pants: AS SOMEONE WHO HAS USED THE WEB SINCE 2007, spigot: IS YOUR DOG HAVING A HOPPY HOWL-OWEEN pants: SUCKING DICK AT THE DONUT WHEEL, NEXT 40 MINUTES spigot: :NOTES: SUCKING DICK AT THE DONUT WHEEL :NOTES:

deuce: CHOKING ON MY OWN TONGUE ASMR 10 HOURS L@@K pants: BOY AM I L@@KING pants: A NEW LIFE AWAITS YOU IN THE OFF-WORLD COLONIES deuce: ARE YOU AWARE THE TERM "BLADERUNNER" WAS COINED BY ALAN E. NOURSE AND THAT THE "BLADES" BEING "RUN" WERE IN FACT SMUGGLED MEDICAL INSTRUMENTS deuce: AND THAT WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS BUILT ON THIS IDEA FOR HIS NOVELLA AND HE'S THE ONE WHO FIRST SEPARATED THE TITLE INTO THE WORDS "BLADE" AND "RUNNER" deuce: AND THAT THE ADDITION OF THIS SINGLE SPACE BETWEEN THE TWO WORDS WAS ENOUGH TO INSPIRE RIDLEY SCOTT IN 1982 TO SECURE THE RIGHTS TO THE SHORT STORY "DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP" BY PHILIP K. DICK WHICH HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH BLADES, RUNNING, MEDICAL INSTRUMENTS OR DICKS EITHER YOU ARE OR ARE NOT AWARE OF THIS

deuce: BLAM deuce: OR PERHAPS deuce: FWOOMP deuce: AS YOU ARE ENGULFED IN A BLANKET OF DICK

pants: PRETTY SURE I DON'T EXIST pants: WHO ASKED THE SUN TO COME UP ANYWAY pants: WE GOT GHOSTS HERE pants: I CALL IT STUFF FALLS ON THE FLOOR AND BLAME THE CATS pants: MOSTLY I TURN UP THE STEREO, THE FURNACE pants: IF YOU SPIT IT OUT ON MY STOMACH pants: I'M GOING TO MOP IT UP WITH YOUR HAIR pants: EVENTUALLY I'LL FIND THE RADIO IN YOUR HEAD HOLD STILL

spigot: GUHHHHHHHHH deuce: MOON BASE PAINFUL

pants: 3 pants: 2 pants: 1 pants: BLAST OFF HGLAHGLUAHGLUAHGLAG pants: sorry for the spam

spigot: I WONDER IF I GOT A COLLEGE DEGREE AND ROLLED IT UP INTO A TUBE AND SET IT ON FIRE I COULD BLAST OFF TO MARS!!!!!!!! spigot: OR PUT DOPE IN IT!!!!!!!!

deuce: I SNEEZED pants: BLESS YOU deuce: THAT'S NOT HOW YOU BLESS SOMEONE pants: HOLD STILL

spigot: I KNOW MY MIC IS ON FUCK YOU (TINKLE SOUNDS)

spigot: GLORP BLGK YOU CALL THIS THRIVING IN CHRIST

spigot: WHY CAN'T I BACKSPACE OR ^R? deuce: BECAUSE OF THE LOVE WE FEEL FOR EACH OTHER deuce: ALSO BECAUSE I AM HOLDING YOUR HEAD UNDERWATER spigot: BLHGLHB spigot: SPLUTTERY SOAP SUDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: GLUBGLUBHGLUB deuce: GET BEHIND YOUR EARS

pants: BLIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: MORE OF A ZEPPELIN REALLY pants: EVEN SO... pants: EITHER WAY: pants: BLIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pants: I CAN'T SEE (BLIND FROM THE DIZZY) spigot: THE SAME THING HAPPENED WITH ME !!! ONLY I WASN'T AT WORK spigot: I WAS GRABBING COCKS THROUGH THE GLORYHOLES AT A CONTRA COSTA COUNTY ADULT BOOKSTORE spigot: NOW THAT BRINGS ME WAY BACK spigot: HOLY CRAP PLEASE NOT THAT FAR BACK spigot: HURTING spigot: CHOKING ON MY OWN EMBARRASSMENT pants: THEN WHAT HAPPENED spigot: WISH I COULD DRIVE MY VAN BACK TO THE YMCA AND FILL IT WITH BOYS

