pants: T DEUCE WHAT'S A BUTT HEN deuce: T PANTS WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME pants: T DEUCE WELL I SURE AS HELL DON'T KNOW deuce: I'M GOING TO END THIS CONVERSATION BY CASUALLY TURNING MY HEAD AWAY NOW pants: BUTT HEN deuce: WHO SAID THAT !?!?!? WAS IT THE WIND ?!?!?!?!?!??! pants: BUTT HEN (QUIETER) deuce: I CAN'T HEAR YOU ?!??!?! (pants): BUTT HEN

spigot: GAY I'M A PERSON WITH FEELINGS spigot: I MEAN I'M A PERSON WITH FEELINGS

deuce: BEAT ME OFF pants: RELEASE THE HOSTAGES FIRST deuce: NO PROMISES

deuce: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND pants: BUTTERFLY SOUP pants: THE DAMN THINGS WON'T HOLD STILL pants: FURTHERMORE I CAN'T GET THEM CANNED

deuce: BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP $10 deuce: I'M NOT EATING AT LEAST TWO OF THOSE WORDS

pants: BUY ME A PONY pants: PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY pants: PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY PONY

dick: I'M AN AFRICANIZED HONEY BEE !!!! ALL STARVING AND AIDSY dick: I'M A MEXICANIZED HONEY BEE !!!! TACOS Y TOSTADAS dick: I'M A GERMANIZED HONEY BEE !!!! ARBEIT MACHT FREI dick: I'M AN IRANIZED HONEY BEE !!!! MULLAH BIN KAFF GAG SAND dick: HALP

pants: ? (DUMB GUY VOICE) I SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FLY deuce: ? (CONTINUING DUMB GUY VOICE) BUT YET I DO pants: OH SHIT deuce: ????

pants: OH GOOD THE BUZZIES atandt: !!1 pants: OKAY THE BATS WENT AWAY atandt: SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY pants: BOY AM I TIRED OF TYPING deuce: GLHAGHLGAHLAG

pants: HAVE YOU EVER RETIRED A HUMAN BY MISTAKE deuce: NOPE pants: WELL, OKAY

spigot: PANTS WANTS ME TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE-- (spigot): WHAT WAS IT AGAIN (pants): THE RIOT SHIELDS IN COUNTER STRIKE spigot: PANTS WANTS ME TO ASK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RIOT SHIELDS IN COUNTER STRIKE (pants): ALSO TELL THEM DJ RAPEKIT ISN'T A NAME IT'S AN OBJECT

pants: HOW ABOUT pants: SHOW YOUR PUSSY TO THE WORLD pants: FOR MONEY deuce: WHAT THE ?!?!? deuce: T PANTS I FIND THE TERM "PUSSY" OFFENSIVE deuce: I MUCH PREFER "CUNT" pants: T DEUCE GIRL DON'T HAVE CUNTS (ANYMORE) pants: T DEUCE ME AND MY TEAM SEWED THEM ALL SHUT deuce: T PANTS BY SURGICAL MEANS OR BY ROYAL DECREE pants: T DEUCE THEY MUST MAKE DO WITH THEIR GASHES FROM NOW ON deuce: T PANTS SHIT THAT'S SOME SERIOUS WORK pants: T DEUCE WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT deuce: T PANTS WHEN DID YOU DO THAT ???? I THINK YOU JUST DREAMED THIS pants: T DEUCE SANTA CLAUS WAS BROUGHT IN FOR CONSULTING deuce: T PANTS 10-4

uncredited bunny: HEY MAN ARE YOU OKAY pants: THAT MOVIE WITH AL PACINO WHERE HE YELLS A LOT

deuce: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU deuce: AND A ONE AND A TWO AN

dick: SNEEZING SO HARD I'M GETTING DIZZY HERE PEOPLE dick: BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS I'LL ALREADY BE GAY dick: GUESS WHO'S NAKED deuce: LOOK WHO'S JERKING TOO

deuce: I'M A BYTE ORDER MARK deuce: USE ME WISELY

ozone: 8543515 BYTES RECEIVED IN 18.5 SECONDS (461904 BYTES/S) deuce: YOU KEEP SAYING THAT KIND OF STUFF ozone: WONDER WHY ALL THE 4.4 DERIVED CLIENTS GIVE BYTES/S deuce: I'M GAY ozone: WE KNOW deuce: JUST CHECKING

atandt: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN pants: I LOST MY LIGHTER atandt: BOYS AND GIRLS pants: IT'S ORANGE atandt: COLORFUL TWINKLING LIGHTS pants: IF YOU FIND IT LET ME KNOW (THANKS)

