BONEQUEST

EPISODES: 2019

No. Date   Title / Dialog Players Tags
7,225 1/1/2019 literally have no idea
spigot: does he literally have no idea he's putting his penis in her bottom
spigot
#anal
#infocom
#porn
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
7,226 1/2/2019 golf pencils
deuce: it's more of a pencil dick pants: one of those little golf pencils, not a no 2 deuce: you will address me as sir pants: i thought you transitioned deuce: I did but that doesn't mean I wasn't knighted
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dick
#knighted
#knighthood
#transition
#ts
#white-background
7,227 1/3/2019 napping between dicks
spigot: if i'm not licking dick i'm napping between dicks
spigot
#dicklicking
#napping
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
7,228 1/4/2019 in this very room
deuce: a crime has been committed in this very room: nobody lick a dick pants: but who hgulahuglahglhalugag who deuce: we'll hglhglaghlgh get to the glahglahglagh bottom of lghalghalgh this
deuce
pants
#cocksucking-noises
#deuce-pants
#dicklicking
#frog
#neon-grid-background
#whodunit
7,229 1/5/2019 he is merciful
pants: god has a plan for all us pants: even you pants: he is merciful and bi deuce: no spoilers!!!
deuce
pants
#bi
#bonequest-fm
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fourth-wall
#god
#grey-background
#spoilers
7,230 1/6/2019 don't be ridiculous
deuce: BLAM 15 dicks pants: POW some number of dicks that is not zero pants: n dicks deuce: with n > 0 deuce: `(dicks)+` pants: it's an unknown number of dicks deuce: but let's call it 15 pants: at once????????????????????????????????????????? deuce: well they're poking/prodding all at once but not all penetrating at once deuce: obviously deuce: I mean don't be ridiculous pants: 2 maybe 3 tops
deuce
pants
#black-background
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#math
#programming
#weird-pants-face
7,231 1/7/2019 salt lick plz
pants: MY COW NAME IS BUTTERBALLS deuce: hail and well met, Butterballs pants: salt lick plz pants: open range would be good pants: source of water pants: oh you know what would be great is a big ol' bell around my neck pants: that's pretty much about it (barney fife sniff) pants: whadda ya gonna do
deuce
pants
#animals
#barney-fife
#cow
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#huffy-pants
#moo
#mountain-background
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
7,232 1/8/2019 vis-a-vis
deuce: toilet snakes are the worst pants: are they worse than toilet pigs deuce: vastly worse
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#title-mismatch
#toilet
#toilet-pig
#woodring-room-background
7,233 1/9/2019 you're just mad
spigot: you're just mad the new dr who is a trap
spigot
#dr-who
#high-res
#single-panel
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
#trap
#ts
7,234 1/10/2019 this is the life
pants: this is the life huh
pants
#life
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#title-mismatch
#urinal-background
7,235 1/11/2019 nice frilly ruffles
deuce: Marquess of Cockville pants: charmed i'm sure (flaps paper fan) deuce: nice frilly ruffles you big ponce pants: powdered wig, fake mole on cheek
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#minecraft-background
7,236 1/12/2019 piss chalice
deuce: a chalice filled with piss pants: PISS CHALICE
deuce
pants
#cat
#deuce-pants
#piss
#piss-chalice
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
7,237 1/13/2019 bob lazar
deuce: haha who downloaded a Bob Lazar movie pants: what's that deuce: a UFO bullshitter pants: I'd Google it but I honestly forgot how to switch windows so I live here now deuce: well then settle down, I'll make you a cup of hot cocoa deuce: (loud farting sounds off-camera) pants: also a blanket pants: a big strong fireman
deuce
pants
#bob-lazar
#cocoa
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#farts
#fireman
#gay
#laughing-deuce
#ufo
#windows
#woodring-stairs-background
7,238 1/14/2019 they all wake up together
spigot: decapitating new horizon spigot: placing the radioisotope thermoelectric generator in nasa's bed spigot: i assume they all wake up together ???? spigot: get oort of my cloud spigot: whapping them all with my kuiper belt
spigot
#astronomy
#nasa
#sfw
#space
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
7,239 1/15/2019 the abyss stares back
pants: hey uh pants: i think my junk is stuck pants: could you go to the other end of this hollow log and see what's what in there deuce: I see the abyss pants: well the abyss is staring back at you (bored voice)
deuce
pants
#abyss
#deuce-pants
#junk
#nietzsche
#stuck
#woodring-field-background
7,240 1/16/2019 that doesn't sell the goose
pants: why can't you and I beat each other off normally deuce: because that doesn't sell the goose
deuce
pants
#beating-off
#deuce-pants
#goose
#huffy-pants
#nu-urinal-background
#single-panel
7,241 1/17/2019 warm
effigy: mmm piss pants: warm
effigy
pants
#effigy
#effigy-pants
#piss
#single-panel
#urinal-background
7,242 1/18/2019 to the tune of "for he's a jolly good fellow"
pants: a duck ran off with my penis pants: then a crow took the penis from the duck pants: and after that the crow just dropped it into the lake pants: it's all very sad
pants
#crow
#duck
#limp
#ornithology
#pants-solo
#penis
#singing
#the-sopranos
#title-mismatch
#white-background
7,243 1/19/2019 piss clams
deuce: piss clams pants: digging in the sand for them pants: boiling them (in piss) deuce: feeding them pills pants: putting them back in the sand
deuce
pants
#aquaculture
#deuce-pants
#dongbuffer
#drugs
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#pills
#piss
#weird-pants-face
7,244 1/20/2019 the exact same reason
spigot: my pajamas tops have a vest pocket i can stuff pencils in and my pajama bottoms have a rear flap for the ***exact same reason****
spigot
#asterisks
#flap
#insertion
#pajamas
#pencils
#pocket
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#stuff
#woodring-field-background
7,245 1/21/2019 bring our boys back home
pants: ---...--- pants: bring our boys back home pants: then ship them out pants: then bring them back pants: our boys should not be comfortable
pants
#bonequest-hi-fi
#boys
#morse-code
#pants-solo
#sfw
#urinal-background
#whisper
7,246 1/22/2019 weird dumb dicks
pants: AG-GAG LAWS deuce: AMBERLAMPS pants: what about the ghlaghluahgluhalug laws pants: EDELWEISS pants: weird dumb dicks that don't belong here deuce: sorghum pants: paper mills deuce: bauxite pants: groatcakes deuce: the queer quarry pants: top of the hill, daly city pants: sci-fi fantasy deuce: speculative fiction not science fiction!!!!! hluhlbulhbuhlbuhlb pants: gnu/linux deuce: GNU/HURP pants: hardon
deuce
pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#edelweiss
#epic-beard-man
#fermilab
#funloving-nonsense
#groatcakes
#man-in-the-high-castle
#star-trek
#the-sound-of-music
#weird-pants-face
#white-background
7,247 1/23/2019 cool with that
pants: have you forsaken me (it's okay if you have, i'm cool with that) deuce: no but God sure as fuck has pants: i'm so ashamed and horny
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#god
#shame
#urinal-background
#weird-pants-face
7,248 1/24/2019 can't piss with you watching
pants: i can't piss with you watching deuce: that's not what my archival footage shows
deuce
pants
#archival
#deuce-pants
#grey-background
#piss
#single-panel
#surveillance
#voyeurism
7,249 1/25/2019 joi
deuce: what you need is some good jerk-off instruction spigot: via lynda.com
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#jerking
#joi
#porn
#single-panel
#url
#white-background
7,250 1/26/2019 this absolute unit
spigot: choke down this absolute unit
spigot
#choking
#low-res
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#title-mismatch
#woodring-field-background
7,251 1/27/2019 if you don't mean it
pants: there's nothing "cool" about calling in sick to smoke dope and watch tv pants: don't beat me off if you don't mean it pants: i say this as a friend
pants
#beating-off
#calling-in
#coy-pants
#friend
#pants-solo
#smoking-dope
#woodring-stairs-background
7,252 1/28/2019 you're my disposable urinal
deuce: you're my disposable urinal pants: I am neither leakproof nor hygienic deuce: don't care
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#piss
#urinal-background
7,253 1/29/2019 wank it now
spigot: what part of wank it **now** do you just not understand pants: how ya doin there skip deuce: I'll wank it when I'm damn good and ready deuce: okay I'm ready
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#masturbation
#mountain-background
7,254 1/30/2019 exotic
pants: piss (possibly piss) pants: confirming: piss deuce: validating piss pants: strange piss deuce: average piss pants: working man's piss deuce: Acapulco piss pants: exotic
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#mountain-background
#piss
#somber-deuce
#weird-pants-face
7,255 1/31/2019 the mysterious case of the spider-purse
spigot: spider-man and his spider-purse
spigot
#piss-trough-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spider-man
#spigot-solo
7,256 2/1/2019 cooking with pants
pants: Cut the apple into thin wedges, then cut the wedges into half-inch pieces; place in the garbage can and eat the entire bag of Ghirardelli chocolate squares.
pants
#cooking
#fat
#fatness
#food
#hi-fi
#pants-solo
#recipe
#sfw
#single-panel
#urinal-background
7,257 2/2/2019 the only place i can blog safely
pants: GAHHHHH 2019 spigot: i'm still writing i lick dick on my checks spigot: the only place I can blog safely spigot: nope, wells fargo just told everyone
pants
spigot
#banking
#blog
#blogging
#dicklicking
#new-year
#pants-spigot
#spigot-points
#urinal-background
#wells-fargo
7,258 2/3/2019 hooooooooo
pants: jack me off???????? deuce: dial tone
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#single-panel
#telephony
#title-mismatch
#white-background
7,259 2/4/2019 ultima ii
pants: why doesn't minecraft have cars and airplanes and copters and rockets deuce: Ultima II did
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#minecraft
#minecraft-background
#single-panel
#ultima
7,260 2/5/2019 stan lee and steve ditko
pants: if it wasn't for the writing of stan lee and the drawings of steve ditko, i might not have ever done none of those rapes
pants
#comics
#marvel
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#rape
#single-panel
7,261 2/6/2019 max hardcore, attorney at law
deuce: what we need is a good porn lawyer pants: GPL deuce: doesn't exist pants: max hardcore, attorney at law deuce: Gianna Michaels, Esq. pants: the dog has fooled me again, he now has both of my slippers
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dog
#gpl
#jean-charles
#lawyer
#legal
#porn
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
7,262 2/7/2019 push came to shove
spigot: if push came to shove i would say lick my dick
spigot
#black-background
#cliche
#dicklicking
#high-res
#no-greytext
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
7,263 2/8/2019 playtest results
pants: *last night's playtest:* pants: 59 logins, 32 unique players pants: 9 quests completed (that weren't just "Leave the public restroom") pants: 90 chat lines pants: 140 parse errors (may or may not be real bugs) pants: 15 critical errors pants: 1 crash pants: 0 bones found
pants
#bonequest
#bug-report
#grey-background
#pants-solo
#video-games
#weird-pants-face
7,264 2/9/2019 PLAYTEST RESULTS (UPDATED)
pants: PLAYTEST RESULTS (UPDATED): pants: 144 LOGINS pants: 100 CRITICAL ERRORS pants: 16 QUESTS COMPLETED pants: 61 INCIDENTS OF PLAYERS KISSING TOILETS FOR SOME REASON pants: 324 CHAT LINES pants: SEVERAL CRASHES (SORRY EVERYBODY) pants: ZERO BONES FOUND
pants
#meta
#neon-grid-background
#pants-solo
#video-games
#weird-pants-face
7,265 2/9/2019 the transitive property
spigot: quick reminder that silence=death spigot: and also that silence=golden spigot: so through the transitive property spigot: i would like a bj
spigot
#blowjob
#logic
#quick-reminder
#radiohead
#spigot-solo
#yellow-background
7,266 2/10/2019 a cross-over cinematic multiverse
pants: hoping we can have a cross-over cinematic multiverse where ted bundy goes to the fyre documentary and murders all the influencers
pants
#current-events
#fyre-festival
#netflix
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#white-background
7,267 2/11/2019 hey google
spigot: holy shit i can just say hey google play bonequest hifi podcast and it starts with #494 pants: weezer is terrible deuce: I'm a kitty cat
deuce
pants
spigot
#bonequest-hi-fi
#cat
#deuce-pants-spigot
#google
#high-res
#podcast
#product-placement
#shameless-self-promotion
#single-panel
#weezer
#white-background
7,268 2/12/2019 corset waist training
pants: corset waist training but for my dong pants: Editors' Note: This post has been corrected to remove phrasing that was copied from Wikipedia.