net: WHAT'S A BLING BLING deuce: IT'S WHAT I DO TO YOU WHEN YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUS net: I'M REALLY TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU DO TO ME WHEN I'M UNCONSCIOUS deuce: IT'S CLASSIFIED

spigot: BLK BLK BLK ASMR DICKLICKING spigot: (COCKSUCKING)

spigot: SITTING ON THE TOILET AND LETTING LOOSE WITH A BLOG TORRENT deuce: BRITISH FOLKS CALL TOILET PAPER A "BLOG ROLL" pants: AND WHEN WE SUCK EACH OTHER OFF AND SPIT THAT'S A "TRACKBACK" pants: WAIT YOU FORGOT TO TRACKBACK

deuce: FURRY BLOGGERS deuce: DIAPER FETISH BLOGGERS deuce: POLITICAL BLOGGERS <-- PUNCHLINE pants: BUT I

deuce: I tweet my shits deuce: I keep a log of logs deuce: blogging and vlogging while I log my logs spigot: turns out guys can squirt

pants: THERE'S BLOOD ON THE WALL pants: SO WHAT pants: THERE'S BLOOD ON THE WALL pants: BLOOD ON THE WALL pants: SHUT UP pants: GET UP pants: SHUT UP pants: THERE'S BLOOD ON THE WALL pants: THERE'S BLOOD ON THE WALL pants: THERE'S BLOOD ON THE WALL pants: THERE'S BLOOD ON THE WALL

pants: HELP ME UP deuce: I WILL DO NOT SUCH THING UNTIL YOU SIGN THIS WAIVER pants: HERE HERE HERE HERE AND INITIAL HERE ????? deuce: AND I'M AFRAID WE'LL NEED A BLOOD SAMPLE pants: ALSO HERE OOHH HLUAGHLBAG BULGG HBLUABAG SECRETLY SPURTING

spigot: tfw you suck dick and die spigot: literally one for the ol' bloopster reel

spigot: OH GOD A TROPICAL BIRD FLEW UP MY NOSE AND NOW I'M TOUCAN SAM deuce: HASSAN CHOP spigot: AM I BEING DETAINED :PARROT: spigot: :RAINBOW: :PARROT: BLORF

spigot: XXXX blow a load on my face hooman

pants: I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT pants: WHOEVER CLEANED THE BONG DID A NICE JOB EXCEPT THERE IS TOO MUCH LIQUID INSIDE AND I AM GETTING BLOWBACK deuce: T PANTS WOULDN'T THAT BE YOU pants: T DEUCE DO NOT BE INSULTING (CLEARLY AN AMATEUR IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WATER LEVEL)

pants: IS BLACK FISTING FRIDAY A COMPANY HOLIDAY OR NO pants: "FAT RAILS" STARRING DEUCE AND SPIGOT pants: "PLENTY OF FIBER AND EARLY TO BED" STARRING PANTS

spigot: I HAVE BEEN BLOWING AND TWEETING MY GAY RAVE WHISTLE FROM STALL 2 FOR NEARLY THIRTY MINUTES pants: WE COULD HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY OVER BY THE VOLLEYBALL AND TENNIS COURTS

spigot: IS PANTS BACK FROM THE BLOWJOB FACTORY YET???????? spigot: I MEAN DENTIST ozone: I THOUGHT HE WAS AT THE BONG INSPECTOR'S OFFICE spigot: AN UNAUTHORIZED VISIT TO THE BONG INSPECTOR??????? TO THE BATCAVE spigot: SPINNING LOGO spigot: AS YOU CAN SEE, THE BONG WORKS LIKE SO deuce: IS THIS THE STYX REUNION

spigot: BLOWJOBS AND BONGHITS AT FOUR PM???? pants: MAKE IT FOUR TWENTY!!! pants: HMM spigot: HMM pants: OKAY HANGING UP NOW spigot: BYE deuce: MEANWHILE, THREE HOURS LATER pants: BRRRRRING BRRRRRING BRRRRRRRRRRRING BRRRRRRRRRING BRRRRRING spigot: WHAT pants: WELL????? spigot: WELL WHAT pants: I'M ALONE IN THE STALL spigot: OKAY pants: WITH MY DICK OUT spigot: SUPER pants: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BLOW ME AT 4:20 spigot: I DID!!!! spigot: I BLEW YOU OFF