deuce: T PANTS THE STORE WAS OUT OF THE REGULAR BRAND OF CAT LITTER I USE SO I HAD TO GRAB THE PILE OF C. 1999 HUSTLERS AND SHRED THEM TO MAKE UP FOR IT, WRITE BACK

pants: MY CUNT IS FULL OF LADYBUGS deuce: YOU DON'T HAVE A CUNT pants: BUT pants: WHERE DID ALL THESE LADYBUGS COME FROM deuce: GHALGLUAGHULAG

spigot: PLEASE ADDRESS MY PENIS AS CRYPTO'S GOLDEN BOY

spigot: JOIN THE COMICS RETAILERS ARTISTS / PUBLISHERS WEBRING !!!!!!!!!! spigot: SIR THAT SPELLS "CRAP" AND HANGING UP NOW spigot: SQUEEZING, STARING

pants: T DEUCE GIVE ME HEAD IN THE SAUNA deuce: UMM pants: C'MON deuce: HMMM

spigot: did you know indonesia is at a crossroads spigot: it is

pants: WE HAVE TO **PICK UP ALL THE LITTER** AT **THE BEACH** pants: C'MON EVERYBODY!!!!!!!! pants: BLACK GARBAGE BAGS AND FLOPPY HATS pants: OVERALLS AND A STICK WITH A NAIL AT THE END pants: A HILL??????? GETTING BACK ON THE BUS TO THE DILDO POLISHING ACADEMY

spigot: QUITTING JERKCITY AND WAITING TABLES spigot: OUR SPECIAL TODAY IS MY PRICK IN YOUR FAT FACE WITH A CAESAR SALAD pants: WE ARE PREDICTING THIRD STAGE SHUTDOWN AT ELEVEN MINUTES THIRTY-TWO SECONDS

pants: I HAVE SEENDEUCE'S MANCUNT deuce: IT IS MADE OF CHEDDAR pants: VERY UPSET pants: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SWISS deuce: LET'S MAKE IT GOUDAAND CALL IT A WRAP

pants: call it friendo spigot: friendo is actually culturally insensitive, we prefer retardo (with a hard R) or fagface (with 2 long spluttery limpwristed F's)

deuce: I AM A STATIC_CAST deuce: PUNCH ME IN MY TITS AND CALL ME SALLY

pants: THESE BALLS AREN'T SO SCARY AFTER ALL pants: LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE SO CUTE AND OWWWWW GOD GET THEM OFF pants: OWWWWW CALL OFF YOUR BALLS WHOA HEY OWWWW

pants: OKAY IT TURNS OUT DRINKING OTHER PEOPLE'S BLOOD IS FRAUGHT WITH HEALTH RISKS AND ISSUES SO I'M GOING TO BE THE VAMPYRE THAT DRINKS DOUBLE ICED MOCHAS

pants: SENTENCED TO FIRST TIME ANAL deuce: CALLING ALL CARS, CALLING ALL CARS pants: SON OF A DICKS

spigot: HANDS UP WHO'S A FUCKING QUEER pants: QUEER HERE spigot: OKAY PEOPLE IT'S 4:30 IN THE MORNING AND I'M STILL A COMPLETE FAGGOT spigot: THIS BETTER WEAR OFF

pants: STOP CRYING !!! I TOLD YOU I WAS A COCKSUCKER FROM THE BEGINNING !!! YOU SAW THAT ISSUE OF MAXIM UNDER MY COUCH pants: YOU CAN WATCH ME LICK DICK BUT YOU HAVE TO STAY OUTSIDE THE STALL FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY !!! YOU COULD LOSE A LIMB BECAUSE I'M LIKE A MACHINE WHEN I GET GOING pants: I SAID STOP CRYING !!! JUST HOLD STILL AND LET ME GET DOWN TO BUSINESS !!! THIS TIME I'M ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN AND YOU'RE THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER

pants: I MISS MOM AND DAD pants: I HATE CAMP pants: OH HI deuce: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING IN MY BEDROOM

deuce: LOL @ HIV pants: DOO DAH / DOO DAH

spigot: LADY YOUR APARTMENT LOOKS LIKE A CHEAP HOLIDAY INN IN BAKERSFIELD pants: GIANT RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK WAREHOUSE FULL OF SOBBING ASIAN WHORES spigot: QUIET DOWN IN THERE WHOEVER YOU ARE (BANGING ON RANDOM CRATES WITH A FLASHLIGHT) deuce: CORNER OF HOUSE WITH CURTAINS DRAWN TO SEPARATE FROM OTHER CAMWHORES, REPEATEDLY STOPPING ACTION AND LOOKING OFF-CAMERA TO ARGUE WITH SIBLING/PARENT/PIMP

