spigot: WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT EVERY FUCKING MORNING

ozone: INIT: SINGLE USER MODE ozone: HAVING SOME KIND OF PROBLEM deuce: COCKS ozone: THE SYSTEM IS BEING SHUT DOWN NOW !!! deuce: LHGLHAGHLAGLHAG

pants: RUNNING FROM MY MOUTH IS ALWAYS FOOLISH pants: WHERE WAS I pants: AH YES

pants: THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS ANAL pants: HELLO WORLD pants: A FOOLPROOF MASTER PLAN INVOLVING MY BALLS pants: FUDGE DALEKS ?????? EWWW pants: I WIPE THE POLE DOWN BECAUSE WHO KNOWS WHERE THE ONE BEFORE ME HAS BEEN pants: IS MY BONER A SHARP OBJECT??? OW OW OW YES pants: TRACE ("PENIS"); pants: EVERYTHING IS FOOD WHERE I COME FROM (DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT)

: Ladies and Gentlemen, for your consideration, Spigot the Bear. (spigot): LEARNING TO SUCK spigot: HONK BONK spigot: NO spigot: HURF BURF spigot: NO spigot: HOMPH HOMPH spigot: NO

deuce: I'M GOING TO PUT YOU TO WORK PICKING COTTON pants: XDVXFDFH

deuce: GOD JUST SMILES UPON ME deuce: OR IS THAT PISSING ALL OVER MY FACE AND HANDS deuce: I LOVE YOU YOU KNOW

spigot: OH GOD I'M A USELESS OLD WHORE spigot: MAYBE I CAN STUFF ALL THESE PILLS IN MY MOUTH AND DIE spigot: BLHALBURHG* @$UO:N (&AUR>B(^%

dick: FLITTING ABOUT FROM DICK TO DICK LIKE A HUMMINGBIRD IN SEARCH OF NECTAR deuce: BANG

deuce: [REDACTED] [REDACTED] HOLES [REDACTED] deuce: IT'S YOUR HOLE deuce: YOU PICK

atandt: HOLY BALLS spigot: DO THAT TRICK WHERE YOU SHUT UP

deuce: T SPIGOT I CAN FEEL A SQUIRT COMING spigot: HUHRRRRRRRRRR I'M RETARDED AND JOYFUL

spigot: IS THIS THE GRRRL WIDE WEB?!??!!? deuce: HUHUUHHUHU HITTING ME spigot: OVER AND OVER IN THE SAME SPOT spigot: URMPH spigot: URMPH

deuce: GHLGALHGAHGAHLGALHGA deuce: SPONTANEOUSLY CATHCES FIRE BUT CONTINUES deuce: GHHGAHAGLGHGALGHL

pants: BUHHHHHHHHHH atandt: HUHHHHHH pants: SQUEEZE pants: THE atandt: HEY pants: ORANGE pants: JUICE atandt: QUIT IT

pants: I JUST WANT TO SEE THE MISSILES HIT THE BUILDINGS IN COLOR THIS TIME deuce: WHATEVER AS LONG AS THE PRICE OF GAS GOES DOWN AND DIRTY PEOPLE DIE pants: LIBYA IS NEXT, THEN MICHIGAN pants: BOOM BAM BAM BAM NAPALM

: DEUCE FLUSHES TOILET spigot: MY DREAMS spigot: SPLASH SPLOSH OH GOD SOME OF THESE MIGHT BE SALVAGABLE

spigot: HUH OW OW OW deuce: T SPIGOT ARE YOU IN PAIN ?!??!?! : SPIGOT CHOKES "NO"

deuce: BULLET IN YOU pants: I'M JERKING IT deuce: HURRAY

net: HELP ME I'M BIG AND FAT deuce: SCOOPING AND SHOVELING net: SMOOTHING AND CARESSING deuce: PACKING AND LEAVING

spigot: THAT'S RIGHT YAY FOR ME AND BOTH MY BALLS spigot: T DEUCE THAT'S A TOTAL OF THREE YAYS deuce: GHALGHLAGBLAG

bung: T DEUCE SLAP MY COCK PLEASE deuce: IF I'M A COCK THEN EAT ME FI deuce: CASE UP THE NUTS ) CHEW IT ;; ESAC bung: YOU ARE A TRUE FUCKING FAGGOT

deuce: THUNDERCATS [REDACTED] deuce: NOT THAT THAT WASN'T [REDACTED] BUT IT'S STILL [REDACTED] pants: AYE LAD

spigot: STALKING AND KILLING WHOEVER DREAMED UP PORN MODELS PAINTED UP WITH CLOWN FACES AND CIRCUS MOTIFS pants: STARTING TO THINK THAT A REAL HUSTLER PHOTOGRAPHER WOULDN'T BE NAKED ALSO

deuce: COCKS pants: COCKS INDEED !!!!!! GOOD SIR I APPLAUD YOUR SUPPORT deuce: HANDLE ME pants: MANHANDLE OR JUST REGULAR HANDLE deuce: JUST GET DOWN ON IT

net: BUT WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER pants: YOU FUCKED HIM WITH THE BUNNY AND IT MELTED BWAAAHHHH (SAD) deuce: NOT RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE I FROZE IT FIRST pants: I'M SURE YOU GOT A GOOD 20-30 MINUTES OF FROZEN BUNNY FUCKING IN deuce: REALLY 10-15 BUT WHO CARES I'M FUCKING YOU NEXT BITCH

net: T PANTS I'D JUST LIKE TO POINT OUT HOW CHOCOLATEY MY BUTTHOLE IS AT THE MOMENT net: T PANTS LICKABLY SOFT/CHOCOLATEY net: T PANTS IN ALL SERIOUSNESS I'M TIRED OF HINTING. I NEED A RIM JOB SOMETHING AWFUL pants: I'LL GET THE HUGGIES

spigot: DONUT FIELD pants: JIMBO WALES LIKES TO POOP spigot: FALAFEL WORKSHOP pants: DON'T TAKE THAT SWARTHY TONE WITH ME spigot: "SHOE ME IN THE NUTS, I'M A CLOWN" THEN I FORGET THE REST pants: LOOK AT TARGET AND BLINK RAPIDLY TO INSTALL

deuce: WANGS ? pants: WANGS ! deuce: UNCERTAIN BUT WILLING TO LEARN MORE !! pants: IF ONLY I HAD SOMEONE TO COACH AND TEACH deuce: I HAVE AN IDEA spigot: I'LL BRING A TOWEL AND SOME CERTS

spigot: T DEUCE I WILL TALK YOU THROUGH IT spigot: LICK spigot: DICK spigot: PRICK spigot: BONG deuce: GLAGLAG spigot: DONG : SPIGOT HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED.