pants
#citation-needed
#dong
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#wikipedia
7,269 2/13/2019 a stupid of pricks
deuce: if it's a pride of lions and a murder of crows, what's the collective noun for pricks: a bucket of pricks??? pants: a stupid
deuce
pants
#collective-nouns
#deuce-pants
#pricks
#red-background
#single-panel
#stupid
7,270 2/14/2019 open and shut like a pac-man
spigot: first I'll flounce my wrists up and down above my head to "clap back" like a tired old queen spigot: then i'll blabbermouth my cheeks open and shut like a pac-man
spigot
#blue-background
#clapback
#drag-queen
#pac-man
#spigot-solo
7,271 2/15/2019 please type y or n
pants: do u want to beat me off y/n pants: you have typed "yes" pants: please type y or n deuce: ddddddddddddd
deuce
pants
#beating-off
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#ghetto-u
#weird-pants-face
#y-n
#yellow-background
7,272 2/16/2019 space farts
spigot: space farts
spigot
#farts
#hi-fi
#single-panel
#space-farts
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
7,273 2/17/2019 never move your lower jaw when speaking
pants: i can see Vera Farmiga as lydia but i am not sure about Jon Bernthal as johnny-boy pants: it's easier to talk like woody harrelson in true detective if you never move your lower jaw when speaking pants: welp i'm all done causing a ruckus for the day, back to my tent under the overpass
pants
#homelessness
#jon-bernthal
#pants-solo
#red-background
#sfw
#sopranos-prequel
#the-sopranos
#true-detective
#vera-farmiga
#woody-harrelson
7,274 2/18/2019 dong goals
pants: excuse me but i didn't say *DONGLES* i said *DONG GOALS*
pants
#dong
#dongle
#high-res
#huffy-pants
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#white-background
7,275 2/19/2019 yer lordship
deuce: keepin' it real pants: word on the street is pants: i'm so tired pants: please put me in a plastic bag and then put that plastic bag in the dumpster
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dumpster
#garbage
#jean-charles
#sfw
#teal-background
#tired
7,276 2/20/2019 feel my soul
deuce: t pants what you need is Jesus pants: feel my soul deuce: that's not your pants: just squint
deuce
pants
#black-background
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#jesus
#sfw
7,277 2/21/2019 repeater time out cancel
pants: BUGGER YE ALL spigot: repeater spigot: time spigot: out spigot: cancel
pants
spigot
#abort-retry-fail
#blue-background
#bugger
#ham-radio
#pants-spigot
#weird-pants-face
7,278 2/22/2019 collar bombs
pants: all these collar bombs are making me hungry for pizza
pants
#bombs
#hungry
#mountain-background
#netflix
#pants-solo
#pizza
#sfw
#single-panel
7,279 2/23/2019 a military industrial complex thing
pants: do girls have wieners or is that a military industrial complex thing pants: eisenhower warned us about traps deuce: ja ja, dick und balls
deuce
pants
#bagels
#balls
#deuce-pants
#dick
#dickgirls
#eisenhower
#german
#huffy-pants
#traps
#ts
#white-background
7,280 2/24/2019 lean in
pants: drill a hole in my head deuce: I'm a hangover pants: god is in there (you can talk to him, ask him anything) pants: ***anything*** pants: no seriously pants: just lean into the hole in my head and whisper
deuce
pants
#asterisks
#deuce-pants
#god
#green-background
#hangover
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
7,281 2/25/2019 we are typing things
deuce: someone pulled out all the stops pants: did stops get pulled out pants: that is horrible pants: maybe we put the stops back in??????? what if they were holding something back deuce: we are typing things
deuce
pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#funloving-nonsense
#mountain-background
#sfw
#stops
#unintended-consequences
7,282 2/26/2019 crispy gaza strips
spigot: pepperidge farm mint millennials spigot: crispy gaza strips pants: uhhh yeah suck it
pants
spigot
#grey-background
#huffy-pants
#malaphor
#millennials
#pants-spigot
#pepperidge-farm
7,283 2/27/2019 squibs
spigot: i am absolutely using squibs under my shirt for my next all hands spigot: any questions spigot: BLAM BLAM BLAM spigot: and then i wanna do a big gay GURK!!!!!!!!!!!! and flop over spigot: can you guys believe i was assassinated just now
spigot
#assassination
#gurk
#meeting
#no-scrubs
#spigot-solo
#squibs
#teal-background
#tlc
7,284 2/28/2019 a tour de force
spigot: critics are calling these bonghits delicious, delightful spigot: a tour de force (dot dot dot) mesmerizing
spigot
#black-background
#bong
#bonghit
#dots
#marijuana
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#upskirt
7,285 3/1/2019 passive
spigot: more of a passive shooter
spigot
#grey-background
#shooter
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
7,286 3/2/2019 please stop cooking all the wheat
effigy: t whoever please stop cooking all the wheat effigy: I need it to breed llamas pants: more than my boner can bear spigot: part of a balanced bonghit
effigy
pants
spigot
#boner
#bonghit
#effigy
#effigy-pants-spigot
#llamas
#minecraft
#minecraft-background
#spigot-pants
7,287 3/3/2019 the sun will go dead and nobody will know our names
pants: what does it all mean pants: where are we going pants: there is no god pants: i have no son pants: we are alone in this universe pants: nobody is coming for us pants: the sun will go dead and nobody will know our names pants: i can't beat off to this
pants
#beating-off
#black-background
#bonequest-hi-fi
#existential-dread
#huffy-pants
#pants-solo
#pepsi
7,288 3/4/2019 an action item
deuce: I sure don't lick dick pants: then who deuce: maybe it was (runs suddenly out of the room) pants: i assume you're going to find out who (sips tea with pinkie extended) deuce: It's an action item I fully intend to functionalize pants: well then
deuce
pants
#buzzwords
#deuce-pants
#dicklicking
#marijuana
#meeting
#photo-background
7,289 3/5/2019 and sean connery as
deuce: And deuce: SEAN CONNERY deuce: As Professor Henry Jones
deuce
#cricket
#deuce-solo
#indiana-jones
#sean-connery
#sfw
#yellow-background
7,290 3/6/2019 back and forth across your face
pants: blat spigot: figured out a way to do the fortnite dance so my dong whaps back and forth across your face
pants
spigot
#dong
#fortnite
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
#video-games
7,291 3/7/2019 despite the fact
spigot: and you call them licked dicks despite the fact that they are obviously grilled
spigot
#simpsons
7,292 3/8/2019 same hat
pants: BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. DO I LOOK CUTE IN THIS TOP? deuce: meh pants: what about this one (1980s movie montage where we try on hats in front of a mirror, beat each other off) pants: what about this one (same hat, can't fool you)
deuce
pants
#beating-off
#current-events
#deuce-pants
#grey-background
#hawaii
7,293 3/9/2019 approx. est.
pants: 900 dicks deuce: (approx.) deuce: 900 dicks (est.)
deuce
pants
#blue-background
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#huffy-pants
7,294 3/10/2019 the gay dimension
effigy: he swallowed his own dick like an ouroboros and vanished into the gay dimension deuce: so in other words your average Thursday pants: there's a **gay** dimension?????????????? pants: **freaking out**
deuce
effigy
pants
#asterisks
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce-effigy-pants
#dick
#effigy
#gay
#ouroboros
#white-background
7,295 3/11/2019 need know info
pants: need know info deuce: no info available pants: need know tho
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#information
#sfw
#yellow-background
7,296 3/12/2019 five and up
spigot: one for the money spigot: two to lick dick spigot: three to lick dick spigot: four to lick dick spigot: five and up, dicklicking
spigot
#balls
#bonequest-hi-fi
#dicklicking
#spigot-points
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,297 3/13/2019 cycle airlock
pants: ATMOSPHERE: pants: BREATHABLE pants: RADIATION: pants: MINIMAL deuce: > CYCLE AIRLOCK pants: wait what no
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#jean-charles
#space
#urinal-background
7,298 3/14/2019 facetime
deuce: I'm a Social Media Influencer effigy: SQUIRPY deuce: I'm feeling one of those coming on effigy: me too, let's facetime
deuce
effigy
#deuce-effigy
#drunk-deuce
#facetime
#influencer
#mousehole
#poo
#social-media
#squirpy
#woodring-room-background
7,299 3/15/2019 sound off
spigot: let us know about the dongs in your mouth spigot: sound off in the comments
spigot
#comments
#dongs
#spigot-solo
#the-comments
#urinal-background
7,300 3/16/2019 NOTB
deuce: need an accurate up-to-date figure on the number of trolls blown (NOTB) pants: 2
deuce
pants
#acronym
#deuce-pants
#single-panel
#teal-background
#troll
#troll-blowing
7,301 3/17/2019 mark as read
deuce: I'm doing ASMR noises in your ear pants: pffft pssst pssst scrape pffft pssst pst pst deuce: you got it pants: pst pffft COCKS pssfsftft scrape click effigy: [x] MARK AS READ.
deuce
effigy
pants
#asmr
#cocks
#deuce-effigy-pants
#email
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
7,302 3/18/2019 joyful noises unto the lord
spigot: you should be registering joyful noises unto the lord deuce: captain, I'm sensing anger
deuce
spigot
#deanna-troi
#deuce-spigot
#farts
#filename
#god
#single-panel
#star-trek
#white-background
7,303 3/19/2019 shinebox
pants: it's your shinebox mister i don't wanna tell you what to do but i think you should go get it deuce: I don't want to get off on a rant here but GET YOUR FUCKING SHINEBOX pants: won't someone rid me of this turbulent NOT HAVING SHINEBOX Motherfucker
deuce
pants
#blue-background
#dennis-miller
#deuce-pants
#goodfellas
#henry-ii
#murder-in-the-cathedral
#shinebox
#thomas-becket
7,304 3/20/2019 put your back into it
pants: COCKS deuce: that's horrible pants: sorry deuce: you can do it put your back into it pants: i will not do that deuce: you will
deuce
pants
#cocks
#deuce-pants
#ice-cube
#urinal-background
7,305 3/21/2019 slow down lady
deuce: I could sure go for some jerk off instruction right now (because I never learned how) pants: Does it come in a bottle or is it a fountain drink deuce: sorry I only respond to the pronouns _fuck_ and _you_ spigot: as long as that instruction shows me what I'm supposed to do with my hands spigot: um SLOW DOWN lady
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#jerking
#joi
#masturbation
#mousehole
#tiki
#woodring-room-background
7,306 3/22/2019 always with the scenarios
spigot: t lady are you saying I should roll snake eyes spigot: are you signaling the waiter you're ready for fresh ground pepper spigot: stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself
spigot
#scenarios
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
7,307 3/23/2019 bash the fash
pants: DEPRECATION: Python 2.7 will reach the end of its life on January 1st, 2020. Please upgrade your Python as Python 2.7 won't be maintained after that date. pants: drown all nerds is what my bumper sticker will say pants: bash the fash, all cops are bastards, bring back the guillotine, why did i find my dungeon master's guide smeared with coffee grounds in the trash
pants
#acab
#coffee
#dungeons-and-dragons
#fascism
#nerds
#pants-solo
#programming
#python
#white-background
7,308 3/24/2019 crawlspace
deuce: breasts pants: no deuce: y pants: i need advance notice next time (E_CRAWLSPACE_FULL)
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#error-message
#nu-urinal-background
#y-n
7,309 3/25/2019 call it fagface
pants: call it friendo spigot: friendo is actually culturally insensitive, we prefer retardo (with a hard R) or fagface (with 2 long spluttery limpwristed F's)
pants
spigot
#millennials
#no-country-for-old-men
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
7,310 3/26/2019 waiting for lunch
pants: burying myself in the sand, waiting for lunch to wander within grabbing distance
pants
#bonequest-hi-fi
#fatness
#high-res
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#trapdoor-spider
7,311 3/27/2019 can't tell
deuce: can't tell whether a piss fetish is more or less gross than a foot fetish pants: that's a tough one
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#feet
#fetish
#piss
#sex
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
7,312 3/28/2019 have you scanned your club card
pants: play with my balls deuce: please place your bag in the bagging area spigot: unknown item in the bagging area deuce: please place your item in the bag deuce: please wait for employee assistance spigot: have you scanned your club card??????
deuce
pants
spigot
#balls
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#self-checkout
#woodring-stairs-background
7,313 3/29/2019 dick pics to my large-screen google home hub
spigot: there has got to be a way I can send dick pics to my large-screen google home hub in the kitchen while the book club is over spigot: i'm thinkin' ken burns effect spigot: if I could suck my own dick I'd never leave the house but also I never leave the house so . . . . . . let's hurry it up women of STEM
spigot
#dick-pics
#dicks
#google-home
#grey-background
#ken-burns
#spigot-solo
#stem
#women
7,314 3/30/2019 the only one
spigot: AM I THE ONLY GODDAMN LIAR IN AMERICA STILL LYING spigot: i hope no girls read this
spigot
#america
#liar
#lying
#no-girls
#pushing
#shoving
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,315 3/31/2019 godzilla shall not be killed
effigy: Restrictions: Godzilla shall not speak any human language effigy: Godzilla shall not be killed effigy: Godzilla's use shall not be derogatory to its image spigot: can we ban capeshit on this sub
effigy
spigot
#capeshit
#effigy
#effigy-spigot
#godzilla
#reddit
#salt-n-pepa
#spigot
#woodring-den-background
7,316 4/1/2019 don't wait up for me
deuce: t pants clean this zucchini pants: it's so filthy pants: don't wait up for me pants: this is going to take all night
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#woodring-field-background
#zucchini
7,317 4/2/2019 dopey, pudgy butterfaces in every discipline
spigot: every time the camera pans across a theranos all-hands, all i see are dopey, pudgy butterfaces in every discipline but none dopier or pudgier than eholmes herself *SEND* deuce: she is extremely doofusy spigot: (baritone) one alcohol please spigot: did we ever get confirmation she's been blacked
deuce
spigot
#blacked
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#futurama
#grey-background
#gun
#theranos
7,318 4/3/2019 a little tired
deuce: you're a national treasure pants: does god love me deuce: he's sort of indifferent deuce: but not really hostile deuce: just a little tired of your shit pants: who wouldn't be
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#god
#pants-deuce
#tv
#urinal-background
7,319 4/4/2019 thanks for the gold
spigot: SUCK A DICK spigot: thanks for the gold kind stranger
spigot
#filename
#kitty
#mountain-background
#reddit
#spigot-solo
7,320 4/5/2019 upgrade your subscription today
spigot: you've blown 2 trolls of your monthly limit (4). upgrade your subscription today spigot: we see you love blowing trolls spigot: You are blowing *3 of 4 free trolls* this month
spigot
#paywall
#spigot-solo
#troll-blowing
#trolls
#woodring-stairs-background
7,321 4/6/2019 both
spigot: fap or trap effigy: ...both?