deuce: FUCKING SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE pants: CAN DO pants: WAIT I WASN'T TALKING pants: BUT I AM NOW pants: DARN

pants: T DEUCE CAN I EAT IT deuce: T PANTS YOU CAN TRY SIR

pants: CAN I CHOKE MYSELF???????????? pants: NOT EFFECTIVELY

spigot: :LOCK: THIS PENIS IS ONLY AVAILABLE TO SUBSCRIBERS spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW spigot: OW OW OW spigot: CAN I CALL YOU BACK I'M GETTING A BJ FROM A LANGOLIER

spigot: I HAVE LEARNED THE VALUE OF SIMPLY BEING MYSELF spigot: CAN I COME BACK TO THE GAY CLUB OR HAVE I BEEN EXCLUDED

deuce: CAN I GO NOW pants: NO deuce: FINE deuce: (FROWNS, FOLDS ARMS)

spigot: CAN I PLEASE JOIN YOU GUYS IN STALL 2 spigot: I BROUGHT CONDIMENTS spigot: SOME A-1 AND MUSTARD AND SO FORTH spigot: PLUS SOUR SAUCE

pants: NOW YOU GOT THE JUICE

pants: DO WIENERDOGS EVEN HAVE WIENERS pants: WHAT PART DO I SUCK, THE WIENER PART OR THE WHOLE THING OR pants: PLEASE SEND THE NATIONAL GUARD

pants: I CAN'T SEE pants: SEND THE NATIONAL GUARD pants: JUST DON'T THROW ME IN THE BRIAR PATCH (MMMM YEAH SO CRUISY MMMMM DUH MMMM MOO MMMMMM)

spigot: I OPENED THE FRIDGE AND A CAN OF SODA ROLLED OUT AND HIT THE FLOOR AND NOW I KNOW HOW MY PENIS FEELS

spigot: CAN WE AFFORD NOT TO SUPPORT CLONING PROSTITUTES

deuce: CAN WE ALL CHOKE IT DOWN OR NO spigot: I VOTE WE CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: CHOKE IT ON DOWN spigot: THAT IS

spigot: CAN WE DO A KICKSTARTER TO TEAR DOWN THE OATMEAL'S TESLA MUSEUM

spigot: CAN WE HOLD HANDS AND PROCLAIM WE'RE AN OPEN SOURCE COMMUNITY spigot: DICKS THEN spigot: ?!?!??!?!!?!?!

spigot: CAN WE JUST NOT FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOG AND THE CAT ANYMORE pants: I WOULD LIKE SOME PIE PLEASE spigot: SOILING MYSELF spigot: ME AGAIN pants: I SAID PIE IT'S LIKE YOU PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN

spigot: CAN WE JUST SAY I HAVE COMBINATION SKIN AND LEAVE IT AT THAT spigot: HELLO spigot: LOOKING FOR GAY GAGS AND QUEER ZINGERS spigot: SENSING A LITTLE JUDGEMENT FROM YOU HOMOPHOBES spigot: HOMOPHOBES ARE WORDS WHICH SOUND THE SAME BUT ARE SPELLED G-A-Y

deuce: ABHGLBHALUBHGABH deuce: CAN WE LICK IT ??!?!?! pants: YEAH HUALGHLAGHLUAHG deuce: OR DO WE HAVE TO SUCK IT AGAIN pants: DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU TO DO

pants: can we peek in the box to see if the kitty is okay deuce: if you do then you will destroy the Universe

deuce: CAN WE TALK? spigot: ABOUT DICK deuce: THAT'S ALL IT IS WITH YOU

pants: T DEUCE CAN WORDS MAKE WISHES COME TRUE deuce: T PANTS IN SOME CASES, YES deuce: FOR INSTANCE: "DON'T TELL YOUR PARENTS OR I'LL KILL YOU"

spigot: CAN YOU BELIEVE WE KILLED COMMANDER Q'UACKIM SALAMI AND K'OTAKU AL-HULLABALOO

spigot: I WAS TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT IF I COULD THAT I NEVER STOPPED TO THINK IF I SHOULD deuce: THAT KIND OF CRAP IS EXACTLY WHY I'M LEAVING THE INTERNET FOREVER !!!!!! pants: WAIT STOP pants: JEAN-CHARLES NO pants: OH TOO LATE pants: DOWN HE GOES

