pants: DON'T MOVE SERIOUSLY HE LOOKS REALLY GAY spigot: *BEEP* pants: IF I CAN CATCH IT I'LL PUT IT OUTSIDE

atandt: DONGS atandt: DONGS spigot: DONGS atandt: ARE WE A GAY BELL? spigot: I CAN ANSWER THAT WITH A TUG OF THIS CORD spigot: URMPH spigot: OW spigot: GLUGHLGUH spigot: I CANNOT ANSWER THAT

spigot: A COUPLA DOZEN COCKS AND PEOPLE WANNA LABEL YOU deuce: WILLINGLY TOUCH SOMEONE ELSE'S WIENER EVER: GAY FOREVER deuce: GAY BIT SET, CANNOT BE RESET pants: EVEN IN THE NEXT LIFE????????????????? YES

spigot: IF I CALL A GAY CHAT LINE CAN THEY SEE ME WITH THEIR GAY DICKS OR WHAT'S THE DEAL spigot: BECAUSE I'M A REAL WHIZ WITH DICKS pants: LET MY PEOPLE GO spigot: FUCK OFF

pants: T SPIGOT THIS CORN DOG YOU GAVE ME IS GAY spigot: T PANTS YOU DON'T USE IT LIKE THAT

spigot: I'M A GAY COW MMMMOOOOOOOOO URF HOMPH spigot: I BELONG IN A FAIRY DAIRY spigot: SOMEBODY MILK ME PEOPLE spigot: I'M UDDERLY QUEER spigot: HOW FAT ALL THE BLOGGERS AND SUICIDE GIRLS ARE

spigot: I WAS BANNED FROM THE CASTRO FOR GAY CRIMES I DIDN'T COMMIT

pants: I'M SOME MANNER OF GAY DINGUS deuce: I DON'T KNOW THAT WORD deuce: "GAY" spigot: UH deuce: WHAT DOES IT MEAN spigot: I USED TO THINK IT WAS AN ADJECTIVE BUT NOW I SEE HOW IT CAN ALSO BE A BIG FAT NOUN RIGHT HERE IN MY FACE AND DESK (PLEASE CALL MY MANAGER ASAP)

pants: I'M A GAY DINOSAUR pants: ROAR

spigot: GRABBING THE BLUE BULB AND SQUEEZING MEDICINES UP AND AROUND deuce: T PANTS DUDE IS HE LIKE GAY pants: HUHHHHHHHH SWIMMER'S EAR (FRANTIC) :Microsoft Chat [X] : /!\ The user pants is not connected. : [ OK ]

atandt: I'M SOME KIND OF GAY EMOTICON atandt: :-) deuce: :-0 --8 atandt: YOU APPEAR TO BE GAYER THAN I atandt: I DON'T THINK I CAN BEAT THAT

deuce: I'M A QUASI-STELLAR OBJECT

pants: I WAS LOCKED IN THE SPARE TOILET THE WHOLE TIME pants: WE'RE TALKING BRASS TALKS OR ELBOW GREASE pants: DESERVE VICTORY

: SPIGOT APPEARS IN A POOFY CLOUD OF GAY FATNESS spigot: DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA spigot: I HAVE TO GO NOW

atandt: PEOPLE atandt: MY FACE IS NOT A ZERO-SUM GAME deuce: T ATANDT YOU ARE CORRECT (I ALWAYS WIN) atandt: HOLY deuce: LET'S TALK GAY GAME THEORY

deuce: AM I STILL HERE deuce: AM I STILL ALIVE deuce: AND WHY pants: YOU ARE A GHOST deuce: PHEW pants: A GAY GHOST deuce: EXCUSE ME GHOSTS HAVE NO SEXUAL PREFERENCE pants: SOME GHOSTS ARE GAY pants: HURRRRRRRRRRRRK CHEST PAINS

pants: GAY GROPES deuce: LONGITUDINAL DONGS spigot: (LONG STREAM OF URINE) MY CLOUDFLARE RAY ID

spigot: I'M GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL WE'RE ALL GAY IN THE FACE spigot: HHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH HHHURP pants: OKAY OKAY RELEASE I'M GAY FOR GOD'S SAKE QUEER HERE

pants: I'M SORRY pants: I WAS TOO BUSY SMOKING DOPE AND GETTING HEAD deuce: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON spigot: T PANTS I TOLD DEUCE I'M STAYING HOME, HE'S GOT NO IDEA WE'RE GOING TO BE GAY IN THE PARK