effigy
spigot
#effigy
#effigy-spigot
#fap
#nu-urinal-background
#single-panel
#spigot
#trap
7,322 4/7/2019 origami furniture that magically unfolds
spigot: yes please more origami furniture that magically unfolds into sharp wooden shapes that pinch my dick off
spigot
#dick
#furniture
#genital-mutilation
#mousehole
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#twitter
#woodring-room-background
7,323 4/8/2019 going to the bathroom
spigot: going to the bathroom on children will make america great again
spigot
#america
#low-res
#maga
#mother
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#toilet
#woodring-field-background
7,324 4/9/2019 the two rules of design
spigot: the two rules of design: spigot: if it's gay GET RID OF IT spigot: if it's gay LEAVE IT IN
spigot
#gay
#mountain-background
#rules
#spigot-solo
7,325 4/10/2019 what's up seattle
spigot: WHAT'S UP SEATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! beer bottle
spigot
#high-res
#seattle
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#violence
#white-background
7,326 4/11/2019 bam auto-flush right in the face
pants: does your office have those fancy toilets that automatically flush for you spigot: they do and they all have bidets which i kindly crank up to the coldest temps and the strongest jets pants: do you also have that problem where you're inspecting your poo and the thing rudely flushes into your face spigot: oops-dropped-my-phone is more of a problem when it falls into the sink because that faucet-auto-on happens immediately pants: sometimes i'll be kneeing in front of the bowl looking over the contents when bam auto-flush deuce: t pants permission to lick dick
deuce
pants
spigot
#bidet
#pants-spigot
#poo
#sfw
#toilet
#urinal-background
#weird-pants-face
7,327 4/12/2019 type "engage"
deuce: farting it up pants: scanning the horizon for farts deuce: farts detected pants: set course for farts deuce: course set, type `engage` to lick dick pants: > GO FARTS
deuce
pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#dicklicking
#drunk-deuce
#farts
#infocom
#mr-show
#space-nuts-background
7,328 4/13/2019 nobody cared
spigot: nobody cared who I was until I pulled out my dong
spigot
#bane
#batman
#dong
#drip
#mountain-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#the-dark-knight
7,329 4/14/2019 disney songs
deuce: let's sing Disney songs pants: t r a n n y v i s i o n
deuce
pants
#blue-background
#deuce-pants
#disney
#single-panel
#trannyvision
#ts
7,330 4/15/2019 what a great view
spigot: all these lofts going up spigot: WOW WHAT A GREAT VIEW spigot: nope another loft built up right in front of that spigot: and in front of that spigot: etc etc turtles spigot: right into the marshland so the buildings all start sinking in the same order spigot: and the view is now in the opposite direction
spigot
#cities
#commentary
#loft
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#turtles
#white-background
7,331 4/16/2019 exactly the right amount
net: my dick has exactly the right amount of horseyness
net
#black-background
#dicks
#high-res
#horse
#net-solo
#single-panel
7,332 4/17/2019 emergency traffic
pants: i would like some oral history please spigot: break break spigot: emergency traffic for the net spigot: (spluttery shit)
pants
spigot
#ham-radio
#mousehole
#pants-spigot
#shit
#spigot-points
#woodring-room-background
7,333 4/18/2019 don't leave me hanging
pants: accidentally caught some low-hanging speaker wire in the vacuum cleaner, can't hear anything out of the right side now effigy: quantum entanglement
effigy
pants
#effigy
#effigy-pants
#physics
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
7,334 4/19/2019 normal complete sentence
spigot: i don't blank panels unless they add weight between lines and i don't like spoilers in the title spigot: i don't blank panels. normal complete sentence.
spigot
#filler-panel
#meta
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,335 4/20/2019 st. john the baptist
uncredited lady: st. john's / may i help you spigot: is this st. john the baptist uncredited lady: yes it is spigot: i wondered if there was someone around who could tell me about church uncredited lady: um spigot: ok uncredited lady: yes spigot: see right now i'm in something called the church of joe's dick spigot: and this guy joe comes over every sunday spigot: and he flops his dick around in my face spigot: and rubs his balls all over my lips spigot: he pisses in my hair and up my nose spigot: i don't think it's for me spigot: can you tell me if catholicism is any different
spigot
#balls
#bonequest-hi-fi
#catholicism
#church
#crank-o-matic
#dick
#girl
#girl-spigot
#phone
#piss
#uncredited-character
#woodring-room-background
7,336 4/21/2019 still open
spigot: would you close your robe spigot: deuce: spigot: deuce: spigot: deuce: spigot: deuce: spigot: deuce: spigot: it's still open there
deuce
spigot
#bathrobe
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#sfw
#white-background
7,337 4/22/2019 girls who code
spigot: girls who code spigot: it's obviously tinkle
spigot
#filename
#neon-grid-background
#piss
#spigot-solo
#squirting
#upskirt
#women
7,338 4/23/2019 loaded and unloaded
pants: i got stuck in a block between loaded and unloaded chunks deuce: hot dogs are a subset of corn dogs but neither is a subset of dogs (FYI)
deuce
pants
#corn-dog
#deuce-pants
#dogs
#high-res
#minecraft
#minecraft-background
#single-panel
#taxonomy
7,339 4/24/2019 it's some kind of tea room anyway
pants: forced to give head in the toilet pants: april fool's!!!!!!!! pants: i didn't say stop
pants
#dicklicking
#pants-solo
#red-background
#toilet
7,340 4/25/2019 why the fuck
spigot: why the fuck am i climbing on a chair to put my smoke alarm up there, it's fine doing its work on the table spigot: i don't give a shit if there's smoke way the fuck up there spigot: yes i made toast
spigot
#cooking
#doop
#fire
#safety
#spigot-solo
#toast
#woodring-room-background
7,341 4/26/2019 knitting needles
pants: putting knitting needles in my bottom deuce: that's where they go now pants: now we know where to find them deuce: your bottom is a knitting needle receptacle deuce: knitting needle primary storage
deuce
pants
#bottom
#butt
#deuce-pants
#insertion
#knitting
#urinal-background
7,342 4/27/2019 so fucking stupid and irritating
deuce: why did you deadname my balls pants: ahem deadname is my slave name deuce: weird, it's my porn name
deuce
pants
#balls
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#porn
#trans
7,343 4/28/2019 a class act
pants: i drink piss from a glass deuce: because you're a class act
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#elegance
#incest
#piss
#single-panel
#white-background
7,344 4/29/2019 the blame game
deuce: piss sticks are like fish sticks but different spigot: i would say they are both frozen deuce: right deuce: but one tastes fishy and the other tastes pissy spigot: i won't play the blame game
deuce
spigot
#blue-background
#deuce-spigot
#dongs
#piss
#seafood
#spigot-points
7,345 4/30/2019 the reboot
spigot: who's excited for the reboot of my dick in their mouth
spigot
#dick
#kodak-moment
#mouth
#movies
#reboot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,346 5/1/2019 make money fast ask me how
pants: i would put u up my butt and leave u there pants: u would be safe living my butt i would care for u pants: build a house and make a family and live life as u see fit (in my butt) pants: if u want i can take u out and piss on u sometimes pants: u and i will grow old 2gether
pants
#anal-vore
#ghetto-u
#pants-solo
#piss
#woodring-room-background
7,347 5/2/2019 beneath the stars
deuce: when are we going to lick dick beneath the stars
deuce
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce
#deuce-solo
#dicklicking
#high-res
#single-panel
#space-nuts-background
7,348 5/3/2019 brachs jelly nougats
spigot: brachs jelly nougats deuce: nope deuce: I would like it stated for the record and posterity that _nougat_ looks like it's spelled wrong but it is not deuce: thank u for ur attention (now fuck me more in the ass)
deuce
spigot
#butt-sex
#deuce-spigot
#ghetto-u
#nougat
#spelling
#woodring-field-background
7,349 5/4/2019 and viewers like you
spigot: the pants and melinda gates foundation
pants
spigot
#melinda-gates
#pants-spigot
#philanthropy
#piss
#single-panel
#uncredited-character
#woodring-room-background
7,350 5/5/2019 jackoff planet
pants: jackoff planet deuce: beatoff aisle spigot: walgreens
deuce
pants
spigot
#beating-off
#deuce-pants-spigot
#mountain-background
#spigot-points
#walgreens
#weird-pants-face
7,351 5/6/2019 all who doubt me
pants: all who doubt me must suck cock spigot: doo dah / doo dah
pants
spigot
#camptown-races
#cocksucking
#huffy-pants
#pants-spigot
#singing
#toilet
#toilet-pig
#woodring-field-background
7,352 5/7/2019 the only gluten-free item on the menu
pants: i'll have the fat boy's asshole (it's the only gluten-free item on the menu) deuce: oh my
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#fat
#gluten-free
#single-panel
#white-background
7,353 5/8/2019 this is hot dog actual
pants: buster cunt deuce: did not copy your last effigy: I DEMAND HOT DOGS FOR LUNCH deuce: BUSTER CUNT 2 THIS IS HOT DOG ACTUAL pants: i'll meet ya out back deuce: ja, ja
deuce
effigy
pants
#deuce-effigy-pants
#food
#funloving-nonsense
#german
#grey-background
#hot-dog
#lunch
#radio
7,354 5/9/2019 what does that even mean
pants: what say you and me trade horses deuce: what does that even mean pants: it's what the script says
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#horse
#meta
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
7,355 5/10/2019 a beautiful haiku
pants: beating off into pants: a coffee can because pants: everything else is full
pants
#beating-off
#deja-vu
#haiku
#orange-background
#pants-solo
7,356 5/11/2019 a horrible hellscape
deuce: Jesus Christ why did I get up before 7 pants: it's cold and stupid out deuce: a horrible hellscape
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#jesus
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
7,357 5/12/2019 forty years
spigot: if a dog dies, does it go to heaven pants: yes spigot: so if my childhood dog dies we will be reunited, is that correct pants: yes spigot: will i have to clean up 40 years of dog shit all over heaven spigot: surprise, this is a crank call spigot: clonk ba-donk spigot: donk bonk donk ba-donk hello oh donk ba-donk spigot: cause i'm not really good with warm plastic bags spigot: what i'd do is pretend i was the gate keeper and just hand people scoops like they're disneyland janitors and say it's a 30 day trial period spigot: how we doin' on time
pants
spigot
#all-dogs-go-to-heaven
#comedy
#dogs
#dogshit
#heaven
#pants-spigot
#piss-trough-background
7,358 5/13/2019 bonequest annual report 2019
pants: please finish jacking me off before you jack off a totally unrelated dick (or series of dicks)
pants
#annual-report
#jacking-off
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
7,359 5/14/2019 s e x u a l
pants: s e x u a l deuce: so many sex deuce: do you sex the ziggurat pants: br rr rr rr
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#sex
#urinal-background
#ziggurat
7,360 5/15/2019 every goddamn time
spigot: do they make guinness cans that don't splork out into my face desk and lap every goddamn time spigot: seriously it's like the willy wonka soap suds car wash over here
spigot
#beer
#carbonation
#guinness
#spigot-solo
#white-background
#willy-wonka
7,361 5/16/2019 jingle jangle jingle jangle
pants: t deuce could you remove your gold bracelets when you beat off all i hear is jingle jangle jingle jangle deuce: unf unf unf nope unf unf unf
deuce
pants
#beating-off
#black-background
#deuce-pants
#jewelry
#single-panel
7,362 5/17/2019 gender-fluid steampunk dungeon crawler
pants: t deuce when is your gender-fluid steampunk dungeon crawler going to be released it seems like forever since your kickstarter finished deuce: never suckers MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA deuce: running away with all the diamonds deuce: also the dungeon crawler is not itself gender-fluid, the _characters_ in it are (jeez)
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dungeon-crawler
#gender-fluid