spigot: JERKCITY.CGI WAS NOT FOUND ON THIS SERVER pants: HELLO spigot: HYPERVENTILATING pants: IS THIS THING ON spigot: CALLING THE ENCLAVE pants: HELLLLOOOOOO

deuce: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT??? deuce: [REFERENT NEVER SPECIFIED]

pants: I LOVE YOU pants: WHICH IS WHY I'M NOT GOING TO EAT YOU pants: FOR NOW

spigot: T DEUCE HOLD THIS CUP WITH A STRING ATTACHED spigot: CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP WALKING ACROSS THE STREET spigot: CAN YOU HEAR ME HELLO deuce: BALLS pants: WATCHING AND WONDERING

spigot: HONEY CAN YOU JUST TURN AROUND AND NOT LOOK AT KEEP THE CRYING DOWN pants: HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF I SAID DON'T LOOK

spigot: T PANTS CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET (T DEUCE TOO I GUESS) pants: T SPIGOT OKAY deuce: YES spigot: _I REALLY AM BUTTMAN FOCUSED_ deuce: GOOD TO KNOW deuce: FLUSHING MEMORY spigot: LOL!!~~~~~~~~J/K HAPPY 2017 EVERY1

spigot: WHY DIDN’T BIG BIRD JUST SHOOT MR. SNUFFLEUPAGUS

spigot: THAT'S A COCKADOODLE CAN-DO spigot: <!-- BEGIN HIDING SPIGOT FROM NON-JAVASCRIPT ENABLED BROWSER>/HREF

atandt: LOOKING FOR SOME SYMPATHY HERE (BALLS) atandt: IF I CAN'T BE IN THE CLUB I'M GOING TO *HUFF* atandt: COCKS

pants: T DEUCE IS BOFFIN-ROCK THE SAME THING AS POST-DUBSTEP deuce: CAN'T BEAT OFF WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME (IT TRIGGERS A GUI NOTIFICATION)

pants: BUTTER ME UP deuce: SMEAR ME WITHMARGARINE(BUT NOT BUTTER) pants: T DEUCE NOBODY SUCKS DICK IN THE BATHROOM IT WAS ALL A CLEVER RUSE deuce: YOU WEREDEAD THISWHOLE TIME pants: BE GOOD TO ME deuce: NEVER

spigot: CAN'T DO IT pants: C'MON pants: OUR FOREFATHERS pants: ETC

pants: IT WAS YOU pants: GODDAMNIT pants: THIS WHOLE TIME pants: CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT pants: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING pants: HOW COULD YOU pants: I FEEL BETRAYED AND AROUSED pants: BUT MOSTLY BETRAYED!!!!!!!! LET'S NOT GET OFF TRACK HERE

spigot: IT'S 9/11 ALL OVER AG **KA-BLOOM** spigot: CAN'T EVEN FINISH A SENTEN **KA-BLAM** spigot: MAYBE IF I STAND VERY **KA-BLOOM**

spigot: BOO deuce: OH SHIT THE GHOST deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: CAN'T GET AWAY deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: RUNNING INTO WALLS NOW deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: FLAP FLAP FLAP deuce: FLAPPITY FLAP FLAP

spigot: T DEUCE I ALSO THINK YOU ARE NEAT AND I HAVE LINKED YOUR BALLS PERMANENTLY TO MY MOUTH AND FACE (SO I CAN'T GET AWAY OR DO WORK) deuce: T SPIGOT WOULD YOU LIKE A BARTLES & JAYMES WINE COOLER ?????????????????????

pants: i can't piss with you watching deuce: that's not what my archival footage shows

pants: PLEASE FAV ME deuce: UNSUBSCRUBE pants: FINE pants: CAN'T REMEMBER IF I'VE ASKED THIS BEFORE SO IGNORE ME IF I HAVE: PLEASE FAV ME deuce: UNSUBSCRIBE

pants: I CAN'T SEE GIFS OR JPEGS spigot: REBOOT YOUR BROWSER !!!!! pants: MY SCREEN IS GAY AND DUMB spigot: REBOOT YOUR ROUTER !!!!!! pants: IT'S BLINKING AND SPLURTING spigot: REBOOT YOUR MACHINE !!!!! pants: IT'S SPLURKING AND SPLORKING spigot: REBOOT YOUR CAR AND DRIVE AWAY !!!! pants: I JUST PLOWED THROUGH NINE DAY CARES spigot: REBOOT YOUR LIFE USING A FAKE NAME !!!! pants: WHAT ABOUT MY FREQUENT FLYER MILES ??? pants: AND MY SAFEWAY REWARDS CARDS ??? pants: AND MY ANYTIME MINUTES ?????? pants: AND MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY PLUS POINTS ????? spigot: OKAY BYE