pants: I'LL HAVE ME SOME OF THAT GAY LIME PIE PLEASE pants: MY BIG FAT FACE AND YOUR BIG FAT FACE AND OUR BIG FAT FACES pants: ARE YOU A FAGGOT.INI

deuce: GLGLHGHLGLHGLGGLHGLHGH GAY MARRIAGE pants: HUGALHLALGHALG TAX PURPOSES

atandt: THERE ARE A LOT OF COMICS ON THE INTERNET deuce: YES SIR pants: A LOT OF FAGS TOO pants: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT ??? deuce: THROW YOU AT THEM AND HOPE YOU DISTRACT THEM LONG ENOUGH FOR US TO ESCAPE pants: FAG

deuce: HI pants: HI pants: ARE WE TWO FAGS OR WHAT deuce: CUE GAY MUSIC

pants: THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN pants: AND ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND pants: WAIT I FORGOT TO FAG UP THAT PHRASE CAN THE EDITING BOYS PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER AND FIX THIS UP BEFORE SHOWTIME ??? GREAT !!! AHULGAHLAHG

spigot: AT A GAY OWNED BUSINESS IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY spigot: A GAY "BAR" IF YOU MUST spigot: WHERE I LICKED DICKS CHOKINGLY DURING MY MORNING SHIFT MWF

spigot: TO PROTEST REDDIT'S EXPENSIVE API I'LL BE HOSING ALL THE DOG SHIT OFF THE SIDEWALK AND HANDING OUT BALLOONS deuce: WHAT'S THE POINT OF GOING DARK IF YOU JUST SLINK RIGHT BACK LIKE ANYTHING'S CHANGED OR WILL EVER CHANGE spigot: I PUT THE DOG SHIT IN THE BALLOONS

spigot: I DON'T LIKE THE WAY GAY POLICEMEN HAVE ACCESS TO SEARCH WARRANTS

spigot: WELCOME TO WILD WILD CYBERSPACE spigot: PUNCHING YOUR THROAT pants: OUR RIGHTS ONLINE spigot: WHAT ABOUT GAY RIGHTS ONLINE spigot: GAY RIGHTS NOW pants: THEY MUST BE DEFENDED AT ALL COSTS spigot: GAY RIGHTS FOR EVERYONE spigot: GAY GAY GAY GYA GAY GAY $(*RG#(R)GJ spigot: URK pants: MAN DOWN

spigot: PISS spigot: HONK spigot: PISS spigot: HONK HONK spigot: PISS spigot: HONK HONK HONK HONK spigot: GAY SIGNALS pants: I SEE pants: ARE YOU A CRIP OR A BLOOD OR JUST A COCKSUCKER spigot: I

pants: BE GAY WITH ME NOW pants: HERE UNDER THE SINK pants: I WILL TIE A SPONGE TO THE PIPES SO WHEN YOU BANG YOUR HEAD IT HURTS LESS pants: PELEASE DO NOT EAT THE DISHWASHER DETERGENT pants: STOP PLAYING WITH THE ANT POISON AND PAY ATTENTION TO MY ATTENTIONABLES pants: LOVE ME HULRHLGHGLUHGLUHGULG pants: *BONK* OW OW OW pants: I SHOULD HAVE TIED THAT SPONGE UP THERE deuce: SEVEN WAYS FROM DONGDAY

net: GAY? pants: 500 OK

pants: GAYER THAN THOU deuce: PERHAPS deuce: PERHAPS NOT

pants: I AM GAYER THAN YOU SIR deuce: PROBABLY

pants: NO MATCH FOR "GAYNESS.ORG" deuce: HARD TO BELIEVE (THERE IS A LOT OF GAYNESS)

spigot: I CAN'T DECIDE IF I WANT GAYS IN THE CLERGY OR GAYS IN THE MILITARY!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I SURE AS FUCK WANT THEM OUT OF MY /LESBIANS DIRECTORY

deuce: GAYS IN THE MILITARY deuce: I LIKE THAT PHRASE FOR SOME REASON pants: I LIKE THE FIRST PART OF IT BUT NOT THE REST OF THE STUFF

spigot: FAT GEEKS!!!! spigot: GEEKS IN SPACE!!!! spigot: GRRL GEEK PATROL!!!!!!! spigot: TRYING TO TAKE BACK OUR DIGNITY BY USING THE WORD GEEK spigot: SADLY THIS BUS STOP WAS DISABLED THREE WEEKS AGO spigot: NOBODY'S COMING TO PICK ME UP IN THE RAIN spigot: INTERACTIVE CLICKABLE SHOCKWAVE CYBERTOONS?!?!?! spigot: COMMANDER TACO AND HIS GAMER GRRLS FIGHTING PLANET MICROSLOTH?!?!?! spigot: CHOPPING MY DICK OFF, STUFFING IT IN MY MOUTH spigot: FINGERS AND TOES TOO spigot: THIS STUFF PRACTICALLY WRITES ITSELF pants: TELL ME MORE, $NAME