#grey-background
#kickstarter
#steampunk
7,363 5/18/2019 c'mon baby let's shake it
spigot: did you know indonesia is at a crossroads spigot: it is
spigot
#indonesia
#sailors
#sfw
#simpsons
#spigot-solo
#submarine
#white-background
7,364 5/19/2019 word to the wise
deuce: word to the wise: _dick pics_ means _pictures of dicks_
deuce
#deuce
#deuce-solo
#dick-pics
#dicks
#filename
#kitty
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
7,365 5/20/2019 don't forget
deuce: I'm going to mix my rice with chili !!!! pants: and piss deuce: some piss pants: don't forget the piss
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#food
#piss
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
7,366 5/21/2019 bloopster reel
spigot: tfw you suck dick and die spigot: literally one for the ol' bloopster reel
spigot
#cocksucking
#dick
#die
#filler-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-den-background
7,367 5/22/2019 practically the whole internet
deuce: that's practically the whole Internet deuce: including the dark web pants: what about the jackoff web deuce: unknown
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#jackoff
#woodring-stairs-background
7,368 5/23/2019 on freezing piss
pants: i like the piss sticks made fresh not the frozen ones deuce: but freezing piss is the only way to make it solid??? pants: you can also give them a stern look and they go into stick form right away and if that doesn't work ask to speak to their manager deuce: the husband of the manager pants: a woman manager??????????????????? <h1>give me a break</h1>
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#grey-background
#html
#manager
#piss
7,369 5/24/2019 the whole folder goes in the trash
spigot: if a movie or tv show has more than 3 seconds of a baby crying, the whole folder goes in the trash
spigot
#baby
#crying
#movies
#nu-urinal-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#television
7,370 5/25/2019 backed by the dicks gem
deuce: DICKS = ['8=D ', '8=D~ ', '8=D~~ ', '8=D~~~ ', '8==D ', '8==D~ ', '8==D~~ ', '8==D~~~ ', '8===D ', '8===D~ ', '8===D~~ ', '8===D~~~ ', '8====D ', '8====D~ ', '8====D~~ ', '8====D~~~ ', '8=====D ', '8=====D~ ', '8=====D~~ ', '8=====D~~~ ', '8======D ', '8======D~ ', '8======D~~ ', '8======D~~~ ', '8=======D ', '8=======D~ ', '8=======D~~ ', '8=======D~~~ ', '8========D ', '8========D~ ', '8========D~~ ', '8========D~~~ ', '8=========D ', '8=========D~ ', '8=========D~~ ', '8=========D~~~ ', '8==========D ', '8==========D~ ', '8==========D~~ ', '8==========D~~~ ', '8===========D ', '8===========D~ ', '8===========D~~ ', '8===========D~~~ ', '8============D ', '8============D~ ', '8============D~~ ', '8============D~~~ ', '8@=D ', '8@=D~ ', '8@=D~~ ', '8@=D~~~ ', '8@==D ', '8@==D~ ', '8@==D~~ ', '8@==D~~~ ', '8@===D ', '8@===D~ ', '8@===D~~ ', '8@===D~~~ ', '8@====D ', '8@====D~ ', '8@====D~~ ', '8@====D~~~ ', '8@=====D ', '8@=====D~ ', '8@=====D~~ ', '8@=====D~~~ ', '8@======D ', '8@======D~ ', '8@======D~~ ', '8@======D~~~ ', '8@=======D ', '8@=======D~ ', '8@=======D~~ ', '8@=======D~~~ ', '8@========D ', '8@========D~ ', '8@========D~~ ', '8@========D~~~ ', '8@=========D ', '8@=========D~ ', '8@=========D~~ ', '8@=========D~~~ ', '8@==========D ', '8@==========D~ ', '8@==========D~~ ', '8@==========D~~~ ', '8@===========D ', '8@===========D~ ', '8@===========D~~ ', '8@===========D~~~ ', '8@============D ', '8@============D~ ', '8@============D~~ ', '8@============D~~~ ']
deuce
#array
#ascii
#blue-background
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce
#deuce-solo
#dicks
#dicks-gem
#single-panel
7,371 5/26/2019 trust but verify
pants: do u even kno how 2 jack me off deuce: no pants: well good pants: trust but verify
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#ghetto-u
#handjob
#woodring-field-background
7,372 5/27/2019 a few of my favorite things revisited
spigot: I LOVE TO DOWNLOAD AND EAT CORN DOGS
spigot
#corn-dog
#download
#hi-fi
#love
#pee
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,373 5/28/2019 which pet shop boy are you
pants: which pet shop boy are you???????????????????? pants: [ ] one of them pants: [ ] the other???????? how many are there
pants
#bonequest-hi-fi
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#pet-shop-boys
#quiz
#weird-pants-face
7,374 5/29/2019 everyone's tie-off tube is waving around in zero g
spigot: 30 mins into apollo 11 and they're all doing heroin on the moon and everyone's tie-off tube is waving around in zero g spigot: FAKE
spigot
#apollo
#drugs
#fake
#filler-panel
#heroin
#moon
#space
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
7,375 5/30/2019 but do u
pants: i beat off nightly spigot: do you tho pants: i do spigot: but do u
pants
spigot
#beating-off
#ghetto-u
#pants-spigot
#spigot
#weird-pants-face
#white-background
7,376 5/31/2019 did i spell that right
spigot: *diarrhea* spigot: did i spell that right spigot: fantastic
spigot
#diarrhea
#sfw
#spelling
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
7,377 6/1/2019 BLAST OFF
pants: 3 pants: 2 pants: 1 pants: BLAST OFF HGLAHGLUAHGLUAHGLAG pants: sorry for the spam
pants
#countdown
#mailing-list
#pants-solo
#sfw
#space-nuts-background
#spam
#usenet
#weird-pants-face
7,378 6/2/2019 from each according to their gifts
pants: ah of course (stroking lenin beard) deuce: the dictatorship of the proletariat is at hand deuce: from each according to their gifts, to each according to their capacity to accept huge quantities of dick pants: the good of the state is the good of the urk choking and being choked at the same time
deuce
pants
#choking
#communism
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#easy-open
#instructions
#marxism
#physical-comedy
#vladimir-lenin
#woodring-field-background
7,379 6/3/2019 better than i'd hoped for
pants: do you think i'm very sexy or extremely sexy deuce: I would have to go with undeniably, extremely, astonishingly pants: well that's better than i'd hoped for
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#do-ya-think-im-sexy
#sexy
#touchdown
#woodring-den-background
7,380 6/4/2019 a moment of silence for
spigot: a moment of silence for the heat death of the visible universe
spigot
#astrophysics
#heat-death
#hi-fi
#high-res
#sfw
#single-panel
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
7,381 6/5/2019 delicious tarballs
pants: gonna make tarballs spigot: are those like lemon bars deuce: they're a bit like madeleines
deuce
pants
spigot
#baking
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#food
#sfw
#spigot-points
#tarball
#unix
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-field-background
7,382 6/6/2019 going in circles
deuce: do you think we'll ever reach the coast pants: I'm starting to think our covered wagon train is going in circles
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#mountain-background
#oregon-trail
#sfw
#single-panel
#weird-pants-face
7,383 6/7/2019 our linux devops podcast
pants: t deuce when are we going to record season two of our linux devops podcast "game of chowns" deuce: right after we receive the signal SIGFUCK pants: "chapter one: how system administration is like dungeons and dragons" deuce: more tri-tip plz
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#dungeons-and-dragons
#filler-panel
#food
#game-of-thrones
#grey-background
#linux
#podcast
#pun
#steak
#system-administration
#tri-tip
7,384 6/8/2019 perfectly centered the whole time
spigot: when they re-released the sopranos the engineers had to magnify, reframe, chop and crop the old timey 4:3 aspect ratio into the contemporary 16:9 but somehow meadow's tits were always perfectly centered the entire time ????? spigot: AHULGHUALG pants: HAGLAHGLUHUALG pants: i dunno, t
pants
spigot
#filler-panel
#grey-background
#pants
#pants-spigot
#spigot
#television
#the-sopranos
#transcription-mismatch
#url
7,385 6/9/2019 erectile dysfunction is no laughing matter
effigy: SOMETHING FLACCID THIS WAY COMES
effigy
#effigy
#effigy-solo
#flaccid
#hi-fi
#macintosh
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
7,386 6/10/2019 that third burrito
spigot: ate a burrito, then a second burrito spigot: it feels like two prestologs in my tummy spigot: no sympathy ??? spigot: fine, doing poos on your laptop and waffle-ironing it shut spigot: really eyeballing that third burrito
spigot
#burrito
#fatness
#food
#indigestion
#mountain-background
#poo
#spigot-solo
7,387 6/11/2019 the official position
pants: the official position of my dong is that it cannot be soft spigot: or do you just pour the cement over her and done
pants
spigot
#cement
#chernobyl
#dong
#pants
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
#spigot
#woodring-stairs-background
7,388 6/12/2019 chaos theory explains why you're a harlot
pants: t deuce a nice cool breeze is blowing up my skirt deuce: that's because you're a trollop pants: and because butterfly wings flapped somewhere deuce: chaos theory explains why you're a harlot
deuce
pants
#breeze
#butterfly-effect
#chaos
#chaos-theory
#deuce-pants
#filler-panel
#harlot
#trollop
#woodring-field-background
7,389 6/13/2019 top rated porn sites
deuce: free lesbiain porn videos top rated porn sites videos couple porn gallerys younger russian porn mangas porn gay deuce: I don't like all those words spigot: some are okay deuce: right but I cannot endorse the entire set spigot: i would say things like lesbiain are out (typo? who's to say) but also mangas and gay
deuce
spigot
#deuce
#deuce-spigot
#gay
#lesbian
#porn
#set-theory
#spigot
#typo
#woodring-field-background
7,390 6/14/2019 no more questions
pants: pray with me deuce: this isn't prayer pants: it is a form of prayer deuce: what am I praying to pants: i think you know deuce: also why are you hovering over me pants: no more questions pants: just prayer
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#prayer
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-den-background
7,391 6/15/2019 too much carbon
deuce: will someone please come up with a way to decarbonize my balls deuce: (too much carbon)
deuce
#balls
#blue-background
#carbon
#deuce-solo
#filler-panel
#green
7,392 6/16/2019 definitely handsome and charismatic
pants: t deuce magneto was right (peace was never an option) deuce: he may not have been completely right deuce: but he was definitely handsome and charismatic and sure had a good point pants: what about piss (is that an option) deuce: what are your views on genderfluid piss pants: not a word deuce: is that because you yourself are genderfluid???? or because you're pissy pants: the piss one
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#filler-panel
#genderfluid
#magneto
#piss
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-room-background
#x-men
7,393 6/17/2019 pants up late
pants: feelin' kinda cruisy pants: who should i call??? pants: buck rogers??? pants: superman??? pants: terry & the pirates??? pants: tailspin tommy??? pants: mandrake the magician??? pants: brick bradford??? pants: dick tracy??? pants: prince valiant??? pants: the katzenjammer kids???/
pants
#comics
#cruisy
#funny-pages
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#pulp-comics
#sfw
7,394 6/18/2019 murph
spigot: every time matthew mcconaughey shouts murph he should follow it up with hurf and burf
spigot
#high-res
#interstellar
#movies
#sfw
#single-panel
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
#television
7,395 6/19/2019 i'll just flop it out
pants: jack me off under the table deuce: never pants: well then i'll just flop it out in plain view deuce: fine
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#ding
#drunk-deuce
#hand-job
#jacking-off
#negotiations
#woodring-room-background
7,396 6/20/2019 2 big 2 fail
deuce: my dong is too big to fail deuce: not because it's actually big (it's tiny) but because so many investors have put so much money sflksf h4t kherf dfslkfse rfsdfoijhs f4tr9084fg sfdkg skldfsjefsdf
deuce
#deuce
#deuce-solo
#dong
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#financial-industry
#woodring-room-background
7,397 6/21/2019 you been away a long time
pants: go shit in your hat spigot: maybe you didn't hear about it, you been away a long time: i don't shit in hats anymore
pants
spigot
#goodfellas
#haberdashery
#millinery