deuce: JERKCITY ALARM spigot: IS THAT ANYTHING LIKE THE RAVE ALARM (WEARING MY TIGHT PANTS)

pants: SPIGOT THE BEAR spigot: CHRISTMAS 2008 pants: V I S I T T H E O F F I C I A L S I T E spigot: SPIGOTTHEBEARMOVIE.COM pants: THIS FILM NOT YET RATED spigot: SONYPICTURESCLASSICS.COM/MIRAMAX/ASSETS/S/SPIGOTTHEBEAR?TRACK=84KRF84KF8J37RJ98FJR

deuce: LET'S REVERSE ENGINEER MY BALLS bung: IS THE GOAL LARGER/FASTER BALLS OR CHEAPER BALLS? deuce: T BUNG THE GOAL IS TO FIGURE OUT HOW THEY WORK !!!!! DUH bung: T DEUCE THEY WORK LIKE THIS: bung: SMACK SMACK SMACK ON MY CHIN

spigot: HURRBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB HORK HURLUP spigot: NEVER AGAIN spigot: HURBLURBLURBLURBLURBLURBLUR COCKS HONK

deuce: MMMMMMMMMMMMMM DICKS pants: MMMMMMMM MMMMMMM MORE DICKS deuce: AGHAGLHA pants: SEZ YOU deuce: GAHGLAHGLAG HALGHLAG HAL MORE FORCEFUL NOW pants: GLUAH GLAHGLAH GLUAH GLAHLGAHGG FEELING THE FORCE

: ON TEH LEFT, SPIGOT TEH BEAR. ON TEH RITE: DEUCE (DO NOT LET HIM NOM ON YOU) spigot: I SURE AM GAY THIS FINE MORNING deuce: I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME spigot: MUST BE GAY SPORES IN THE AIR OR SOMETHING deuce: SOMEBODY FLUSH US PLEASE

spigot: LET'S SING OR SOMETHING spigot: ONLY THREE MORE HOURS TO BEER AND A NAP spigot: LET'S NOT ALWAYS SEE THE SAME DICKS

pants: BLOWING DUDES IS THIRSTY WORK deuce: EWWWWWWW

pants: YOU SPIN IT AND IF SQUIGGILY NUMBERS COME UP, WE KISS deuce: UH OH spigot: TEH PR0N!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: SIR DO NOT SPEAK LIGHTLY OF THE PORN

pants: PENIS ON A BEACH deuce: FLAPPING, FLAILING

deuce: REDEMPTION pants: COME ON MY FACE deuce: WITHDRAWING REDEMPTION REQUEST

pants: T DEUCE PLEASE SEND NAKED PHOTOS deuce: ASAP deuce: THAT MEANS WITH EXTRA JERKSAUCE

: Deuce (left), Spigot (right) deuce: 1976 deuce: THAT'S A YEAR AS WELL AS A NUMBER spigot: I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT

spigot: DEW-DAPPLED BONERS spigot: AND WARM WOOLEN MITTEN

dick: I AM BEGGING YOU ALL TO MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL pants: GAHLUGUHALUGHAG WHEATGRASS AND SALTWATER AHLGUAHULGAG

pants: A BEAR NAMED SPIGOT deuce: WELL deuce: YOU'VE GOT TO BEAT THAT BEAR OFF pants: ?!? : HTTP://JERKCITY.COM/LS4D.MP3

deuce: T PANTS THESE AREN'T THE BALLS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR pants: T DEUCE THESE AREN'T THE BALLS I'M LOOKING FOR

pants: T SPIGOT WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NO COCKS AFTER 10PM pants: T SPIGOT OH SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE THAT OTHER GUY pants: T DEUCE WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT NO COCKS AFTER 10PM

: Pants (left), Spigot the Bear (right, not a real bear) pants: I SEE YOU SUCKING spigot: I REALLY DO NOT THINK THAT YOU DO

spigot: {{{{{{{{ PRICKBEAR }}}}}}}}} pants: TOWERING OVER ME WHILE I'M TRYING TO SLEEP

spigot: I CAN SEE HOW GAY YOU ARE FROM ALL THE WAY OVER HERE deuce: IS THAT MY CUE

spigot: THIS POSTING HAS BEEN FLAGGED FOR REMOVAL. spigot: COME BACK FAKE SEX LADY

deuce: CAPSLOCK + SHIFT = NO CAPS

spigot: S U I C I D E deuce: DALFHDSFH

deuce: THIS IS ALL GETTING TOO COMPLICATED TO FOLLOW pants: CHEW ME OFF deuce: SNAKEBITES AHOY pants: ===DRINKING ALERT=== deuce: I HAZ A BUNNEH pants: CALLING THE EFF

deuce: LOVE CONNECTION pants: DOWN IN FRONT

deuce: [HOW ABOUT] FISTING ME WITH THAT THERE BASEBALL BAT deuce: IF YOU PUT ME UP YOU I POISON YOUR COLON spigot: THESE DORM ROOMS ARE LIKE FAGGOT OVENS deuce: I NEVER KNEW TRUE LOVE

deuce: I SAID COCKS pants: I HEAR YOU BROTHER deuce: OH YES pants: BRING IT ON deuce: COCKS I SAY pants: HALLELUJAH

pants: HAW HAW WE MADE HIM CRY pants: WHAT A SISSY pants: NOW LIGHT HIM ON FIRE

deuce: COCKSUCKING BEHAVIOR IS CONTROLLED BY THE PANCREAS pants: EEW deuce: AS WE ALL LEARNED IN SCIENTICIAN STUDY pants: GROSSED OUT BY THE PANCREAS PART OF THE COCKSUCKING deuce: BUT THAT'S NOT STOPPING YOU IS IT pants: NO SIR

pants: JESUS WANTS A SACRIFICE spigot: I CAN FEEL THE FAT PUSHING ITS WAY INTO MY LAP!!!!!!!! spigot: AND FACE AREA!!!!!

pants: DROWN ME IN THE BATHTUB pants: BUT STOP JUST AFTER I SPURT pants: THANKS deuce: GAHLAHGLUAGAG

deuce: I'M A JERK BUG pants: BUGGERY IT IS THEN deuce: BUT WAIT I

deuce: (WISTFULLY) WE ALL LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON THAT DAY deuce: CLEARLY HAVING AN ENTIRELY UNRELATED INTERNAL CONVERSATION pants: HUALGHUALHGULAUG

: A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR BIONIC WEDNESDAY

pants: WHERE DID THE MAN TOUCH YOU pants: NO, DON'T USE THE DOLL pants: JUST TOUCH ME

deuce: RAPING ME BACK IN TIME pants: DON'T RAPE ANYTHING ELSE WHILE YOU'RE BACK THERE (LIKE OUR GRANDFATHERS) pants: WHY THE DINOSAURS DIED OUT deuce: MAKING MY GRANDFATHER RAPE YOUR GRANDFATHER AT GUNPOINT deuce: BECAUSE I'M AN INNOVATOR pants: BLESS YOU SIR (AS I SLOWLY CEASE TO EXIST)

pants: RE: WIPING MY DICK OFF AND RUNNING AWAY TO FIND ANOTHER STARBUCKS/RAPE CENTER

spigot: ALSO YOU'VE BARELY EVEN LOOKED AT MY BALLS spigot: EITHER ONE spigot: WIPE THAT SOUR-GRAPES LOOK OFF YOUR FACE AND GET SMOOSHY

deuce: FUCK pants: TAKES TWO TO TANGO deuce: THIS ROOM SMELLS LIKE MENSTRUATION pants: ME TO BEAT OFF AND YOU TO HATE IT

: OH BIONIC WEDNESDAY WE HARDLY KNEW YE

deuce: HOW ABOUT REGARDING YOUR BIG FAT ASS spigot: AND WHAT ABOUT WITH RESPECT TO ME KICKING YOUR NUTS deuce: T SPIGOT THIS TOO SHALL PASS

deuce: DICKS OVER HERE THIS WAY pants: JL: AEFJL: DFJL:SDJL: DJL: DSFJL:SDFJ pants: LOOK WHAT I CAN DO K:SFJLKSJFLSKDFJLSKDFJLSFJ pants: I'M THE KING

pants: SQUIRT deuce: IT BURNS, ETC. pants: BONK ME deuce: I BONK THEE pants: BOTH EYES deuce: POOR YOU (BONK)

net: HELP I'M LOST IN SCOTLAND WITH A VT100 dick: LET'S ZOOM IN

deuce: EATING IT UP spigot: PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT SPIGOT spigot: DON'T LOOK spigot: WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY

: LEFT: SPIGOT THE BEAR : RIGHT: DEUCE FROM JERKCITY (DO NOT FEED) deuce: I LOVE HARD COCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

: SUCK IT, FATTY pants: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR pants: HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK HALUGHALUGHLUBAG HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

: HE'S NOT A REAL BEAR YOU KNOW spigot: OKAY TOOK A DUMP IN HER CUBE AND SHE STILL HASN'T EMAILED ME HER PHONE spigot: NOT UNDERSTANDING

deuce: GRAB YOUR ANKLES PEOPLE IT'S THE DEUCE spigot: T DEUCE CAN I HAVE AN ALLOWANCE deuce: BYE FAGGOT

pants: I'M HARD deuce: WHO ISN'T pants: YOU APPARENTLY pants: GET HARD PLEASE pants: THANK YOU

spigot: OKAY QUIET NO TALKING DURING MACNEIL/LEHRER deuce: DON'T TRY AND FOOL US SPIGOT EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THAT STUFF spigot: TRYING TO LEARN ABOUT BONSIA AND CHEVENESERESSCHIHA

deuce: ANGRY ABOUT THIS PEOPLE pants: VERY UPSET ALSO deuce: GIMME SOME HEAD spigot: OKAY VERY FUNNY WHO WROTE "SEX BOAT" ON MY CAR

atandt: WHAT WE NEED IS ONE MORE DICK I THINK deuce: T ATANDT I HAVE FIVE ON ORDER atandt: ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING HERE deuce: YES deuce: WE'RE TALKING ABOUT DICKS RIGHT

spigot: OKAY SIR!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: THANKS FOR YOUR FAT MOUTHY WORDS AND OPINION spigot: [TRASH]

pants: OW OW OW spigot: WELL LADY WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD deuce: THAT LOOKS REALLY PAINFUL !!!! deuce: GLAD I AM SITTING IN THIS CHAIR NOT EXERTING ANY ENERGY pants: THIS IS WHERE I COME IN deuce: I'M CONVERTING FOOD CALORIES INTO ANGER

pants: WHEN IS THE NEXT MOON LANDING deuce: WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW pants: MOON DICKS

spigot: YAY FOR SPIGOT spigot: TIDDLY IDDLY HUP BUP spigot: TAPPA DAPPA DUMP spigot: TRYING TO FIT IN spigot: {{{{{{{{ BYE TO ALL MY ONLINE FRIENDS FOREVER }}}}}}}}}

deuce: WHOO pants: I CAN FEEL YOU deuce: I'M IN YOU deuce: SO I'M NOT SURPRISED YOU CAN pants: DOWN THE HATCH

deuce: MAN, WHAT AN IDIOT spigot: I'LL SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!

pants: LEMME SHOW YOU SOME-THING pants: PLEASE EXCUSE ME BUT I GOT TO ASK: pants: WILL WIKIMEDIA TAKE PHOTOCOPIES OF MY RECEIPTS FOR HOOKERS OR DO THEY NEED THE ORIGINALS (MOSTLY BUSINESS CARDS)

pants: DO ME IN pants: JERKCITY-101 ONLY AVAILABLE EVERY OTHER QUARTER pants: OKAY THAT'S IT I'M LICKING THEM ALL OVER AGAIN FROM THE START HLUGAB HLUABGLUHALBAG :HGSA:AHG:LAGADYFG OW OW OW QUIT IT LAHGHALUGHULAHUUGLAG

spigot: T DEUCE I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU THROW THE WORD "LOGS" AROUND deuce: I DON'T LIKE ANY OF YOU PEOPLE deuce: I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT

spigot: T DEUCE WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU TODAY deuce: T SPIGOT MAKE ME PRETEND TO BE YOUR DOG spigot: T DEUCE I LIKE SQUIRTING HONEY MUSTARD AND OIL AND VINEGAR ALL OVER MINE deuce: T SPIGOT YOUR WHAT deuce: SCARED NOW

spigot: NO WAY IS THAT FRUIT ROLLED UP INTO A TUBE pants: YES WAY pants: FUCKING STUFFING IT INTO YOUR MOUTH pants: VERY UPSET HERE

pants: HLUAGHULUHALGAG NOM NOM NOM pants: OM NOM NOM NOM GAHULGUHALG BUHLUHLAGHLAHGAG pants: THOSE TWO THINGS DON'T MIX WELL

pants: STILL HERE pants: STILL TURNING THE CRANK, MAKING MORE pants: STILL MASTURBATING NIGHTLY TO THE WEIRD PANTS FACE pants: STILL CHOKING THEM UNCONSCIOUS THEN RUNNING AWAY WITHOUT PAYING pants: STILL DAYDREAMING ABOUT THE BRUISES I LEFT ON YOU pants: STILL RUBBING YOUR NOSE IN IT pants: STILL MOPPING IT UP WITH YOUR HAIR pants: JERKCITY FOREVER

pants: LOOK HOW ME SEXY pants: NOW YOU GOT THE JUICE pants: PRYING THE GUN FROM HIS COLD, DEAD HANDS ONLY TO REPLACE IT WITH MY DONG

deuce: HURR EATING THROUGH A STRAW AND STARING INTO SPACE FOREVER MORE deuce: HURRRDGLGURRNNN NAKED

deuce: HURBLE BURBLE deuce: LOOK AT ME CHOKE THEM DOWN deuce: HEY LOOK HERE deuce: HURBLE BURBLE

deuce: URRRRRRRRRRRRRRR spigot: I DON'T FOLLOW BUT YES PLEASE WITH THE JIZZMOPPERY

deuce: HONK ON YOU pants: I SERIOUSLY DO NOT RECOMMEND THAT YOU JUST WALK UP AND HONK ALL O-- pants: HALHGLUAHGLUAH GLUAHGLUAG OKAY NEVERMIND

pants: HURF UGH pants: TAKING IT pants: JUST LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE spigot: ALL OVER MY NEW DRESS AND SHOES AND MEMBERS-ONLY JACKET

deuce: COULD YOU PLEASE ELABORATE deuce: AND BY THAT I MEAN SUCK ON MY NUTS UNTIL YOU TURN PURPLE

deuce: SCRATCHING MY ASS deuce: EVERYTHING IS REALLY SLOW AND LAGGY BECAUSE OF THE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF PORN ROLLING IN AS WE SPEAK deuce: CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP [THOSE ARE THE CRICKETS BECAUSE IT'S QUIET]

deuce: TWO FAGS IN A BLANKET spigot: THURSDAYS pants: ON UPN 44 (CABLE CHANNEL 12)

deuce: LOWERCASE RAPE pants: EATING DICKS FROM A BUCKET deuce: GROSS

deuce: T SPIGOT DO YOU WANT TO JOIN US ON THE IRC TONIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: T DEUCE I'D RATHER WATCH A SPEEDRACER MARATHON AT YOUR HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: T SPIGOT WELL TAKE YOUR PICK BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: T DEUCE MANGA