spigot: PROUD TO NOT KNOW WHAT ANTIHISTAMINE IS OR DOES

deuce: I'M GENERATION Z (BORN RIGHT NOW TO MORONS) pants: COOING AT THE NEW BABY

spigot: this gender reveal is just you doing poos on my face spigot: plus you're on a ladder so they really land with a plap spigot: . spigot: . spigot: . spigot: . spigot: . spigot: plap

pants: t deuce when is your gender-fluid steampunk dungeon crawler going to be released it seems like forever since your kickstarter finished deuce: never suckers MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA deuce: running away with all the diamonds deuce: also the dungeon crawler is not itself gender-fluid, the _characters_ in it are (jeez)

spigot: WHO ATE THREE CARTONS OF PEANUT BUTTER ICE CREAM AND TOOK A DUMP ON MY BEDSPREAD

deuce: blackouts for three weeks, riots, general chaos ensues

spigot: DEFINE "SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT" LADY spigot: WHEN YOU SAY YOU'RE SEEKING A "GENEROUS" MAN DOES THAT MEAN I CAN BE GENEROUS WITH MY PRICK OR spigot: OKAY YOU MEAN MONEY

spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO CHOOSE STOP FROM THE BLOWJOB MENU dick: WHY IS IT GREYED OUT?!!!! dick: PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS AND DONGS INSIDE THE CARS AT ALL TIMES spigot: WHEN YOU CHOKE ME I BONK MY HEAD AND HIT THE SINK AND THE EDIT MENU FLASHES BRIEFLY TO PROVIDE GENTLE VISUAL FEEDBACK TO THE USER dick: YEAH GREAT BUT WHERE'S MY CRACK spigot: PATIENT DUMPING

deuce: I LIKE TO GO TO SPRINKLES AND WHISPER THE SECRET WORD TO GET A CUPCAKE deuce: SOMEDAY I'LL GO TO MAGNOLIA IN NEW YORK CITY!!! deuce: I'LL BE JUST LIKE THE GIRLS FROM SEX IN THE CITY

spigot: THEY'RE ALL "HEY IT'S SPIGOT IN THE GEO" spigot: AND I'M LIKE "HEY LADIES" spigot: THEN IT'S OFF TO THE PORN SHOP AND THEN FRY'S, THEN HOME FOR DOPE AND BED

deuce: MY GEO METRO STOPPED RUNNING COULD SOMEONE TAKE A LOOK AT IT pants: I WANT TO BE YOUR EASTER BUNNY

deuce: GEOLOCATE MY DICK pants: WHAT DO I WIN IF I FIND IT deuce: MY DICK

deuce: I'M AN EN-DASH deuce: USE ME SPARINGLY pants: I'LL JUST WEAR HIS SKIN THEN deuce: WHO YA TALKIN' TO

pants: T DEUCE WILL BRINE SHRIMP SURVIVE THE VACUUM OF MY BUTTHOLE deuce: UNCLEAR pants: WELL GET A FUNNEL

spigot: ARE WE WORRIED BONEQUEST IS GETTING A LITTLE PHALLOCENTRIC pants: PULLED PORK spigot: A GOFUNDME TO EXECUTE AND BURY US ALL IN A MASS GRAVE

pants: YOU ARE EATING ALL THE TARMAC deuce: THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I WILL BECOME STRONG (THINKING IT'S SPINACH) pants: THE POOP DECK IS FULL AGAIN deuce: GET A MOP (DO NOT PEE ON IT) pants: I PROMISE NOTHING : This is a true story.

spigot: SQUIRRRRRRRRRRRRRHURRRRRRRDGLPKTH deuce: GET A MOP spigot: I'M REALLY OKAY!!!!!!! spigot: HURRRRRRR BROOM HANDLE IN MY ASS AND MOUTH

pants: HORMPTH HOMPTH MORE TYLENOL WITH CODEINE #3 PLEASE

spigot: SEVERE DONGS POUND MOUTH, ASS OF CENTRAL VALLEY pants: DOES NETIQUETTE NOT APPLY pants: BEING BEATEN, RAPED IN PUBLIC TOILET pants: PLEASE PEOPLE PLEASE deuce: WRITE A FAQ pants: HOW CAN I WITH ALL THE POKING AND JOSTLING