#pants-spigot
#poo
#shit
#single-panel
#sneeze
#white-background
7,398 6/22/2019 a big metal box
pants: i have polio deuce: here's a big metal box to live in
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#hospital-background
#iron-lung
#polio
#sfw
#single-panel
7,399 6/23/2019 pet cemetary (sic)
pants: are you here to warn me not to bury my son at the pet cemetary spigot: i thought there would be fluttering flags and cartwheeling clowns pants: executive producer: james franco
pants
spigot
#death
#james-franco
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#simon-says
#typo
#woodring-field-background
7,400 6/24/2019 once and for all
spigot: once and for all: does tim conway's death seriously mean no more dorf
spigot
#death
#dorf
#mountain-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#tim-conway
7,401 6/25/2019 unless arson
pants: i can't jack off unless arson deuce: so, still a less weird fetish than a foot fetish
deuce
pants
#arson
#bonghit
#deuce-pants
#foot-fetish
#kinkshaming
#marijuana
#single-panel
#typo
#white-background
7,402 6/26/2019 which is gayer
pants: grand prix deuce: Le Mans deuce: both equally gay pants: which is gayer pants: the pact is sealed
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#gay
#racing
#white-background
7,403 6/27/2019 at least we both have each other
pants: smells like an adult bookstore in here
pants
#chlorine
#clamping
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#urinal-background
7,404 6/28/2019 the fixer
spigot: so fucking bored of my gay life pants: have you tried drinking spigot: yes, but all 6 local district liquor stores cannot keep up with my guinness intake - they keep running out pants: okay well have you tried ordering pizza or chinese food spigot: okay now i know why they call you the fixer
pants
spigot
#alcoholism
#chinese-food
#fixer
#gay
#guinness
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#pizza
7,405 6/29/2019 returning to the same themes
pants: we keep returning to the same themes deuce: we're not only not that bright but not that original either pants: also i know i promised to put my urine exclusively in the toilet but here's the thing see
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#piss
#toilet
#urine
#woodring-field-background
7,406 6/30/2019 quiet you guys
pants: quiet you guys the ranger is outside with a flashlight
pants
#atandt
#atandt-deuce-pants-spigot
#camp
#deuce
#high-res
#inebriated-crustacean
#pants
#ranger
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot
#urinal-background
7,407 7/1/2019 jack me off
pants: jack **me** off deuce: 010 pants: jack me **off** deuce: 001 pants: **jack** me off deuce: 100
deuce
pants
#asterisks
#binary
#deuce-pants
#hand-job
#jacking-off
#mountain-background
7,408 7/2/2019 for no great reason
spigot: i have cosmic background radiation poisoning in that i am alive for no great reason deuce: the Universe became transparent so that you might live
deuce
spigot
#astronomy
#deuce-spigot
#existential
#mousehole
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
7,409 7/3/2019 upsidedown in a garbage can
spigot: carl sagan just told me i'm made up of fagstuff and not starstuff and then he yoinked my red mervyns turtleneck up over my face and head spigot: if you can hear me i'm upsidedown in a garbage can
spigot
#bully
#carl-sagan
#filler-panel
#mervyns
#physical-comedy
#series
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
#squirp
7,410 7/4/2019 the cosmic calendar
spigot: i've had enough beers to know i don't want to go to school tomorrow, i want to stay on carl sagan's ship of the imagination and listen to vangelis spigot: can you show me where on the cosmic calendar where neil degrasse tyson touched you
spigot
#alcohol
#carl-sagan
#cosmos
#filler-panel
#neil-degrasse-tyson
#series
#spigot-solo
#vangelis
#woodring-stairs-background
7,411 7/5/2019 long long sagan pause
spigot: in episode 2 of cosmos, dr. sagan describes how the destruction of an ancient japanese society led to ladies of the imperial court reduced to selling flowers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . . . . . (long long sagan pause) . . . . . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . and . . . . . "other things"
spigot
#carl-sagan
#cosmos
#series
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
7,412 7/6/2019 excuse me but
pants: excuse me but i'm a bisexual masterpiece
pants
#bi
#bisexual
#high-res
#masterpiece
#pants
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#white-background
7,413 7/7/2019 where are all the reply guys
pants: so what do we get paid when somebody hearts our tweets spigot: i'm annoyed that there are never any comments, just useless hearts and RT's spigot: usually i hate all the shit takes in the comments, but these are our readers shit taking pants: where are all the reply guys deuce: Did you mean: _shittake_
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#did-you-mean
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#mousehole
#mushroom
#reply-guys
#spigot
#spurt
#twitter
#woodring-room-background
7,414 7/8/2019 down since sunday evening
spigot: my pants fell down, he exclaimed to three colleagues whose pants had been down since sunday evening
spigot
#nu-urinal-background
#pants
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#trousers
7,415 7/9/2019 stuff my bottom with leaves
pants: stuff my bottom with leaves deuce: now you are a flower pot
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#flower-pot
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
7,416 7/10/2019 FUCK TOM NOOK
pants: FUCK TOM NOOK deuce: I don't know who that is pants: you've seen his mugshot, google it deuce: oh, the famous terrorist pants: his most recent appeal to the supreme court failed, in guantanamo he will stay
deuce
pants
#animal-crossing
#balls
#blue-background
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gitmo
#tom-nook
7,417 7/11/2019 official bonequest app
spigot: where's the official bq app that takes your photo and draws FAG across the bottom with an up arrow
spigot
#app
#bonequest
#bq
#fag
#mountain-background
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#trap
7,418 7/12/2019 beat me off tonight
pants: beat me off tonight (let's say 6pm) deuce: just before your bedtime
deuce
pants
#beat-off
#bedtime
#deuce-pants
#eddie-money
#handjob
#single-panel
#white-background
7,419 7/13/2019 sour apples and ozone
deuce: why do I taste sour apples deuce: why do I smell ozone deuce: hurk 10 Sv absorbed dose deuce: roentgens or milliroentgens??? hurk
deuce
#cows
#deuce-solo
#filler-panel
#radiation
#uncredited-character
#woodring-stairs-background
7,420 7/14/2019 right in the mommyhole
pants: piss people deuce: is that "Piss, people!" as in "[Here is the] piss, people!" or "Piss, people!" as in "[You must now] piss, people!" or "piss people" as in people made of piss pants: it is people that have a shared interest in piss, similarly to party people deuce: so none of the above pants: right in the mommyhole
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#grammar
#mommyhole
#piss
#piss-people
#woodring-room-background
7,421 7/15/2019 why does it look like a pigtail
deuce: can we talk seriously now about your penis pants: k deuce: why does it look like a pigtail pants: only god can judge me deuce: oh he's going to do that like a bat out of a hell but that doesn't mean you're not required to answer the question was: re: pigtail (man is he going to go to town on you)
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#god
#grey-background
#penis
#was-re
7,422 7/16/2019 to all the times
deuce: `self.canonicalizer.canonicalize(filename)` deuce: I LIKE WORDS spigot: just a quick shoutout to all the times you sit on the toilet thinking you have only one guinness left but when you open the fridge you see a complete 4-pack
deuce
spigot
#alcohol
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#filename
#guinness
#java
#muppets
#spigot-points
#toilet
#woodring-stairs-background
7,423 7/17/2019 commercial break
pants: do you want to stand around and look bored while i try and gather enough enthusiasm to masturbate deuce: fuck yes!!!!! pants: we'll be right back after these messages
deuce
pants
#comic-chat
#deuce-pants
#irc
#masturbation
#woodring-field-background
7,424 7/18/2019 a place of silent reflection
pants: let's make the stall a place of silent reflection from now on
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#high-res
#single-panel
#true-detective
#urinal-background
7,425 7/19/2019 you might say that but
pants: you might say i struggle under low-light conditions effigy: you might say that I am "dishwasher safe"
effigy
pants
#coy-pants
#effigy
#effigy-pants
#pants
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
7,426 7/20/2019 could we request a clarification
pants: who wants to choke on some unspecified object deuce: could we request a clarification re: unspecified object pants: rather not deuce: I see pants: it's a surprise
deuce
pants
#choking
#deuce-pants
#yellow-background
7,427 7/21/2019 tricked again
pants: do all girls like having their dicks sucked or was i tricked again deuce: wait are we deuce: checks books, types things into an adding machine, writes down shit with pencil deuce: nope that checks out
deuce
pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#dickgirls
#traps
#ts
#woodring-room-background
7,428 7/22/2019 three steps ahead
spigot: why do i bring my A game to this moo/mud deuce: you're always thinking three steps ahead when your audience is only capable of 1/2, maybe 1 step pants: i was hoping for butter on safeway french bread
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce
#deuce-pants-spigot
#food
#high-res
#moo
#mud
#online-gaming
#pants
#safeway
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot
#white-background
7,429 7/23/2019 smoosh
spigot: t deuce may i speak with you spigot: i'm going to put my face right here just slightly above this paper plate full of dogshit spigot: and i ask that you please do n deuce: SMOOSH spigot: nvm deuce: here to help spigot: some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do withou deuce: SMOOSH spigot: k
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#dogshit
#physical-comedy
#smoosh
#spigot-points
#woodring-room-background
7,430 7/24/2019 across all possible universes
pants: `from pprint import pprint as print` pants: barfing on all cocks across all possible universes
pants
#barf
#cocks
#filler-panel
#pants-solo
#programming
#python
#roman-shower
#urinal-background
#vomit
7,431 7/25/2019 re: the universal solvent
deuce: piss: the universal solvent pants: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: piss spigot: hp wuvcraft
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#lovecraft
#piss
#urinal-background
7,432 7/26/2019 a little bit
spigot: may i be honest with you deuce: uh oh spigot: it feels like it might be for fags a little bit spigot: a little bit for fags
deuce
spigot
#be-gay-with-me
#deuce-spigot
#faggy
#fags
#mountain-background
#stall
7,433 7/27/2019 serious serious
pants: tell me I'm big deuce: it was tiny pants: can you at least please pretend that my wiener inspires fear deuce: I could barely see it pants: maybe dial nine and one and one and hover your thumb over the call button while maintaining serious serious eye contact deuce: are you even a dude
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dial-9
#micropenis
#woodring-stairs-background
7,434 7/28/2019 a medium-to-large plush minion
spigot: i would get a medium-to-large plush minion, stuff it down the toilet, then take a day off work while an expensive plumber describes the problem
spigot
#minions
#plumbing
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#toilet
#urinal-background
7,435 7/29/2019 five more minutes
spigot: okay i think it's time for some beers and then back to bed who's with me pants: i've done my part today spigot: that was a gay trap, get out of my bed pants: s-sorry spigot: you're not moving though pants: 5 more minutes
pants
spigot
#alcohol
#bed
#beer
#fag-trap
#mousehole
#pants-spigot
#spider-man
#trap
#woodring-room-background
7,436 7/30/2019 i feel love
effigy: I feel love deuce: it's just my wiener effigy: ah, that's it.