deuce: NOW IT WILL PISS UNCONTROLLABLY pants: THEN I WILL NOT FUCK IT

deuce: GAHGLAGHLGHALGH DON'T HIT ME spigot: WHORRRRRPTLKGHJ spigot: I AM SO SORRY deuce: GAHGLAGHLGHALG

spigot: LET'S ALL RALLY AROUND MY DICK AND SHOW SOME SUPPORT spigot: SFX: PARADES AND HORNS spigot: I'M *GOBBLING* DICK spigot: I'M ALSO GARGLING DICK spigot: IT'S LIKE SOME IDIOT ON THE BUS GROPING YOUR PACKAGE

spigot: OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOUR MYSTERY DATE!!!!!! deuce: UH OH spigot: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK I SEE THE SHADOW OF YOU EXAMINING ME THROUGH THE PEEPHOLE deuce: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

pants: YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, BABY atandt: PLEASE NO TOUCH pants: NOW HOLD STILL atandt: SIRS pants; THIS IS GOING TO STING AND PINCH AND THEN HURT LIKE [REDACTED] atandt: HOLY

atandt: IS MY HOT DOG READY YET

pants: T DEUCE DISNEYLAND THEN ????? deuce: T PANTS AS LONG AS I GET TO BE ON TOP pants: T DEUCE UH pants: T DEUCE OKAY pants: T DEUCE I HAD YOU DOWN FOR THAT SLOT ANYWAY pants: ODD HOW THINGS JUST WORK OUT

spigot: SOMETHING WITH THE AM BEING FM spigot: WAIT THAT'S A CLOCK RADIO spigot: COMPUTER'S IN MY ROOM HANG ON spigot: OKAY NOW I HAVE THE COMPUTER ON THE FUTON WITH ME spigot: TURNS OUT I JUST HAD MY HEAD IN THE TOILET

spigot: I'M GAY WHO'S WITH ME PEOPLE spigot: LET'S SEE SOME HANDS spigot: AND BALLS AND COCKS spigot: I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU HOMOPHOBES

deuce: I CAN'T BELIEVE THE EXTENT TO WHICH I'M BEING BATTERED AND BASHED pants: TIS BETTER TO HAVE BEEN TRAPPED AND RAPED THAN TO HAVE-- pants: WAIT WAIT WHAT pants: OKAY FINE SNICKERS AND A MARS BARS THEN PLEASE

spigot: I WOULD ENJOY A FROZEN KIT KAT pants: I DON'T SEEM TO pants: OH deuce: MOM THIS CHANNEL SUCKS CHANGE IT

deuce: FOR THE LAST TIME NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU SPIGOT

pants: JERKCITY IS BOTH EDUCATIONAL AND ENTERTAINING pants: DRUGS HELP US PLAY deuce: I CALL IT EDUTAINMENT

spigot: DOES ANYBODY EVEN SEE THESE GREY THINGS deuce: THE FLAPPY BATTY THINGS ATTACKING YOU ???? deuce: NO spigot: HOMPTH

deuce: WHO LIKES COCK IN A PLATONIC WAY deuce: JUST AS A FRIEND spigot: JUST HERE TO HELP pants: I'M EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN THE FEELINGS OF THE COCKS

deuce: LET'S MAKE A MESS bung: PHYSICAL OR VIRTUAL deuce: SURPRISE ME

spigot: RICHARD DAWKINS SAYS I'M RELATED TO SEA SQUIRTS !!!!!!! spigot: I GUESS I KNEW THAT deuce: SFX: PARADES AND HORNS

spigot: *****FOOSH***** spigot: SILLY STRING

pants: LET'S BAKE A CAKE OR TAKE A SHOWER atandt: MAN OVERBOARD pants: FUCKED / HAVEN'T FUCKED YET / ALL FUCKED OUT pants: AND TRACK URINE AROUND atandt: DOWN IN FRONT pants: T DEUCE I WAS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES pants: FOR TWO TERMS atandt: SELECTING PEDOBEAR FROM THE START MENU pants: I AM INVINCIBLE : PANTS HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED.

spigot: CHAR *NUTS; deuce: TYPEDEF CHAR NUTS[2]; spigot: STOP SHOWING OFF

pants: 1111111111111111111 deuce: STOP HITTING THE 1 BUTTON (AND STOP BITING PLEASE) pants: I WILL DO NEITHER

spigot: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF MY NUTS ARE GETTING INSTALLED IN YOUR FACE DIRECTORY deuce: T SPIGOT LET ME CHECK

pants: GET ON GET ON GET ON pants: GET ON GET ON GET ON pants: OKAY GET OFF GET OFF GET OFFA ME spigot: I'M JUST FUCKING STANDING HERE

pants: ELVES WANTED! pants: JOB FAIR pants: WEDNESDAY

spigot: I'M DIZZY AND WANDERING NAKED AND COLD THROUGH A COMPLEX MARKETPLACE spigot: WHERE WAS I spigot: BLAH BLAH POOH AND PIGLET deuce: CAN I MEET MICKEY

deuce: HISSSSSSSSSSING deuce: I'VE SPRUNG ANOTHER LEAK deuce: T PANTS PLZ STOP POKING HOLES IN ME bung: T PANTS IF YOU BREAK THIS ONE DAD WON'T GET US ANOTHER pants: T BUNG I'M BETTING HE WILL POKE, POKE

pants: WE NEED TO EXPEL HOURLY pants: OTHERWISE... pants: RAPE deuce: GOD BLESS AMERICA

pants: MOSTLY CRABS atandt: T PANTS TRANSLATION: JERK ME SILLY atandt: T DEUCE ALTERNATE TRANSLATION: WHERE IS THE BUS TO YOUR FACE?

spigot: NINE MINUTES TO PORN spigot: PROBLEM IS I TURN GAY IN EXACTLY EIGHT MINUTES spigot: SO IT'S A RACE deuce: SERIOUS DISCREPANCY

deuce: WORD UP PEOPLE deuce: I JERKED OFF SO HARD MY NUTS ARE GLOWING deuce: EITHER THAT OR IT'S RADIATION deuce: I'LL STICK WITH THE GLOWING THEORY

spigot: SEKA AND SULKA ARE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE deuce: MYSELF, I'M CONFUSED REGARDING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EBONY AYES AND PURPLE PASSION spigot: I BELIEVE THEY'RE BOTH SUBCLASSED FROM VANESSA DEL RIO deuce: OBJECT-ORIENTED PORN

pants: SACRE BONG deuce: SPOKEN IN PERFECT FROG

spigot: WHOEVER TOOK MY LIGHTSPEED PASCAL FLOPPIES FROM MY BACKPACK PLEASE RETURN THEM spigot: ALSO I NEED MY BACKPACK spigot: MY LUNCH IS IN THERE

pants: ATTACK ME WITH WEAPONS pants: [B[A[B[A[B[A[B[A[D[D[D[D[D pants: MY CAN-DO MOUTH deuce: YOU'RE A YES MAN

spigot: T DEUCE MY TENTPOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: T SPIGOT I DON'T GET IT

pants: HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE THIS pants: ARE YOU SURE pants: NO THAT'S A FIVE pants: NO LOOK IT'S A FIVE pants: SINCE WHEN DOES FIVE MAKE THE S SOUND pants: ANOTHER BASEMENT BENEATH THIS ONE ???????? pants: HELP ME WITH THE TRAP DOOR