deuce: YE NO spigot: NMAYBE

spigot: I'M A BLUE-CHIP DICKLICKER pants: I'M SIMPLY A BLUE-COLLAR COCKSUCKER

pants: WHAT COLOR IS THE SKY IN YOUR WORLD deuce: BLUE pants: SAME HERE!!! LET’S BE FRIENDS

spigot: I'M NINETEEN AND THEREFORE FIGHT CLUB IS THE GREATEST UNDERGROUND CULT MOVIE EVER!!!!!!! spigot: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BRAZIL AND CLOCKWORK ORANGE AND BLUE VELVET AND THE CROW

dick: THERE ONCE WAS A HERMIT NAMED DEUCE (PLEASE FINISH) deuce: SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING GOOSE deuce: BLUH BLAH DICKS deuce: BLAH BLUH PRICKS dick: PLZ PUT JEWS IN THERE SOMEWHERE

spigot: BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY BLURKLPTH SORRY

: WED JAN 18 2008 : PANTS: WE CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO : PUBLISH ON TIME EVERY DAY : PANTS: WE SHOULD CHECK ALL THE : BATTERIES IN THE SMOKE ALARMS : PANTS: THIS IS A MERRY PICNIC WE ARE : HAVING pants: WE CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO PUBLISH ON TIME EVERY DAY pants: WHAT IF WE NEED TO SLEEP IN, BEAT OFF, PASS OUT, RECOVER THEN BEAT OFF SOME MORE ????????? pants: WHAT IF

deuce: haha who downloaded a Bob Lazar movie pants: what's that deuce: a UFO bullshitter pants: I'd Google it but I honestly forgot how to switch windows so I live here now deuce: well then settle down, I'll make you a cup of hot cocoa deuce: (loud farting sounds off-camera) pants: also a blanket pants: a big strong fireman

deuce: BOBA FETT IS DEFINITELY SUCKING ME OFF THROUGH THE GLORY HOLE deuce: MAYBE IT'S JABBA THE HUT deuce: IT'S HARD TO TELL WHEN ALL YOU HAVE TO FEEL AROUND IN THERE IS YOUR DICK

pants: JUSTIFY MY LOVE (FOR DICK) deuce: POP pants: PONK (pants): PLOP pants: GORT pants: GLUG pants: CLOG deuce: IS THIS BOGGLE

spigot: TO MAKE SOMETHING BOLD I USE THE BOLD TAG deuce: I'VE FOUND THAT ITALIC IS USEFUL TO MAKE THINGS LOOK SLANTY

spigot: THERE IS LIFE IN THIS STALL spigot: CLEARLY

deuce: CALLING IN A BOMB THREAT pants: FAG deuce: I PREFER THE TERM "HOMO"

deuce: WORDS FORM IN MY HEAD AND I TYPE THEM HERE deuce: FOR THAT I APOLOGIZE deuce: USE THE CODE `BONEQUEST2023` AT CHECKOUT FOR 15% OFF ALL FRESH DILDOS

atandt: IS THIS THING ON atandt: WELCOME TO BONEQUEST atandt: BONEQUEST IS ENJOYED BY THOUSANDS OF READERS DAILY atandt: THE FIRST STRIP WAS PUBLISHED ON AUGUST 17, 1998 atandt: THE STRIP FEATURES MYSELF AND OTHER CHARACTERS HAVING ADVENTURES atandt: FOR MORE INFORMATION, WRITE TO ROOT@ BONEQUEST.COM atandt: THIS CONCLUDES OUR BROADCAST atandt: I'LL JUST FONDLE MYSELF IN THIS LEFTOVER PANEL

pants: WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER deuce: I WOULD SUCK CHURCHILL OFF IF HE WERE A REAL PERSON deuce: WHO SAID THAT NOT ME THAT'S WHO

spigot: art is for fags

pants: please finish jacking me off before you jack off a totally unrelated dick (or series of dicks)

deuce: happy new year, every oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee deuce: (overly loud 400 Hz middle A sine wave) (garbled talking) (static)

deuce: LET US KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO TO HELP pants: OR MAKE THINGS WORSE

deuce: I DECLARE A BONEQUEST INQUEST deuce: THIS INQUEST IS HEREBY CLOSED

pants: T DEUCE CAN I USE CHAT GPT TO WRITE A BONEQUEST NOVEL (OBVIOUSLY VOLUME 1 OF MANY!!!!!!!!) deuce: NO deuce: YOU MUST TYPE ALL THE STUPID WORDS YOURSELF pants: AND THEN SUDDENLY SUPERMAN BURST INTO THE ROOM WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE deuce: YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR 64K SEGMENTATION LIMIT.