deuce
effigy
#blue-background
#deuce-effigy
#donna-summer
#gay
#uncle-sam
#wiener
7,437 7/31/2019 unguarded in the dogbert conference room
spigot: what if we both take a shit in a couple of hot dog buns and you leave them unguarded in the dogbert conference room
spigot
#dilbert
#hot-dogs
#scott-adams
#shit
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,438 8/1/2019 DURESS
deuce: blinking "DURESS" in Morse code while no one watches
deuce
#black-background
#deuce-solo
#high-res
#morse-code
#pow
#sfw
#single-panel
#vietnam
7,439 8/2/2019 what's that spell
spigot: H spigot: A spigot: M spigot: B spigot: U spigot: R spigot: G spigot: E spigot: R spigot: S
spigot
#filler-panel
#hamburgers
#sfw
#spelling
#spigot-solo
#white-background
7,440 8/3/2019 join me at siggraph
spigot: i drew a dick on a guy's face aimed at his mouth spigot: join me at siggraph
spigot
#dick
#filler-panel
#prank
#siggraph
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
7,441 8/4/2019 whatever
spigot: lol at spelling deuce: I DON'T KNOW THINGS
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#lol
#sfw
#single-panel
#spelling
#woodring-stairs-background
7,442 8/5/2019 I tease but I don't put out
deuce: I'm a partial eclipse deuce: in the sense that I tease but I don't put out
deuce
#astronomy
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#woodring-room-background
7,443 8/6/2019 dongbutter.js
spigot: a bunk bed for $1200/month ??????????? okay but only because i don't know angular.js pants: sorry but the new hotness is dongbutter.js and you need to know this framework (unzipping, dropping) deuce: where the $ global refers to your dong
deuce
pants
spigot
#bay-area
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dong
#dongbutter
#javascript
#programming
#single-panel
#urinal-background
7,444 8/7/2019 flushable applicator
spigot: i'm a flushable applicator spigot: kindly apply me then flush me spigot: surprise: i am not flushable spigot: hurrrkkk okay one more attempt i guess spigot: blblblblbl gllllkkk
spigot
#flushable
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
#tampon
7,445 8/8/2019 ten jumbo corn dogs
spigot: do you know what i would do with ten jumbo corn dogs right now spigot: dip them in various mustards !!!!!!! spigot: then nnnggg email wired some pix
spigot
#corn-dog
#food
#kitty
#nu-urinal-background
#spigot-solo
#wired
7,446 8/9/2019 day zero
spigot: on day zero of nofap everybody spigot: and that's the tea with a side of woke yikes yolos and yeets spigot: click here to take a shit
spigot
#bonequest-hi-fi
#click-here
#generation-z
#nofap
#spigot-solo
#woke
#woodring-room-background
#yeet
#yikes
#yolo
#zoomers
7,447 8/10/2019 sworn an oath to fight you
deuce: you are othering my balls deuce: which is actually probably a good idea since they have sworn an oath to fight you
deuce
#balls
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#knock-knock
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
7,448 8/11/2019 trucks and detours and jackhammering
spigot: trucks and detours and jackhammering at 3am while installing my star on the bonequest walk of fame spigot: F A G F A C E spigot: that wascally wapist
spigot
#elmer-fudd
#hollywood
#rape
#spigot-solo
#walk-of-fame
#woodring-field-background
7,449 8/12/2019 grand canyon
spigot: i went to the bottom of the grand canyon spigot: i had to go down on a donkey
spigot
#bestiality
#donkey
#fellatio
#filler-panel
#grand-canyon
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
#wordplay
7,450 8/13/2019 my corduroy pants
pants: pray with me (down here, on your knees) deuce: that's a puddle of piss pants: ignore that deuce: it'll get my corduroy pants all messy
deuce
pants
#church
#deuce-pants
#piss
#prayer
#religion
#woodring-room-background
7,451 8/14/2019 will the word salad stop
pants: please shoot my brain deuce: if I shoot your brain will the word salad stop deuce: because I'm not sure that's where it's coming from pants: same, same
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#violence
#woodring-field-background
7,452 8/15/2019 if you're blue
spigot: if you're blue spigot: and you don't know spigot: where to go to spigot: why don't you go spigot: where fashion sits spigot: gianna michaels' tits spigot: piss
spigot
#filler-panel
#gianna-michaels
#gianna-michaels-tits
#gmt
#porn
#puttin-on-the-ritz
#singing
#spigot-solo
#taco
#white-background
7,453 8/16/2019 i'm a beautiful butterfly
deuce: I'm a beautiful butterfly deuce: won't you fucking step on me
deuce
#butterfly
#crush
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#woodring-field-background
7,454 8/17/2019 JEAN-CHARLES YOU ARE FLOATING IN SPACE
pants: YOU HAVE RUINED THE QUEEN'S SURPRISE BIRTHDAY, YOU FOOL spigot: THEY WILL NEVER SEE ME IN THE HOTEL WITH THIS OUTRAGEOUS DISGUISE pants: OH MY GOODNESS THE TOILET IS OVERFLOWING spigot: HOW CAN YOU STACK THE CHEESES SO HIGH, THEY WILL SURELY TOPPLE pants: I SHOULD NEVER HAVE EATEN ALL THAT BRIE spigot: THE PASTRIES ARE COMING TOO FAST DOWN THE CHUTE (I MUST CATCH THEM ALL AND YET I AM DRUNK WITH WINE)
pants
spigot
#birthday-strip
#jean-charles
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#toilet
#woodring-stairs-background
7,455 8/18/2019 how much for the t-shirt
spigot: how much for the t-shirt with the minion making the dreamworks face and the word science!!!!!! under it
spigot
#minions
#science
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#t-shirt
#woodring-stairs-background
7,456 8/19/2019 all pain letters
spigot: bbbbbbbbb shitting a b just as hard as shitting a p deuce: but a B is easier than a P deuce: ..................... OR IS IT ?!?!?!? spigot: a B would hurt then not hurt then hurt, at least with a b you get the hurt over with early deuce: well the b (or p or P) can get stuck spigot: don't get me started on the Y deuce: ANALYZING THE SHAPE WITH COMPUTER MODELING SOFTWARE deuce: SEEING HOW IT WOULD PASS THROUGH A COLORECTAL AREA spigot: the T deuce: J, K, X, Z: all pain letters spigot: give a lowercase i any day deuce: does the dot break off or no deuce: $ is like a fucking anchor deuce: IT'LL GET PURCHASE IN THERE AND JUST NEVER COME OUT deuce: this is one of our stranger conversations (and that's saying something) spigot: saving as pdf
deuce
spigot
#alphabet
#bonus-content
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#letters
#shit
7,457 8/20/2019 someone over there
deuce: someone over there is gay spigot: certainly not me
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#gay
#mousehole
#not-gay
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
7,458 8/21/2019 cordially invited
spigot: folks you're cordially invited to a night of black mold and asbestos and dehydration and suffocation
spigot
#countdown
#folks
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
7,459 8/22/2019 pop pop pop
spigot: can i do squirts in the squat rack deuce: POP POP POP don't worry it's a nailgun POP POP POP
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#diarrhea
#gun
#gym
#mousehole
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
7,460 8/23/2019 are you ready to rock
pants: are you ready 2 rock deuce: could use 30, 40 minutes pants: actually could we rock tomorrow night instead pants: yeah tomorrow is better for me too (4 me 2) pants: i'm better to rock after a fresh night's sleep and a shower and a mug of cocoa deuce: what about a good dump pants: no you must hold it in until it hurts and then wait some more deuce: i see
deuce
pants
#boner
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#rock
#scheduling
#weird-pants-face
7,461 8/24/2019 really really really
spigot: i really really really spigot: don't want to be that guy spigot: but spigot: fags of our fathers
spigot
#films
#kitty
#meow
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,462 8/25/2019 because it's sunday
spigot: if you show an unlicked dick in act one it better not be licked by act three because it's sunday and the bus only runs once an hour so i won't be there until act four thirty
spigot
#chekhov
#chekhovs-dick
#dicklicking
#gark
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
7,463 8/26/2019 it's not easy
spigot: it's not easy / licking dick spigot: it is for me but / probably not so much / for you
spigot
#bug-report
#dicklicking
#frog
#green-background
#not-easy-being-green
#singing
#spigot-solo
7,464 8/27/2019 what order
pants: what order should i watch black mirror in??? spigot: just please stop calling me
pants
spigot
#black-mirror
#buzzwords
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#quick-call
#single-panel
7,465 8/28/2019 bash my face
spigot: bash my face / with a dog food can
spigot
#black-background
#high-res
#lune
#poetry
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
7,466 8/29/2019 do you seriously
spigot: do you seriously not sell fleshlights longer than a fish tube
pants
spigot
#fishtube
#fleshlight
#pants-spigot
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
7,467 8/30/2019 completely normal
deuce: hey check out my dick pants: that is a completely normal dick deuce: dick type: STANDARD
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dick
#taxonomy
#urinal-background
7,468 8/31/2019 concur
effigy: mmmmm pants: gluh effigy: concur pants: hhhhh effigy: I THINK WE HAVE A QUORUM
effigy
pants
#effigy-pants
#flappity-bat
#hhhhh
#no-fat-chicks
#quorum
#teal-background
#weird-pants-face
7,469 9/1/2019 hands up
spigot: hands up who can punch me in the face and shoe me in the sack
spigot
#nuts-of-spigot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#violence
#woodring-field-background
7,470 9/2/2019 literally all
spigot: literally all the characters in star wars are gay
spigot
#alcohol
#gay
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#star-wars
#urinal-background
7,471 9/3/2019 beating off on the moon
spigot: who's been beating off on the moon deuce: mcdonalds
deuce
spigot
#beating-off
#deuce-spigot
#logo
#mcdonalds
#moon
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
7,472 9/4/2019 ice cream and candy
pants: do u want 2 do things 2 me deuce: i do pants: feed me ice cream and candy deuce: will do pants: get back to me when you can
deuce
pants
#be-gay-with-me
#deuce-pants
#fatness
#food
#ghetto-u
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
7,473 9/5/2019 coming up
spigot: ***sob*** why can't someone dab on them haters????? spigot: seriously though where are all the hater dabbers spigot: coming up: a complimentary dab from me personally to all the haters out there hating spigot: HURRRNK spigot: i threw my back out
spigot
#asterisks
#dab
#haters
#mountain-background
#spigot-solo
7,474 9/6/2019 omg fuh
dick: uh deuce: omg pants: fuh spigot: unsubscribe
deuce
dick
pants
spigot
#black-background
#deuce-dick-pants-spigot
#high-res
#mailing-list
#sfw
#shrug
#single-panel
7,475 9/7/2019 at my worst
spigot: if you can't handle me at my worst you can't fondle me on my nuts
spigot
#nuts
#nuts-of-spigot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
7,476 9/8/2019 backwards into the artwork
spigot: jean-charles you have fallen backwards into the artwork pants: literally bailey jay'd
pants
spigot
#bailey-jay
#clomp
#farts
#jean-charles
#pants-spigot
#porn
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
7,477 9/9/2019 this is the zodiac speaking
spigot: this is the zodiac speaking spigot: guess we're playin' phone tag
spigot
#antacid
#phone-call
#serial-killers
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#white-background
#zantac
#zodiac-killer
7,478 9/10/2019 suck it no please yes
spigot: suck it deuce: no spigot: please deuce: yes spigot: BHAOBHR)E(UBN{W($&@$*T}_@*}
deuce
spigot
#cocksucking
#deuce-spigot
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
7,479 9/11/2019 thanks
deuce: that's an awful lot of boring shit, thanks
deuce
#bonequest-hi-fi
#boring
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#frys-electronics
#shit
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
7,480 9/12/2019 mockable
deuce: do not mock my balls (even though they are very mockable)
deuce
#balls
#deuce-solo
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
7,481 9/13/2019 cave rescue
spigot: to protect and to squirt spigot: fine i will download pbs nova: thai cave rescue (2018) but it's going in the trash if anyone has their shirt off
spigot
#pbs
#spigot-solo
#squirt
#woodring-room-background
7,482 9/14/2019 wet carpet
deuce: NOW MY CARPET IS WET pants: same
deuce
pants
#carpet
#deuce-pants
#grey-background
#hi-fi
#sfw
#single-panel
#wetness
7,483 9/15/2019 and i miss my brothers
pants: OH GOD IT'S EATING ME pants: DANGLING ME BY MY LEG PRECARIOUSLY OVER HIS MOUTH AND JAWS pants: OH WHY AM I NOT DYING
pants
#pants-solo
#vore
#woodring-field-background
7,484 9/16/2019 speak up and spit it out
pants: for instance pants: you might say pants: i walked past the drug store
pants
#drug-store
#hi-fi
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-den-background
7,485 9/17/2019 horn section
effigy: I need a horn section spigot: i.e. an erection
effigy
spigot
#effigy-spigot
#erection
#horn-section
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
7,486 9/18/2019 hey space
spigot: hey space: make something that doesn't look like dog shit spigot: hey universe: the cat box called, it wants those galaxies back spigot: hey neil degrasse tyson: (hangs up because it's a crank call) spigot: hello spigot: i said more like neil degrabs ladies
spigot
#aids
#bonequest-hi-fi
#neil-degrasse-tyson
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
7,487 9/19/2019 flop
pants: flop pants: sorry pants: flop pants: sorry not sorry pants: flop pants: leaving them down pants: waddling everywhere
pants
#exhibitionism
#flop
#mountain-background
#pants
#pants-solo
#sfw
#sorry
7,488 9/20/2019 let us dance
pants: haulghalhgluahlg i am pants deuce: greetings pants deuce: I am [name redacted] pants: let us dance
deuce
pants
#blue-background
#dance
#deuce-pants
#redacted
#sfw
7,489 9/21/2019 framing it, signing it
pants: printing an 24x18 picture of myself, framing it, signing it with a silver pen, wrapping it, merry christmas pants: smiling, thumbs up
pants
#deja-vu
#pants-solo
#teal-background
7,490 9/22/2019 sound of balls
spigot: LET'S ALL PUT OUR BALLS TOGETHER FOR SPIGOT deuce: HONK BONK HONK BONK spigot: SLAP BONK DUH BOOT deuce: (SOUND OF BALLS)
deuce
spigot
#balls
#bonk
#deuce-spigot
#honk
#honkbonk
#norton
#nuts-of-spigot
#orange-background
#spigot-points