pants: HEIL ME LIKE YOU HEIL HITLER pants: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY pants: I GET PAID TO SHOW UP

pants: IF WE SMOKE FOUR BOWLS WILL IT BE 7PM AGAIN pants: HMM pants: CHECK MY MATH deuce: GO GO GO

deuce: I SAID COCKS deuce: I MEAN SOME SERIOUS COCKS GOING ON AROUND HERE spigot: HOLD ME deuce: I CAN'T WRAP MY ARMS AROUND YOUR BIG BUBBLY LIPS (spigot): UNDERWEAR

deuce: PORNOGRAPHY IS MY DEPO PROVERA

pants: WATCH ME DANCE pants: OW deuce: WHATEVER

deuce: T SPIGOT WARNING !!! PANTS WILL TRY TO GET GAY WITH YOU !!! spigot: I FIND THAT HARD TO B spigot: OW OW OW pants: I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE GAY

deuce: WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?????????????????????????? deuce: OH WAIT A MINUTE PORN

pants: YOU LOVE IT WHEN THEY POKE pants: AS INDICATED BY POLLING DATA

spigot: PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE ON MY FACE deuce: T SPIGOT'S FACE GET OVER HERE

spigot: WE COULD USE YOUR SUPPORT NOW MORE THAN EVER spigot: RE: POST SEPT 11 spigot: IN THESE TURBULENT, CONFUSING, POST SEPT 11 TIMES

deuce: EAT MY ASS PLZ pants: ARE YOU CLEAN OR DIRTY deuce: I PAY GOOD MONEY pants: I THINK JUST DIRTY deuce: BOTH AND YET NEITHER (I AM A MYSTERY)

deuce: HLGLHGAHLGAHLAGLHALHA spigot: DUH?!?! deuce: I THINK SO YES !!! spigot: DONGS??!??! EXHAUSTED deuce: NOT HAVING ANY IDEA WHAT WE'RE DISCUSSING spigot: REALLY QUITE HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TIRED

spigot: ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE THE DONG spigot: RELATIVELY DARK DURING/AFTER THE DONG spigot: WISHING THERE WERE AN INSTEAD-OF-THE DONG

pants: BARF ON MY COCK pants: YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO pants: GRUNT DUH HOOOOOOOOOO

deuce: SEVEN STAGES OF DICKLICKERY dick: SEVEN DEGREES OF PLEASE STOPPING BEATING ME deuce: OW OW OW OW OW deuce: I SURE HOPE THE LAST STAGE IS ACCEPTANCE deuce: BECAUSE THIS IS REALLY HURTING ME deuce: OW OW OW OW OW

spigot: *PSSST* CRACKLE pants: UHHHHHHHH COCK ZOMBIE BUHHHHHH I HEAR AND OBEY HUHHHHH

: SPIGOT APPEARS IN A POOFY CLOUD OF GAY FATNESS spigot: DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA spigot: I HAVE TO GO NOW

dick: REAL FUCKING FAT dick: I MEAN FAT dick: BIG ROLLY FAT deuce: THERE'S NO GODDAMN CANDY IN THE BATHROOM

spigot: (A) LICKING spigot: (B) SUCKING

spigot: I CAN'T BREATHE FOR THE LOVE OF HOLY GOD (AND CHRIST) pants: PRAY WITH ME spigot: I HAVE FORSAKEN MY ONLY BEGOTTEN BONER FOR RICH DELICIOUS CRUMBCAKE

spigot: GAY AND ALONE spigot: AGAIN spigot: SO ARE WE HAVING BRUNCH OR NOT

pants: I'M REALLY THINKING ABOUT SUCKING COCK !!!!!!! pants: WHAT DOES THE OPEN-SOURCE COMMUNITY THINK OF THIS ??????????????? deuce: T PANTS SLASHBACK PLZ pants: T DEUCE I CAN ONLY LASH OUT AND SLASH TITTIES deuce: T PANTS I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY (DONG SAUCE)

deuce: HI deuce: WHAT ARE YOU WEARING YOU SEXY THING deuce: AND DON'T TRY TO PRETEND LIKE YOU'RE NOT GODDAMN SEXY pants: MOSTLY TUNA

deuce: ARE YOU SPIGOT OR SPIGOT THE BEAR spigot: WHY CAN'T I BE A LITTLE OF BOTH spigot: TEARS ON MY PILLOW: I'M FUCKING SINGING TO YOU *BEEP* deuce: SPEAK UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU WITH ALL THE DICK IN THE WAY spigot: BLAHBLHALBHALHALHLAH YOU AND YOUR POKEY WIENERS

spigot: EVERYONE BE QUIET I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!!!!! spigot: *BLAM*

deuce: EVERYBODY DOWN !!!!! deuce: $ deuce: A DOLLAR SIGN IS AFOOT

spigot: WILL MY SPRITELY ATTITUDE COUNT FOR SOMETHING?????????? deuce: WHERE'S MY COFFEE LIKE I ASKED YOU TEN MINUTES AGO deuce: DO YOUR FUCKING JOB OR WHAM !!!!!! spigot: BLOGS

pants: HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH pants: AGAIN AND LOUDER **HUHHHHHHHHH**

pants: WHERE WILL IT END deuce: ANOTHER HUGE POO pants: THERE IS NO ROOM FOR THE WEAK IN THIS GAY TOILET

pants: DIRTY TOILET FUCKER deuce: SIR IT'S QUAINT AND CUTE NOT DIRTY deuce: AHEM, THE TOILET WAS FLUSHED SIR deuce: SO I DON'T REALLY SEE THE OH HE WAS **FUCKING** IT pants: WHAT WOULD BE GROSS IF HE PISSED ALL OVER IT

pants: POOP deuce: SHOW ME deuce: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR UNSUBSTANTIATED CLAIMS OF POOP deuce: I REQUIRE PROOF pants: CUPPED IN HANDS deuce: IS THIS THE REAL STUFF OR ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR TRICKS pants: TASTE IT deuce: NEEDS MORE BUTTER

pants: I'M A SUPERPOWER PFFFFFFT PFFFT pants: HONK HAMP DUH deuce: STOP SPITTING ON ME PLEASE MR. SUPERPOWER pants: PFFFFFFT PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT SORRY I'M TRYING TO GET THIS CAT HAIR OUT OF MY PFFFFFFFFFFFFT OH IT'S A DICK NOT A PFFFFFFT PFTT

pants: ACK pants: HOLY GOD pants: ***YOU HAVE DIED***

deuce: DICK DICK DICK pants: DICK YOU SAY pants: WELL pants: I CAN FILL THAT VOID pants: I CAN DIG THAT HOLE pants: I CAN MAN THAT GUN : PANTS HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED

pants: PANTIES pants: PANTY-LINERS pants: A GARDEN HOSE GOES UP MY ASS

pants: YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE BULLHORN MISTER spigot: T PANTS IT'S SPELLED BONER

deuce: NOW FILL ME WITH DICK (UNLEADED) spigot: PLEASE MAY I TOP OFF (spigot): PRETEND I'M THE 54 TO WESTGATE AND YANK MY DONG AND SAY NEXT STOP

pants: PLEASE JERK SLOWER pants: OR FILM YOURSELF AND LET ME WATCH IT IN SLOW MOTION LATER pants: I'M NOT TOO PARTICULAR

spigot: REMEMBER THAT TIME WE ALL WORKED AT JERKCITY pants: NOT TOO WELL NO

deuce: JERKCITY ALARM spigot: PLEASE DEVOTE MORE OF A TIMESLICE TO MY BALLS spigot: THANKS