spigot: I CAN'T SEE THE FOREST FOR THE DICKS spigot: KINDA JUST WANT TO STICK WITH THE DICKS

pants: LEMME AT 'IM pants: I'LL MURDERIZE THEM ALL pants: WHY I OUGHTA

net: REALLY CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS LICKING deuce: T NET OH I THINK YOU CAN deuce: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL deuce: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL deuce: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL deuce: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL net: OK A LITTLE MORE THEN

deuce: can't tell whether a piss fetish is more or less gross than a foot fetish pants: that's a tough one

pants: CAN'T WE JUST spigot: POKE CHOKE SOAK REPEAT / POKE CHOKE SOAK REPEAT pants: PLEASE IF YOU spigot: I CAN'T HEAR YOU pants: GET OFF ME

pants: T DEUCE LET'S DIG A HOLE, CLIMB IN AND BUTTFUCK

pants: CANADIAN BONERS TASTE LIKE MAPLE FOR SOME REASON deuce: IT'S THE RED POINTY THING ON THEIR FLAG pants: MMM MAPLE

pants: DID I MISS SMOOTH BUDDY WEEK AGAIN

atandt: MARRY ME deuce: NO atandt: CANCEL deuce: YOU'RE NOT JEWISH atandt: DOES BEING CIRCUMSIZED COUNT deuce: IF THAT WAS TRUE, WE'D ALL BE JEWS

deuce: T SPIGOT DO YOU THINK KAIYA LYNN KNOWS AMBER LYNN OR GINGER LYNN spigot: I CANCELLED MY SUBSCRIPTION TO ALL THE LYNNS STARTING WITH PORSCHE

spigot: EVEN OP'S CAT IS A FAGGOT

dick: BONER CANCER!!!!!!! deuce: ELFQUEST ?!?!?!?!!?!?

atandt: AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO MOVE "BIG FAGGOTY DICK PART III" TO A FALL RELEASE pants: I AM BOTH OUTRAGED AND SADDENED pants: YET I AM ALSO AROUSED AND ERECT atandt: HERE IT COMES pants: I AM ENGORGED WITH BLOOD pants: RELEASE THE DOGS OF WAR OR WHATEVER IT IS WE DO AROUND HERE

spigot: MY BONER WAS MANY THINGS TO MANY PEOPLE spigot: BUT REALLY I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT HOW GAY THINGS GET IN STALL 4 pants: HOW GAY IS IT spigot: I MEAN BREAKFAST CANCER OR WHATEVER pants: SO GAY THEY SERVE HAPPY MEALS

spigot: WHEN YOU SAY “THE CLOUD” DO YOU MEAN BEATING OFF FOR 72 HOURS STRAIGHT BECAUSE OF THE COKE DICK spigot: I’LL TAKE MY ANSWER NEVER pants: CANCER STICKS spigot: THE IDIOT BOX pants: THE OL' BALL AND CHAIN spigot: THE SPERM BANK UPSTAIRS spigot: COCKSUCKING INTHE DATACENTERS(PLURAL) pants: WELL YA GOTTAHAVE MULTIPLEDATACENTERS

deuce: FIRST QUESTION RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE: "WHAT IS THE LIMIT AS X APPROACHES 0 OF SINE OF X DIVIDED BY X" deuce: SORRY, THAT'S INCORRECT deuce: THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, BUT I'M AFRAID WE'RE AN ALL-CALCULUS CANDLE SHOPPE HERE

pants: IT IS LATE deuce: YES deuce: YES IT IS pants: SOON I WILL BE A GREAT BIG FAGGY PUMPKIN (MIDNIGHT) deuce: HOLY GOD PLEASE SAY IT ISN'T SO (CARVING YOU, PUTTING A CANDLE INSIDE YOU) pants: URP pants: I AM BEING CANDLED deuce: (BUSY CANDLING YOU) pants: WICK END UP PLZ deuce: THAT'S MY FUCKING DECISION (CANDLING)

atandt: T SPIGOT WHY ARE YOU STILL UP spigot: CRUISING FOR PRICKS, CURLY FRIES atandt: JOLLY GOOD