7,491 9/23/2019 throwing up hands
deuce: WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU GODDAMN LEAVING atandt: THIS IS MY HOME NOW deuce: I SAID OUT
atandt
deuce
#atandt-deuce
#atandt-deuce-disconnect
#fighting-irish-pose
#home
#woodring-room-background
7,492 9/24/2019 fuhgeddaboudit
spigot: fuggeddabobtbuubouggbtpptpbpitiit spigot: seriously just let it go
spigot
#italian
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#yellow-background
7,493 9/25/2019 put them here
pants: COCKS deuce: PUT THEM HERE deuce: <--------------
deuce
pants
#cocks
#deuce-pants
#woodring-stairs-background
7,494 9/26/2019 okay then
spigot: HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / HERE WE GO / AGAIN spigot: GIRLS WHAT'S MY WEAKNESS / MATH spigot: ALSO I TALK DURING SHOWS
spigot
#salt-n-pepa
#shoop
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
7,495 9/27/2019 for instance
spigot: INSTEAD OF BASHING GAYS ALL THE TIME YOU COULD TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS spigot: FOR INSTANCE MY BALLS ARE BOTH TENDER spigot: *HURF* KICKING
spigot
#nu-urinal-background
#nuts-of-spigot
#spigot-solo
#violence
7,496 9/28/2019 a dystopian sci-fi future
deuce: if you look closely you'll see the biggest problem is that there's a woman in the captain's chair pants: a dystopian sci-fi future
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#frog
#misogyny
#science-fiction
#sfw
#single-panel
#space-nuts-background
#star-trek
#women
7,497 9/29/2019 cool like dat
spigot: K O Y A A N I S Q U I R T S I spigot: how about just tits without the woman bolted on spigot: am i being detained pants: sir please roll down your window
pants
spigot
#california
#movies
#pants-spigot
#philip-glass
#police
#white-background
#women
7,498 9/30/2019 remix me
pants: remix me deuce: stuffing you in a shoe pants: hurray i'm a sock
deuce
pants
#bay-area
#deuce-pants
#remix
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
7,499 10/1/2019 hundreds of notarized documents
deuce > <Meow Mix jingle> pants > well now i have to poo deuce > well me too but you don't see me bragging about it do you!!!!!!! (cut to hundreds of notarized documents indicating that I clearly have done so) pants > lawyers in a boardroom with lawyers of their own, ordering chinese food late at night, rolling up their sleeves, hashing out the details
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#hypocrisy
#lawyers
#poo
#urinal-background
7,500 10/2/2019 a vase a face (a clone wars saga)
pants: a vase ??????????? pants: two faces ??????????? pants: you first
pants
#multipants
#multiplicity
#pants-pants
#rubin-vase
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
7,501 10/3/2019 it's called
spigot: it's called wewank and it's a bunch of cubes
spigot
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#wank
#wework
#woodring-room-background
7,502 10/4/2019 i'm not after your money
spigot: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I'M NOT AFTER YOUR MONEY, YOUR MONEY IS PROTECTE spigot: BANG spigot: dammit
spigot
#bang
#crime
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#violence
#woodring-room-background
7,503 10/5/2019 let's not get carried away
pants: acknowledge my right to exist deuce: let's not get carried away here pants: pissing brings me joy (and piss)
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#piss
#piss-trough-background
7,504 10/6/2019 squeeze my nuts
spigot: you don't squeeze my nuts during blowjobs anymore pants: maybe instead one could put the succ into succulent (say aloud in ed kemper voice) spigot: you must have ballzheimers pants: from now on just say everything aloud as kemper
pants
spigot
#balls
#blowjob
#ed-kemper
#nuts
#nuts-of-spigot
#pants-spigot
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
7,505 10/7/2019 only allowed
spigot: you're only allowed to call it sucking cock if it's happening in the cocksucking region of france
spigot
#champagne
#cocksucking
#france
#high-res
#protected-designation-of-origin
#single-panel
#sparkling-fellatio
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,506 10/8/2019 anger issues part 1
pants: punch pants: pow pants: crawlspace pants: barrel pants: desert
pants
#crime
#murder
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
7,507 10/9/2019 anger issues part 2
pants: i literally wanted to see what i looked like sad pants: also the elevator down took a long time pants: no i'm fine to chat
pants
#elevator
#filename
#pants-solo
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-field-background
7,508 10/10/2019 pouring one out
deuce: hat on heart pants: pouring one out pants: immediately regretting it pants: lapping it up off the floor
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#libations
#respects
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-room-background
7,509 10/11/2019 putting down ten
spigot: i only sucked one dick today but i'm putting down ten spigot: stolen valor
spigot
#cocksucking
#dick
#fraud
#spigot-solo
#stolen-valor
#white-background
7,510 10/12/2019 sexual congress
pants: pound me into the sand deuce: touch / dicks pants: the motherfucking fucking boss deuce: sexual congress
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#gay
#huffy-pants
#nu-urinal-background
#politics
7,511 10/13/2019 kickstarter
pants: kickstarter to put a UI on the bonequest game???????? $900,000,000?????????????? deuce: better ask for a cool $9,000,000,000 deuce: go big or go home pants: home deuce: also my preference, yes pants: home is comfortable and snacks are there deuce: also chairs, couches, cats, bed pants: all the good things
deuce
pants
#cats
#deuce-pants
#food
#home
#kickstarter
#mountain-background
#sfw
7,512 10/14/2019 adventure
pants: we're going on an adventure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: NO WE'RE NOT pants: adventure!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: no i said it was far and boring deuce: i know you heard me because you repeated what i said in song pants: ***adventure***
deuce
pants
#adventure
#asterisks
#deuce-pants
#minecraft-background
#musical
#sfw
7,513 10/15/2019 some amount
pants: some amount of public masturbation is tolerable yes or no deuce: depends on who's doing it pants: me deuce: totes fine then
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#masturbation
#urinal-background
7,514 10/16/2019 rubbing the penis
pants: no one should use the body of an 05:04 pants: unwilling partner for their own pleasure 05:06 pants: unprotected and unplanned sexual 05:09 pants: intercourse is wrong and no one need 05:13 pants: allow anyone to touch their bodies if 05:15 pants: they do not want them to 05:15 pants: we may not 05:19 pants: always succeed in reaching the trainees 05:22 pants: we must always try 05:32 pants: [Music] 05:48 pants: [Music] 05:48
pants
#dj-rapekit
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#rape
#sex
#sex-education
#timestamp
#weird-pants-face
7,515 10/17/2019 have you heard the
spigot: beep boop buttplug delivery spigot: sir your buttplug is here spigot: folks got a sec spigot: ladies and gents have you heard the spigot: GET YOUR RED HOT BUTTPLUGS
spigot
#buttplug
#folks
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
7,516 10/18/2019 horny on main
spigot: if just one person hears this and licks a dick it will all be worth it pants: horny on main pants: what i thought were crispy delicious hot egg rolls were actually limp translucent ice cold spring rolls deuce: spring rolls are vaguely tolerable but NOT IF YOU THINK THEY'RE EGG ROLLS in which case they're the most horrible thing ever to happen to mankind pants: there can never be peace
deuce
pants
spigot
#black-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicklicking
#drunk-deuce
#egg-rolls
#food
#mankind
#peace
#spring-rolls
#twitter
7,517 10/19/2019 in a just world
spigot: do you think jake steed and byron long are friends in real life deuce: they would be in a just world
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#grey-background
#porn
#single-panel
7,518 10/20/2019 two words
spigot: two words: spigot: complete bay area news coverage mornings on @@
spigot
#bay-area
#caption
#spigot-solo
#spigot-the-bear
#url
#viscera
#white-background
7,519 10/21/2019 fill out this form
spigot: FILL OUT THIS FORM IF YOU HAVE ANY DIETARY RESTRICTIONS!!!!! GLUTEN / VEGAN spigot: where's the dropdown for all the foods i think are just fucking gross a.k.a all the food you intend to serve up spigot: folks as a team activity we're going to poo on the street and pop it in the microwave
spigot
#diet
#folks
#form
#gluten-free
#poo
#spigot-solo
#team-building-exercise
#vegan
#woodring-stairs-background
7,520 10/22/2019 what has science ever done for us
pants: are all cowboys gay or just the ones i see in movies, on tv, riding horses, mending fences deuce: it is possible that there exists a non-gay cowboy but science has yet to discover one pants: pffft what does science know
deuce
pants
#cowboy
#deuce-pants
#gay
#not-gay
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
7,521 10/23/2019 cosine of the heart
spigot: did xkcd ever figure out the cosine of the {{{heart}}} or did he get aids from a million bleeding aids dicks
spigot
#aids
#autism
#diss
#mountain-background
#shots-fired
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#xkcd
7,522 10/24/2019 rolling the boulders
pants: have we tried rolling the boulders over the homeless people
pants
#coy-pants
#homeless
#pants-solo
#penis
#rolling-stones
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background-2
7,523 10/25/2019 right out of the o
spigot: more like feynman diarrhea grams spigot: did you know in england they get diarrhoea spigot: it squirts right out of the o spigot: maybe feynman can look into that o-ring for once spigot: instead of being so bo-ring
deuce
spigot
#challenger-explosion
#deuce-spigot
#diarrhea
#diarrhoea
#england
#feynman
#no-comment
#o-ring
#woodring-field-background
7,524 10/26/2019 redshirts, blueshirts, yellowshirts
deuce: murder them all??? pants: just the ones in red shirts pants: blue shirts get handjobs, yellow shirts get half-and-half
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#handjob
#murder
#space-nuts-background
#star-trek
7,525 10/27/2019 more pudding please
spigot: is there any pudding pants: no spigot: what about pudding my balls in your mouth spigot: just pudding it out there
pants
spigot
#balls
#jean-charles
#nuts-of-spigot
#pants-spigot
#pudding
#pun
#woodring-field-background
7,526 10/28/2019 these are the jokes
spigot: waiter there's a condom in my diarrhea spigot: these are the jokes you fucking queers spigot: can i get a bigger mic
spigot
#comedy
#condom
#dick
#empty-auditorium-background
#failed-comedy
#jokes
#queer
#spigot-solo
7,527 10/29/2019 breaking y key
pants: want to watch me piss on a mop y/n deuce: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (breaking y key)
deuce
pants
#deuce-spigot
#keyboard-breaking
#mop
#olive-garden
#piss
#pissmop
#white-background
#y-n
7,528 10/30/2019 hope someday
spigot: hope someday i can fuck a real flashlight
spigot
#aspirations
#blue-background
#bonequest-hi-fi
#fleshlight
#goals
#high-res
#spigot-solo
7,529 10/31/2019 test drive
pants: why not just pop it in your mouth for a test drive, to see how you like it
deuce
pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#test-drive
#woodring-room-background
7,530 11/1/2019 time to celebrate
pants: time to celebrate with frosty chocolate handjobs^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hmilkshakes deuce: wait wait wait deuce: go back one word pants: would you prefer strawberry pants: as i get older i appreciate vanilla more, it's a complex flavor pants: when i was younger it meant flavorless to me deuce: vanilla's good
deuce
pants
#backspace
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#handjob
#huffy-pants
#milkshake
#mountain-background
#vanilla
#weird-pants-face
7,531 11/2/2019 are we not horses
pants: are we not horses deuce: I'd say we are horse-like
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#devo
#horse
#horses
#sfw
#white-background
7,532 11/3/2019 it'll grow back
pants: don't make me think pants: just do what i ask pants: ow ow ow okay don't do ow exactly what i ask ow ow use common sense ow ow ow it'll grow back ow
pants
#jean-charles
#ow
#pants-solo
#sfw
#urinal-background
7,533 11/4/2019 something noisy and brash
deuce: could you assist me in my beatoff explorations pants: are you seeking a quiet shady place or perhaps sir would like something noisy and brash
deuce
pants
#beatoff
#deuce-pants
#frank-pentangeli
#huffy-pants
#urinal-background
7,534 11/5/2019 on fire
spigot: my foot is on fire but everyone thinks it's leaves
spigot
#fire
#foot
#leaves
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
7,535 11/6/2019 three-dimensional
deuce: YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL LAWS DO NOT APPLY TO US
deuce
#3d
#deuce-solo
#sfw
#yellow-background
7,536 11/7/2019 in my defense
pants: in my defense I was trying to fuck the bong deuce: do you really think that matters to the bong
deuce
pants
#bonequest-hi-fi
#bong
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#fuck
#grey-background
#knock-knock
7,537 11/8/2019 glitter, beer batter
spigot: are you sure i can't dunk my dong in glitter and deep fry it in beer batter
spigot
#beer
#deep-frying
#dong
#dunking
#glitter
#grey-background
#hi-fi
#spigot-solo
7,538 11/9/2019 a stone cold bummer
deuce: can I just get paid and not do any work plz pants: is sucking dick work deuce: yes pants: that's a stone cold bummer man
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#dicklicking
#stone-cold-bummer
#weird-pants-face
#white-background
7,539 11/10/2019 what
spigot: what do you call a gay parking lot?? spigot: a ***lot*** of dicks to suck on
pants
spigot
#asterisks
#cocksucking
#comedy
#dicks
#gay
#pants-spigot
#stray-dot
#woodring-stairs-background
7,540 11/11/2019 alvin simon and theodore
spigot: WE'RE LIKE ALVIN SIMON AND THEODORE STORING NUTS IN OUR CHEEKS FOR THE WINTER spigot: WHAT'S BROWN AND SITS ON A PIANO BENCH spigot: BEETHOVEN'S FIRST MOVEMENT spigot: WHAT'S BROWN AND IN THE ARMY spigot: GOMER'S PYLE spigot: WHAT'S BROWN AND HIDES FROM NAZIS spigot: THE DIARRHEA OF ANNE FRANK spigot: WHAT'S BROWN AND SITS AT HOME UNEMPLOYED deuce: Oh, dear spigot: YOU AND THEN SOMETHING POO RELATED
deuce
spigot
#chipmunks
#comedy
#comedy-gold
#drunk-deuce