spigot: WELL THIS IS ROMANTIC spigot: A LOAF OF DICK A JUG OF BALLS AND YOU pants: HUGGIN' THE BOWL (CBS THIS FALL)

spigot: WELL THAT'S ONE FOR THE MONEY spigot: TWO TO LICK DICK spigot: STOPPING THERE

deuce: GROW GILLS MOTHERFUCKER

spigot: I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG

spigot: I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG

spigot: I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG

spigot: I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG

spigot: I'M TALKING ABOUT LOVING, MONOGAMOUS DICKLICKING INSTEAD OF JUST CAVALIERING FROM DONG TO DONG

spigot: MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH pants: SEWAGE CAN BACK UP INTO YOUR HOME : Microsoft Chat : /!\ The user deuce is not conne pants: SEWAGE CAN BACK UP INTO YOUR HOME pants: SEWAGE CA| : [ OK ] deuce: SEWAGE IS COOL

spigot: WHY ARE YOU THRUSTING YOUR CANE UNDER THE STALL WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-E dick: ONE MUST THRUST IT SOMEWHERE MUSTN'T ONE

spigot: DEFINE "SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT" LADY spigot: WHEN YOU SAY YOU'RE SEEKING A "GENEROUS" MAN DOES THAT MEAN I CAN BE GENEROUS WITH MY PRICK OR spigot: OKAY YOU MEAN MONEY

deuce: TRUCK REQUIRED FOR TRANSPORT pants: FEELIN' FISTY pants: TRAILS OFF pants: FALLS ASLEEP, DREAMS OF SMOOSHY POO

spigot: NOW MORE THAN EVER WE NEED BRUCE WILLIS deuce: SEND HIM IN OPPOSITE DENZEL WASHINGTON

spigot: PUDDING AND POKERY deuce: WE WITCHES THREE WILL BHALBHLHB

deuce: ARE YOU E.E. CUMMINGS BUT IN UPPERCASE atandt: LET'S CHECK atandt: NOPE

deuce: T SPIGOT HUH deuce: T SPIGOT HUHHHHHHHHH deuce: T SPIGOT HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH spigot: TAKE IT OFF

spigot: I SURE HOPE MY QUEERNESS GOES AWAY BEFORE TOMORROW spigot: I'VE GOT AN IMPORTANT JOB INTERVIEW spigot: AT THE BATH HOUSE

pants: OWWWWWWWW YOU ARE TWISTING MY ARM HARD OWWWWWWWWW pants: AHLUGHALG deuce: T PANTS HOLD STILL WHILE I AM LUBRICATING YOU: PPHTHTH PTPHT PHTHPTH PPHHPT

pants: ARE YOU MY CHILD PROCESS

spigot: AND THEN IT FLAPPED AROUND BONKING INTO ALL THE EXPENSIVE ANTIQUES AND SMOKED ALL THE DOPE AND LOGGED INTO JERKCITY spigot: JEAN-CHARLES, LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU

pants: GONNA MAKE LOVE TO A FROG pants: THIS FROG pants: WAIT COME BACK

deuce: SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE atandt: YOUR WORDS HURT ME deuce: UP THE NUTS

pants: MOSTLY THE URINE pants: YES I KNOW IT'S AN AWFUL MESS pants: AGAIN, I'D HAVE TO SAY MOSTLY THE URINE

deuce: CONSIDER BUTT pants: AS A REPLACEMENT FOR 3?!?!?! pants: ONE TWO BUTT FOUR ????!!?!/11 deuce: THE NUMERAL 3 HAS CONTROLLED US FOR LONG ENOUGH deuce: TODAY ITS REIGN OF TYRANNY ENDS

spigot: SOAKED WITH PISS IN JERKCITY pants: LEVEL ?? PANTS

pants: NOM NOM NOM deuce: UNF UNF UNF dick: THIS IS THE STRANGEST GUINEA PIG FESTIVAL I'VE EVER BEEN TO

deuce: FINALLY I HAVE TIME TO MYSELF AND NOBODY WILL INTERRUPT deuce: I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY deuce: COCKS

pants: T DEUCE DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN WHEN YOU MAKE ME DRINK FROM THE TOILET pants: T DEUCE DOES IT deuce: T PANTS FRANKLY YES

spigot: T PANTS YOUR FROG IS SITTING ON ME AND WON'T GET UP AND KEEPS GOING TO THE BATHROOM pants: WATER ONCE pants: BUT pants: NEVER AGAIN

spigot: T PANTS NOT JOKING THIS TIME, THE FROG ASKED ME TO PLEASE "CHUCK HIM AND THE TANK OVER THE FENCE INTO THE NEIGHBOR'S YARD" spigot: HIS WORDS NOT MINE

atandt: ICE CREAM CAN NOT ATTACK YOU atandt: IT'S NOT ALIVE atandt: AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ROCKY ROAD

pants: T DEUCE BE GAY WITH ME AND ME AND ME pants: T DEUCE HUNKER DOWN AND LET'S SUCK ALL THE DICKS PRESENT deuce: T PANTS HOW THE FUCK MANY OF YOU ARE THERE ANYWAY pants: T DEUCE WORM YOUR WAY OVER HERE AND LET'S LOOK FOR NEW RECRUITS

spigot: WHAT I NEED IS MORE WINE AND/OR ANOTHER GLASS OF IT spigot: [LONG PAUSE] spigot: T PANTS BUG NO. 43729 LAUGHTER SOMETIMES INAUDIBLE

pants: REALLY HOPING TO GO TO THE PISS FARM THIS WEEKEND deuce: FRUMP deuce: SWALLOWED UP BY THE BLACK HOLE

spigot: GRABBING THE BLUE BULB AND SQUEEZING MEDICINES UP AND AROUND deuce: T PANTS DUDE IS HE LIKE GAY pants: HUHHHHHHHH SWIMMER'S EAR (FRANTIC) :Microsoft Chat [X] : /!\ The user pants is not connected. : [ OK ]

spigot: IF POINTS WERE AWARDED FOR DICKLICKING I WOULD HAVE SO MANY POINTS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uncredited green dinosaur: T DEUCE THAT THING uncredited green dinosaur: THAT THING IS HAPPENING AGAIN uncredited green dinosaur: T DEUCE I'M SERIOUS uncredited yellow dinosaur: LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS fucking faggots uncredited green dinosaur: IT IS HAPPENING AGAIN uncredited orange dinosaur: HGLHLAHLAG uncredited orange dinosaur: SHUT UP uncredited green dinosaur: NO I'M SERIOUS uncredited orange dinosaur: I'M TRYING TO JERK uncredited orange dinosaur: splork splut jizzy

spigot: GUHHHHHHHHH deuce: MOON BASE PAINFUL

deuce: QUACK dick: MOO deuce: T DICK YOU ARE FIRED

dick: T DEUCE PLEASE ENTER YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER FOLLOWED BY THE POUND SIGN deuce: GLHAGHLAGLHAG deuce: THIS IS AN ONLINE INTERNET SAVVY E-TRANSACTION !!! dick: T DEUCE POUND MORE PLZ

pants: AHLGHUALGHLAG pants: YEAH pants: I LIKES IT pants: GRUNT DUH MOOO HUFF HUFF HUFF pants: TEABAG ALL GNOMES pants: MAKE A MAN OUT OF ME pants: GO ON

dick: HORNY ROB! bung: HR6787.JPG dick: COMPUTER PEOPLE SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE ALTOGETHER dick: IT'S DISK DRIVE THIS AND ASSFUCK THAT deuce: ADMIRAL KRAGGGG

pants: NOW WE ARE TEN

deuce: HI I LIKE POO deuce: HEY LOOK AT MY BLACK TITS deuce: BLBAHLABLHBAHLBAH

deuce: HBLAHBLAHBLBHBALHAB deuce: MOTHERFUCKER deuce: FSDF

pants: SUCK THE DICK pants: YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO pants: PASS IT ON