deuce: BLEW A TROLL. BLEW A TROLL. BLEW A TROLL. YOU MADE YOUR SAVING THROW! BLEW A TROLL.

pants: BONEQUEST.COM IS PROUD TO BE THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF BONEQUEST pants: VISIT US ON THE INTERNETS spigot: HOLY HONKS AND BONKS pants: DIPPING THE TIP OF MY PRICK INTO THE HONEY MUSTARD

spigot: GIVE ME A REASON TO PARTICIPATE IN LIFE TODAY pants: NOW OPEN: WWW.BONEQUEST.STORE deuce: SHOPPING FOR BONES pants: CELEBRATE CAPITALISM spigot: :TELEPHONE_RECEIVER: CLONK BA-DONK deuce: SERVER COMMUNICATION ERROR HAS OCCURRED pants: OH NO deuce: MY PAPERS ARE IN ORDER spigot: DONUT COURT IS NOW IN SESSION deuce: [LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS] spigot: IS EVERYONE OPENING A BOUTIQUE IN NOB HILL spigot: WORRIED YOU'LL END UP IN THE HOSPITAL BEFORE PLACING YOUR ORDER AND PROCEEDING TO CHECKOUT

pants: SHOULD WE TELL THEM ??? atandt: NOT BEFORE TEA pants: FOLKS THIS A DUMB CARTOON atandt: FILLED WITH VIOLENCE AND IMMATURE JOKES pants: BREAKING DOWN THE THIRD WALL atandt: WE ARE WELL AWARE WE'RE CARTOON CHARACTERS pants: HUHHH pants: POSTMODERN HOMOPHOBIA pants: THE SINE QUA NON OF POSTMODERNITY atandt: DOPE, POO atandt: WE CALL THIS OBVIOUS CONSCIOUSNESS atandt: SELF-REFERENTIAL IRONY AND ALL THAT atandt: META-POP HYPERAWARENESS pants: SACKS FULL OF WET SOCKS atandt: SO: POO THEN pants: POO

pants: THE BONERS ARE ON FIRE pants: THE BONERS ARE ON FIRE deuce: FUCKING PUT THEM OUT pants: THE BONERS ARE ON FIRE

pants: T DEUCE PLEASE BAIL ME OUT OF BONER JAIL deuce: BANKRUPT

spigot: WHEN I POKE THE LOOSE FLAP IN HIS CUBE WALL AND PUSH MY FACE THROUGH AND SHOUT "BONER MANIA" SOMETIMES HE DROPS HIS FRESCA

spigot: SERVING SIZE 1 COOKIE spigot: SADDER THAN BABY SHOES NEVER WORN pants: IS THE BONERPLEX A REAL PLACE OR DID I JUST DREAM IT

deuce: LET'S PLAY BONER WARS pants: OKAY deuce: ZWWWWIP ZWWWWWAP WE'RE LIGHT SABRES pants: MINE IS JUST FLOPPY AND NOT MAKING COOL NOISES deuce: DUDE deuce: THAT IS JUST SO SAD pants: I SUSPECT I AM ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE FORCE

deuce: BONERS AND BONGS spigot: AND IT TOOK PEPPERIDGE FARM TO PUT THEM TOGETHER

atandt: BONERS POKE deuce: HOPE FLOATS deuce: T ATANDT BUT YOUR PUPPET SHOW HAS BEEN BANNED IN FORTY SIX STATES atandt: T DEUCE YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SEE THE 'WHOLE PICTURE' IT APPEARS deuce: I BELIEVE IN A HOLISTIC VIEW

atandt: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT BONG pants: THE WHAT ??? THE WHO ??? I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS PARTICULAR DEVICE BEFORE IN MY LIFE (SO HELP ME GOD, SO SAYETH THE FLOCK) atandt: WE SHOULD HAVE A FRANK DISCUSSION ABOUT DRUG ABUSE pants: (BONG NOISES) atandt: HOW DOES 3PM SOUND pants: I HAVE (BONG NOISES) AN APPOINTMENT FOR MY NAILS, HOW ABOUT 4:40 (MORE BONG NOISES)