#funny-jokes
#jokes
#poo
#spigot-points
#url
#woodring-field-background
7,541 11/12/2019 i'm with you on this one
spigot: PLUH PTHTH PUH URINE deuce: HURRAY FOR DICKS pants: I'M WITH YOU ON THIS ONE
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicks
#mousehole
#piss
#urine
#woodring-room-background
7,542 11/13/2019 this just in
spigot: AREA MAN LIKES DICK
spigot
#dick
#mountain-background
#news-flash
#spigot-solo
#this-just-in
7,543 11/14/2019 euphoric and sleepy
deuce: I ALWAYS FEEL EUPHORIC AND SLEEPY AFTER A GOOD LONG JERK pants: WERE YOU JERKED OR DID YOU DO THE JERKING deuce: NUMBER TWO BUT I USED MY LEFT HAND (SO IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE)
deuce
pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#handjob
#jerking
#the-stranger
#tired
#urinal-background
7,544 11/15/2019 can we peek
pants: can we peek in the box to see if the kitty is okay deuce: if you do then you will destroy the Universe
deuce
pants
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce-pants
#kitty
#quantum
#schrodingers-cat
#schroedingers-cat
#sfw
#space-nuts-background
7,545 11/16/2019 hanging from the rafters
pants: <color = "pink">SISTERS RESIST</pink> pants: i, sex pest pants: molecatchers unite pants: honk honk get out of the street pants: how fun it is for you (to slap my dick around) pants: i'm a boys medium pants: gen-x post-punks!!!!!!!!!!! bi but not curious pants: dizzy, more dizzy
pants
#chico-ray
#coy-pants
#funloving-nonsense
#gen-x
#ghost
#ghosts
#grrrl
#honk
#pants-solo
#punk
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-field-background
7,546 11/17/2019 news
spigot: come on you guys it's news spigot: what's cooler and more interesting than the news deuce: t spigot dicks deuce: t spigot horses deuce: t spigot paint deuce: t spigot rice deuce: t spigot do you want more exammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#horse
#news
#woodring-stairs-background
7,547 11/18/2019 i'm here to say
spigot: well i got a big erection / i'm here to say spigot: did you hear all about spigot: my big erection
spigot
#boner
#erection
#frog
#mousehole
#singing
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
7,548 11/19/2019 general chaos ensues
deuce: blackouts for three weeks, riots, general chaos ensues
deuce
#black-background
#blackout
#chaos
#deuce-solo
#sfw
7,549 11/20/2019 kitty opinions
deuce: t pants can you explain to me why the phrase kitty opinions is in neither BONEBASE/1 nor BoneQuest (arms folded) pants: are love and piss the same thing deuce: no but they are closely intertwined (with piss drops) pants: mmm so hot
deuce
pants
#bonequest
#cvs
#database
#deuce-pants
#love
#piss
#white-background
7,550 11/21/2019 you know who'd
spigot: you know who'd make a great joker: chester cheetah spigot: he pulls out his saxophone all cool as shit, crowd claps spigot: does a few numbers and then says it ain't easy being cheesy and everyone claps spigot: pulls out a cheeto and makes it look like a tiny penis and waggles it, clapping continues spigot: then he's all: I WAS JOKING spigot: not just spitballing here spigot: i approved it during this conversation and assembled the assets myself spigot: and launched the campaign and we're live
spigot
#cheetos
#chester-cheetah
#joker
#mountain-background
#piss
#spigot-solo
#tiny-penis
7,551 11/22/2019 simply nothing more to be said
spigot: when cj cregg did the jackal she diminished the office of the presidency, and there is simply nothing more to be said about it spigot: fucking big bird
spigot
#sesame-street
#spigot-solo
#westwing
#woodring-room-background
7,552 11/23/2019 we really want to do something
spigot: We really want to do something so we aren't just the girls who Louis C.K. masturbated in front of
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dildo
#louis-ck
#masturbation
#sexual-harassment
#urinal-background
7,553 11/24/2019 sunday squirts
spigot: saturday!!!!!!!!! spigot: should i poo in my pants ???? or poo in your pants spigot: stop shitting yourself / stop shitting yourself spigot: hurrrrrrr the sunday squirts spigot: mondays
spigot
#poo
#spigot-solo
#weekend
#whisper
#yellow-background
7,554 11/25/2019 an honest liar
spigot: HOW WOULD THAT EVEN BE POSSIBLE ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I CALL ****BULLSHIT**** spigot: UM, SKEPTIC HERE spigot: hand on hip spigot: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO spigot: cheesecake girlfriend spigot: i told carson i'd uri his geller spigot: not invited back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly that was a lie spigot: M I N D B L O W N
spigot
#asterisks
#liar
#skeptic
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
7,555 11/26/2019 feet-first
pants: suck it and punch it pants: run away, hide under the trailer, get pulled out feet-first by state police pants: it's my cousin's car
pants
#cocksucking
#pants-solo
#trailer-trash
#woodring-field-background
7,556 11/27/2019 coffee in the morning
spigot: i don't drink coffee in the morning cause i don't want to be up all day
spigot
#coffee
#high-res
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
7,557 11/28/2019 apt-get
deuce: I install my dick in /opt
deuce
#deuce-solo
#dick
#linux
#mountain-background
#unix
7,558 11/29/2019 what it's like
pants: it's like cocaine for the nose spigot: it's like an enema for the behind
pants
spigot
#blue-background
#cocaine
#drugs
#enema
#failed-similies
#pants-spigot
#sfw
7,559 11/30/2019 halfway down
spigot: officially halfway down to my goal weight of ten thousand pounds
spigot
#diversity
#fatness
#feet-above-floor
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#weight-loss
#woodring-den-background
7,560 12/1/2019 barely making it to the toilet
dick: urgh pants: barely making it to the toilet, making a huge mess anyway
dick
pants
#dick-pants
#poo
#toilet
#woodring-stairs-background
7,561 12/2/2019 bedtime
spigot: welps time to once again turn off the lights and get comfy in bed and close my eyes and let police interrogations on youtube lull me to sleep
spigot
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
#youtube
7,562 12/3/2019 hoo hoo
spigot: come for the bone, stay for the quest spigot: you put the cock sock / right on my dong / hoo / hoo spigot: sucking dick, next donahue
spigot
#bonequest
#cock-sock
#cocksucking
#dick
#donahue
#dong
#grey-background
#singing
#spigot-solo
#television
7,563 12/4/2019 a big wide world
deuce: shake yo titties pants: an unknown number of stupid little titties deuce: unspecified but almost certainly not zero and probably not exactly one pants: it's a big wide world of titties out there deuce: beyond that, unknown pants: so many titties
deuce
pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#ice-cube
#math
#titties
#woodring-field-background
7,564 12/5/2019 while supplies last
spigot: folks i'm licking dick at participating locations while supplies last
spigot
#dicklicking
#folks
#marketing
#promotion
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
7,565 12/6/2019 words you can't say
spigot: turns out there are words you can't say anymore deuce: in my day we had normal fonts and faggot fonts and literally that was it
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#faggot
#fonts
#woodring-stairs-background
7,566 12/7/2019 trannypants
pants: i want to be a woman spigot: unsubscribe pants: are you sure you want to unsubscribe from trannypants season 1 spigot: yes i would like to unsubscribe pants: no problem, it will take 7-10 business days spigot: fine pants: ... spigot: ... pants: Trannypants now streaming on Netflix, Amazon Prime
pants
spigot
#amazon
#amazon-prime
#dick
#huffy-pants
#netflix
#pants-spigot
#tranny
#unsubscribe
#woodring-field-background
7,567 12/8/2019 one damn thing after another
spigot: six months ago my doctor informed me my ass is haunted spigot: six months ago my doctor informed me my ass is haunted spigot: today my balls keep going boo spigot: not a great Q4 deuce: it's just one damn thing after another spigot: may i take a candy cane deuce: You've used 100% of your 1024 GB monthly data plan.
deuce
spigot
#ass
#candy
#cellular-phone
#data-plan
#funloving-nonsense
#ghosts
#haunted
#jean-charles
#nuts-of-spigot
#somber-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
7,568 12/9/2019 on a planet made of dog shit
spigot: how about darth vader uses baby yoda as a fleshlight on a planet made of dog shit
spigot
#baby-yoda
#darth-vader
#dogshit
#fleshlight
#spigot-solo
#star-wars
#urinal-background
7,569 12/10/2019 the 3 stages of viewing pornography
spigot: fuckin' fuck yes spigot: super pleased over here spigot: turning vacation responder on
spigot
#mousehole
#porn
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
7,570 12/11/2019 painting minatures
pants: i can't wait to paint minatures and suck dick deuce: and you're all out of miniatures pants: also paint, brushes, newspaper to protect the table surface
deuce
pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#miniatures
#mountain-background
7,571 12/12/2019 sober
spigot: yeah i'm sober spigot: s.ucking spigot: o.n spigot: b.ig spigot: er.ections
spigot
#acronym
#cocksucking
#drugs
#sobriety
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
#wordplay
7,572 12/13/2019 chest pains
deuce: hurrrk chest pains pants: clutching my heart, falling to my knees, sucking people off while i'm down there
deuce
pants
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#heart-attack
#jean-charles
#jizz
#woodring-field-background
7,573 12/14/2019 smoke in the cockpit
deuce: THIS IS DEUCE AIRLINES 142, DECLARING PAN PAN PAN, WE HAVE SMOKE IN THE COCKPIT AND DIARRHEA IN MY SHORTS deuce: SAN FRANCISCO TOWER, THIS IS DEUCE AIRLINES 142, NOW DECLARING AN EMERGENCY, MY SHORTS HAVE BREACHED I REPEAT MY SHORTS HAVE BREACHED deuce: WE HAVE DIARRHEA IN THE COCKPIT
deuce
#airplane
#atc
#blue-background
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce-solo
#diarrhea
#emergency
#pan-pan
#san-francisco
#sfo
7,574 12/15/2019 bring him to me
pants: bring me the jizz monkey deuce: he's busy pants: k
deuce
pants
#bonequest-hi-fi
#deuce-pants
#jizz
#monkey
#white-background
7,575 12/16/2019 ship manifest
spigot: ship manifest reveals 200 dongs on board
spigot
#dongs
#jean-charles
#packing-list
#ship
#shipping
#space-nuts-background
#spigot-solo
#transportation
7,576 12/17/2019 what kind of man
pants: What kind of man gets so drunk in Las Vegas that he wakes up with a hangover??? I would say a rugged, handsome man with a big dick
pants
#behind-the-scenes
#black-background
#pants-solo
#start-menu
#title-mismatch
7,577 12/18/2019 blogging and vlogging
deuce: I tweet my shits deuce: I keep a log of logs deuce: blogging and vlogging while I log my logs spigot: turns out guys can squirt
deuce
spigot
#deuce-spigot
#mousehole
#shit
#squirt
#twitter
#woodring-room-background
7,578 12/19/2019 the good stuff
pants: the good stuff deuce: <Barney Fife sniff> spigot: how come you know all the pokemons but you can't seem to remember my pronoun
deuce
pants
spigot
#america
#barney-fife
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#grey-background
#pokemon
#pronouns
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
7,579 12/20/2019 no reason in particular
pants: keep your eye on my balls deuce: are they about to do something amazi-- pants: no reason in particular, I just think they're neat
deuce
pants
#balls
#deuce-pants
#white-background
7,580 12/21/2019 mom says
pants: mom says you have to beat me off deuce: that doesn't sound like mom
deuce
pants
#beating-off
#black-background
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#masturbation
#mom
#wide-load
7,581 12/22/2019 nobody's dead
pants: whatcha got down there pants: nothing pants: you're dead pants: i mean nobody's dead pants: let's go out to dinner pants: ow you're pushing me pants: you're hurting my arm pants: bye
pants
#pants-solo
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
#white-background
7,582 12/23/2019 been super busy
spigot: toon in each monday!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: sorry no toon in three years, been super busy!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: http 404 mondaytoons
spigot
#cartoons
#http
#spigot-solo
#toon
#woodring-stairs-background
7,583 12/24/2019 tell me about your dreams
pants: tell me about your dreams deuce: all tentacles and unicorns and upskirts
deuce
pants
#black-background
#deuce-pants
#dreams
#tentacles
#unicorns
#upskirt
7,584 12/25/2019 christmas 2019
spigot: IS ANYTHING OPEN ON CHRISTMAS BESIDES MY MOUTH????????
spigot
#christmas
#mouth
#open
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
7,585 12/26/2019 now i see
spigot: hot diggity DONGS spigot: D Y S W I D T deuce: no not really spigot: where one might have typed dogs, i avoided tired, wheezing cliched tropes and made a nimble end-run around audience expectation deuce: okay then now I see what you did there
deuce
spigot
#acronym
#deuce-spigot
#dongs
#drunk-deuce
#end-run
#football
#jean-charles
#white-background
7,586 12/27/2019 all god's children (are we)
pants: are we all god's children pants: can we not first peek into the gloryous hole to observe its contents
pants
#glory-hole
#god
#pants
#uncredited-character
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-field-background
7,587 12/28/2019 god rest his soul
pants: a mild case of the duh deuce: a serious case of the fuhhhhhhhhh deuce: a severe case of ruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh deuce: a critical case of AIDS pants: god rest his soul
deuce
pants
#aids
#buh
#deuce-pants
#duh
#fuh
#god
#ruh
#urinal-background
7,588 12/29/2019 okay guess what
spigot: PISS BOAT deuce: TOOT TOOT pants: CHUG CHUG spigot: CHOO CHOO (OKAY GUESS WHAT PISS RELATED MODE OF TRANSPORTATION I AM)
deuce
pants
spigot
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#irc
#mountain-background
#piss
#transportation
7,589 12/30/2019 slot p into tab v
deuce: my dong rates 21 gigaflops deuce: insert slot P into tab V deuce: if you continuously integrate my balls, I will continuously deploy on your face
deuce
#balls
#ci-cd
#deuce-solo
#dong
#software-development
#woodring-field-background
7,590 12/31/2019 GETTING AN extradition ORDER
deuce: I'M CALLING MY LAWYER AND GETTING AN extradition ORDER FOR MY DICK deuce: IT'S IN SAN PAOLO RIGHT NOW
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EPISODES: 2019

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