: The user pants is not connected. spigot: T PANTS SO YOU'LL BE LICKING DICK AND FUCKING RIGHT OFF PROBABLY spigot: T DEUCE I'M STICKING IT TO THE MAN pants: I SEE

spigot: HI deuce: NO I WILL NOT GIVE YOU HEAD

spigot: BEEP BOOP BOOP spigot: HELLO YES I ORDERED A ***PROSTITUTE*** NOT A ***POETESS*** spigot: YOU'RE FIRED

deuce: I EAT A BURRITO AND INSTANTLY I FEEL A POO POKING deuce: CLEARLY MY ENTIRE ALIMENTARY CANAL IS PACKED WITH SHIT

net: COKE net: BOTTLE net: CANDLE net: CARROT

spigot: I ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF A GREAT IDEA FOR A WEB GAME spigot: OKAY, IT TAKES A BRIEF EXPLANATION BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS spigot: UP YOURS FAGGOT deuce: STRANGELY ENOUGH I KNEW THAT WAS COMING

spigot: CLOMPING AND STOMPING MY WAY INTO THE TOILET pants: MOM ALWAYS SAID, DON'T SUCK DICK IN THE HOUSE (GO OUTSIDE IN THE BUSHES IF YOU WANT TO DO THAT)

: A message from CDC of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services deuce: HURRRR deuce: GHLUAHGLUAG spigot: IS THERE SUCH OF A THING AS THE DONG PATROL BECAUSE IF NOT I WOULD LIKE AN ATTORNEY

spigot: I THINK WE'RE ALL FAT GAY FILM STUDENTS HERE, LET'S ROLL spigot: ACTION spigot: URF OW HURMPH PUMPING IT INTO THE AIR

: His listeners have found a personal revelation in what he has to say deuce: I HAVE A HANGOVER I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH spigot: I'M A HONEY OF AN O

deuce: HEY EVERYBODY I STOPPED SMOKING spigot: T DEUCE NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER

spigot: SMILE PATROL spigot: RIGHT IN THE SACK!!!!!!!!! spigot: HURGURUG pants: I HAD A SWAMP IN MY THROAT

ozone: HURRRRRRR ozone: NNNGGGGGGGG ozone: BLUGULGULUGBLUB LUBGLUGBULBLGUB GLUBGLUBUL GBGBLB deuce: HE'S DROWNING IN SOMETHING I THINK

: For he has convinced thousands of men and women to disregard the shackles of mediocrity spigot: FOR GODS SAKE I NEED MY HEAD IN THE TOILET spigot: WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY POO IN MY BIG FAT BOTTOM WHERE IT BELONGS INSTEAD OF ALL OVER THE SIDEWALK spigot: A PLASTIC BAG OR A PILLOWCASE OR SOMETHING spigot: JUST ANYTHING TO KEEP THE POO FROM LEAKING OUT DURING A JOB INTERVIEW spigot: I REALLY LIKE WORKING WITH PEOPLE spigot: I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE spigot: NO THAT'S NOT POO

spigot: WELL THIS HAS ALL BEEN VERY INFORMATIVE

pants: CHRIST IS LORD pants: DON'T COPY THAT FLOPPY pants: SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO GET THE JAWS OF LIFE FROM THE TRUCK

pants: THIS IS NOT A DRILL pants: STAND DOWN MEN pants: HALGHALHGLAG

pants: HURF BURF METAFILTER DISCUSSION pants: ANIMAL CROSSING IS MAKING ME GAY (SOMEHOW) pants: [REDACTED] EATEN, MINIFIGS IN MY [REDACTED]

spigot: HURRRRRRRR A DESK FULL OF PILLS AND KLEENEX AND PEACH-SCENTED LOTION spigot: EVERYTHING MAKES ME SICK!!!! spigot: I'M EITHER FRAIL AND BIRDLIKE OR FAT IN A RAIDERS JACKET

deuce: MOTHERFUCK spigot: SHUT UP deuce: STOP HITTING spigot: COULD SOMEONE PLEASE UPLOAD ANAL69.JPG ONE MORE TIME deuce: HOLY CHRIST spigot: OOFEN DOPPER VAS JAVA KRASHEN - VILK HELPEN!!!!!

spigot: REALLY HOPING I AM NOT ASKED TO CONTRIBUTE spigot: IN ANY REGARD

pants: LOOK WHAT I CAN DO (FALLS OFF KITCHEN COUNTER TRYING TO SUCK OWN DICK) deuce: AWESOME BLOSSOM

spigot: TRYING TO OVERLOAD += HERE deuce: OKAY PEOPLE: HEAD spigot: SO MOUTH += STRINGPTR(BALLS) SHOULD WORK BUT I NEED MORE MEMORY spigot: ALSO NEED MORE FOODS WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS deuce: SOMEONE SIGHUPPED MY MOUTH

deuce: T PANTS HONK pants: HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK spigot: FREQUENT PAINFUL URINATION pants: FUCKING WAKE UP I AM ON TOP OF YOU pants: I AM YOUR CLOCK RADIO

: He's not drunk, he's Spigot the Bear! New episodes start this fall. spigot: WHEN YOU SAID OUT FOR A DRINK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT LIKE WITH AN ACTUAL GLASS spigot: PLUH PTTH BUH TAKE ME HOME

spigot: HUFFING, PUFFING pants: I GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE JACKED HIM OFF HUH spigot: COME BACK AND LICK DICK WITH ME spigot: I MEAN PRICK WITH ME

atandt: KILL -9 ATANDT spigot: NEED A BIG HORSE DONG HOSING ME AWAY TO THE LAND OF COCAINE AND HOOKERS deuce: HUHHHHHHHHHHH deuce: ZZZZZZZUH

dick: HEY WOW WHERE DID ALL THIS PORN COME FROM deuce: HLAGHLAGH dick: T DEUCE WERE YOU MAYBE TRYING TO SAY HALLELUJAH BUT THEN GOT A DICK STUCK IN YOUR THROAT ????? deuce: HGALHGHAGH dick: KEEP TRYING deuce: GURGLE

atandt: LOWERCASE MEANS I'LL SUCK FOR FREE deuce: EXCELLENT pants: CHECK IT OUT A WHOLE EXTRA PANEL pants: WE SHOULD RENT IT OUT TO A CHURCH GROUP

pants: DING DING DING DING CLICK pants: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK pants: T DEUCE MY BELL BROKE

: From fattest to gayest: Deuce, Atandt, Spigot, Pants (not shown) atandt: BLEAT deuce: THAT'S TOO GENERIC AN ANIMAL SOUND spigot: GIVE ME BACK MY HUSTLERS

atandt: SO THIS PRIVATE DICK SAYS TO ME atandt: HOW COME ALL AND I SAYS atandt: THE MARVELS OF GENETIC ENGINEERING AND THEN HE SAYS atandt: I FORGET ANYWAY YOU HAD TO BE THERE (atandt): I AM LOGGING OUT NOW