atandt: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED BONGATHON ALREADY IN PROGRESS

atandt: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL FIX THESE ... UHH atandt: UHH -- WHO WROTE THIS CRAP pants: I'VE GOT A GAG WE COULD USE INSTEAD ABOUT SUCKING OFF AQUAMAN (UNDERWATER)

pants: SACRE BLEU pants: THE LANDLORD, SHE IS HERE FOR ZE RENT spigot: I WILL STUFF MY FAT ASS INTO THE VENT, WHILE YOU STALL HIM WITH YOUR FEMININE WILES pants: JEAN-CHARLES, WHAT SHOULD WE DO!? spigot: I AM STUCK!! GET PIERRE TO SHOVE MY LEGS INTO ZE CRAWLSPACE spigot: MY BULBOUS NOSE, IT IS PUSHED HARD INTO THE FIREWOOD spigot: I DRIVE A LE CAR, HOW ABOUT YOU pants: JEAN-CHARLES, YOU ARE IN TROUBLE AGAIN spigot: THERE WILL BE NO CROISSANTS DUE TO YOUR BUMBLING, CLOUSEAU-ESQUE ANTICS

spigot: BONJOUR spigot: I'M PIERRE THE FRENCH DICKLICKER!!!!!!!!! spigot: WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT

spigot: T PANTS DID YOU EVER FIND OUT WHO ATE ALL THE COOKIES IN THE COOKIE DRAWER. spigot: *BONK* WITH THE SHOVEL AND *FLUMP* INTO THE HOLE SO THERE'S REALLY NO WAY WE CAN EVER KNOW FOR SURE

pants: SQUIRT deuce: IT BURNS, ETC. pants: BONK ME deuce: I BONK THEE pants: BOTH EYES deuce: POOR YOU (BONK)

pants: I, DICKLICKER pants: SOME KIND OF GAY BONUS TRACK pants: MOAR pants: BECAUSE MOAR pants: MY SUNNY SIDE UP pants: BEWARE OF MANCUNT pants: POKE, CHOKE

deuce: THAT'S IT, I'M GETTIN' A BOOB JOB

spigot: A BOOK CLUB BUT WE SHOOT THE BOOKS deuce: DO WE HAVE TO BUY OUR OWN AMMUNITION pants: OR OUR OWN BOOKS

deuce: WELP SOMEONE'S BEEN DIPPING INTO THE ANGELS OF DEBAUCHERY SERIES spigot: F-FOR A BOOK REPORT

spigot: HUFFING AND PUFFING DON'T DRIVE AWAY spigot: COME BACK BOOKMOBILE spigot: I THINK WE'VE ALL LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT BOOKS TODAY

pants: BLOWJOBS AT A SURPRISINGLY LOW COST

pants: I JUST WANT TO SEE THE MISSILES HIT THE BUILDINGS IN COLOR THIS TIME deuce: WHATEVER AS LONG AS THE PRICE OF GAS GOES DOWN AND DIRTY PEOPLE DIE pants: LIBYA IS NEXT, THEN MICHIGAN pants: BOOM BAM BAM BAM NAPALM

spigot: ENJOY THESE TITS FROM THE 20TH FUCKING CENTURY!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: BOOM BOMB *SMASH* BURN KA-BLAM spigot: AND THESE 20 MISSILES

spigot: SANJAY DUTT HEADS BACK TO JAIL spigot: DOO DAH / DOO DAH spigot: (LIGHTS CIGAR) IT'S GOTTA BE BOOM BOOM BOOM, JOKE JOKE JOKE (STAMPS OUT CIGAR)

pants: I'M CONFUSED ABOUT SEX deuce: I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT pants: HELP ME OUT HERE deuce: IT'S AN ENTICING SUBJECT pants: ALL I NEED IS A BOOST TO GET THROUGH THE WINDOW deuce: ARE YOU A COP pants: I WILL BE YOUR GREEN GARDEN HOSE (USE ME TO WATER PLANTS AND WHAT NOT) pants: NO SIR I AM NOT deuce: GHLUAGLAHG

pants: GONNA NEED A BOOSTER SEAT FOR THIS GLORY HOLE pants: CAN'T QUITE REACH

pants: LET'S GET LOOSE/FUNKY deuce: BOOT deuce: I HAVE COMMITTED A CRIME AGAINST MAN AND GOD pants: LIE DOWN ON THE COLD BATHROOM FLOOR WITH ME OW OW OWO WOW OW OWO OW OWOW QUIT IT WOSUK ^B(&GDSVBON O NL EWOKS