: Below: Pants from Jerkcity, a cornfed American beauty pants: IT IS HAPPENING AGAIN pants: HUHHHHHHHHHHHH pants: NO IT'S REALLY NOT (pants): SO DIZZY .(pants): SO TIRED pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGGGH pants: FIGHT FAIR YOU BIG FAT DIRTY BONG YOU (KISSING NOISES)

deuce: HLFHLGHLGHLGGHLGLHGHL RETURNING TO BASE STATE LHGLGHGHGHLGLGHL HEAD

pants: I DIG JIZZ PEOPLE pants: T DEUCE ALL THE WAY DEEP BABY deuce: T PANTS HOW DEEP deuce: OKAY YOU NEED TO SIMMER DOWN pants: I DO NOT THINK SO ABLAHLABAL GAABLHABLA

: pants, left, and deuce, right, taken in happier times deuce: WHO WANTS TO EAT TASTY PRICK pants: MMM deuce: IN THAT IT IS TASTY (TASTY) pants: DELICIOUS COCK deuce: I SAID PRICK SIR DON'T BE GAUCHE deuce: TASTY

spigot; SEND ME $200 spigot: PLUS SHIPPING AND FONDLING spigot: PERHAPS GROPING BUT THAT IS AN OPTIONAL EXPENSE

deuce: I AM BEING HELD UNDERWATER OOOOOO pants: I WILL SAVE YOU deuce: ........... deuce: DROWNED

pants: I'M A JIZZMOP pants: USE ME FOR MY INTENDED FUNCTION deuce: I WOULD PREFER A PISSMOP RIGHT NOW deuce: A PISSMOP WOULD BE MORE IMMEDIATELY USEFUL TO ME pants: MAGICALLY I TRANSFORM MYSELF INTO WHATEVER IT IS THAT MAKES YOU MOST HAPPY

deuce: I'M FAT pants: I LIKE YOU deuce: EXCELLENT deuce: LET'S MAKE BABIES

: According to legend, alcohol was the principal factor contributing to Gay City's next upheaval. pants: SMALL PILES OF SHIT ON A BAKING TRAY, PUT IN OVEN deuce: PRETTY SURE THAT'S HOW THE WHOLE PROCESS WORKS ANYWAY deuce: IF YOU LIKE BURNT SHIT ON YOUR HANDS I GUESS pants: BUM ME OUT

spigot: TIRES ARE THE WHEELS OF CARS spigot: HOOKERS ARE "PROSTITUTES" OR CALL GIRLS (ESCORTS) pants: ARE YOU MY FAVE 90210 HOTTIE spigot: FOUR HUGE BUTTERY BAGELS

pants: YOU ARE ON MARS deuce: BREAKER BREAKER ONE NINE pants: AND I'M ON THE MOON deuce: SYRIA PLANUM TO CLAVIUS BASE COME BACK pants: AND WE HAVE A DELAY deuce: SEVENTY THREES TO YOU

spigot: PLEASE BEAT ME OFF TEN TIMES A DAY spigot: HOOOOOOOOOOO HURRRRR spigot: THAT'S ABOUT IT

dick: THERE MUST BE BIGGER FAGS THAN ME SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE WHERE dick: MAYDAY MAYDAY dick: I'M GOING DOWN

spigot: MY BIKE WAS STOLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: T SPIGOT BEAT UP A WOMAN IN RETRIBUTION

spigot: THESE TWILIGHT HOURS ALONE IN THE STALL GIVE ME TIME TO REFLECT ON IF I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE spigot: ALSO I CAN MAKE ECHOES spigot: NOTHING'S BUSIER THAN SUNDAY BRUNCH

deuce: WHY DOESN'T THE GAY ALARM WORK WHEN YOU NEED IT TO spigot: BEEP

spigot: T DEUCE WILL THERE EVER BE A RAINBOW?????????? *BEEP* spigot: EXPLAIN THE JIZZ ALL OVER MY FACE spigot: THERE'S NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER

deuce: IT TAKES TWO TO SUCK DICK deuce: ONE TO FORCE THE OTHER AND THE OTHER TO CALL THE COPS deuce: NOTE: SOME PEOPLE REFER TO IT AS "SUCKING COCK"

deuce: T SPIGOT ARE YOU JULIA CHANEL OR NO spigot: T DEUCE PLEASE RESTART YOUR MACINTOSH

pants: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK pants: STUPID BELL pants: CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK

deuce: SOMEONE DIDN'T LOG OUT THIS MORNING spigot: PANTLOAD

spigot: HOW CAN I MAKE MY FONT 80 COLS pants: BEEP deuce: BHLALHABHLBHLABHLBA spigot: CHOKING ME

spigot: OKAY IF YOU DON'T SUCK MY WANG IN THE TOILET I'M JUST GOING TO SAY YOU RAPED ME spigot: AND YES YOU'LL BE FIRED

deuce: CHECK OUT MY RECIPROCATING PRICK pants: OW OW YOU'RE USING IT WRONG deuce: DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT FROM THIS END pants: OW OW deuce: HORRIBLE DRILLING SOUND CONTINUES deuce: DUM DEE DUM deuce: DRILLING SOUND GROWS LOUDER

pants: ANOTHER EASY JERKCITY EXPERIENCE

spigot: WRITING A SHORT NOVEL ABOUT HOW I COLLECT PORN: WHAT GETS SAVED, WHAT GETS THROWN AWAY, WHAT WORKS BEST FOR ME

spigot: WITH FRIENDS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!! CUT MY DICK OFF

pants: NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM pants: OKAY SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

spigot: SIMILARLY I DON'T GIVE A SHIT

pants: BEATOFF CONTEST CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF JARS WITH SCREW-ON

dick: T DEUCE SHOW YOUR TITS deuce: POW BLAM SPARK

atandt: FUCKING SERIOUS spigot: MY STUPID LITTLE SUIT WHAT WAS I THINKING atandt: THERE IS A GHOST IN MY MAC spigot: THAT'S THE DESKTOP

net: T DEUCE IS IT TRUE THAT YOU ONLY HURT THE ONES YOU LOVE deuce: T NET NO IT IS NOT deuce: T NET BUT THEY GET EXTRA ATTENTION

deuce: LET'S HEAR IT FOR DICK atandt: DICK DICK DICK DICK DOCK DICK atandt: I PUT THAT "DOCK" IN THERE TO THROW YOU OFF deuce: STRANGE deuce: I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE SINCE I WAS TOO BUSY CONCENTRATING ON THE DICK

spigot: SERIOUSLY: WILL THERE EVER BE A RAINBOW deuce: T SPIGOT UNKNOWN AT PRESENT

atandt: BRIEFLY TOYING WITH THE IDEA OF HOMOSEXUALITY atandt: OKAY FULLY EMBRACING IT NOW pants: OTIS, NO, THAT'S YOUR SISTER

deuce: TIME TO CHANGE THE JERKSHIRT spigot: MCNUGGETS ETC spigot: DOES STANDING ON A CHAIR AND JERKING ON MY OWN FACE MAKE ME GAY deuce: NO IT'S ONLY IF I'M IN YOU AT THE SAME TIME spigot: IN THE ROOM WITH ME? NOT UNDERSTUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OKAY THEN

deuce: NOW THAT WAS A MONSTER POO