spigot: YOUR NEW NAME IS BOOZY MCTYPO deuce: THOUGHT SO

pants: ADDING "ALSO, COCKS" IS BORERLINE VANDALISM IMO

deuce: AND STILL: NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS SHIT pants: BEING IN PROXIMITY OF PEOPLE SUFFERING IS REWARD ENOUGH deuce: YOU'RE LIKE THAT ENTITY THAT FED OFF THE CREW'S ANGER IN STAR TREK BUT INSTEAD YOU FEED OFF OF BOREDOM, DRUDGERY

spigot: T PANTS I ALSO HAVE A BUG WHERE ATANDT IS BORING (REPRODUCEABLE) atandt: HEY FUCK YOU

deuce: I'M A PROLAPSED CATHOLIC

spigot: GIVE ME TEN BJ'S IN A ROW OR I WON'T DOWNLOAD SEASON 2 OF BOSCH: LEGACY

spigot: fap or trap effigy: ...both?

net: T DEUCE I'M PRODDING YOU WITH A BACKDOOR/SUBSEVEN TROJAN HORSE deuce: T NET COULD YOU MOVE IT AROUND MORE BECAUSE I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING IN MY CAVERNOUS ASS net: THAT'S STEALTH, BABY deuce: NO IT'S THAT I'M WELL USED net: NOW THAT I'VE BOTH ARMS AND A TOASTER OVEN UP THERE I REALIZE THAT'S THE CASE deuce: I DO NOT LIE ABOUT SUCH THINGS EXCEPT WHEN I FEEL LIKE LYING WHICH IS MOST OF THE TIME

deuce: BAD KITTY pants: KISS BOTH ENDS deuce: I'M FULL pants: GEICO PEPSI

spigot: T ATANDT I SAW YOU AT THE DISCO atandt: I GUESS THE NEW YEAR MEANS I CAN START TYPING WITH BOTH HANDS

pants: COCKS, FAGS deuce: BOTH OF THOSE ARE HORRIBLE pants: I KNOW

spigot: FOLKS WE NEED A SHORT FAT CAMEL TYPE DEAL WITH RINKY-DINK CHOPSTICK LEGS AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOING ON INSIDE 📯 pants: WHICH SIDE DO I FUCK deuce: BE SERIOUS deuce: BOTH SIDES

pants: i swing both ways but only one way at a time (due to the laws of physics, the laws of santa clara county) deuce: one-way valve spigot: ****nutscrape**** rt if you agree

spigot: MY BONER WON'T LET ME SLEEP spigot: I'M GOING TO SEDATE IT WITH ALCOHOL spigot: WELL TURNS OUT THE BOTTLES OF WINE AND MY JARS OF URINE IN THE GARAGE LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE spigot: BOY THAT STAYS WITH YOU

spigot: DO U DARE ME TO SUCK MY OWN DICK spigot: I KINDA NEEDA YES/NO

deuce: YOU ARE CLEARLY A CZECH spigot: EMAIL ME IF YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY CRAZY NEW WEB COMIC CALLED BOUNCED CZECHS!!!!!!! spigot: TURNS OUT THE PARAGUAN SUBMILITARY ARE ALL FURRY RACCOON-LIKE CREATURES spigot: WITH OFFBEAT PERSONALITIES!!!!! spigot: BUT DON'T LET THEIR CUTENESS FOOL YOU!!!! spigot: TOON IN EACH MONDAY!!!!!!!!! spigot: THEN MY HEAD IN THE CUISINART pants: LEGGO MY PRICKO

pants: ALL THIS CAN BE YOURS pants: IF YOU pants: BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME

pants: bow down and worship me deuce: death first pants: would sir care to be dumped in a pit with others deuce: sure

pants: WOW A BOX OF COAT HANGERS spigot: T PANTS SERIOUSLY CONCERNED ABOUT CLONING HUMANS BECAUSE I'D LIKE TO BE GAY WITH MYSELF AND THEN THROW MYSELF AWAY IN DISGUST pants: THIS IS A HAPPY BIRTHDAY spigot: T PANTS GET OUT OF MY CLOSET